Trial Catch-Phrases /Bloopers,Baezisms and just plain funny MERGED

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  • #281
Thanks wasn't enough--he was such a character. Just hilarious, really, and should have a book or movie about him. :-)

I really loved him also and his manner of speaking. I mean this in a respectful way and I realize some won't take it that way, but when he spoke he reminded me so much of one of my 5 yr old sons who still doesn't pronounce his R's too well. It endeared me to him right off the bat. He is a really intelligent and passionate guy.
 
  • #282
JA: "You didn't wrap your pig in a blanket did you?"

:floorlaugh:

JA had told the judge he would use that phrase. lol
 
  • #283
"Apparently, I'm not doing this very well." ~ Dr. Timothy Huntington to JA on cross....
 
  • #284
no one brought over the live cadaver comment...... what was it exactly again?
 
  • #285
JB asked Dr H "Now, would that be a live human cadaver"?
 
  • #286
JB reminds me of a movie from Australia called "the Castle". The following is just a little of it when the lawyer is in the High Court of Australia when he is a Real Estate Lawyer or similar

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXxyTLbZNgw&NR=1"]YouTube - ‪The Castle - in the Federal and High Courts‬‏[/ame]

"It's the vibe of the thing"
 
  • #287
  • #288
One of my favorite movies ever! This lawyer in "The Castle" was incompetent, true. But he wasn't smarmy like Baez.

True but he was out of his depth lol Denis was totally lovable
 
  • #289
"I anticipate his testimony being not as lengthy as Heather Seubers..."

JB to the judge in regards to TH's upcoming testimony.
 
  • #290
SRSLY.png


I feel his pain!
I am such a fan of the judge :)
 
  • #291
Can we list irritants on this thread as well?

Examples:
- The way JB is always smiling as the Jury.
- JB's incessant use of "writing everything down to help the jury understand it better" - "Can the witness stand down please?"
- JB's visual aids... What a difference between the state and the defense in presentation
 
  • #292
I posted this in the JB texts thread, but thought I'd cross post it here for your amusement. Enjoy!


Who doesn't need a little humor after today's fiasco?

TOP TEN JB COURTROOM TEXTS:

10: @icaseyomarie Yes, Juror 10 does have nice eyes, but I'm in the middle of questioning this witness, can we do this later?
9: @PocketSquares.com Thanks for reminding me. I actually mailed that check yesterday. I swear.
8: @OrangeCoLibrary Sorry to bother you again. Can I also have the definition for "specious" ? Thanks.
7: @Zynga.com I just got up to do a cross examination, and when I sat back down at my computer, all my Texas HoldEm chips were gone. Can you look into this for me?
6: @GeraldoRivera: Cool, bro. See you there. Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, what kind of gel do you use?
5: @DogPsychics.com I don't care if he doesn't like the car, my butt is on the line here and I'm running out of options, so you'd better make sure Scruffy is available for deposition tomorrow.
4: @ABCBachelorette: I know! Shocker! I can't believe she sent West home and kept Ryan! Whatever!
3: @Cheney Mason: Yeah, him. Third row, blue shirt, nerdy looking. Ask him if he's a chemist. Where's a freaking chemist when you need one?
2: @icaseyomarie For the tenth time, no, I will NOT ask if Juror 10 is free in 2031. And get out of my chair.
1: @JeffAshton I know you are, but what am I. Hahahahaha!
 
  • #293
I posted this in the JB texts thread, but thought I'd cross post it here for your amusement. Enjoy!


Who doesn't need a little humor after today's fiasco?

TOP TEN JB COURTROOM TEXTS:

10: @icaseyomarie Yes, Juror 10 does have nice eyes, but I'm in the middle of questioning this witness, can we do this later?
9: @PocketSquares.com Thanks for reminding me. I actually mailed that check yesterday. I swear.
8: @OrangeCoLibrary Sorry to bother you again. Can I also have the definition for "specious" ? Thanks.
7: @Zynga.com I just got up to do a cross examination, and when I sat back down at my computer, all my Texas HoldEm chips were gone. Can you look into this for me?
6: @GeraldoRivera: Cool, bro. See you there. Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, what kind of gel do you use?
5: @DogPsychics.com I don't care if he doesn't like the car, my butt is on the line here and I'm running out of options, so you'd better make sure Scruffy is available for deposition tomorrow.
4: @ABCBachelorette: I know! Shocker! I can't believe she sent West home and kept Ryan! Whatever!
3: @Cheney Mason: Yeah, him. Third row, blue shirt, nerdy looking. Ask him if he's a chemist. Where's a freaking chemist when you need one?
2: @icaseyomarie For the tenth time, no, I will NOT ask if Juror 10 is free in 2031. And get out of my chair.
1: @JeffAshton I know you are, but what am I. Hahahahaha!

:yourock: :goodpost THat's hilarious! TYVM
 
  • #294
From today

JB - may assist the court?

HHJBP - you'll get your chance Mr. Baez; but right now I'm assisting myself.

:great::great::great:
 
  • #295
JA to Dr Huntington: "Sir, have you or do you know anyone who has driven around with garbage in their trunk for two years"?

Dr Huntington: "Not in the Florida heat..................................".

:floorlaugh:
 
  • #296
JA to Dr Huntington: "Sir, have you or do you know anyone who has driven around with garbage in their trunk for two years"?

Dr Huntington: "Not in the Florida heat..................................".

:floorlaugh:

So funny that he had to qualify that. It's almost like he's saying "but in Nebraska, on the other hand...." lol.
 
  • #297
"You don't use live human cadavers to research this, do you?" "No, they usually frown on us taking someone out there and killing them in the location."
 
  • #298
I don't think I'll ever be able to make pigs in the blanket without flashbacks again!
 
  • #299
JA cross examination

Dr. Huntington- Close...

JB object...allow witness to finish...

Judge...you may finish

Dr. Huntington...Close... ENOUGH!!!:floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

:floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:
 
  • #300
JA asking Dr. Huntington how he knew (from a picture!) that there was tobacco spit in one of the cans from the trash. To which the esteemed entomologist/chemist/decomp expert replies, " I know people who spit tobacco juice in a can and it looks just like that."

Followed by Ja actually retrieving a can from the trash evidence and asking Dr. Huntington if it looked like there was tobacco spit in that can. To which our esteemed entomology/chemist/tobacco spit expert replies, "Well, I would need a flashlight."

:floorlaugh:
 
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