Missed a few minutes due to phone call . . . .
JA was very disappointed because she wanted to marry and have children . . .
progression of this relationship - what about this relationship . . .
power differential - has power, high roller, prestigious in their faith, - power differences to see how this couple
in the beginning of a relationship pretty much look the same in a lot of cases .. .
ends her relationship with Mr. Brewer within about a week of coming back from that conference where she met TA . . . TA is calling her and invites her over to Sky and Chris Hughes' house and she goes . . . about a week and half after the conference goes to the Hughes in Palm Desert I think that is where JA lived or close to that area. . . TA was living in Mesa . . . during that weekend there is a period of time TA doesn't pay any attention to JA . . . . they watch videos when they go to bed - TA sneaks into JA room and starts to kiss her- she has felt very uncomfy but is very attractive and she doesn't want to lose him - he removes her clothing and they have oral sex . . . . JA said it was uncomfortable too fast too soon . . . but goes through with it.
the way that ALV thinks this is important only in a broader context . . . other folks
objection
what do you learn from other women . . . when they feel pressured they don't know how to stand up for self- . . . vulnerable woman and don't stand up for self . . . . boundaries . . .
speaks to JA's vulnerable - coming out of the relationship - wanted stability and met someone who appear very stable - involved with church . . . she did have the ability to say know but some do it better than others
she hadn't read Book of Mormon and didn't know parameters of Mormon faith . . . .JA and TA left separately . . . back to her house . . . .saw TA a few days later . . . met him @ a Starbucks - he gave her BOM and encouraged her to read it . . within a 2 week period they have had oral sex, he is stopping by in her town challenged her to read BOM - he tells her that he is horney and she performs oral sex on him . . .in the parking lot - he gets in his car and leaves.
to ALV - might be comparing her own boundaries to JA's boundaries . . . . vulnerability coming out of 4 year relationihp . . . because of her famly history her boundaries were probably a little more fluid than others boundaries.
TA sent Mormon Missionaries to her house and Brewer witnessed this . . . TA sent the Missionaries - don'tknow how often they came.
the time they spent in Erinburgh - (sic?) . . . .. a month after they mmet . . . they had planned to meet there because they lived in 2 separate States .. . JA thought this would be a time to get to know each other - her perception was it was all about sex, he wasn't attentive to her, he dismissed her, . . . .the only time he showed attention to her was when they were walking together and some of the Truckers started looking JA up and down and TA slapped her on the fanny - like ownership.
TA then doesn't callher for few days . . . .she wonders about it . . . he finally calls and she was thrilled - start to doubt about any relationship and all of this sexual intimacy . . .. make people self doubting when someone doesn't call . . . .JA said she felt stupid.
confirmation that he is thinking about her and he cares (in effect) . . . speaks to hopefulness, relationship is meaningful, has a way to go, has a future.
speaks to self blame and self doubt the way she was feeling stupid.
important whether there is a connection in their sexual activities . . . sexuality is a very connecting thing -a lot of emotion, nakedness in body and emotional nakedness. . . . she did not feel connected to TA that weekend - she felt somewhat dismissed.
ja was baptized in LDS faith in Nov 2006 -within 2 months after meeting TA - he baptizes her - at the baptism . . . .incredible important to people who are baptized . . ..
was it important to JA - spiritual for her and TA was doing the baptism significant . . . they were sharing a spiritual experience in the Mormon Faith an it demonstrates connection
Endowed Priesthood - a spiritual mentor and spiritual guide - he was the person to allow her to understand the Mormon faith and become more active in the faith - spiritual mentor
Wilcott asks for a break - asks to approach bench
5 min recess - only 5 min!