I find his reluctance to say the words, "I killed her," to ring true.
Truly self-serving. What he and his lawyers want to sound true is that he was not the active agent of Reeva's death. And they would like the judge to focus on O.P. as victim. Victim of "the tragedy," circumstances, fate, the need to protect Reeva, his great love for HIS baba, HIS terror "that night," which he does not want to have to re-live at the sight of wounds inflicted by tragic fate. MeeBee, you are too kind to OP. But I think it must be out of kindness and trust and that because you are truthful you believe others are.