TX - 'Lori Ruff', Longview, WhtFem UP9863, *General Discussion and Theories* #4

[lisapr355]

I have an Ancestry account and use it often. If I can help, please let me know.

 

[Gardener1850]

Just a warning- this is kind of a long winded blurb of my thoughts of the past couple days. Like I said, I've been working like crazy, so this is not organized or as thorough as I would like, but I just thought I'd put it out there. You've been warned! :bud:

Bringing this idea over from the Ben Perkins discussion... Looking at her striped shirt in the Idaho ID and putting together that Perkins is also the name of a chain diner, there was speculation that maybe a lead could be found in looking at vintage uniforms. I don't know how far anyone else looked, but I looked pretty extensively and didn't have any luck. McDonalds tops were close, but the pattern of the stripes were off.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/c5/f6/40/c5f6404fb2284622744e69622a5950c6.jpg

That got me thinking about what kind of work she did. If the stripping story is true, what did she do with all that money? Some estimates I have seen for income potential range from $500 to $3-4000 per night! If she worked 2 nights a week earning the minimum range, that is still $4000 of tax free money a month. We know she was in school part of the time, but she didn't rush through school (enrolled in 1989, graduated in 1997 with a bachelors). That is attending part time, taking summers off or attending full time, but taking years off. What else was she doing with all that free time?

Do we know when she left Dallas Community and enrolled in U of T at Arlington?

How much of her education did she finance through student loans? If it was 100%, then seriously, where was that $4000 a month (MINIMUM) going? She didn't drive a flashy car, Honda or something, right? Nice cars, but subtle, reliable, and practical. Strikes me as she was the type that didn't flash money around. There are people who keep their money out of sight, and these are usually people who have grown up comfortable but careful with money, or learned a hard lesson like a big stockbroker failure (dad- her story from Scottsdale). The people that could afford to cruise around in something sporty and fun, but know the value of a more durable car.

The more I think about her decisions, the reported social awkwardness, and the sometimes really intelligent things she did I think she definitely was on the ADD or Aspergers spectrum. Maybe she was blowing all her money on coke? Maybe she was sending cash to siblings that were out in the world on their own, or still at "home" trying to get themselves out (LDS/Cult/big controlling family theories).

Sorry for the brain dump!

I need to go back and re-read but I'm not sure we even have evidence she actually went to those colleges. We have her student loan application (correct? did I dream this, now I can't find it) and evidence she filed for bankruptcy for failure to pay the loans back. For all we know, she could have managed to take out the loans, live it up on the loan money and not worry about working for a few years. Or she used the money to live on and laid low until she was more certain she would not be found by whoever she was hiding from. Do we have her name listed in a graduation program anywhere? Do we have her picture on a student ID? Do we have a picture of her diploma(s)? No, we have GED test results and her resume which could be fake. We also have a parachuting certificate, which is not a cheap hobby, IMO. And after all those years in college, not one person that remembers her? Not one teacher or fellow student she might have studied with? No roommates coming forward with stories? Just one guy who claims he was her boyfriend when she was a dancer and that "she had too many problems". If she was getting money illegally or doing drugs, how did she manage to do that for 22 years without being arrested once? She didn't even have a parking ticket as far as we know...I have to wonder if she grew more paranoid as technology increased and video cameras increased and everyone started posting photos of things as mundane as business meetings online...And if her age was really much older than she claimed she must have worried about how to explain her early menopause and aging going on...Just random thoughts I'm having...I don't think she had Aspergers...I do agree she seems like a mentally unstable person--results of all the years of lies and/or trauma from what she was ran from?--MOO.

 

[Laughing]

I think we're eventually gonna find out that she maintained multiple identities before her marriage to Blake.

JMHO

 

[Gardener1850]

I think we're eventually gonna find out that she maintained multiple identities before her marriage to Blake.

JMHO

This would not surprise me but I wonder how she kept all her identities straight? And how did she get away with never meeting ANYONE from her other ID's while in the company of her husband and his family? It's like she was a ghost all those years in the Dallas area. I almost wonder if she lived elsewhere and had a regular job out of town that involved travel to Dallas once a month or something like that? IDK.

 

[Gardener1850]

Another random thing...I don't know if this has been discussed but I looked up the church listed on her resume and it no longer exists or has changed names. It's called Highland Meadow Christian Church in Colleyville, TX. Strangely, the church that has taken its place at that address (Compass Christian Church) has a directory for MARKETING their members businesses. Lori claimed to do marketing for the church previously so I thought that was kind of ironic. I wonder if any of the members/leadership at Compass were also at HMCC and might remember her? Would they have kept any of the materials she produced as part of the history of their church? I'm going to answer my own question--no. Because, IMO, she didn't write anything or market anything for the former church. She claimed to do marketing for them in 1998. This new church (Compass) was planted at the same location in 2002. Her resume reportedly was made in 2003. So it would have been easy for her to just look up a church online that had just folded/changed names and use that. No one for prospective employers to call to check up and she gets bonus points for having worked for a ministry in the eyes of most Christian Texan employers (MOO). I'd love to know who she used for references when she needed them!

 

[OBrunhilde!]

Hi all, I have never posted here before today, but I think I have read about 95% of what has been written on this site and elsewhere online. I became aware of this story when it was posted by The Seattle Times and I have been following it intermittently ever since. I have been favorably impressed by this group, so I thought I would risk chiming in!
So! I guess I will just dive right in. It seems that perhaps the most solid lead was generated by BST's father when he pointed further inquiries toward the Hwdr family. I've been digging in that direction, and in the process amassed a collection of photos of family members-- most of the people who have been mentioned thus far as well as some big group shots. I have pieced together many of the relationships but not all-- it is a big family. I immediately took note of two men, who to my eye, resemble FLEK. At first I thought they were unrelated, but I eventually discovered that they are, in fact, Hwdrs. If the theory that FLEK is the daughter of the Hwdr matriarch, then they may be her brothers. I am nearly positive the photos aren't fair game to post here, but is it okay to share them privately to anyone who is interested? If anyone is interested? Or maybe they are already out there and common knowledge? At any rate, it would take me a few days or a week max to format them so that they would make sense to anyone but me. I tried to write a longer post twice, but got timed out and lost everything. So maybe I will just make a few posts.

 

[Laughing]

Great work, Gardner.

Please keep in mind that the church may have changed the name and continued most everything else. There was some denominational upheaval around that time, the Disciples of Christ and Congregational denominations merged, the RLDS Reorganized Church of Latter Day Saints changed their name to Community of Christ as examples.

Our culture changed, some churches did lock the doors & sell the building, others worked at change.

Love your logic, for sure, love it!

 

[Laughing]

Welcome, OBrunhilde!

 

[sunnynz]

Hi all, I have never posted here before today, but I think I have read about 95% of what has been written on this site and elsewhere online. I became aware of this story when it was posted by The Seattle Times and I have been following it intermittently ever since. I have been favorably impressed by this group, so I thought I would risk chiming in!
So! I guess I will just dive right in. It seems that perhaps the most solid lead was generated by BST's father when he pointed further inquiries toward the Hwdr family. I've been digging in that direction, and in the process amassed a collection of photos of family members-- most of the people who have been mentioned thus far as well as some big group shots. I have pieced together many of the relationships but not all-- it is a big family. I immediately took note of two men, who to my eye, resemble FLEK. At first I thought they were unrelated, but I eventually discovered that they are, in fact, Hwdrs. If the theory that FLEK is the daughter of the Hwdr matriarch, then they may be her brothers. I am nearly positive the photos aren't fair game to post here, but is it okay to share them privately to anyone who is interested? If anyone is interested? Or maybe they are already out there and common knowledge? At any rate, it would take me a few days or a week max to format them so that they would make sense to anyone but me. I tried to write a longer post twice, but got timed out and lost everything. So maybe I will just make a few posts.

Welcome - you shouldn't post the shots on here but I too have done a lot of research into the H family so please feel free to PM me, I would be interested to see them. I have found woman who I feel is very like FLEK but no men. Would be interesting to know if your men and my woman are connected. There is also the closed facebook group where people are a little more loose with posting pictures and so on if you wish to join that.

 

[sunnynz]

Another random thing...I don't know if this has been discussed but I looked up the church listed on her resume and it no longer exists or has changed names. It's called Highland Meadow Christian Church in Colleyville, TX. Strangely, the church that has taken its place at that address (Compass Christian Church) has a directory for MARKETING their members businesses. Lori claimed to do marketing for the church previously so I thought that was kind of ironic. I wonder if any of the members/leadership at Compass were also at HMCC and might remember her? Would they have kept any of the materials she produced as part of the history of their church? I'm going to answer my own question--no. Because, IMO, she didn't write anything or market anything for the former church. She claimed to do marketing for them in 1998. This new church (Compass) was planted at the same location in 2002. Her resume reportedly was made in 2003. So it would have been easy for her to just look up a church online that had just folded/changed names and use that. No one for prospective employers to call to check up and she gets bonus points for having worked for a ministry in the eyes of most Christian Texan employers (MOO). I'd love to know who she used for references when she needed them!

It's great to have your fresh eyes and enthusiasm here. Yes agree most of her resume seems purposefully vague and hard to trace - especially the self employed part. And of course, it all starts from after the date she became Lori anyway...

As an FYI I contacted an Andy Anderson who was a lecturer at UT Arlington and who wrote the film that has previously been discussed as closely mirroring FLEK's story. He never opened my facebook message so I might try and find an email address for him and contact him again that way.

 

[ClaireNC]

I need to go back and re-read but I'm not sure we even have evidence she actually went to those colleges. We have her student loan application (correct? did I dream this, now I can't find it) and evidence she filed for bankruptcy for failure to pay the loans back. For all we know, she could have managed to take out the loans, live it up on the loan money and not worry about working for a few years. Or she used the money to live on and laid low until she was more certain she would not be found by whoever she was hiding from. Do we have her name listed in a graduation program anywhere? Do we have her picture on a student ID? Do we have a picture of her diploma(s)? No, we have GED test results and her resume which could be fake. We also have a parachuting certificate, which is not a cheap hobby, IMO. And after all those years in college, not one person that remembers her? Not one teacher or fellow student she might have studied with? No roommates coming forward with stories? Just one guy who claims he was her boyfriend when she was a dancer and that "she had too many problems". If she was getting money illegally or doing drugs, how did she manage to do that for 22 years without being arrested once? She didn't even have a parking ticket as far as we know...I have to wonder if she grew more paranoid as technology increased and video cameras increased and everyone started posting photos of things as mundane as business meetings online...And if her age was really much older than she claimed she must have worried about how to explain her early menopause and aging going on...Just random thoughts I'm having...I don't think she had Aspergers...I do agree she seems like a mentally unstable person--results of all the years of lies and/or trauma from what she was ran from?--MOO.

Welcome Gardener! Great to have some new eyes on the case. Yes we did have a copy of the college loan application. I think it's posted in the Media section of the forum. I agree that we don't know if she ever actually attended college, but we do know that she had college loans. From my experience, college loans are not like other loans that just give you the cash to use as you want. They generally pay the tuition directly to the college. So she wouldn't be able to use that money to live off of.

If she was living off campus and attending college part time, it is very possible that she never really interacted with other students. She was such a private person she probably never had any roommates. If she wasn't some type of outstanding student, it's likely that her teachers just forgot about her. College professors have a lot of students come through their doors each day and often don't remember their students years later.

I also think that she was older than she claimed.

 

[ClaireNC]

Hi all, I have never posted here before today, but I think I have read about 95% of what has been written on this site and elsewhere online. I became aware of this story when it was posted by The Seattle Times and I have been following it intermittently ever since. I have been favorably impressed by this group, so I thought I would risk chiming in!
So! I guess I will just dive right in. It seems that perhaps the most solid lead was generated by BST's father when he pointed further inquiries toward the Hwdr family. I've been digging in that direction, and in the process amassed a collection of photos of family members-- most of the people who have been mentioned thus far as well as some big group shots. I have pieced together many of the relationships but not all-- it is a big family. I immediately took note of two men, who to my eye, resemble FLEK. At first I thought they were unrelated, but I eventually discovered that they are, in fact, Hwdrs. If the theory that FLEK is the daughter of the Hwdr matriarch, then they may be her brothers. I am nearly positive the photos aren't fair game to post here, but is it okay to share them privately to anyone who is interested? If anyone is interested? Or maybe they are already out there and common knowledge? At any rate, it would take me a few days or a week max to format them so that they would make sense to anyone but me. I tried to write a longer post twice, but got timed out and lost everything. So maybe I will just make a few posts.

Welcome OBrunhilde! Glad you decided to join the discussion. I agree that the H family seems like the best lead we have had so far. I personally haven't had time to research the family, but I've seen some pretty convincing work that others have done. As somebody else mentioned we can't post the pictures here, but there are some FB pages that are dedicated to FLEK. Also it's against the TOS to mention PM's to other people in the discussion.

 

[Gardener1850]

Great work, Gardner.

Please keep in mind that the church may have changed the name and continued most everything else. There was some denominational upheaval around that time, the Disciples of Christ and Congregational denominations merged, the RLDS Reorganized Church of Latter Day Saints changed their name to Community of Christ as examples.

Our culture changed, some churches did lock the doors & sell the building, others worked at change.

Love your logic, for sure, love it!

Thanks! It does seem that most the churches mentioned in this case (from the ones Lori claims to have attended or worked for to the one where she met her husband) are Baptist but don't have Baptist in the title--so mostly independent Baptist or non-denominational/Reformed Churches practicing Baptism by immersion. Which leads me to wonder if that was the religion she grew up in. Most Baptists have a testimony of how they came to faith but she refused to share the smallest details of her past life! So I wonder what she shared if anything about her faith? Many Baptist churches won't let you have membership unless you have a specific testimony. Although she could easily have just attended for a few years and not joined. But if she was not going to engage, why go? Habit from her past life? Actual faith? A feeling like she needed to atone for something? Why? If nothing else, she chose to be consistent in choosing churches to associate with. I just can't stop thinking about this case!

 

[ClaireNC]

(respectfully snipped by me)

Bringing this idea over from the Ben Perkins discussion... Looking at her striped shirt in the Idaho ID and putting together that Perkins is also the name of a chain diner, there was speculation that maybe a lead could be found in looking at vintage uniforms. I don't know how far anyone else looked, but I looked pretty extensively and didn't have any luck. McDonalds tops were close, but the pattern of the stripes were off.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/c5/f6/40/c5f6404fb2284622744e69622a5950c6.jpg

I know I've mentioned this before, but I had a shirt just like that back in the late 1980's. The stripes, teal color and style were popular at the time. My daughter was born in 1987 and there are pictures of me wearing it when she was a baby. I was in my late 20's at the time and I think FLEK was about my age, which is older than she claimed to be.

 

[Gardener1850]

Welcome Gardener! Great to have some new eyes on the case. Yes we did have a copy of the college loan application. I think it's posted in the Media section of the forum. I agree that we don't know if she ever actually attended college, but we do know that she had college loans. From my experience, college loans are not like other loans that just give you the cash to use as you want. They generally pay the tuition directly to the college. So she wouldn't be able to use that money to live off of.

If she was living off campus and attending college part time, it is very possible that she never really interacted with other students. She was such a private person she probably never had any roommates. If she wasn't some type of outstanding student, it's likely that her teachers just forgot about her. College professors have a lot of students come through their doors each day and often don't remember their students years later.

I also think that she was older than she claimed.

Thanks ClareNC! I'm not sure if things have changed but when I went to college in the 1990's I took out student loans that merely gave me a lump sum each semester for tuition/books/living expenses. I had to physically go pay my tuition from that amount within days of getting it in my checking account. I had very little left over but it was enough to pay my rent (in the dorms or with several roommates in an apt) and buy food. I worked a part time minimum wage job just for pocket money for anything else fun I wanted to do. I wasn't raking in the dough but I was living pretty well in college. Now, I do recall there was a deadline and if I didn't pay the tuition by that time I was dropped from classes and could end up in big trouble--I would still have to pay back the loan but right away or else it would default for my not being in school. I don't know if FLEK found some loophole around actually paying tuition without sending up red flags or if in reality she only took one semester, pocketed the money and that's why she had to file for bankruptcy. Do we know how much in student loans she actually racked up?

I guess it wouldn't surprise me too much if she was not remembered by her teachers but how did she get away with never taking a class that required working on a group project or doing individual presentations? Particularly in business school? I went to college roughly 20 years ago and I still remember the names of most of the people I had to do group projects with--in fact anyone who was older/nontraditional student such as Lori stand out in my memory all the more because they had a past employment history or interesting reasons for returning to school and were not just another student my age. And I attended a larger state university, not some small private school. What are the chances of not one person remembering her? Maybe I just have a fantastic memory for people? IDK.

 

[Fukiyama]

From my experience, college loans are not like other loans that just give you the cash to use as you want. They generally pay the tuition directly to the college. So she wouldn't be able to use that money to live off of.

My experience was quite different attending a large Midwestern research university. I got a check in the mail at the beginning of each semester and then paid my university myself as needed. Just thought I'd throw that out as it's not uniform. If I remember right, the university reported back on if I was enrolled or not.

 

[Gardener1850]

Hi all, I have never posted here before today, but I think I have read about 95% of what has been written on this site and elsewhere online. I became aware of this story when it was posted by The Seattle Times and I have been following it intermittently ever since. I have been favorably impressed by this group, so I thought I would risk chiming in!
So! I guess I will just dive right in. It seems that perhaps the most solid lead was generated by BST's father when he pointed further inquiries toward the Hwdr family. I've been digging in that direction, and in the process amassed a collection of photos of family members-- most of the people who have been mentioned thus far as well as some big group shots. I have pieced together many of the relationships but not all-- it is a big family. I immediately took note of two men, who to my eye, resemble FLEK. At first I thought they were unrelated, but I eventually discovered that they are, in fact, Hwdrs. If the theory that FLEK is the daughter of the Hwdr matriarch, then they may be her brothers. I am nearly positive the photos aren't fair game to post here, but is it okay to share them privately to anyone who is interested? If anyone is interested? Or maybe they are already out there and common knowledge? At any rate, it would take me a few days or a week max to format them so that they would make sense to anyone but me. I tried to write a longer post twice, but got timed out and lost everything. So maybe I will just make a few posts.

Welcome OBrunhilde!

I admittedly have not done much digging into the BST family or even looked at that other family. I was under the impression the T's had been ruled out from DNA evidence but if that's not the case, I wonder why? I would be interested in your summary when you have time to type it up. Thanks!

 

[ClaireNC]

My experience was quite different attending a large Midwestern research university. I got a check in the mail at the beginning of each semester and then paid my university myself as needed. Just thought I'd throw that out as it's not uniform. If I remember right, the university reported back on if I was enrolled or not.

Looks like different lenders do things differently, my experience was from a long time ago and it might have been some special type of loan. The key though is that the university reported back on if you were enrolled. If not they would have defaulted. If I remember correctly, I think FLEK took out the loan in the early 1990's and filed for bankruptcy in the late 1990's. If she had defaulted on the loans by not paying her tuition, the bank would have been after her soon after she took out the loan, not years later.

 

[Gardener1850]

I know I've mentioned this before, but I had a shirt just like that back in the late 1980's. The stripes, teal color and style were popular at the time. My daughter was born in 1987 and there are pictures of me wearing it when she was a baby. I was in my late 20's at the time and I think FLEK was about my age, which is older than she claimed to be.

Yep, I had the striped, button up shirts too, in hunter green and teal. Anyone who didn't live though the 80's should google the 80's striped shirts and you will see a ton of them! So funny, my younger self would have been mortified if I was accused of wearing a waitress or fast food uniform (though clearly there were some striped uniforms like that out there). I was wearing the latest fashion!

 

[Gardener1850]

Looks like different lenders do things differently, my experience was from a long time ago and it might have been some special type of loan. The key though is that the university reported back on if you were enrolled. If not they would have defaulted. If I remember correctly, I think FLEK took out the loan in the early 1990's and filed for bankruptcy in the late 1990's. If she had defaulted on the loans by not paying her tuition, the bank would have been after her soon after she took out the loan, not years later.

This is good point. I do wonder though, if she kept changing her address, how long could she avoid paying her loans? It would eventually go to collections and then the collections people would have to track her down. If she had another identity that she was legally working under during that time it might have been very difficult to find her, IMO.