TX - Terri 'Missy' Bevers, 45, killed in church/suspect in SWAT gear, 18 Apr 2016 #37

[ezrah]

Welcome back! Cannot wait to read your observations!

Interestingly enough, I was playing with my smart phone earlier, and I discovered you can schedule messages. I'm sure you were all aware of this, but it is something I have wondered about since BB told us that MB texted him she loved him every day. . .

Just how weird would it be to schedule such a message from your Significant Other to yourself without their knowledge? Would you do this to make your spouse looked like he/she loved you or would you do it so you could show someone and say see he/she loves me" and have people think it's an automated message and that's not love.

I know this is off the subject we are discussing at the moment with the perp's height, but I am curious as to how anyone might feel about automated messages of love to a Darling Husband (DH) or a Darling Wife (DW).

So you are saying spouse 1 sets up an automated msg to spouse 1 but makes it appear to be from spouse 2? I'm not sure if I have that right. A few things of note here in this case are when BB speaks of the msg he got from MB saying she loved him etc I noticed that he hesitates, turns his head away and then says that phrase. To me it looked as if what he was remembering was painful OR he wished he had not started that phrase but had to finish it. It's always stuck with me. The other point is in relation to automated postings. BB seemed to be having religious posts from an app automatically posted to his FB after MBs death.


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[Bootsctr]

So you are saying spouse 1 sets up an automated msg to spouse 1 but makes it appear to be from spouse 2? I'm not sure if I have that right. A few things of note here in this case are when BB speaks of the msg he got from MB saying she loved him etc I noticed that he hesitates, turns his head away and then says that phrase. To me it looked as if what he was remembering was painful OR he wished he had not started that phrase but had to finish it. It's always stuck with me. The other point is in relation to automated postings. BB seemed to be having religious posts from an app automatically posted to his FB after MBs death.


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Yes, I do remember. He must be tech savvy! (or at least thinks he is) And, yes, spouse 1 to spouse 1...

 

[Oregonmama]

Yes, I do remember. He must be tech savvy! (or at least thinks he is) And, yes, spouse 1 to spouse 1...

I wondered about this. My teen awhile back hacked my fb acct and posted stuff and ppl assumed it was from me until they figured it out. This topic is a good conversation in this case and it opens more doors.

 

[Mistree]

Yes, I do remember. He must be tech savvy! (or at least thinks he is) And, yes, spouse 1 to spouse 1...

Could posting a picture also be done this way?
Like schedule it to post on FB at a certain time or day?

 

[KayBe]

Could posting a picture also be done this way?
Like schedule it to post on FB at a certain time or day?

Yes. https://m.facebook.com/help/389849807718635

 

[janesmith787]

For the record....the Bible posts weren't automated. Life.Church in OKC created that app and I use it daily, you have to choose to share those posts. Jmo

 

[Razz]

Yes, I do remember. He must be tech savvy! (or at least thinks he is) And, yes, spouse 1 to spouse 1...

Well, I was going to summarize the three or was it 4 interviews I listened to. But I am really bothered by a few things.

In the 20 min interview on his front yard he mentioned that everyday for the past 10 months he received an "I love you, honey" text from MB.

Later in the interview, BB added that they communicated their love for each other every day.

I take it he's talking about MB.

But, if she was having some sexting talk with CW, how did he know that? Did he snoop on her phone?

It almost strikes me as being morally derelict if she's texting him everyday, "I love you" and both are
daily communicating their love for each other while she's sexting with another man and he (bb) knows about it.

The timing of her alleged affair with KC possibly coincided with WH's
husband's death. And that would have been approximately 2 years ago? IDK. The timing would be interesting to look at.

It worries me that while he's enroute to his fishing trip but arrived later than expected, he gets an innocuous FB quote from WH, who is not his wife, around 7pm on his FB saying, "Hope you made it".

This makes me think she may have been worried that he hadn't arrived when he said he was supposed to.
That also makes me think she knew about his trip and when he was supposed to arrive.
But all was well when he replied, to no one in particular, that the flight was a long one and he made it in around 7:30.

He then told reporters he had called MB at around 7:30pm and again around 9 when she was half asleep.

Now I realize that men and women can be friends. But why is WH
"contacting" him at 7:00 via FB to make sure he'd made it. I am sorry but that really bothers me. Why is she making sure he made it? A wife or a mother should be doing that but another woman (even a friend)? I don't like it.

And I'd really like to know how and why WH's initials made it on to that search warrant. What prompted police to do that?

Something isn't right with the "Lovey-dovey" scenario BB presents.

So not to appear gender biased, it worries me that MB was having private conversations with CW while texting her husband everyday with "I love you, honey". That is dishonesty to the max. Or so it appears.

I wonder if the 2 older B. girls were ever interviewed.

All of the above is speculation except for......something wasn't right in Midlothian.




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[ezrah]

For the record....the Bible posts weren't automated. Life.Church in OKC created that app and I use it daily, you have to choose to share those posts. Jmo

So you are familiar w those posts. The app provides a scripture daily and he could choose to share it on FB? If I have that correct then he wasn't choosing specific verses on his own but just sharing the one provided through the app.



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[WannaBDetective]

Well, I was going to summarize the three or was it 4 interviews I listened to. But I am really bothered by a few things.

In the 20 min interview on his front yard he mentioned that everyday for the past 10 months he received an "I love you, honey" text from MB.

Later in the interview, BB added that they communicated their love for each other every day.

I take it he's talking about MB.

But, if she was having some sexting talk with CW, how did he know that? Did he snoop on her phone?

It almost strikes me as being morally derelict if she's texting him everyday, "I love you" and both are
daily communicating their love for each other while she's sexting with another man and he (bb) knows about it.

The timing of her alleged affair with KC possibly coincided with WH's
husband's death. And that would have been approximately 2 years ago? IDK. The timing would be interesting to look at.

It worries me that while he's enroute to his fishing trip but arrived later than expected, he gets an innocuous FB quote from WH, who is not his wife, around 7pm on his FB saying, "Hope you made it".

This makes me think she may have been worried that he hadn't arrived when he said he was supposed to.
That also makes me think she knew about his trip and when he was supposed to arrive.
But all was well when he replied, to no one in particular, that the flight was a long one and he made it in around 7:30.

He then told reporters he had called MB at around 7:30pm and again around 9 when she was half asleep.

Now I realize that men and women can be friends. But why is WH
"contacting" him at 7:00 via FB to make sure he'd made it. I am sorry but that really bothers me. Why is she making sure he made it? A wife or a mother should be doing that but another woman (even a friend)? I don't like it.

And I'd really like to know how and why WH's initials made it on to that search warrant. What prompted police to do that?

Something isn't right with the "Lovey-dovey" scenario BB presents.

So not to appear gender biased, it worries me that MB was having private conversations with CW while texting her husband everyday with "I love you, honey". That is dishonesty to the max. Or so it appears.

I wonder if the 2 older B. girls were ever interviewed.

All of the above is speculation except for......something wasn't right in Midlothian.




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Razzing.
It sometimes does help to step away for a while and review something you might have been in the middle of, and not see the forest because of the trees. I appreciate your observations.

I’m very much with you on several counts.

To text your spouse sweet I Love You’s while sexting (and setting up “assignations&#8221 withother men is pretty messed up. Sorry to sound judgmental but nothing good can come out of that.

Is it worse that he knew about it? Hmmm. Interesting question. How did he know about it? Your suggestion is that he snooped on her phone. Very possible. With a recent history of philandering (per KC), I could see him doing that (not condoning it; but he might be wary). Call me old fashioned but I think both spouses should have all each other’s passwords. It provides a layer of accountability and protection in a relationship. Being transparent strengthens relationships, hiding things from each other weakens them.

When (and how) did he find out about CW? That’s a question I’d like to know. And how many people knew about it. Who did he tell;and who would they tell. I’m pretty sure LE would have fleshed that out.
You almost (but not quite) make the insinuation that there might be some reciprocating affairs(KC and WH). Does a retaliatory extrarelationship ever happen? All the time.

I’m with you,having one eye-open on what’s going on, communication-wise between BB and WH. Yes, that might not be an innocuous post. That may be one of the triggers ofa search warrant. I don’t like it either, and would want to know more.

My take away from all this, from early on, is that there were multiple extra-marital relationships. And we can argue till the cows come home if that was BB/MB: 1/2, 0/2, 1/3, or whatever. LE probably knows quite a bit. But I’ve always believed that we will find that the motive (either directly or indirectly, real or perceived) very likely lies therein.

 

[Jethro4WS]

Well, I was going to summarize the three or was it 4 interviews I listened to. But I am really bothered by a few things.

In the 20 min interview on his front yard he mentioned that everyday for the past 10 months he received an "I love you, honey" text from MB.

Later in the interview, BB added that they communicated their love for each other every day.

I take it he's talking about MB.

But, if she was having some sexting talk with CW, how did he know that? Did he snoop on her phone?

It almost strikes me as being morally derelict if she's texting him everyday, "I love you" and both are
daily communicating their love for each other while she's sexting with another man and he (bb) knows about it.

The timing of her alleged affair with KC possibly coincided with WH's
husband's death. And that would have been approximately 2 years ago? IDK. The timing would be interesting to look at.

It worries me that while he's enroute to his fishing trip but arrived later than expected, he gets an innocuous FB quote from WH, who is not his wife, around 7pm on his FB saying, "Hope you made it".

This makes me think she may have been worried that he hadn't arrived when he said he was supposed to.
That also makes me think she knew about his trip and when he was supposed to arrive.
But all was well when he replied, to no one in particular, that the flight was a long one and he made it in around 7:30.

He then told reporters he had called MB at around 7:30pm and again around 9 when she was half asleep.

Now I realize that men and women can be friends. But why is WH
"contacting" him at 7:00 via FB to make sure he'd made it. I am sorry but that really bothers me. Why is she making sure he made it? A wife or a mother should be doing that but another woman (even a friend)? I don't like it.

And I'd really like to know how and why WH's initials made it on to that search warrant. What prompted police to do that?

Something isn't right with the "Lovey-dovey" scenario BB presents.

So not to appear gender biased, it worries me that MB was having private conversations with CW while texting her husband everyday with "I love you, honey". That is dishonesty to the max. Or so it appears.

I wonder if the 2 older B. girls were ever interviewed.

All of the above is speculation except for......something wasn't right in Midlothian.




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All of the numbers on that search warrant were on there specifically because Missy had been in contact with those numbers and that the nature of those conversations - which only could have come from text messages/e-mail or recovered text messages/e-mail from Missy's iPhone/iPad - was of interest to MPD. That is how that warrant is specified. At the time that ATT warrant was prepared they only would have had MB's devices and both of BB's phones and the warrant does not specify that BB was in contact with those numbers it only specifies the decedent (Missy).

As far as if BB knew, prior to Missy's murder, that she was in contact with CW is an open question. MPD would have known prior to doing the interview the day after the murder about the contact with CW just from what was recovered from her iPhone. It is possible he could have known from the iPad if it were at home, for example, while Missy was out and about elsewhere using her iPhone because there is a setting that will sync the two devices so that if a message comes to the iPhone it also goes to the iPad. He could have known from her Facebook. Someone obviously was in there before it went legacy. But it is also possible that one of Missy's friends knew and told BB either before her murder or after her murder but before his interview with MPD.

My best guess is that the earliest he could have learned about CW was after he went out and got her that stereo system for her truck. BB hadn't struck me as a door mat. Maybe he is and I am wrong about him. But as of now I can't imagine him going out and doing something nice like that if this is her second rodeo, maybe with the first, but not the second. Regardless, he brought it up in the Tuesday MPD interview, and I am sure MPD was waiting to see if he knew about it or if he would lie about knowing of it.

I know I would surely like to know when BB found out and who, if anyone, he told about it. I, too, wonder whether the older girls were interviewed. The kids would have been aware of crap going on in the household, maybe not the details or even the specific issue but they would have been well aware of something going on between the parents.

 

[Cannonball3804]

Razzing.
It sometimes does help to step away for a while and review something you might have been in the middle of, and not see the forest because of the trees. I appreciate your observations.

I’m very much with you on several counts.

To text your spouse sweet I Love You’s while sexting (and setting up “assignations”) withother men is pretty messed up. Sorry to sound judgmental but nothing good can come out of that.

Is it worse that he knew about it? Hmmm. Interesting question. How did he know about it? Your suggestion is that he snooped on her phone. Very possible. With a recent history of philandering (per KC), I could see him doing that (not condoning it; but he might be wary). Call me old fashioned but I think both spouses should have all each other’s passwords. It provides a layer of accountability and protection in a relationship. Being transparent strengthens relationships, hiding things from each other weakens them.

When (and how) did he find out about CW? That’s a question I’d like to know. And how many people knew about it. Who did he tell;and who would they tell. I’m pretty sure LE would have fleshed that out.
You almost (but not quite) make the insinuation that there might be some reciprocating affairs(KC and WH). Does a retaliatory extrarelationship ever happen? All the time.

I’m with you,having one eye-open on what’s going on, communication-wise between BB and WH. Yes, that might not be an innocuous post. That may be one of the triggers ofa search warrant. I don’t like it either, and would want to know more.

My take away from all this, from early on, is that there were multiple extra-marital relationships. And we can argue till the cows come home if that was BB/MB: 1/2, 0/2, 1/3, or whatever. LE probably knows quite a bit. But I’ve always believed that we will find that the motive (either directly or indirectly, real or perceived) very likely lies therein.

An affair is, by definition, duplicitous. If you're having a secret love affair, of course you're going to work hard to make things with your spouse appear good. To do otherwise, well, you might as well carry a sign around your neck saying, "Everything is not as it appears and you had better start digging."

So to say that MB's texting I love you to BB while sexting or meeting men on the side is "messed up" - well, an affair is messed up to begin with.

But there is a big assumption we are all making here that may or may not be true. We assume that BB did not approve of MB's dalliances.

There are some men who are turned on by their wife flirting or chatting nasty online. They may stop short of it becoming physical (and we don't have confirmation that MB's went that far). So the affairs being motive for BB to kill her is valid only if BB didn't approve of what she was doing.

One other thing. MB had a hysterectomy the summer before she died, as confirmed on her FB at the time. She praised BB for being there with her and taking care of her. I'd like to know what led to the procedure. Was she having physical problems, emotional ones, both, or neither?

Perhaps she wanted the hysterectomy because her emotions/anger/depression had been out of kilter and BB like most men wanted to blame it on the hormones. Or maybe, if she was having physical affairs, a hysterectomy would eliminate the chance of pregnancy and she would be free to have unprotected sex.

Another scenario is that her libido had really been strong as she got healthy, and she channeled it into an affair, and BB found out and once they reconciled, she thought a hysterectomy might reduce her sex drive and kill the allure of an affair.

 

[Razz]

An affair is, by definition, duplicitous. If you're having a secret love affair, of course you're going to work hard to make things with your spouse appear good. To do otherwise, well, you might as well carry a sign around your neck saying, "Everything is not as it appears and you had better start digging."

So to say that MB's texting I love you to BB while sexting or meeting men on the side is "messed up" - well, an affair is messed up to begin with.

But there is a big assumption we are all making here that may or may not be true. We assume that BB did not approve of MB's dalliances.

There are some men who are turned on by their wife flirting or chatting nasty online. They may stop short of it becoming physical (and we don't have confirmation that MB's went that far). So the affairs being motive for BB to kill her is valid only if BB didn't approve of what she was doing.

One other thing. MB had a hysterectomy the summer before she died, as confirmed on her FB at the time. She praised BB for being there with her and taking care of her. I'd like to know what led to the procedure. Was she having physical problems, emotional ones, both, or neither?

Perhaps she wanted the hysterectomy because her emotions/anger/depression had been out of kilter and BB like most men wanted to blame it on the hormones. Or maybe, if she was having physical affairs, a hysterectomy would eliminate the chance of pregnancy and she would be free to have unprotected sex.

Another scenario is that her libido had really been strong as she got healthy, and she channeled it into an affair, and BB found out and once they reconciled, she thought a hysterectomy might reduce her sex drive and kill the allure of an affair.

I think her Dr. surely would have said, "MB, you need a hysterectomy". I don't believe those operations are ones you can go in and say, "I'd like a hysterectomy, please". (You know, so I can have all the sex I want w/out worrying about pregnancy and other female issues). I mean, if nothing else, insurance isn't going to pay w/out a good reason.

And the other thing, if sex was going on with one or both partners,
wouldn't you think they'd worry about AIDS or STDs? No such thing as worry free sex unless you are in a longterm relationship where trust is involved.

I often wondered what was in the patch she always wore. Could there have been testosterone in those? But....you'd have to have a Dr's prescription for that. I'd like to know the ingredients that were in those. Does anyone know?

I didn't know Missy but it's hard to imagine she was duplicitous to the degree she's being accused of. And yes, maybe they had an "open arrangement" re their marriage.
But what message does that send to the kids? Things just don't jive.

And I think many of the friends of MB are respecting LE's advice and or admonitions about talking about the case which is why we're not hearing squat from them. (Or so I'd like to think).

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[Cannonball3804]

...I often wondered what was in the patch she always wore. Could there have been testosterone in those? But....you'd have to have a Dr's prescription for that. I'd like to know the ingredients that were in those. Does anyone know?...

Since she sold Thrive, I'm pretty sure it was the Thrive patch. Here is info about the ingredients:

https://supplement-geek.com/thrive-patch-review/

 

[Razz]

All of the numbers on that search warrant were on there specifically because Missy had been in contact with those numbers and that the nature of those conversations - which only could have come from text messages/e-mail or recovered text messages/e-mail from Missy's iPhone/iPad - was of interest to MPD. That is how that warrant is specified. At the time that ATT warrant was prepared they only would have had MB's devices and both of BB's phones and the warrant does not specify that BB was in contact with those numbers it only specifies the decedent (Missy).

As far as if BB knew, prior to Missy's murder, that she was in contact with CW is an open question. MPD would have known prior to doing the interview the day after the murder about the contact with CW just from what was recovered from her iPhone. It is possible he could have known from the iPad if it were at home, for example, while Missy was out and about elsewhere using her iPhone because there is a setting that will sync the two devices so that if a message comes to the iPhone it also goes to the iPad. He could have known from her Facebook. Someone obviously was in there before it went legacy. But it is also possible that one of Missy's friends knew and told BB either before her murder or after her murder but before his interview with MPD.

My best guess is that the earliest he could have learned about CW was after he went out and got her that stereo system for her truck. BB hadn't struck me as a door mat. Maybe he is and I am wrong about him. But as of now I can't imagine him going out and doing something nice like that if this is her second rodeo, maybe with the first, but not the second. Regardless, he brought it up in the Tuesday MPD interview, and I am sure MPD was waiting to see if he knew about it or if he would lie about knowing of it.

I know I would surely like to know when BB found out and who, if anyone, he told about it. I, too, wonder whether the older girls were interviewed. The kids would have been aware of crap going on in the household, maybe not the details or even the specific issue but they would have been well aware of something going on between the parents.

But did police know about the imbedded messaging through Linked In between CW and MB?

I'm thinking police wrote another warrant specifically to Linked-in after the AT&T warrants.
Were they also trying to determine
the author of the creepy messages?

I am curious about any communication between WH and MB. It had to be a doosie or they wouldn't have included her # on the SW or maybe BB told police about WH as a possible suspect too. IDK

I don't think BB was a doormat either. After listening to his interviews, I believe he's smarter than most outsiders give him credit for. But, if he was part of the plot, I think it was designed to be as close to how how he's depicting it so he won't say the wrong thing or mess up as he does have a tendency to talk.

I wasn't aware of BB updating MB's
sound system in her truck. I don't recall hearing that in any of his interviews. But, a good sound system strikes me as more of a guy thing than a woman thing. Why would she have wanted her sound system updated? Or is it because he wanted it updated? Either way, it paid off eventually as the last I saw, he was driving her truck. 😲 Sorry, that's mean spirited but I'd like a little time before someone, even my husband, started to drive my car around.


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[SteveS]

I think her Dr. surely would have said, "MB, you need a hysterectomy". I don't believe those operations are ones you can go in and say, "I'd like a hysterectomy, please". (You know, so I can have all the sex I want w/out worrying about pregnancy and other female issues). I mean, if nothing else, insurance isn't going to pay w/out a good reason.k

Nah. A hysterectomy is frequently an elective surgery, and reimbursed by insurance. Some of the rationale include her being a certain age and wanting to ensure no more kids, a cautionary step to help reduce the risk of certain cancers in those areas, menopausal issues, and more. And they are done often enough that getting a doctor to advise in favor, and insurance to pay, should be quite easy for the woman who wants to have one.

As for which came first, between the hysterectomy and the affair(s), we don't know but probably her family does. As for whether there was any cause-effect between the hysterectomy and the affair(s), and if so which caused which, only MB could say for sure. A linkage of SOME sort is certainly possible, in one direction or the opposite, but the speculation can go about anywhere and can't be resolved since MB will never be able to tell us.

 

[Razz]

A hysterectomy is frequently an elective surgery. Some of the rationale include her being a certain age and wanting to ensure no more kids, a cautionary step to help reduce the risk of certain cancers in those areas, menopausal issues, and more. Getting a doctor to advise in favor, and get insurance to pay, is probably quite easy for the woman who wants to have one.

As for which came first, between the hysterectomy and the affair(s), we don't know but probably her family does. As for whether there was any cause-effect between the hysterectomy and the affair(s), and if so which caused which, only MB could say for sure. A linkage of SOME sort is certainly possible, in one direction or the opposite, but the speculation can go about anywhere and can't be resolved since MB will never be able to tell us.

Through the 4 interviews I've listened to, I have not heard BB say anything about any transgressions he may have committed. Yet anyway. But I'll say now that until I can link it, it was never said. I am sorry and thanks for keeping me on my toes.

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[Cannonball3804]

Nah. A hysterectomy is frequently an elective surgery, and reimbursed by insurance. Some of the rationale include her being a certain age and wanting to ensure no more kids, a cautionary step to help reduce the risk of certain cancers in those areas, menopausal issues, and more. And they are done often enough that getting a doctor to advise in favor, and insurance to pay, should be quite easy for the woman who wants to have one.

As for which came first, between the hysterectomy and the affair(s), we don't know but probably her family does. As for whether there was any cause-effect between the hysterectomy and the affair(s), and if so which caused which, only MB could say for sure. A linkage of SOME sort is certainly possible, in one direction or the opposite, but the speculation can go about anywhere and can't be resolved since MB will never be able to tell us.

Yes, hysterectomies are the second most common procedure. You can even have it done lathroscopically.

As far as timeline between affair and the procedure - BB's sister had stated the affair was a year and a half prior. If she is correct about that, it would have been toward the end of 2014. I believe that also coincides with her father dying.

The hysterectomy was early June of 2015, 10 months before her murder. That 10 months coincides with the timeframe in which BB said he started getting Daily I love you's from MB. He didn't have to put a frame of reference on it but he did - every day for the past 10 months, MB texted me Daily that she loved me.

So clearly that early June 2015 timeframe is a watershed moment for him. It's like he counts back to that time as the beginning of something - perhaps the renewal of their commitment to one another?

I would add that they went on a family vacation later that summer. Also another sign pointing to them working on their marriage.

 

[Jethro4WS]

I think her Dr. surely would have said, "MB, you need a hysterectomy". I don't believe those operations are ones you can go in and say, "I'd like a hysterectomy, please". (You know, so I can have all the sex I want w/out worrying about pregnancy and other female issues). I mean, if nothing else, insurance isn't going to pay w/out a good reason.

And the other thing, if sex was going on with one or both partners,
wouldn't you think they'd worry about AIDS or STDs? No such thing as worry free sex unless you are in a longterm relationship where trust is involved.

I often wondered what was in the patch she always wore. Could there have been testosterone in those? But....you'd have to have a Dr's prescription for that. I'd like to know the ingredients that were in those. Does anyone know?

I didn't know Missy but it's hard to imagine she was duplicitous to the degree she's being accused of. And yes, maybe they had an "open arrangement" re their marriage.
But what message does that send to the kids? Things just don't jive.

And I think many of the friends of MB are respecting LE's advice and or admonitions about talking about the case which is why we're not hearing squat from them. (Or so I'd like to think).

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If you do any research into the topic of infidelity you will find that it is extremely rare that condoms are ever used and it is for that reason that it is strongly recommended that testing for STIs are done when an affair is discovered. Because most of the time symptoms aren't apparent, in many cases 70% of the time and even less so in women, STIs can be passed between affair partners and then to their respective spouses and even back again. Often, if two people in an affair discover an STI they get treatment and never inform their spouses who may also be infected - there is no requirement under the law to inform the spouse of a person with an STI unless it is HIV/AIDS. Even things as dangerous as syphillis do not have mandatory spousal reporting requirements anymore. And HIPAA laws won't even allow a spouse to find out if their cheating spouse had ever been treated for an STI.

Since there is a real difference between what married women do when they are in affairs with respect to their spouse - far more often than not they cut back the frequency or the time between sex with their partners or cut it off entirely the risk of spreading STI in that direction is not as high. On the other hand when it comes to married men involved in an affair they almost always have no change in their sex life with their spouse at all - no matter what they say to their affair partner it is almost surely a lie - and thus the risk of STI spread is greater in that direction and the risk of re-infection especially if the married man's spouse shows no symptoms.

Many times no birth control is used at all, not even the pill. It is estimated that 10% of the married men out there at any given time are raising a kid that isn't biologically theirs and they don't know that at all. So, it is never wise to think that people involved in affairs think or even care about such consequences when they are carrying on their escapades. It is a fantasy world of rainbows and unicorns where even when the unicorns fart it smells like bubble gum and cotton candy.

It is rather chilling to know that people will endanger their partners lives like that but they do almost all of the time without giving it a second thought. So beware of projecting any thoughts that people involved in affairs are thinking about anything, let alone about how it could affect, their health, their spouse's health, etc. Considering that even in the best case, if the affair partners leave spouses and think they are really in love and will live happily ever after together, 95% end in disaster.

All of the risk, all of the damage, not just to their kids, not just to their spouse, but even to themselves is undertaken for - well, nothing but misery, pain, and the destruction of two households not to mention the effects to other relationships with family, in-laws, friends, co-workers, etc.

It is beyond me why people would affirmatively choose such paths (it is not an accident, or a mistake) when so many other options are available yet that is what they do.

 

[SteveS]

"Why would BB say on national television that not a day went by without the other professing their love for each other?"

Keep in mind that from BB's perspective, it may have been felt as questions/comments on the death of a wife, not a murder. And for anyone who loses a loved one unexpectedly and/or young (which I have, so can speak from experience), you tend to want to put a positive on that one you lost, and talk about the relationship and the love and how much they mattered, while trying to downplay any negatives. It's what you do. I don't ignore the fact that BB was human in all of this and perhaps doing no different than what we all would do. Before condemning, walk a mile in my shoes, as they say.

 

[WannaBDetective]

Hmmmm...razzing. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

You were speaking of recent philandering per KC. So did KC
admit to an affair or do you mean recent philandering with KC per BB?

I too am old fashioned but to ask for my spouse's passwords to be transparent is like saying, "I don't trust you. Here's my passwords and I want yours so we can check up on each other". That is not a relationship I would ever want to
be in. Either you trust me or you don't. I mean, why be in a marriage or a relationship if I or my significant other feels the need to check up on me?

Why would BB say on national television that not a day went by without the other professing their love for each other? Is that not in itself duplicitous or did that truly happen and we're all making a big deal out of "alledged affairs"?

Sorry about the almost  insinuation of suggesting WH and BB were having an affair. I have no proof. I think I'm just trying to figure out why the marriage was foundering or had foundered and that both parties (MB and BB) were both responsible for that.

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I think Razzing is good .

Sorry. Let me get my initials straight. It was KS (sister in law) that went on TV and talked about a prior indiscretion. We don't know any details on it.

On social media, BB confirmed there is a lead detective working on it daily and FBI is still assisting; so those are good things. He still holds out hope that the perp will have their conscience moved and turn themselves in. I was kinda curious how common that is. I haven't heard that happening much. Surely not likely from any sort of hit or random incident. More likely someone close to the case.