She's a victim of childhood SA so her brain would be wired differently. Although 2 friends of mine suffered the most awful SA, friend 1 (from 5 to 16), and has gone on to be a wonderful mother, and is a highly qualified professional. She freely admits that she has to question her thought processes sometimes to make sure she's 'normal'. Friend 2 struggles with relationships, she's a lovely and kind person but frequently self harms and feels she's not worthy of love from anyone. Her mother used to beat her, lock her in her room for days on end and told her she was fat, ugly and worthless. Neither have hurt anyone, apart from themselves (DSH, suicide attempts).
I think to a certain extent psychological traits are influenced by your biological makeup, as well as your childhood experiences - the nature vs nurture debate.
I know through my job a lot of people who have suffered chronic abuse and neglect. The vast majority are normal people, they understand what happened to them was very wrong, and their parents were at fault. They have careers, families and are generally fantastic citizens. Others though, especially narcs can be incredibly challenging. It really is their way or no way, they lack any consideration for anyone else, and expect everyone to do their bidding. Some have been raised fine, others had terrible experiences.
Without reading her file, we'll never know.
