UK UK - Ruth Wilson, 16, Dorking, 27 Nov 1995

[Konstantin]

The Tree is not exactly derelict but has been closed and on the market since 2023. As for the bus, the service and operator has changed since 1995. Even today the buses only run every 2 hours and the last one is circa 6pm. I cannot imagine any good reason to go up there to catch a bus when there are (and would have been then) much easier alternatives.

Since Ruth planned her disappearance in quite some detail, I think she also planned that it would become known she had taken a taxi up box hill. I believe it is likely she staged a suicide there intending perhaps that the notes and the empty packets of paracetamol were found first and then the flowers delivered to her stepmother. After all, Ruth's stepmother had "replaced" her mother who died of suicide and Ruth was distressed about finding out the truth about her birth mum. All of this is my opinion only.

In reality, and this is the sort of information that, without the internet, it would be very hard for Ruth to know, taking an OD of paracetamol won't really kill you straight away but would make you very sick. I think this was staged to lash out at her parents. She was angry, distressed, disturbed -- we know that from Catherine. I think it is possible Ruth set a trail to Box Hill and she stood near the bridle path as the taxi drove away deliberately so the driver would notice that detail and report it just like he did. Then, she went somewhere else, probably in another car, that was also pre-planned. JMO.

I think it is unlikely that an adult helped Ruth do this or if an adult helped her they were not aware of
all this. But in my opinion it is likely she must have had help.

The only thing that I can't understand is if Ruth intended her running away to be permanent. I can't see she did -- I can grasp her leaving her dad, with whom she was very angry and upset, and her stepmum, who was not her biological parent -- but not her sister. That would mean putting her sister through the agony of ambiguous loss, not knowing if Ruth was alive or dead or even murdered, for all these years. Her friends too. It is quite drastic. All just my opinion.

 

[TheRockingRev]

Since Ruth planned her disappearance in quite some detail, I think she also planned that it would become known she had taken a taxi up box hill. I believe it is likely she staged a suicide there intending perhaps that the notes and the empty packets of paracetamol were found first and then the flowers delivered to her stepmother. After all, Ruth's stepmother had "replaced" her mother who died of suicide and Ruth was distressed about finding out the truth about her birth mum. All of this is my opinion only.

I agree. I'm not convinced about staging a suicide as such, I think the alcohol and pills were more symbolic, although pointing a suicide. The true meaning is probably in those notes that were left.
If anything it was just another layer, along with the taxi, to divert attention to Box Hill and away from whichever escape route she used.

In reality, and this is the sort of information that, without the internet, it would be very hard for Ruth to know, taking an OD of paracetamol won't really kill you straight away but would make you very sick. I think this was staged to lash out at her parents. She was angry, distressed, disturbed -- we know that from Catherine. I think it is possible Ruth set a trail to Box Hill and she stood near the bridle path as the taxi drove away deliberately so the driver would notice that detail and report it just like he did. Then, she went somewhere else, probably in another car, that was also pre-planned. JMO.

Exactly my thoughts. Certainly there were drivers amongst her friendship group.

I think it is unlikely that an adult helped Ruth do this or if an adult helped her they were not aware of
all this. But in my opinion it is likely she must have had help.

I think it was definitely one of her friends in the same age group as her.

The only thing that I can't understand is if Ruth intended her running away to be permanent. I can't see she did -- I can grasp her leaving her dad, with whom she was very angry and upset, and her stepmum, who was not her biological parent -- but not her sister. That would mean putting her sister through the agony of ambiguous loss, not knowing if Ruth was alive or dead or even murdered, for all these years. Her friends too. It is quite drastic. All just my opinion.

Depending though if her sister did know the truth. As far as I'm aware, she has never made any statement or appeal. Her friends could quite easily know too (at least some of them) and are still hiding the facts. IMO it explains why despite her parents stating that it was Ruth in the shop, her friends denied it - almost if they were keeping the secret they were sworn too.
What is also interesting is the one chap who allegedly had money thrown at him by the father to reveal the truth of where Ruth went.

 

[Konstantin]

What is also interesting is the one chap who allegedly had money thrown at him by the father to reveal the truth of where Ruth went.

Yes, that wasn't her ex boyfriend but the person whose home she had run away to before. I think he mentioned this in a very old facebook group. That her dad thought she had gone there again and in desperation offered him money to tell him.

Ruth worked in a music shop which was not a place that sold records but sold sheet music and instruments so she would have come into contact with others there and possibly made friends including with older people. An older person helping a teenage girl run away and pull a stunt like a fake suicide would ring alarm bells to me as someone really potentially taking advantage of a vulnerable child. The whole thing does seem very adolescent to me, the flowers, the note, the packets of pills (if that was even Ruth). It is a cry for attention and help. But then she never came back. She must have had somewhere to go to, then. And even if not initially, someONE to go to.

 

[TheRockingRev]

Yes, that wasn't her ex boyfriend but the person whose home she had run away to before. I think he mentioned this in a very old facebook group. That her dad thought she had gone there again and in desperation offered him money to tell him.

Ruth worked in a music shop which was not a place that sold records but sold sheet music and instruments so she would have come into contact with others there and possibly made friends including with older people. An older person helping a teenage girl run away and pull a stunt like a fake suicide would ring alarm bells to me as someone really potentially taking advantage of a vulnerable child. The whole thing does seem very adolescent to me, the flowers, the note, the packets of pills (if that was even Ruth). It is a cry for attention and help. But then she never came back. She must have had somewhere to go to, then. And even if not initially, someONE to go to.

I don't think there was an adult involved - certainly her friendship group seemed close knit and have said that there wasn't anyone like that in Ruth's life (even if they were aware of the plan and were covering up for her, I think alarm bells would've been raised by them).

Fully agree about it being very adolescent in it's nature (in a previous post I've also said about the lyrics to the song 'Flowers of Romance' almost telling the story - an angsty teen getting her inspiration from a gloomy proto-emo song all ties in IMO), but that doesn't take away the fact that Ruth was an intelligent and determined girl.

I've talked about it before, but back in 1995 London, and the outskirts, was an easy time for young people to get accommodation. Time Out, Loot and loads of the other magazines (pre-internet explosion) were full of ads for shared accommodation. There were lots and lots of house shares. Lots of London wasn't as gentrified as it is now, and there were loads of private rentals. It wasn't unusual for a bunch of young people to lodge together, and remember the bills weren't as high then.
I can recall that you pretty much answered an ad, turned up and if your face fit and you had the required cash you were in.
Ruth could've quite easily have used the weeks leading up to her disappearance securing a place in London.
At that time cash in hand work was pretty plentiful back then too - particularly in pubs and cafes of which in 1995 London was full of. It wouldn't have been hard for her to start a new life - not one full of luxury, but certainly one that was safe and reasonably comfortable. From what's been said she wasn't a girl who loved a party lifestyle or was interested in the latest fashions anyway.

There is the question about Ruth and her being featured in the news after running away. But we don't have a full-on face shot of Ruth at the time she vanished. She also had the easy get-out - cut her hair short (just like the person who was in that newsagents video) and pop some contacts in.

And of course throughout this she could've been helped by her friends, they could've been lending her money and even going to visit her too.

JMO, but I think she pulled off the perfect get-away through many months of planning.

 

[Konstantin]

There is the question about Ruth and her being featured in the news after running away. But we don't have a full-on face shot of Ruth at the time she vanished. She also had the easy get-out - cut her hair short (just like the person who was in that newsagents video) and pop some contacts in.

I don't think a couple of news stories about Ruth going missing and a photo of her in her school uniform would really bother her -- it wasn't a high profile case and Ruth looks different in all those photos of her. She looks like an ordinary young woman. No one really studies missing persons photos and scrutinises everyone they see. With shorter hair she would not look like the schoolgirl in the photo anyway.

I think it's very possible Ruth did this but not without help and it's still surprising she never went back or contacted her family. Unless she contacted her sister on the sly, who knows. But her sister was living at home for quite a while after Ruth left and it would be quite a secret to keep.

Ruth's friends or one of them did say she was a drama queen so that fits with the flowers and the angsty elements of this.