Understanding The Anthony's Parenting Style

[marla]

what seems so crazy to me is

the whole family seems to want to make HOW THEY APPEAR to the public more important than anything else...

hmmmmm... what exactly are they hiding ?


its something that would make them look hideous...
but then the question must be asked which is "how much more hideous could they look than right now?"

it must be a whopper

That's what I'm hoping for!

 

[marla]

Just wanted to say this is by far my most FAVORITE pic of the A family. Can I copy it? If it is not used in KC's trial, something will be wrong indeed....

Of course you may! :seeya:

 

[OneLostGrl]

Cindy reminds me so much of a mom that I know. She was very involved with her children but never made them take responsibility for their actions. Her son has had emotional problems since I have know him, but it was always blamed on someone else, (other kids, teachers, whoever she could blame). She never tried to get him help. Her children never had to do any chores or work part time in high school like the other kids. She always bragged to everyone what a wonderful family life they had, when it was obvious just the opposite was true. Now her son is 25, lives at home, doesn't work and is verbally abusive to his mom. According to her, it's not his fault. You could show her a picture of him doing something wrong and she would swear either it wasn't him or some else forced him to do it. I'm assuming Casey had a similar upbringing.

Sounds just like my mom! I could carry a bleeding, dying body into the house, place it in her lap and admit I am the one who did it and she would STILL choose not to accept that I did. She creates a different reality, a different me- one that fits her mold and she will not accept anything but what she has forced herself to believe is true. Granted, she knows- she just can't bare to think about it so she doesn't. You would not believe the truths my mother deny's about me, the things she let me get away with.. it's sad.

It's common for people with personality disorders to believe feelings over facts. It's a coping tool,they dissociate. They will rearrange facts, deny evidence and blame others so they can stay safely in the fantasy land they have created for themselves. These kinds of women are very sick and they cause their children much damage, the mixed signals themselves are enough to cause a child to dislike themselves.

 

[Ripley007]

Sounds just like my mom! I could carry a bleeding, dying body into the house, place it in her lap and admit I am the one who did it and she would STILL choose not to accept that I did. She creates a different reality, a different me- one that fits her mold and she will not accept anything but what she has forced herself to believe is true. Granted, she knows- she just can't bare to think about it so she doesn't. You would not believe the truths my mother deny's about me, the things she let me get away with.. it's sad.

It's common for people with personality disorders to believe feelings over facts. It's a coping tool,they dissociate. They will rearrange facts, deny evidence and blame others so they can stay safely in the fantasy land they have created for themselves. These kinds of women are very sick and they cause their children much damage, the mixed signals themselves are enough to cause a child to dislike themselves.

OLG-We need a private moment (PM)...MY mother was just the opposite. If a stranger carried a dead body to my mother, my mother would have been screaming MY name from the rooftop, convinced of MY guilt!!! Hmmm, and YOU had it bad? All I've ever wanted was unconditional love. Get the feeling you could educate me that that's not all it's cracked up to be...

 

[Vegas Bride]

CA and others took KC's LIES way too far...Cindy asks KC about ZG's physical description and KC "reminds" her mother that ZG has naturally curly hair but uses a heat straightner AND KC adds "she's the one who gave me my hair straightner, REMEMBER?" And CA meekly mumbles, Oh yeah....How many teens reading here are thinking GOD, I WISH CA was MY mother, one could pull MORE than the wool over this woman's eyes....

When you look at all the lies from Casey that the family believed, and the e-mail scam GA fell for (if that is true) I'd say this family Is United in being the most gullible family there is and are a scammers dream!

VB

 

[circe257]

This family is heavily steeped and invested in DENIAL.....about everything. They remind me a lot of a family I know. The dynamic between CA and KC esp. The mother was passive and indulgent with all 3 of her children due to the fact that her mother was controlling and authoritative beyond belief. While her kids were growing up if she disciplined them in any way, say she grounded them for example, 5 minutes later she was apologizing and letting them off the hook. No consequences for anything. I don't believe she did them any favors - as "adults" and I use that term loosely they have had run ins with the law (never their own fault) don't work, live at home and mooch of their mom for everything....meanwhile the cycle is repeating with the grandchildren. Oddly enough she doesn't understand how they turned out that way......
I get a familiar vibe from the A's. I think how they want to be seen is truly how they want to see themselves and anything that doesn't fit into that mold goes into the head in the sand category.......

 

[OneLostGrl]

OLG-We need a private moment (PM)...MY mother was just the opposite. If a stranger carried a dead body to my mother, my mother would have been screaming MY name from the rooftop, convinced of MY guilt!!! Hmmm, and YOU had it bad? All I've ever wanted was unconditional love. Get the feeling you could educate me that that's not all it's cracked up to be...

It isn't unconditional- it's all or nothing ("splitting") and you never know when it's going to switch or what is going to make them hate you, see you as their competitor. That's what makes it so difficult, that's what causes the damage.. the constant fear of what is going to happen next.


For example-

A child gets ill in the middle of the night, the mother comes and lovingly helps the child- gives medicine, changes the sheets, give the child a bath if need be and tucks the child back into bed. But then the next time the same exact thing happens and the child calls for mother, but the mother that shows up is not the same woman, this one is screaming, grabs the child up, yells that the child is "always waking me up in the middle of the night... how do you expect her to go to work if she was up half the night taking care of you When you probably aren't even sick, because you always seem to be faking this - it's like you want me to lose my job. Is that what your doing? You trying to get me fired? OMG, just go back to BED- and you are NOT staying home from school tomorrow so don't even think about asking you little faker!"

(And I firmly believe Cindy Anthony is the SAME type of woman- she opens her MOUTH and I can about smell my mother on her.. her splitting and gaslighting, how she manufactures Chaos. Her denial that is so strong and so *final* that it is better defined as dissociation (where their feelings create their facts)... I could go on but I'm sure ya get my drift LOL)

 

[OneLostGrl]

This family is heavily steeped and invested in DENIAL.....about everything. They remind me a lot of a family I know. The dynamic between CA and KC esp. The mother was passive and indulgent with all 3 of her children due to the fact that her mother was controlling and authoritative beyond belief. While her kids were growing up if she disciplined them in any way, say she grounded them for example, 5 minutes later she was apologizing and letting them off the hook. No consequences for anything. I don't believe she did them any favors - as "adults" and I use that term loosely they have had run ins with the law (never their own fault) don't work, live at home and mooch of their mom for everything....meanwhile the cycle is repeating with the grandchildren. Oddly enough she doesn't understand how they turned out that way......
I get a familiar vibe from the A's. I think how they want to be seen is truly how they want to see themselves and anything that doesn't fit into that mold goes into the head in the sand category.......

Yup, that's exactly my mom- how I grew up. Though to outsiders we got away with things, we paid in different ways. Invalidation of our feelings- our childhoods were about her not us. We got constant guilt trips, emotional incest, learned helplessness and worst of all they taught us anti-social behaviors. They didn't give us the tools we need to go out into the world and become productive members of society.

 

[Searchfortruth]

It isn't unconditional- it's all or nothing ("splitting") and you never know when it's going to switch or what is going to make them hate you, see you as their competitor. That's what makes it so difficult, that's what causes the damage.. the constant fear of what is going to happen next.


For example-

A child gets ill in the middle of the night, the mother comes and lovingly helps the child- gives medicine, changes the sheets, give the child a bath if need be and tucks the child back into bed. But then the next time the same exact thing happens and the child calls for mother, but the mother that shows up is not the same woman, this one is screaming, grabs the child up, yells that the child is "always waking me up in the middle of the night... how do you expect her to go to work if she was up half the night taking care of you When you probably aren't even sick, because you always seem to be faking this - it's like you want me to lose my job. Is that what your doing? You trying to get me fired? OMG, just go back to BED- and you are NOT staying home from school tomorrow so don't even think about asking you little faker!"

(And I firmly believe Cindy Anthony is the SAME type of woman- she opens her MOUTH and I can about smell my mother on her.. her splitting and gaslighting, how she manufactures Chaos. Her denial that is so strong and so *final* that it is better defined as dissociation (where their feelings create their facts)... I could go on but I'm sure ya get my drift LOL)

This is all so interesting, from a distance, it gives me a headache to think of all this confusion. I guess the ones who get to therapy and stay with it are in a minority. I wonder if George is still going to counseling, for some reason I have my doubts.

 

[OneLostGrl]

When you look at all the lies from Casey that the family believed, and the e-mail scam GA fell for (if that is true) I'd say this family Is United in being the most gullible family there is and are a scammers dream!

VB

No, they are just sick too!

 

[OneLostGrl]

This is all so interesting, from a distance, it gives me a headache to think of all this confusion. I guess the ones who get to therapy and stay with it are in a minority. I wonder if George is still going to counseling, for some reason I have my doubts.

Yeah, I doubt he stuck with it.. she'll have convinced him he doesn't need it.

 

[miabellamoure]

I think this is difficult. I see Cindy as Permissive Indulgent where as I see George as Authoritative which might explain some areas of their said "marital problems" ??

I agree that this is difficult as it's obvious that CA & GA don't seem to always be on the same page so, to be fair you'd have to vote separately.

I will say that I disagree that GA is Authoritative...he strikes me like a irresponsible little boy in a clean pressed dress shirt. I base that on his own comments regarding parenting, marriage, employment, investing...just to name a few.

CA seems to be (imo) the one who rules the roost in that hutch!:chicken:

If I could ever find any defense for CA personality (disorder?)...it would be because it seems for a big chunk of time, she was the "only" one keeping the family afloat in more ways than just financial...kwim?

That's enough to drive some to a disorder or two...

 

[circe257]

I will say that I disagree that GA is Authoritative...he strikes me like a irresponsible little boy in a clean pressed dress shirt. I base that on his own comments regarding parenting, marriage, employment, investing...just to name a few.

I couldn't agree with this more. He strikes me as the type of person who is very emotionally immature and allows himself to be misguided by said emotions. IMHO, I can't help but picture GA as being a whiny type of person who wants everyone he meets to like him. I don't mean anything derogatory by that and I'm thinking I lack the eloquence to convey what I'm trying to say any better, so I'll just leave it at that.

 

[seagull65]

It seems so inappropriate to speculate about anyone in the way this poll does, much less people who are facing a tragedy no one should ever have to face.

 

[mitzi]

Yes, Marla, a wonderful photo! I would have to name Cindy as Moe, though, as she's the one who goes around slapping the others and keeping them in line.

OMG Marla! I just noticed your siggie pic is changed. Awesome job! LOL! :dance:

 

[mitzi]

It isn't unconditional- it's all or nothing ("splitting") and you never know when it's going to switch or what is going to make them hate you, see you as their competitor. That's what makes it so difficult, that's what causes the damage.. the constant fear of what is going to happen next.


For example-

A child gets ill in the middle of the night, the mother comes and lovingly helps the child- gives medicine, changes the sheets, give the child a bath if need be and tucks the child back into bed. But then the next time the same exact thing happens and the child calls for mother, but the mother that shows up is not the same woman, this one is screaming, grabs the child up, yells that the child is "always waking me up in the middle of the night... how do you expect her to go to work if she was up half the night taking care of you When you probably aren't even sick, because you always seem to be faking this - it's like you want me to lose my job. Is that what your doing? You trying to get me fired? OMG, just go back to BED- and you are NOT staying home from school tomorrow so don't even think about asking you little faker!"

(And I firmly believe Cindy Anthony is the SAME type of woman- she opens her MOUTH and I can about smell my mother on her.. her splitting and gaslighting, how she manufactures Chaos. Her denial that is so strong and so *final* that it is better defined as dissociation (where their feelings create their facts)... I could go on but I'm sure ya get my drift LOL)

OLG, what is "gaslighting" again? Blonde moment. :blushing:

 

[OneLostGrl]

OLG, what is "gaslighting" again? Blonde moment. :blushing:

Manipulating another person to make them to think they are the screwed up one, that they are the one who is distorting the facts, or going crazy or lying...

 

[mitzi]

Manipulating another person to make them to think they are the screwed up one, that they are the one who is distorting the facts, or going crazy or lying...

Ahhh...now I remember, thanks OLG. :blowkiss:

 

[doogiesgirl]

It isn't unconditional- it's all or nothing ("splitting") and you never know when it's going to switch or what is going to make them hate you, see you as their competitor. That's what makes it so difficult, that's what causes the damage.. the constant fear of what is going to happen next.


For example-

A child gets ill in the middle of the night, the mother comes and lovingly helps the child- gives medicine, changes the sheets, give the child a bath if need be and tucks the child back into bed. But then the next time the same exact thing happens and the child calls for mother, but the mother that shows up is not the same woman, this one is screaming, grabs the child up, yells that the child is "always waking me up in the middle of the night... how do you expect her to go to work if she was up half the night taking care of you When you probably aren't even sick, because you always seem to be faking this - it's like you want me to lose my job. Is that what your doing? You trying to get me fired? OMG, just go back to BED- and you are NOT staying home from school tomorrow so don't even think about asking you little faker!"

(And I firmly believe Cindy Anthony is the SAME type of woman- she opens her MOUTH and I can about smell my mother on her.. her splitting and gaslighting, how she manufactures Chaos. Her denial that is so strong and so *final* that it is better defined as dissociation (where their feelings create their facts)... I could go on but I'm sure ya get my drift LOL)

This is an excellent post. I am like Ripley-my mom was the opposite, she would be thinking I'm guilty of anything and everything, would throw me under the bus in a heartbeat.

I have thought from the beginning that KC was born with the dna that made it possible to turn into an emotional monster, but that she needed "perfect storm" conditions, so to speak, to make it materialize. CA created the "perfect storm" with her emotional/psychological abuse style of parenting, GA added to it either by shrinking into submission or by his own emotional issues. I do not believe that CA should pay for KC's crimes, nor should KC's crimes be excused because she is mentally ill. It just helps me understand how someone like KC comes about. I want KC to pay for what she has done to Caylee, however I do have "an understanding" for what she must have gone thru as a child/teen having CA and GA as parents. jmho

 

[doogiesgirl]

Lee acted more creepy than creepy by "making out" with own arm and going on and on to "CMA" about all she had taught him...Dare I say, this dude looked HIDEOUS and CREEPY. Just saying...

ITA! That is one of those videos that I have the hardest time watching, because it's just so strange. Lee is just so strange. jmho