Use of "the boys" and "the girls" is contextual, esp in the American South. It usually means a group of same-sexed people who have a common functional role, usually friendship to one another and to the speaker. There is also the jab at aging when the boys are 60+ years old. William Faulkner and some Flannery O'Connor shorts will get you started.
I'm still having a problem getting my mind around what you are saying about people who are in the minority, skin color-wise, sexual orientation-wise. Do you feel the system of going about daily life should be changed by the majority to recognize the personhood of those different from themselves?? What is the marginalization you feel? I get more of an existential loneliness from what you are saying, not any heavy-handed oppression by the majority.
Help me out here, because I can almost grasp your point, but it slips away when I analyze it.
Cryto6
In the first place, Cryto, you're preachin' to the choir with Faulkner (my favorite novelist) and O'Connor (my favorite short-story writer, and her novels ain't bad neither). You can throw in Tennessee Williams (my favorite playwright) while you're at it. I got into grad school with a paper on the debt of Williams to Faulkner's prose, something scholars had tended to miss in their many works comparing Williams with Chekhov.
And, yes, you are correct that we (not just Southerners) still refer to men and women as "boys" and "girls" in certain contexts. Sports teams, the army. I work at theater where the performer age from 56 to 84-years-old and, according to tradition, the men and women of the chorus are sometimes still called "boys" and "girls."
But I don't believe those conventions were at play with the two retailers that BarnGoddess described.
Instead, I believe they were thought of as "boys" because they had never undergone the rites of passage that are central to a public heterosexual orientation (marriage and children) and that make one an "adult" in the heterosexual world. I have experienced this with myself and my partner with people who didn't know him 30+ years ago (when he had a wife and children).
I am NOT suggesting anyone involved is homophobic or unkind, and obviously being viewed as eternally juvenile isn't a problem on the order of gay bashing. But I have seen disagreements between gay co-workers in a corporate environment treated as playground squabbles while the same disagreements between straight co-workers were taken very seriously. And I submit that when people choose a CEO, a doctor, a lawyer, etc., they will tend to choose a "man" or "woman" over a "boy" or "girl."
This entire conversation came about because posters were insisting that sexual orientation is a "private" manner. I was pointing out that there are public components of sexual orientation and objective consequences.
As for "existential loneliness," I think that's a subjective issue. As far as I know, it visits gays and straights alike without discriminating.
