Deceased/Not Found VA - Bethany Decker, 21, Ashburn, 29 Jan 2011 *Guilty*

[CMac2]

'A lot of parents can relate. Maybe their kids did not charge up their cell phone and they’re off at the mall or something like that. You can't reach them and know what that feels like when you can’t reach your child'

I'm sorry- I know this family is going through hell right now- but not having contact with your daughter, who is normally in constant contact, at least via phone and text, for 3 full weeks is NOT the same thing as forgetting to charge your cell, or being "off at the mall".

Unfortunately, this family is in total denial about the life young Bethany led. It absolutely does not make her any less a victim if, God forbid, something bad happened to her, but living in a dream world regarding her life, her reality, is not going to help find her either.

More at link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1362457/U-S-soldier-Afghanistan-quizzed-missing-wife.html

 

[belimom]

I'm sorry- I know this family is going through hell right now- but not having contact with your daughter, who is normally in constant contact, at least via phone and text, for 3 full weeks is NOT the same thing as forgetting to charge your cell, or being "off at the mall".

Unfortunately, this family is in total denial about the life young Bethany led. It absolutely does not make her any less a victim if, God forbid, something bad happened to her, but living in a dream world regarding her life, her reality, is not going to help find her either.

More at link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1362457/U-S-soldier-Afghanistan-quizzed-missing-wife.html

I'm not sure they're in denial. I think the reason they have the toddler is her lifestyle, IMHO.

 

[crocus]

I dunno - are they in denial? I'm not so sure. I am usually in contact w/ my daughter a few times a week, BUT, if I were not to hear from her for several days, I would not be alarmed. Would just think she was busy, etc. Now if I got a call from one, or more, of her friends saying that they can't get ahold of her, then I would panic.

I guess what I mean is that Bethany was a full time student - and maybe it was not unlike her to be out of contact once in a while for a couple of weeks prior to this.

 

[crocus]

OT!

Belimom - love your new avatar! :seeya:

 

[belimom]

OT!

Belimom - love your new avatar! :seeya:

(Thank you! My old computer died with my pre-holiday turtle so I couldn't get back my avatar without the scarf - LOL! And it's early Spring - I needed a non-Christmas avatar.)

 

[Jaxson]

I kinda think her family, including her husband were giving her some space to tie up the loose ends of the relationship with the boyfriend. I think that is why no one was freaking out early on. They expected she would call them when things were settled, he was gone, and she was moved. They could also have been afraid she would stay with the BF and didn't want to hear it. (she didn't come to the airport) I have felt all along that Emile had nothing to do with her missing. Just a feeling, and I sure could be surprised if it comes out he did have something to do with it.

 

[cluciano63]

I'm confused about dates...did the BF see her after her husband went back overseas? Or was he the one who saw her on Jan 29th and that was the last time anyone admits to seeing her?

All families are different of course, but this family has indicated they kept in pretty close touch; that is why it is hard to imagine letting any more than 2-3 days pass at any time, for a young woman alone, there is always a chance something could happen.

 

[Jaxson]

It's seems to me like her BF didn't quite like her taking a trip to Hawaii with her husband. IMO

Yep and the fact that her husband would be raising his child and he would be an absentee parent. Not meaning he would be a good dad if he had the chance, because obviously right now it doesn't look good for his child either and I am guessing he is responsible for that. My ex didn't give a hoot about his kids until I left and found someone who was a great step dad.

Can anybody understand what I just said because I think it might be confusing if you are not in my head...lol.

 

[Kimster]

My theory is that she started a relationship with BF and her parents didn't approve. Maybe there was something about BF that caused them to take care of her other child? Sounds like her parents still had a good relationship with her husband. So, they might have had words after Hawaii along the lines of "get rid of BF with the abusive past and straighten up for your child and hubby who loves you". The tough love approach, perhaps.

Very very sad. My heart aches for this family! I have a feeling this isn't going to end well at all.

 

[revampz]

ok...just catching up and seeing there is now confirmation of rumored boyfriend....

my theory has now changed to boyfriend no. 1 suspect....hubby no 2 (though he is very very cooperative so am on the verge of ruling him out)

 

[Kimster]

Oh yeah, I forgot to add that I think odds so far are that BF did it. Didn't mean to leave my theory hanging there.

I think he was pissed about the trip to Hawaii.

 

[cluciano63]

I think the husband is being honest...I think he knew about the BF (the timing of the pregnancy probably ruled out the baby being his) and he may have told her to figure out what she wanted.

Maybe BF did not want a baby? Sadly, we've seen that scenario far too often, women being in the most danger of being murdered when pregnant.

 

[lindugh]

Wondering (1) who is paying her tuition; (2) did she want to be a mom; (3) did she marry for love or because she was pregnant (3) how long has her mom been taking care of the baby; (4) were hubby & her living together before he was deployed. Maybe she wanted to be rid of anything to do with emile, including his child cuz it's strange for a mom not to want to raise her own child. It seems that since LE wants the husband home, he is a POI, moreso than the bf.

 

[Truthful Lies]

Just thinking about things...I just can't imagine the Hawaii trip was the trigger for something this sinister, however, we've seen a LOT worse for a LOT less. I'm wondering if maybe Bethany was considering staying with Emile and trying to work things out - perhaps she was going to either pass the child off as his (if he didn't know about BF and were close enough in ethnicity).

She may have said something along the lines of "Ya know..I don't think you're going to help me take care of this kid...my hubby takes care of me...I think this was a mistake!"

 

[Kimster]

"The day before she was last seen, Decker was at the home of her grandparents, Evelyn and Ed Bayles, in Columbia, MD, and had spoken to her mother and son on the phone. The family used to communicate often, even if it was just through Facebook or texting, Nelson said, which is why after three weeks without any word, the family filed the missing person's report.

"We just had a feeling and had a concern because we couldn't make contact," Evelyn Bayles said. The Bayleses were traveling to Fredericksburg to see Kai and stopped by Decker's Ashburn apartment to see if she was there. They found her car in the parking lot, but no sign of their granddaughter. "

Much more at link: http://www.leesburg2day.com/articles/2011/03/04/news/9256missing030211.txt

(This report is from March 2, so it's kinda old. I thought it was a new one at first). :sigh:

 

[MsFacetious]

I still don't see the husband hurting her. He strikes me as the type that would be crushed and devastated to find out about an affair... not angry and violent.

The neighbors said they heard arguments, it wasn't with her husband because he was in Afghanistan.

She went to Hawaii with her husband... maybe the boyfriend was told this was one of those "my family adores him so I have to take him with me" type of trips.

But then maybe things did go well in Hawaii and the boyfriend saw something when she came back. Maybe he knew when she was coming back and was waiting for her and saw her kissing her husband or something.

Police searched the boyfriends house.

Did they search Bethany's Mom's house? Because that's where her husband was for those last few days. So if he is a POI they should be searching there as well.

The comments on articles have thus far proven to be true, despite skepticism. Those people think it was the boyfriend and they obviously have more knowledge than we do. Even without their knowledge, that is where my bet is too.

 

[MsFacetious]

Even after a few days, there are still things in this article I don't understand.

Why won't they say where she works? Is it just out of consideration so the place isn't bombarded with media? Or is there a reason they do not want people to know?

Her husband is concerned about the unborn baby... does that mean he thought it was his or planned on raising it even if it wasn't?

Her husband was home at the time the child was conceived, even if she had a boyfriend HOW would she know which one was the father? Unless she and her husband were preventing pregnancy, but then he wouldn't think he was the father either.

If her husband really wants to come home and law enforcement really wants him to come home... then he should be here shortly. Lori Arrowood disappeared Saturday, Nate Arrowood was home on Thursday. They found her body while he was on his way back, on Wednesday.


http://www.leesburg2day.com/articles/2011/03/04/news/9256missing030211.txt

Decker also works as a waitress in a local restaurant, but neither investigators nor her family would say where she is employed.

Although he is stationed in Afghanistan, Emile Decker has been able to make contact with the sheriff's office twice so far, beginning at around 2 a.m. Wednesday morning. The details of his conversation with investigators has not been released, but Capt. Kenneth Pratt said he is "very concerned" about his wife, her whereabouts, condition and the couple's unborn child.

Emile Decker left for Afghanistan for his tour in October. Now five months pregnant, Decker would have conceived around the end of September or early October.

Investigators are working with the U.S. Army to see if Decker can be brought home from Afghanistan to be interviewed and help with the investigation.

"We do believe he is shocked," Nelson said. "He feels quite helpless being so far away. He is wanting to be here."

 

[bdawk20]

A friend of mine and I were talking about this case at work, and she had a thought...
What if she and the husband were not "together"...maybe they got married initially because she was pregnant - she would receive government benefits for herself, and maybe he was taking care of she and the baby in financial ways, but they were not so much "a couple" anymore. If they were not a couple, and he was aware she was involved with someone else, naturally he knew the child was someone else's.
Just a thought....

 

[sonicfanaticsmommy]

If neighbors heard her and someone arguing in the past, and her hubby has been deployed since October (not counting his r&r in January) then it likely was the BF she was arguing with, not Emile.

How did they afford a Hawaii trip yet Bethany was being evicted from her apartment? Maybe the BF was paying the rent and got behind? I live about 15 min from Ashburn and apartments are not cheap there (my estimate for a 1 BR, if that's what she had, is $1100 a month, which would be hard to afford with a part time waitressing job)

It also doesn't make sense to me that she was living in Ashburn and not with her family and her child. GMU is closer to Ashburn than Fredericksburg, but I can tell you that traffic in the AM from Ashburn to Fairfax (where GMU is) is absolutely ridiculous. It really isn't that much easier to get to GMU from Ashburn in rush hour than it is from Fredericksburg. A little bit easier but not much.

I know Ashburn pretty well... I'm tempted to drive out there today to see her neighborhood for myself. I'm on medical leave from work right now so I have a ton of free time lol

 

[schwabie]

....
Decker also works as a waitress in a local restaurant, but neither investigators nor her family would say where she is employed.
[/U][/B]

http://mun.gmu.edu/masun09/masun09-sochum.pdf

"...Bethany Littlejohn ............... In the little spare time that
I have, I also work at Texas de Brazil!"