VA - Freshman daughter, mom 'good time drop off' outrages VA university

[katydid23]

If you don't consent or can't consent because of impairment then it's rape IMO. If a man is worried about being falsely accused of rape then he should only be intimate in a "trusting" relationship and when the woman is "sober".

What ever happened to chivalry?

I agree with all of the above.

 

[Donjeta]

Probably the same rate as the females.

Well then the calculations in the article wouldn't hold. They're assuming that 5,9 % of all female reporters are liars but all male reporters tell the truth.

 

[katydid23]

It seems that some researchers have problems with the 2-8% stats on false accusations:

http://www.datagoneodd.com/blog/2015/01/27/how-to-lie-and-mislead-with-rape-statistics-part-2/

 

[katydid23]

Well then the calculations in the article wouldn't hold. They're assuming that 5,9 % of all female reporters are liars but all male reporters tell the truth.

I think they were just trying to make a point that the numbers are very close.

 

[Donjeta]

Yeah I think there might be some problems in comparing numbers that come from different sources. It might be that the men were asked for apples and the women were asked for oranges and the samples might not be comparably collected. JMO.

From the link:

In 2013, the National Crime Victimization Survey conducted by the United States Government Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) found 38% of all sexual assault victims were men. Further, Lara Stemple of the Human Rights Project at UCLA co-authored a paper called: “The Sexual Victimization of Men in America: New Data Challenge Old Assumptions,” published in the April 17, 2014 edition of the American Journal of Public Health found when a more objective count of sexual assault victims was compiled, which included sexual assault in prisons and other correctional facilities (an area excluded by most feminists when studying rates of sexual assault and not counted in most general national statistics) found 1.270 million women and 1.267 men reported being sexually assaulted… both genders were sexually assaulted in equal numbers. Further, the BJS found that in regard to male victims of sexual assault, 46% reported their assailant was female. What’s even more disturbing is regarding incarcerated juveniles sexually assaulted. In 89% of all reported cases, the victims were boys who reported the perpetrator as a female staff member.

While I don't doubt that prisoners get sexually assaulted a lot, the experiences of incarcerated young men and college girls in frat parties are necessarily comparable and if we assume that many college girls are lying biotches who make up false rape allegations for selfish benefits it might be that some male prisoners also make false allegations to get back at someone and so on.

 

[ninij9]

I don't see what possible value there is in using a case as bizarre as the 'mattress girl' to make a point about anything other than her own mental illness.

I think the point is that the entire university supported her efforts. She cried rape, and the young man's entire college experience was ruined. She was believed unconditionally by the court of public opinion. Yes, she is mentally ill. But the mentality that allowed her to pull it off for so long is disturbing as well.

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[LinasK]

I wanted to jump in and help Katy out,I understand what she is saying.We should be able to live in a world were a woman can wear what she wants when she wants and where she wants but that is not the case.A woman can not walk naked at 3am down a dark alley as example.We as women know this so we try and make decisions to protect ourselves and not put ourselves in danger,but some young women make poor decisions and put themselves in harms way.I am not saying they are at fault but we make the decision to be there.I hope what I say makes sense because I do not wish to get into a big thing on here,I'm not as good at making my point as Katy is.

Granted some women place themselves in unwise situations. Nonetheless, men, although mammals are not actually physically wolves. They are able to control themselves physically if they choose to. They need to learn that if a girl falls asleep- in their bed or anyplace- consent is automatically withdrawn. Yeah, they're disappointed, but so what? Go take care of it yourself.

 

[Montjoy]

Well, with respect, I certainly wouldn't say that the 'entire' university supported her efforts. And I would humbly submit that a big part of the situation is that this happened at a university. There are a lot of strange tensions and protections at a university. Universities are set apart from the corporate world, and the greater society in many ways. There are different protections for free speech, for protection of minority and vulnerable-party interests, and there are a lot of political (albeit not specifically partisan) influences at universities. Just speaking as a person who spent a lot of time at different universities (different countries, private and public, conservative and liberal, large and small, prestigious and not so much), they are very good at many things, but they're also hamstrung when dealing with some issues. (As a side note, right now comedians have a very hard time finding work at universities, which is an odd thing, seeing as they used to be rich markets for them, but the ideological climate is not ideal for comedy.)

 

[Montjoy]

Granted some women place themselves in unwise situations. Nonetheless, men, although mammals are not actually physically wolves. They are able to control themselves physically if they chose to. They need to learn that if a girl falls asleep- in their bed or anyplace- consent is automatically withdrawn. Yeah, they're disappointed, but so what? Go take care of it yourself.

It seems to me that some of this discussion seems almost sympathetic to (forgive the reference) the 'blue balls' defense. My phys ed teacher mentioned 'blue balls' in the first sex-ed course I took (not really a course, just a couple of classes in phys ed). Looking back, I find it staggering, but then again, he was a bit of a f'ing idiot. I really had hoped that society had grown out of that by now, but it seems not.

 

[LinasK]

It seems to me that some of this discussion seems almost sympathetic to (forgive the reference) the 'blue balls' defense. My phys ed teacher mentioned 'blue balls' in the first sex-ed course I took (not really a course, just a couple of classes in phys ed). Looking back, I find it staggering, but then again, he was a bit of a f'ing idiot. I really had hoped that society had grown out of that by now, but it seems not.

BBM. Agreed. It's the old, you teased him, you deserve it blaming of females. I had a boyfriend in high school who tried to convince me to feel sorry for him because of that. I didn't end up with him. Fortunately, my husband and other decent men in the world understand that once you fall asleep, that session is OVER!

 

[bluesneakers]

It seems to me that some of this discussion seems almost sympathetic to (forgive the reference) the 'blue balls' defense. My phys ed teacher mentioned 'blue balls' in the first sex-ed course I took (not really a course, just a couple of classes in phys ed). Looking back, I find it staggering, but then again, he was a bit of a f'ing idiot. I really had hoped that society had grown out of that by now, but it seems not.

I think most women have heard how very painful blue balls can be, and how an erection left on its own to become flaccid is excruciating to the owner. That's why it's so cruel to get a young man excited and not follow through with intercourse.

Deadly Semen Buildup

A condition of seminal fluid buildup that can lead to impaired judgment, erratic behavior, and an overall malaise that can effect men who have not experienced sexual intercourse over a protracted time frame. While masturbation can alleviate some of the symptoms associated with DSB it serves only as a treatment, not a cure. DSB can only be relieved by interaction with a sexual partner.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Deadly+Semen+Buildup

 

[LinasK]

I think most women have heard how very painful blue balls can be, and how an erection left on its own to become flaccid is excruciating to the owner. That's why it's so cruel to get a young man excited and not follow through with intercourse.

Deadly Semen Buildup



http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Deadly+Semen+Buildup

Well, then that sexual partner can just be "Manuel", as in manual- use your hand!!

 

[flourish]

Well, then that sexual partner can just be "Manuel", as in manual- use your hand!!

Or his cousin Rosie Palms. Lol.


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[katydid23]

If a boy falls asleep in the middle of heavy petting, and at some later time, after a nap, the girl awakens him by arousing his genitals, is she a sexual predator and should she be charged with rape?


If so, I should have a warrant out for my arrest. :blush:

 

[flourish]

Oh ffs I don't know.

I know I have permission from Mr flourish to do that. I asked. He consented very enthusiastically. No confusion.


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[katydid23]

Oh ffs I don't know.

I know I have permission from Mr flourish to do that. I asked. He consented very enthusiastically. No confusion.


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EXACTLY. My husband feels the same way. In fact, back in my wilder days [ we have been married for 33 years] my husband used to wake me up out of my sleep in that same fashion. I never considered it rape.

 

[flourish]

Some would. Which is why I ask. On a side note, I vaguely remember Jodi Arias freaking out about it when she alleged that her victim did that to her.


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[katydid23]

Some would. Which is why I ask. On a side note, I vaguely remember Jodi Arias freaking out about it when she alleged that her victim did that to her.


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That's right. I remember when she made that claim. I never heard anyone here say that TA was a rapist if what she said was true.

I never thought that made him a rapist because I never thought of myself as being raped when my boyfriends woke me up that way. I think it is sexy, not evil. Obviously it is a different thing if it is someone you barely know.

But I get the feeling from some here that it is ALWAYS considered wrong for a man to do that if his girlfriend is asleep. And once again, I disagree. I think things should be on a case by case basis. It is not cut and dry.

 

[bluesneakers]

That's right. I remember when she made that claim. I never heard anyone here say that TA was a rapist if what she said was true.

I never thought that made him a rapist because I never thought of myself as being raped when my boyfriends woke me up that way. I think it is sexy, not evil. Obviously it is a different thing if it is someone you barely know.

But I get the feeling from some here that it is ALWAYS considered wrong for a man to do that if his girlfriend is asleep. And once again, I disagree. I think things should be on a case by case basis. It is not cut and dry.

IMO it's not always wrong for a man to do that if his girlfriend is asleep if she's told him it's fine. If she's told him no, or told him "You can do this but not that" then it's different. And vice-versa, of course. JMO.

 

[LinasK]

If a boy falls asleep in the middle of heavy petting, and at some later time, after a nap, the girl awakens him by arousing his genitals, is she a sexual predator and should she be charged with rape?


If so, I should have a warrant out for my arrest. :blush:

Let's put it this way- if a female starts to arouse a sleeping male in that manner and he says, "Leave me alone, I'm tired/I'm sleeping" and she continues, then yes she is a predator. FWIW, I don't ever believe Travis did this to Jodi, I think it's her fiction.