VA - Freshman daughter, mom 'good time drop off' outrages VA university

[MamaJoJo]

Well, here is a topical article in this morning's news...

Singer Chrissie Hynde has been slammed by women's charities for saying that rape victims 'have to take responsibility' for what happened to them.

Speaking about her own experiences, the Pretenders rocker, 63, said she blames herself after being forced to perform sexual acts under the threat of violence when she was 21.

<snip>

'You can't paint yourself into a corner and then say whose brush is this? You have to take responsibility. I mean, I was naive...'

When asked whether the gang took advantage of her vulnerability, she replied: 'If you play with fire you get burnt. It's not any secret, is it?'

Hynde went on to say that women who dress provocatively while walking down the street drunk are also to blame if they are attacked.

'If I'm walking around in my underwear and I'm drunk? Who else's fault can it be?'
She explained: 'If I'm walking around and I'm very modestly dressed and I'm keeping to myself and someone attacks me, then I'd say that's his fault.

'But if I'm being very lairy and putting it about and being provocative, then you are enticing someone who's already unhinged - don't do that. Come on!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...s-sexual-assault-responsibility-happened.html

 

[BritsKate]

Well, here is a topical article in this morning's news...



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...s-sexual-assault-responsibility-happened.html

She also states if you don't want to entice a rapist, don't wear high heels, because you can't run away.

Helpful advice.

 

[MamaJoJo]

I think this article and this thread really showcase the vast divide regarding consent which both men and women young and old share. There is another currently active thread (missing person thread) where this topic is being bantered about, too. Maybe a "rape" thread (as Elley Mae suggested) would be a good idea.

 

[flourish]

Can a thread on Rape be started.
Last I looked the banners said to drop off daughters for a good time, that may be in bad taste for some folks but has nothing to do with rape. jmo idk

I'm pretty sure you could go ahead and start one downstairs....


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[katydid23]

Meh... you can believe what you want based on your one experience and what you search for online and I'll believe what I want based on watching case after case and researching online, and what I went through while my daughter was a university student. Maybe if your experience had been with a daughter who was a victim of date rape your opinion would be different. I'm seeing a lot of "I think" comments in what you've said which to me suggests you're not certain and that possibly leaves you vulnerable (based on your personal experience with your son's friend) to the messages rape culture broadcasts to our society.

I don't know anyone who is going around telling young women "Do whatever you want and climb in bed and hey, it's all on him to behave!" Most of the comments I've seen here advocate responsibility on both parties and everyone knows alcohol (though I maintain it's often procured by the young men with the very intent of getting young women drunk or give them date rape drugs so they can have sex with them) plays a major role in sexual assault and rape.

But a video of a passed out drunk girl being passed around like a bag of laundry, and being assaulted... to me there's no question. She was raped. She was abused and assaulted. Yet many, many people blamed her, said it was her fault, said the boys (they were in high school) did nothing wrong and it was tragic to see their lives ruined for what they did. Their coaches and parents tried to cover for them. One of those boys, when he apologized after the trial, did not even mention the victim or her family. So much for contrition and learning from his mistakes.

I haven't seen many here advocating responsibility for both parties. That is what got my dander up in the first place. It seemed that any talk of a woman's 'responsibilty' was seen as 'blaming the victim.'
As for alcohol, maybe it was just my daughter and her friends, but they very rarely took any alcohol from guys at a party. All of the girls I knew 'pre-gamed' before the event. They would drink and or smoke BEFORE they arrived to the party or event to avoid high prices and date rape drugs.

I am not denying there are many males trying to get girls drunk. But there are plenty of girls doing a similar thing. I had the password to my daughters social media accounts. wowzers---I read and saw a whole lot of sexual aggression by a lot of GIRLS. A lot of college girls are very persistent and aggressive and hyper sexual. There is a strong 'HooK Up' drive in many of the girls. So I have a hard time buying this narrative that all these guys need to do all of this just to have sex in college.

Of course, in that trial against those Steubenville creeps, the girl was an innocent victim. They acted like monsters. If all rapes were this cut and dry it would be easy to charge them and bring them to trial. But that was a very extreme example.

I worked in a high school long enough to know that teens LIE. Both genders LIE. I am just not believing that narrative put forth by the Rape Culture enthusiasts that there are all of these sweet innocent naive girls entrapped by these cunning predators and then they are all denied justice. Does it happen too often. YES. Are ALL of the stories the girls tell 100% TRUE--I DOUBT IT.

 

[jjenny]

She also states if you don't want to entice a rapist, don't wear high heels, because you can't run away.

Helpful advice.

Maybe it's easier for her to deal with her own rape if she blames herself.

 

[jjenny]

How is it bizarre to replace females with males in the EXACT same situation, and see how the results differ.

Because I have to say there seems to be a real double standard, imo.

That's what it looks like to me. Shouldn't these rules be gender neutral? Why did the male student in Amherst case got expelled, if he was drunk to the point of the blacking out (female student admitted he was very drunk in her text message)? If he was a female, wouldn't he be considered a victim (if female is drunk to the point of blacking out, don't we consider her a victim?)Yet being a male he is expelled from school.
And counselor's recommendation was to blame him for the encounter? Hope this guy wins his lawsuit.

"The counselor&#8217;s recommendation was to blame Doe for the encounter. Her reply: &#8220;But I mean [roommate] knows me it&#8217;s pretty obvi I wasn&#8217;t an innocent bystander.&#8217;&#8217;"
https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2015/05/29/amherst/4t6JtKmaz7vlYSrQk5NDyJ/story.html

 

[Elley Mae]

You said as much on page 2. School officials, however, disagree. I'd replied to your previous post with quotes from the statements released by faculty of ODU.

The school officials who denounced the banners made a correlation between them and sexual assault themselves. Actually, they also mentioned relationship violence, dating violence, sexual harassment, and violence against women in their statements too.

So while some may feel they're just a poor attempt at a joke, school officials themselves have taken a very different stance.

Oh Honestly do you think they would say anything else.? of course they denounced them, I wouldn't expect anything less, golly gee.

It still doesn't have anything to do with rape, jmo it's about having a good time. I have had those good time moments and they were great, to be quit honest. IIRC when the rape charges were dropped on the guy from the rolling stone article that were a bold face lie the university apologized then as well, I mean in this world of we have to know now and everyone trying to answer the correct way the first time before they even fact check. I mean people are apologizing for no wrong doing. Like I said on page 2 this is not about rape it's about horny guys on the look out for horny girls. jmo idk

 

[flourish]

Oh Honestly do you think they would say anything else.? of course they denounced them, I wouldn't expect anything less, golly gee.

It still doesn't have anything to do with rape, jmo it's about having a good time. I have had those good time moments and they were great, to be quit honest. IIRC when the rape charges were dropped on the guy from the rolling stone article that were a bold face lie the university apologized then as well, I mean in this world of we have to know now and everyone trying to answer the correct way the first time before they even fact check. I mean people are apologizing for no wrong doing. Like I said on page 2 this is not about rape it's about horny guys on the look out for horny girls. jmo idk

Then by all means start an appropriate thread downstairs. Or alert the whole off-topic issue to the mods. Or read a different thread. Or discuss the banners more.

Golly gee.


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[Elley Mae]

Then by all means start an appropriate thread downstairs. Or alert the whole off-topic issue to the mods. Or read a different thread. Or discuss the banners more.

Golly gee.


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Now Flourish I am not about the basement and it's sunday so I am sure the mods are trying to relax. I just don't think that some juveniles in college should be looked at or labeled as rapist. jmo idk get my drift.

 

[flourish]

Now Flourish I am not about the basement and it's sunday so I am sure the mods are trying to relax. I just don't think that some juveniles in college should be looked at or labeled as rapist. jmo idk get my drift.

Whatever keep complaining then.


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[Elley Mae]

Whatever keep complaining then.


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Complaining about horny guys being referred to as rapists? Is that what is inferred here? I can't interpret it any other way, help my here. I can guess as what why but I would like to hear it from ... you. TIA

 

[Elley Mae]

It was juvenile to say the least. It was funny to me as a 59 yr old woman, sorry but it was. I do not see it as these guys and wanting to rape woman, I just don't. Was it in poor taste, ... yeah it was. But dang it, it was funny, to me and when I think about my husband and seeing the guys that where there that day we dropped our daughter off to college, let me just say that there were some hot guys there and I could see my husband sort of realize that he was not that hard, hot young good looking young man that he used to be, so I can understand that the banners would have been uncomfortable to some. jmo idk I've lost the phrase, what they call men that buy that sport car around 40 yrs old.. maybe that's after they drop off the kid for college tht they get the urge. jmo idk

 

[LinasK]

It was juvenile to say the least. It was funny to me as a 59 yr old woman, sorry but it was. I do not see it as these guys and wanting to rape woman, I just don't. Was it in poor taste, ... yeah it was. But dang it, it was funny, to me and when I think about my husband and seeing the guys that where there that day we dropped our daughter off to college, let me just say that there were some hot guys there and I could see my husband sort of realize that he was not that hard, hot young good looking young man that he used to be, so I can understand that the banners would have been uncomfortable to some. jmo idk I've lost the phrase, what they call men that buy that sport car around 40 yrs old.. maybe that's after they drop off the kid for college tht they get the urge. jmo idk

Well, I'm a 54 year old woman (and a molestation victim) with a teenage daughter, who doesn't find it funny in the least for young women to be referred to as "fresh meat"!!! This is exactly the culture that promotes rape!

 

[bluesneakers]

Well, I'm a 54 year old woman (and a molestation victim) with a teenage daughter, who doesn't find it funny in the least for young women to be referred to as "fresh meat"!!! This is exactly the culture that promotes rape!

This is why I think discussing rape and rape culture in a thread about the banners is on-topic. JMO.

 

[LinasK]

This is why I think discussing rape and rape culture in a thread about the banners is on-topic. JMO.

And it's also why Bill Cosby and the Duggars think that women are there for the taking. Whether we consent or not!:banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[Elley Mae]

Well, I'm a 54 year old woman (and a molestation victim) with a teenage daughter, who doesn't find it funny in the least for young women to be referred to as "fresh meat"!!! This is exactly the culture that promotes rape!

bbm, I as well

bbm Was that on the banner? I have to say I have never heard that before, I mean the phrase.

 

[bluesneakers]

And it's also why Bill Cosby and the Duggars think that women are there for the taking. Whether we consent or not!:banghead::banghead::banghead:

Yep. It's all part of the same big picture.

And I agree: :banghead:

 

[flourish]

Complaining about horny guys being referred to as rapists? Is that what is inferred here? I can't interpret it any other way, help my here. I can guess as what why but I would like to hear it from ... you. TIA

Complaining about the thread veering off topic. The topic itself has never been calling horny guys rapists, but calling rapists rapists.


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[Elley Mae]

Students and staff at Old Dominion University (ODU) in Norfolk, Virginia have expressed outrage after signs were hung from a private student residence 'welcoming' freshers. The signs only welcomed females and stated moms could be dropped off at the house, along with their freshman daughters but needed to be prepared for 'a good time'.

ODU president John R Briderick said of the signs, suspected to have been hung by members of the Sigma Nu frat brothers;



http://wgntv.com/2015/08/24/freshma...llege-campus-outraged-odu-president-responds/

Ok here is the Topic.