I don't know why I keep thinking about a quote from NK's dad today. He said something at the bond hearing about education before chores. I guess it jolted me because we have the same policy in our house.
There were two suicides in my daughter's freshman year at college. The university went into PR overload, sending multiple emails about how they were ramping up the "help" for overwhelmed students, but the fact remained that the environment is visciously competitive and isolating. If you don't find a close bond with a roommate (and fat chance on that because the random selection isn't usually successful), many won't find it in the classroom because fellow students consider eachother threats. That leaves extracurriculars. There hasn't been a mention of NK getting involved in college, other than a facebook reference that she was part of an engineering club that designs boats? Can't imagine that took up much of her time.
I am NOT defending anyone, just trying to understand. NK was the oldest, correct? They tend to put the greatest pressure on themselves. I could never come down too hard on my daughter because she was so much harder on herself than I could be -- the oldest, the overachiever, type A, perfectionist. But my daughter had an outlet -- she's pre-med, but immediately immersed herself in extracurriculars at college -- the ones that interested her and gave her a break and release from the stress of class. Would things have been different for NK if she immersed herself in something that interested her like theatre? Did her middle school cutting history, combined with immense competition and time to amplify that, almost guarantee this girl's self-destruction?