VA - Scott Fricker, 48, & Buckley Kuhn-Fricker, 43, slain, Reston, 22 Dec 2017 *daughter’s bf charged*

[rsd1200]

<modsnip>

ETA: This is not political, to me, at this juncture. This is just our story.

Mine went the way of the Gangsta subculture, but with a distinct interest in Horrorcore Rap. I love music. He'd loved music since he was a baby. I have a pic of him with his first little Playschool Cassette Recorder, and headphones. Totally immersed, in Barney songs, at about age 4. Cute as could be.

There is no "Gangsta" culture here. We live in Appalachia... We have some good old fashioned, good ole boys, but that's about the size of it. Mine dressed the part too. No matter what I bought, he'd get to school, and trade it out, or come back from Dad's with a whole new wardrobe, scrounged from the others, about two sizes too big. Yes there were a handful of other kids who were into the horrorcore too, and gangsta look. Birds of a feather. (I have 2-3 of his friends, who come by to check in on me ever so often, these days. ). Has anyone here listened to Horrorcore? I listened to it, out of curiosity and checking to see what he was "into", and am NO shrinking violet, but, based on some of the trouble we were having, I didn't feel it was a genre I should support, at home. His favorite? ICP. What was his first underage tatt? A large Hatchetman, on his forearm. I decided, NO rap, then (and I even like rap).

Ffwd, 15+ years, and many wars later, w/ music snuck in constantly, combined with chasing him around the county, visiting nearly ever jail in a 100 mile radius, and, when looking back, I should'a picked my battles and just let him have his rap. Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath likely saved my life. My son didn't turn out to be a killer, because he wrote disturbing, (to me, as a mother), lyrics.

He went into that kind of music, however, that is his outlet. I was taking away his outlet. He still writes, does some shows, creates vids, and is locally fairly popular (for our region). I've even gone to a couple of his shows. He's a heck of a showman. He wears Riddle Box clothes, and the like, almost all the time, when he's not in county... No, he's still not got life figured out, but he's not violent. He has a good heart, and is very creative, but the word "No", was not included in his vocabulary. His reactions have tempered with time and we still argue and fight, but end every call or goodbye, with an "I love you". He's back on meds now, but has lost that little "spark", in his eyes. That's the bad part of meds. He's more calm now, though, and going through another drug treatment program. Yep, another one. He's not really an addict though. He self medicates, and sometimes he doesn't get it right, b/c he is not a doctor, so we've had some scares there too. He told my parents that he didn't know what he'd do without me. The feeling is mutual. It's been a long ride, but I would never give him up, nor give up on him. My guess is that the parents of these two kids felt the same. (If you ever find this, son, and know it's me, I love you. :heartbeat: Just trying to help others, understand.)

 

[Lilibet]

I didn&#8217;t see the snipped political post you replied to, but this case transcends politics IMO. I truly appreciate your posts, sharing your own experiences as a teen and your son&#8217;s. For someone like me, who hasn&#8217;t done anything too wild since our brief sojourn as newlyweds in Haight Ashbury during the 1967 &#8220;Summer of Love&#8221;, this is educational and helps keep me up to date and broaden my outlook. I&#8217;m so glad your son is doing pretty well, despite ups and downs. You have been a good Mom. I know you think back on mistakes, and wish you could have do-overs, as most of us do, but he was very fortunate to have you.

I think Buckley&#8217;s daughter was fortunate to have her mom fighting to save her. I just wish she still had her mom, and I hope someday soon she understands and appreciates what her mom was trying to do, even though I imagine Buckley would want a do-over if she could figure out another way. But she did what she thought she needed to do and I appreciate that she cared enough to try, like you have.

<modsnip>

ETA: This is not political, to me, at this juncture. This is just our story.

Mine went the way of the Gangsta subculture, but with a distinct interest in Horrorcore Rap. I love music. He'd loved music since he was a baby. I have a pic of him with his first little Playschool Cassette Recorder, and headphones. Totally immersed, in Barney songs, at about age 4. Cute as could be.

There is no "Gangsta" culture here. We live in Appalachia... We have some good old fashioned, good ole boys, but that's about the size of it. Mine dressed the part too. No matter what I bought, he'd get to school, and trade it out, or come back from Dad's with a whole new wardrobe, scrounged from the others, about two sizes too big. Yes there were a handful of other kids who were into the horrorcore too, and gangsta look. Birds of a feather. (I have 2-3 of his friends, who come by to check in on me ever so often, these days. ). Has anyone here listened to Horrorcore? I listened to it, out of curiosity and checking to see what he was "into", and am NO shrinking violet, but, based on some of the trouble we were having, I didn't feel it was a genre I should support, at home. His favorite? ICP. What was his first underage tatt? A large Hatchetman, on his forearm. I decided, NO rap, then (and I even like rap).

Ffwd, 15+ years, and many wars later, w/ music snuck in constantly, combined with chasing him around the county, visiting nearly ever jail in a 100 mile radius, and, when looking back, I should'a picked my battles and just let him have his rap. Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath likely saved my life. My son didn't turn out to be a killer, because he wrote disturbing, (to me, as a mother), lyrics.

He went into that kind of music, however, that is his outlet. I was taking away his outlet. He still writes, does some shows, creates vids, and is locally fairly popular (for our region). I've even gone to a couple of his shows. He's a heck of a showman. He wears Riddle Box clothes, and the like, almost all the time, when he's not in county... No, he's still not got life figured out, but he's not violent. He has a good heart, and is very creative, but the word "No", was not included in his vocabulary. His reactions have tempered with time and we still argue and fight, but end every call or goodbye, with an "I love you". He's back on meds now, but has lost that little "spark", in his eyes. That's the bad part of meds. He's more calm now, though, and going through another drug treatment program. Yep, another one. He's not really an addict though. He self medicates, and sometimes he doesn't get it right, b/c he is not a doctor, so we've had some scares there too. He told my parents that he didn't know what he'd do without me. The feeling is mutual. It's been a long ride, but I would never give him up, nor give up on him. My guess is that the parents of these two kids felt the same. (If you ever find this, son, and know it's me, I love you. :heartbeat: Just trying to help others, understand.)

 

[courtney2662]

Funeral held today, 800 people in attendance.

The 17 year old boyfriend of daughter is in critical condition and under police guard.

https://wtop.com/fairfax-county/201...on-couple-killed-just-days-christmas/slide/1/

 

[Betty P]

BBM

I think handling that situation without triggering violence is easier said than done. You and I talked about this very early in post #42 before we knew about what kind of school it was or that the daughter was messed up too. At that point we thought the main problem was his Nazi viewpoint. I&#8217;m not sure if what I said then (quoted below) is even applicable...it sounds kind of naive with what we now know. I&#8217;m a firm believer in approaching volatile situations in a peaceful, calming way. I still think showing how much you care gets better results than alienation. If I knew that the boyfriend was capable of violence, I would tread very, very lightly. But sometimes decisive action is needed.

Buckley&#8217;s apparent goal was to protect her daughter from acquiring repugnant beliefs. I think that horse had already left the barn and her daughter was clearly part of the problem. It sounds as if Buckley felt that taking a public stand against Nazi beliefs was hugely important. Maybe she realized that her daughter was already on the &#8220;dark side&#8221; and all she could do is stand firm for her own values, no matter what. It&#8217;s impossible to second guess her decisions. Dying for what you believe is not the worst thing someone can do, although I doubt that was her intent, of course. I wish I had an answer. But I&#8217;m still on the side of a peaceful approach.

I think the only approach that would work is cultivating an extra close and understanding relationship with their daughter and counteracting his indoctrination over time, not in one intervention. Let her explain her new views, if she would admit them. Let him explain his views. Keep calm and keep lines of communication open...easier said than done! The Mom was asking about WWII videos they could show their daughter, so she realized that was needed. At what point she realized that, I&#8217;m not sure. I totally understand her sense of panic, but extreme action is just going to make a teen dig in their heels. I&#8217;m sure they had no idea that he would be so dangerous though. What a tragedy.

I'm sorry but I disagree very much. There's no way the parents are to blame for this situation. At all. This was a violent, angry, racist, unstable kid with easy access to a gun and parents who apparently weren't paying attention to his activities. If any parents should have been monitoring him or having deep discussions, it should have been his own. I don't understand nor agree with anyone trying to put the blame on the Fricker parents. Their job was to raise their daughter and protect their own family. They did the best they could, but without cooperation from the killer's family, they had few cards to play.

I'm also curious as to why you feel the Fricker parents didn't take a "peaceful" approach? There did not behave in a violent manner, but instead responded in a very reasoned way. Violent neo-Nazi behavior is not something any parent should ignore when it comes to boyfriends brainwashing daughters and sneaking into their home at night. People behaving that way are a danger to the public.

 

[rsd1200]

I didn’t see the snipped political post you replied to, but this case transcends politics IMO. I truly appreciate your posts, sharing your own experiences as a teen and your son’s. For someone like me, who hasn’t done anything too wild since our brief sojourn as newlyweds in Haight Ashbury during the 1967 “Summer of Love”, this is educational and helps keep me up to date and broaden my outlook. I’m so glad your son is doing pretty well, despite ups and downs. You have been a good Mom. I know you think back on mistakes, and wish you could have do-overs, as most of us do, but he was very fortunate to have you.

I think Buckley’s daughter was fortunate to have her mom fighting to save her. I just wish she still had her mom, and I hope someday soon she understands and appreciates what her mom was trying to do, even though I imagine Buckley would want a do-over if she could figure out another way. But she did what she thought she needed to do and I appreciate that she cared enough to try, like you have.

Haight-Ashbury, and on a honeymoon, no less. I'd have been sooo, in my element. Got the good fortune to visit the area some years back , and it was the highlight of my trip! Lucky you!

I have made mistakes with mine, big ones, and little ones, and I think I might have gotten one or two things right, along the way, too. Kids don't come with a handbook. At these two kids' ages, my son, literally, hated me, but that was okay, I was not put here to be his teenage bestie. We have, what I'd call, a pretty good mother/son relationship, at this point, but mine's an adult now, and I have tried very hard to quit sweating the small stuff. :silenced:

I think the young lady in this case, will, ultimately, mightily, regret her decisions and I feel bad for her. I think the parents of the boy, are probably devastated, and going over in their mind, why they didn't see this. No parent, who loves their child, wants a dead kid, or a kid who is living in prison. I feel for the young man, too, these diags are hard enough for parents to live with but imagine having to be the actual teen, living with these diags.
One thing we did not do, was ever share our hobby of target shooting. We never even let him aim, or shoot, the first firearm. We did teach him, to assume that all firearms are loaded, that if he found himself in the position of ever holding a firearm to never point it at anyone, and if he were at someone else's home and saw one, just do not handle it, period.

The thing folks don't realize though, is that typically, you're not gonna find kids with difficult diags, at school competitions, with parents in the bleachers, screaming their heads off, snapping photos, waving pompoms, buying prom dresses, or renting a tux, and bonding over sports, cheer-leading, or discussing the latest new purse style, or brand of jeans, that's on the wish list. So I get wanting something in common to try and break the silence, b/c teens are not big talkers anyway, but we made the choice to just not even target practice, ourselves, when the kids were home, and by these two kids' ages we'd taken the firearms to another location, that was inaccessible. Again, I never thought mine would hurt anyone, but thought he might hurt himself.

You can't be there 24/7/365, and ya gotta sleep sometime. Life is a Crapshoot as it is, so you can only try to your best, and pray some of it sticks.

 

[borndem]

Funeral held today, 800 people in attendance.

The 17 year old boyfriend of daughter is in critical condition and under police guard.

https://wtop.com/fairfax-county/201...on-couple-killed-just-days-christmas/slide/1/

I am not trying to be cutesy when I say: The only ones resting in peace tonight, and for many nights to come, are Scott and Buckley Fricker. It will be a long time for the ones left behind. Such a shame and a tragedy.

 

[Lilibet]

I'm sorry but I disagree very much. There's no way the parents are to blame for this situation. At all. This was a violent, angry, racist, unstable kid with easy access to a gun and parents who apparently weren't paying attention to his activities. If any parents should have been monitoring him or having deep discussions, it should have been his own. I don't understand nor agree with anyone trying to put the blame on the Fricker parents. Their job was to raise their daughter and protect their own family. They did the best they could, but without cooperation from the killer's family, they had few cards to play.

I'm also curious as to why you feel the Fricker parents didn't take a "peaceful" approach? There did not behave in a violent manner, but instead responded in a very reasoned way. Violent neo-Nazi behavior is not something any parent should ignore when it comes to boyfriends brainwashing daughters and sneaking into their home at night. People behaving that way are a danger to the public.

I’m sorry you think I’m blaming the Fricker parents. I’m not sure how you got that from this post. I think you have misunderstood the context and intent of my post and perhaps overlooked other posts I’ve made. The Frickers did do the best they could under horrible circumstances. Of course his parents should have been doing all the things I mentioned. I have no knowledge of what they were trying to do at their end, except rumor. Since the Frickers knew about the relationship and some of his attitudes since last summer, my last paragraph (written much earlier) was addressing what could have been done over time to counteract his influence on their daughter without having a showdown. As I said, after we learned more, that sounded a little naive. Once we learned that both of them had issues serious enough to be in this school, it was clear that this was way more complicated than counteracting Nazi ideology.

All I mean by a “peaceful approach” is one that doesn’t escalate a situation verbally or in any other way, especially given these very complex circumstances. I wasn’t suggesting they ignore the situation at all. It couldn’t and shouldn’t be ignored. I was just addressing the fact that there was a lot of verbal and emotional intensity from Sunday night through the intervention with their daughter and confrontation in her bedroom. All very understandable and normal. Not wrong, but obviously, that approach didn’t work. So Wylie and I were talking in retrospect and hypothetically about how one could handle a potentially violent situation. Even that might not work. But as I’ve said, I don’t think the Frickers had any idea how violent he would be, nor how attached their daughter was to him. So, no blame, just sadness that it turned out to be a terrible tragedy. I hope this clears up the misunderstanding.

 

[Jennifer17]

I am really surprised that he didn't shoot the girlfriend too, but maybe what he did do, was worse.

I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation if I were the girl's parent. I still had a lot of control over my daughters at 16, so I don't know what I would have done, if I hadn't.

 

[Lilibet]

Haight-Ashbury, and on a honeymoon, no less. I'd have been sooo, in my element. Got the good fortune to visit the area some years back , and it was the highlight of my trip! Lucky you!

I have made mistakes with mine, big ones, and little ones, and I think I might have gotten one or two things right, along the way, too. Kids don't come with a handbook. At these two kids' ages, my son, literally, hated me, but that was okay, I was not put here to be his teenage bestie. We have, what I'd call, a pretty good mother/son relationship, at this point, but mine's an adult now, and I have tried very hard to quit sweating the small stuff. :silenced:

I think the young lady in this case, will, ultimately, mightily, regret her decisions and I feel bad for her. I think the parents of the boy, are probably devastated, and going over in their mind, why they didn't see this. No parent, who loves their child, wants a dead kid, or a kid who is living in prison. I feel for the young man, too, these diags are hard enough for parents to live with but imagine having to be the actual teen, living with these diags.
One thing we did not do, was ever share our hobby of target shooting. We never even let him aim, or shoot, the first firearm. We did teach him, to assume that all firearms are loaded, that if he found himself in the position of ever holding a firearm to never point it at anyone, and if he were at someone else's home and saw one, just do not handle it, period.

The thing folks don't realize though, is that typically, you're not gonna find kids with difficult diags, at school competitions, with parents in the bleachers, screaming their heads off, snapping photos, waving pompoms, buying prom dresses, or renting a tux, and bonding over sports, cheer-leading, or discussing the latest new purse style, or brand of jeans, that's on the wish list. So I get wanting something in common to try and break the silence, b/c teens are not big talkers anyway, but we made the choice to just not even target practice, ourselves, when the kids were home, and by these two kids' ages we'd taken the firearms to another location, that was inaccessible. Again, I never thought mine would hurt anyone, but thought he might hurt himself.

You can't be there 24/7/365, and ya gotta sleep sometime. Life is a Crapshoot as it is, so you can only try to your best, and pray some of it sticks.

Ha! Not quite on our honeymoon in Haight Ashbury. About nine months later, but still newlywed enough. Hard to believe it was 50 years ago this past summer. The stories I could tell.

No one will truly recover from this tragedy. As Borndem said, the only ones resting in true peace are the Fricker parents. Life is hell for everyone else. I can&#8217;t even imagine, but I wish them eventual peace, if possible.

Thank you so much for showing such wisdom surrounding firearms and giving up an enjoyable hobby for your son&#8217;s benefit and safety. Having run across a photo of the boyfriend target shooting, I wish more parents could see the danger.

 

[courtney2662]

I am not trying to be cutesy when I say: The only ones resting in peace tonight, and for many nights to come, are Scott and Buckley Fricker. It will be a long time for the ones left behind. Such a shame and a tragedy.

I agree, both families have a terrible long road ahead of them, so many questions, so much grief, anger, hurt, fear, what if's, if-only. It is truly tragic.

 

[rsd1200]

I’m sorry you think I’m blaming the Fricker parents. I’m not sure how you got that from this post. I think you have misunderstood the context and intent of my post and perhaps overlooked other posts I’ve made. The Frickers did do the best they could under horrible circumstances. Of course his parents should have been doing all the things I mentioned. I have no knowledge of what they were trying to do at their end, except rumor. Since the Frickers knew about the relationship and some of his attitudes since last summer, my last paragraph (written much earlier) was addressing what could have been done over time to counteract his influence on their daughter without having a showdown. As I said, after we learned more, that sounded a little naive. Once we learned that both of them had issues serious enough to be in this school, it was clear that this was way more complicated than counteracting Nazi ideology.

All I mean by a “peaceful approach” is one that doesn’t escalate a situation verbally or in any other way, especially given these very complex circumstances. I wasn’t suggesting they ignore the situation at all. It couldn’t and shouldn’t be ignored. I was just addressing the fact that there was a lot of verbal and emotional intensity from Sunday night through the intervention with their daughter and confrontation in her bedroom. All very understandable and normal. Not wrong, but obviously, that approach didn’t work. So Wylie and I were talking in retrospect and hypothetically about how one could handle a potentially violent situation. Even that might not work. But as I’ve said, I don’t think the Frickers had any idea how violent he would be, nor how attached their daughter was to him. So, no blame, just sadness that it turned out to be a terrible tragedy. I hope this clears up the misunderstanding.

BBM

I agree. I doubt his parents did either, and in the type of school he was in, I'd say, even some sort just alluding to harming others, would have been taken extremely seriously, whether it was rumored, tweeted, or alluded to, by him, in class. I just don't think this kid had a chance, and his personality disorder was moving toward something much more like anti-social personality disorder. My child never progressed to that (thank you, Lord).

I mean, we are just mammals. The same species but all wired differently. Some of us, a lot more-so, than others. It's so hard because it's your child. You can't think of your baby, as ever capable of something like this (and yes, I see 17 y/o kids, as babies). Their brains are not even fully formed, and hormones are raging, teen pregnancies, they will do anything on a dare, because, "Why not? We're indestructible! Hold my beer!" It's a wonder any of us live past 21. I look at mine sometimes, after an a new adventure, and want to scream at him, hug him, and cry, all at the same time, but cryin' sure doesn't help a d@mn thing.

 

[clearskies1]

There seems to have been no leaks from LE so far, or at least no major leaks. I'm curious about who owns the gun that was used and about what the daughter told LE after the shootings. I thought I read that the daughter was in the same room as the boyfriend when he shot himself. Wondering if she tried to escape or not.

 

[rsd1200]

Ha! Not quite on our honeymoon in Haight Ashbury. About nine months later, but still newlywed enough. Hard to believe it was 50 years ago this past summer. The stories I could tell.

No one will truly recover from this tragedy. As Borndem said, the only ones resting in true peace are the Fricker parents. Life is hell for everyone else. I can&#8217;t even imagine, but I wish them eventual peace, if possible.

Thank you so much for showing such wisdom surrounding firearms and giving up an enjoyable hobby for your son&#8217;s benefit and safety. Having run across a photo of the boyfriend target shooting, I wish more parents could see the danger.

I ran across the photo too. I thought, oh, man. Not that he probably couldn't have gotten hold of one if he wanted one, there's some loopholes that allow that, (and they should be closed, but that's another discussion), and he seemed very capable of either sneaking the car, unless they allowed him free run of the night (they may have even given up. I've seen that too.) Giving up the hobby was a no-brainer for us. We were even careful with video games, I put time limits on gaming, computers, and I monitored phone calls. I was the mother from Hell.

 

[beandawgs]

<modsnip>

ETA: This is not political, to me, at this juncture. This is just our story.

Mine went the way of the Gangsta subculture, but with a distinct interest in Horrorcore Rap. I love music. He'd loved music since he was a baby. I have a pic of him with his first little Playschool Cassette Recorder, and headphones. Totally immersed, in Barney songs, at about age 4. Cute as could be.

There is no "Gangsta" culture here. We live in Appalachia... We have some good old fashioned, good ole boys, but that's about the size of it. Mine dressed the part too. No matter what I bought, he'd get to school, and trade it out, or come back from Dad's with a whole new wardrobe, scrounged from the others, about two sizes too big. Yes there were a handful of other kids who were into the horrorcore too, and gangsta look. Birds of a feather. (I have 2-3 of his friends, who come by to check in on me ever so often, these days. ). Has anyone here listened to Horrorcore? I listened to it, out of curiosity and checking to see what he was "into", and am NO shrinking violet, but, based on some of the trouble we were having, I didn't feel it was a genre I should support, at home. His favorite? ICP. What was his first underage tatt? A large Hatchetman, on his forearm. I decided, NO rap, then (and I even like rap).

Ffwd, 15+ years, and many wars later, w/ music snuck in constantly, combined with chasing him around the county, visiting nearly ever jail in a 100 mile radius, and, when looking back, I should'a picked my battles and just let him have his rap. Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath likely saved my life. My son didn't turn out to be a killer, because he wrote disturbing, (to me, as a mother), lyrics.

He went into that kind of music, however, that is his outlet. I was taking away his outlet. He still writes, does some shows, creates vids, and is locally fairly popular (for our region). I've even gone to a couple of his shows. He's a heck of a showman. He wears Riddle Box clothes, and the like, almost all the time, when he's not in county... No, he's still not got life figured out, but he's not violent. He has a good heart, and is very creative, but the word "No", was not included in his vocabulary. His reactions have tempered with time and we still argue and fight, but end every call or goodbye, with an "I love you". He's back on meds now, but has lost that little "spark", in his eyes. That's the bad part of meds. He's more calm now, though, and going through another drug treatment program. Yep, another one. He's not really an addict though. He self medicates, and sometimes he doesn't get it right, b/c he is not a doctor, so we've had some scares there too. He told my parents that he didn't know what he'd do without me. The feeling is mutual. It's been a long ride, but I would never give him up, nor give up on him. My guess is that the parents of these two kids felt the same. (If you ever find this, son, and know it's me, I love you. :heartbeat: Just trying to help others, understand.)

I hear you - I ask myself if this were my son what would I have done - and I still know I would never, ever be able to accept any Nazi talk, paraphernalia , etc. It hits too close to home - I grew up across the street from a Auschwitz child survivor, she was my classmate's adopted mother - I can't hear the talk that kids like Nick and Amelia were talking - that the Holocaust was made up. I saw the numbers on her mother's arm, I lived the fear and pain her mother had - her mother would have us do chores at home, folding towels, and would become very angry if they weren't perfectly folded (I assume that the Nazis punished her if she didn't work hard enough). Her mother also would never let my friend ride in a car with my parents or anyone else, I think she was afraid she would lose her (to a car accident or something). She never openly talked about Auschwitz but I also think she may have been one of Mengele's children operated on so she couldn't have children of her own. So sorry, that kind of talk in my home would never been acceptable at any point and would have been grounds for severe punishment. My daughter would no longer have a phone or would return to that school. I would have told the boy you are never welcome on my property again. But I also would have had LE and an attorney drive that home with his parents. I don't want to sound as if I'm judging the girl's parents, I'm not , I don't personally know this boy, I just know that the Nazi stuff would have thrown me over the edge. That's just how I would have responded - I wouldn't have assumed he's just a stupid teen , I guess I like to think I would have sensed how evil that boy is.

 

[Jennifer17]

I hear you - I ask myself if this were my son what would I have done - and I still know I would never, ever be able to accept any Nazi talk, paraphernalia , etc. It hits too close to home - I grew up across the street from a Auschwitz child survivor, she was my classmate's adopted mother - I can't hear the talk that kids like Nick and Amelia were talking - that the Holocaust was made up. I saw the numbers on her mother's arm, I lived the fear and pain her mother had - her mother would have us do chores at home, folding towels, and would become very angry if they weren't perfectly folded (I assume that the Nazis punished her if she didn't work hard enough). Her mother also would never let my friend ride in a car with my parents or anyone else, I think she was afraid she would lose her (to a car accident or something). She never openly talked about Auschwitz but I also think she may have been one of Mengele's children operated on so she couldn't have children of her own. So sorry, that kind of talk in my home would never been acceptable at any point and would have been grounds for severe punishment. My daughter would no longer have a phone or would return to that school. I would have told the boy you are never welcome on my property again. But I also would have had LE and an attorney drive that home with his parents. I don't want to sound as if I'm judging the girl's parents, I'm not , I don't personally know this boy, I just know that the Nazi stuff would have thrown me over the edge. That's just how I would have responded - I wouldn't have assumed he's just a stupid teen , I guess I like to think I would have sensed how evil that boy is.

There is a reason that Germany, the very perpetrators of this horror have faced their demons, been honest about the atrocities and admitted guilt and will not allow any silly young men who think that they have some superiority because they were born white 75 or more years after the event. A 17 year in the US old knows much more than an an eighty year old who was there.

 

[rsd1200]

I hear you - I ask myself if this were my son what would I have done - and I still know I would never, ever be able to accept any Nazi talk, paraphernalia , etc. It hits too close to home - I grew up across the street from a Auschwitz child survivor, she was my classmate's adopted mother - I can't hear the talk that kids like Nick and Amelia were talking - that the Holocaust was made up. I saw the numbers on her mother's arm, I lived the fear and pain her mother had - her mother would have us do chores at home, folding towels, and would become very angry if they weren't perfectly folded (I assume that the Nazis punished her if she didn't work hard enough). Her mother also would never let my friend ride in a car with my parents or anyone else, I think she was afraid she would lose her (to a car accident or something). She never openly talked about Auschwitz but I also think she may have been one of Mengele's children operated on so she couldn't have children of her own. So sorry, that kind of talk in my home would never been acceptable at any point and would have been grounds for severe punishment. My daughter would no longer have a phone or would return to that school. I would have told the boy you are never welcome on my property again. But I also would have had LE and an attorney drive that home with his parents. I don't want to sound as if I'm judging the girl's parents, I'm not , I don't personally know this boy, I just know that the Nazi stuff would have thrown me over the edge. That's just how I would have responded - I wouldn't have assumed he's just a stupid teen , I guess I like to think I would have sensed how evil that boy is.

I understand. I am absolutely against the Nazi propaganda. We should never forget, lest history repeat itself. We have a duty to speak out against such beliefs. I don't know his home-life. The Nazi stuff may have been to generate shock, and attention, (bad attention is still attention) but, I honestly think he'd fallen in with someone online, or gotten onto a Nazi Party / White Supremacist site, and, with his particular problems, he felt welcome. He's probably isolated, few, if any, friends, angry, and he gets into some chat-room... We've seen the banter on certain boards, but we're adults. If the parents are Nazis and have a troubled child, that, imo, could cause them to miss some pretty big red flags. The Nazi Party/White Supremacists are not looking for this kind of media. They want the media attention where someone punches, a peaceful Nazi Party member, who is just fulfilling his right to peaceably assemble. /S

If this were me, I'd have put the skids on it back in the summer, when she was bragging about her new bf's, very flawed, knowledge of history. There would not have been seven months of two hours per night phone calls and I'd take to sleeping in her room with a ball glove and a bat so I could be ready to go to ball practice in the morning.

 

[beandawgs]

There is a reason that Germany, the very perpetrators of this horror have faced their demons, been honest about the atrocities and admitted guilt and will not allow any silly young men who think that they have some superiority because they were born white 75 or more years after the event. A 17 year in the US old knows much more than an an eighty year old who was there.

The scary part is I think that this boy has no capacity to love or feel empathy - I think he's a raging anti social personality disorder. Its scary that people like that exist. I don't think even meeting my friend's mother, visiting Auschwitz or anything would change his mind. My older son came home from middle school once sharing an awful "joke" about the Holocaust he'd heard at school. I explained to him why, with details, he can't ever talk like that and he got it right away. He's a good boy, and I think hadn't come face to face with the reality that we are all in some way affected by the Holocaust, and some of us affected personally. I know the school must be aware of the kids talking like that - they had all the 8th graders read "Night" by Elie Weisel (I was actually in his class at Boston U). It does worry me that there's a whole generation now of people who don't personally know the Holocaust , which is why we must Never Forget.

 

[Jennifer17]

I understand. I am absolutely against the Nazi propaganda. We should never forget, lest history repeat itself. We have a duty to speak out against such beliefs. I don't know his home-life. The Nazi stuff may have been to generate shock, and attention, (bad attention is still attention) but, I honestly think he'd fallen in with someone online, or gotten onto a Nazi Party / White Supremacist site, and, with his particular problems, he felt welcome. He's probably isolated, few, if any, friends, angry, and he gets into some chat-room... We've seen the banter on certain boards, but we're adults. If the parents are Nazis and have a troubled child, that, imo, could cause them to miss some pretty big red flags. The Nazi Party/White Supremacists are not looking for this kind of media. They want the media attention where someone punches, a peaceful Nazi Party member, who is just fulfilling his right to peaceably assemble.

If this were me, I'd have put the skids on it back in the summer, when she was bragging about her new bf's, very flawed, knowledge of history. There would not have been seven months of two hours per night phone calls and I'd take to sleeping in her room with a ball glove and a bat so I could be ready to go to ball practice in the morning.

Oh God bless the peaceful Nazi supporters. Poor misunderstood little petals that they are

 

[rsd1200]

The scary part is I think that this boy has no capacity to love or feel empathy - I think he's a raging anti social personality disorder. Its scary that people like that exist. I don't think even meeting my friend's mother, visiting Auschwitz or anything would change his mind. My older son came home from middle school once sharing an awful "joke" about the Holocaust he'd heard at school. I explained to him why, with details, he can't ever talk like that and he got it right away. He's a good boy, and I think hadn't come face to face with the reality that we are all in some way affected by the Holocaust, and some of us affected personally. I know the school must be aware of the kids talking like that - they had all the 8th graders read "Night" by Elie Weisel (I was actually in his class at Boston U). It does worry me that there's a whole generation now of people who don't personally know the Holocaust , which is why we must Never Forget.

I think you are right on the anti-social personality disorder (IANAD though). My seven y/o would get it, explained age appropriately, of course. That's what I meant earlier about him not having a chance. I think he was wired wrong from the git-go. It's very sad that this sort of disorder happens in folks, but it does.

 

[rsd1200]

Oh God bless the peaceful Nazi supporters. Poor misunderstood little petals that they are

You obviously have a problem with me. That is not what I meant at all.