I appreciate all of your deep, thoughtful takes on this case. You have such wisdom! I don't know that I have even made it to the level of truly sleuthing yet. But I'll share what I have right now because I believe there are others who are fairly paralyzed like me.
I mentioned my boys earlier, 20yo twins. Older by two minutes, W is bipolar and has a temper that won't quit but he's also not capable of supporting himself, extremely immature and sometimes so sensitive and sweet that it hurts my heart. P is autistic and schizophrenic. He was so full of rage from about 2 to 15 that I absolutely knew he would kill me. He broke my nose when he was 4 and controlled our home for so many years. Then he fell in love with God and got even more introspective and stopped being violent. Both are a lucky moment away from hurting someone depending on how severe they are even at any given time although they are med-compliant all the time. I have protected them every moment from their premature birth through this very day.
When I see Jenise, I don't even like to use her initials. She is beautiful and full of life and absolutely joyous. I feel like I can see her running throughout the neighborhood, giving other moms dandelions she picked.
When I think of GG, there is no name, only initials. I actually had to stop to figure out his name. To me, he exercised tremendous self-control all the time. I have no idea how tall he is but he is small to me with very big muscles, almost like he is bursting at the seams. I think he had to work hard to be as good as the others and to fit in. I think he was quiet at school but like my W, but probably not that way at home. But one day for some reason, he lost control. He would have eventually anyway but it happened when he was a child. The courts may call him an adult but a 17yo boy isn't a grown-up.
Both of their lives are over and their families have to shift and find a new way. Was it his one unlucky moment to hurt someone? Was he tired or suddenly unable to keep it all in?
She was beautiful, happy and free and now she's gone. He was broken and hidden and how he will pay for not getting help or keeping it in for the rest of his life.
The loss of both of them breaks my heart. Like Alanna Gallagher, she was a sweetheart with the smile that could make you cry. He, like Tyler Holder, turned into a monster because he couldn't show what he was holding in and nobody knew that he needed help or they did and didn't know how to help.
Just like any parent can't be glad for those wonderfully joyous 6 years that ended violently and suddenly, I can't be glad that he's going to be locked up for the rest of his life because I believe he has been emotionally that way for too long already.
I hurt for both of them and those that love them.
eace:
