WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 8

[Cubby]

The idea that her mother would push her to marry SM is extremely far fetched. She is russian, he isn't. Why would her mother push her to marry him? I don't think so.

Agree. IIRC they were dating 7 years or so prior to getting married.

 

[hollyblue]

This is really sad b/c she has a mental illness. She might not be a fantastic person, but would this really have happened if she weren't mentally ill? Did she start out loving her husband? Did they ever have a normal relationship? I find myself intensely curious about the relationship between them.

I don't mean to cast any aspersions on the husband. I believe he's blameless in the disappearance. But he is not acing his lie detector tests (and I realize they are not always accurate) and it's making me wonder if he knows more bad things about her than he is telling. Maybe he let her get away with some stuff and he's now regretting it. For example: HOW do you force a kid to sleep till 2 pm? And whatever method she used for that could also be how she left them at home for extended periods. I wonder if he knows or suspects something about her methods.

There are so many things in this case that are just out of the ordinary.
I'm having a hard time trying to reason why he would allow her behavior to continue for so long before trying to set boundaries and for her to seek professional help? There is a reason. ? Did or does JB have something "over" on SM?

I understand there may be a cultural difference for some of their behaviors, but his enabling her was to an extreme. Him letting her control the household...and them--- to an unbelievable level of dysfunction. (Can't help thinking he was made to relieve himself in a container of sorts and then get rid of it in the toilet.) I'd really like to know if he's had an evaluation or has spoken to a therapist --because his reaction to the whole situation was not healthy and he seemed so vulnerable.

After everything we have heard (and I'm feeling there are definitely more shoes to drop) I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner...or that one or both of the children haven't been seriously ill. Of course, we can honestly speculate...that mentally....little MM has suffered immensely already.

JMO, but the interpersonal relationships between the major players here and on the peripheral must be a very tangled web. Curious the roles each played...and more...how they were perceived by each person...and others. So askewed. :waitasec:

 

[SurfieTX]

For date documentation purposes:

The owner of the site, Brandon Wade, said police contacted him on Nov. 10 asking for any information he could provide on it. Wade's staff turned over to police a list of login information and messages to and from the account.

......

On the page, which was created July 25, a person identifying herself as "JB" says she is "looking for financial stability and assistance.

......

The last time Biryukova, or the person behind the account, accessed the account was October 26, Wade said.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45303683/ns/local_news-seattle_wa/


ETA: Note that police contacted him. That means most of her computer information has been analyzed.

 

[Cubby]

Sorry if this was discussed in thread #7 (got shut down before I read it all) but wasn't there an allegation by JB that SM told her she should prostitute herself on the street? Does anyone know when that was?

Given the sugar baby revelation, I'm wondering if maybe she had been pursuing a similar arrangement previously and SM found out and expressed how akin that is to a prostitute standing on a corner.

I thought the same thing when I initially saw the sugar baby/daddy info.

 

[LunaticFringe]

This woman needs to be blindfolded and locked inside of a hoarder's home.Take off that blindfold and she'll start singing.....

 

[kiwijayne]

I know this may sound awful and terribly horrible but what if she ""sold" Sky to feather her nest? She obviously has no morals how she gets money.

 

[SurfieTX]

I have to say, LE is doing a bang up job of isolating her. They talk twice a day about her to the media. CPS has custody of her daughter, they brought her husband and attorney on board. And now, they have let her know that they have spoken to all of her potential sugar daddies.

 

[Cubby]

I fell asleep last night thinking about the following possible scenario.

M is left to be the primary caretaker for her baby brother while mommy leaves them alone often and for extended periods of time. M is already well trained by mommy on how not to trigger her and be a good girl. Sky gets sick, tired, is whiny, crying while mom is out who knows where. M parrots what her mommy does and gives him medicine, vitamins, an herbal remedy? or does something trying to help but actually harms the baby because she is too young to know better.

JB comes home and M tells her how big of a girl she was helping her baby brother, who mom finds deceased. She hushes the girl off to bed, or another room, while telling M all along she did a good job. Mom then has to come up with something because she knows she's screwed and Sky's death is a result of an accident from neglect. She disposes of him, happens to see this particular episode of Law and Order SVU and decides that's the story she'll run with in the hopes everyone will buy it, she'll get a slap on the hand and retain primary custody.

I don't think she beat the kids. I simply think she was so engrossed in her compulsions she left the primary caregiving to her 4 yr old.

JMO

 

[claudicici]

Thanks Surfie. In that link you provided I found this to be interesting:



BBM. I wonder if she had given little Sky something to knock him out so she could carry out her extensive cleaning rituals for the holidays without any distractions and SM found out. I don't believe he'd beat her but I'd imagine heated words would be exchanged in that scenario.

I'm not so sure about him not beating her.Maybe he finally had enough and couldn't hold back any longer.I honestly feel like beating her just reading all that stuff and I usually have extreme compassion for people who are ill and have disorders.But she KNEW she was hurting her children,why did she not have enough sense to let someone take over until she would get better?

She brings that "beating" up in her "exchange from hell" blog and how little M witnessed it and as usual S just stays quiet and does not defend himself.

 

[Cubby]

I have to say, LE is doing a bang up job of isolating her. They talk twice a day about her to the media. CPS has custody of her daughter, they brought her husband and attorney on board. And now, they have let her know that they have spoken to all of her potential sugar daddies.

It's got to be eating at her that her STBX/X and his attorney are cooperating like hand in glove with LE. I agree LE is doing a bang up job of isolating her. I'm going to guess the sugar daddy site just scratches the surface of what they may have found on her computer.

JB isn't the wholesome angel she presented herself to be.

JMO

 

[claudicici]

I have to say, LE is doing a bang up job of isolating her. They talk twice a day about her to the media. CPS has custody of her daughter, they brought her husband and attorney on board. And now, they have let her know that they have spoken to all of her potential sugar daddies.

I agree.I also thought the road block was awesome.There is such a huge difference in how this case is handled versus the Baby Lisa case.
IMO it won't be long and they will be able to solve the case.
Unfortunately I don't think Sky is alive but the way this is going they will find him soon and the right person will be prosecuted.
I hope I'm wrong and Sky is alive and will be returned to his daddy.

 

[claudicici]

I fell asleep last night thinking about the following possible scenario.

M is left to be the primary caretaker for her baby brother while mommy leaves them alone often and for extended periods of time. M is already well trained by mommy on how not to trigger her and be a good girl. Sky gets sick, tired, is whiny, crying while mom is out who knows where. M parrots what her mommy does and gives him medicine, vitamins, an herbal remedy? or does something trying to help but actually harms the baby because she is too young to know better.

JB comes home and M tells her how big of a girl she was helping her baby brother, who mom finds deceased. She hushes the girl off to bed, or another room, while telling M all along she did a good job. Mom then has to come up with something because she knows she's screwed and Sky's death is a result of an accident from neglect. She disposes of him, happens to see this particular episode of Law and Order SVU and decides that's the story she'll run with in the hopes everyone will buy it, she'll get a slap on the hand and retain primary custody.

I don't think she beat the kids. I simply think she was so engrossed in her compulsions she left the primary caregiving to her 4 yr old.

JMO

ITA.I believe that is the most likely scenario unfortunately.M was left alone with the baby for more than 12 hours !!!!! with probably nothing to eat!!!!!
oh god,it makes me sick to think about that.
I wonder how they found out about this and how come CPS was not called right then and there? Maybe Sky would still be here now.

 

[BritsKate]

I'm having a hard time trying to reason why he would allow her behavior to continue for so long before trying to set boundaries and for her to seek professional help?

RSBM
I'm not saying its even remotely similar to the situation here but all I can do is refer to my experience. I stayed in an abusive marriage for a decade telling almost no one what was really happening. I was humiliated, embarrassed and honestly believed it was my fault he acted the way he did. I also talked myself into believing I was doing what was best for our children. Both their parents under one roof - as long as the abuse was only directed towards me I thought I could deal with it - never fully realising until much later it always affected them. And finally, like so many others, I thought I could fix my abuser.

Later, when people knew the extent they asked me why I stayed as long as I had. The answer was simple enough...I didn't know how not to. Some people are strong enough to walk away the first time they are threatened, criticised, or bullied but for others they have to learn what is within themselves before they can break away.

JMO and FWIW

 

[not_my_kids]

I'm seeing a lot here that indicates that JB lives a lifestyle that usually is not furthered by having kids around. She is controlling, domineering, the perfect "mistress". And I think that's what she wants to be. I don't see the website posting as soliciting or prostitution related. I see it more as a door to her either attempting to find a willing "slave" or as her attempting to relinqiush that overly controlling side of her personality and find a "master."

I think as the digging continues, that they are going to find postings on sites that are a lot more flat out sexually oriented than the seeking arrangement website. The idea of a sugar daddy isn't someone that sleeps with a younger woman and pays them. The term has been twisted to mean that, but in all actuality, it is usually a relationship where the woman is presented to the world as the girlfriend or escort, but in reality, there is little to no sex. The woman is paid, but it's for giving up her social and personal life in order to present this image. As time has gone on, people have started to twist the original intended meaning of the term. Whether she was interested in it in terms of the old definition or the new, I don't know, but considering all her other seemingly OCD tendencies, it seems more likely that she was seeking a sexless relationship that would still give her a profit margin. MOO.

 

[Cubby]

I'm not so sure about him not beating her.Maybe he finally had enough and couldn't hold back any longer.I honestly feel like beating her just reading all that stuff and I usually have extreme compassion for people who are ill and have disorders.But she KNEW she was hurting her children,why did she not have enough sense to let someone take over until she would get better?

She brings that "beating" up in her "exchange from hell" blog and how little M witnessed it and as usual S just stays quiet and does not defend himself.

I don't buy for a second he laid a hand on her. IIRC JB alleges she was beaten on Christmas for allowing one of the children to sleep too late. Yet, we saw photos of Christmas eve and Christmas day while her family was there. Are we to believe he beat her while her family stood around and watched?

Seriously, this woman is whacked. It's more than evident when she didn't get her way in court the false allegations against dad escalated and got more severe. Including what many woman like JB do and toss out the worst of the worst accusing their STBX of sexually molesting the children.
I have seen this identical behavior time after time. Some to the extreme it's been decades since the alienating parent lost all parental rights.

Anyone who has participated in single parent forums in which both genders participate has seen this too many times. It's as blindingly obvious as the cases we see over and over and over when a step parent comes in and a child is hurt. Too many times these fathers are completely alienated from their children by the time they go through the process of clearing themself from all criminal wrongdoing. JB was clearly on a mission to win at any and all costs. Sadly, it likely cost her son his life.

moo

 

[Cubby]

ITA.I believe that is the most likely scenario unfortunately.M was left alone with the baby for more than 12 hours !!!!! with probably nothing to eat!!!!!
oh god,it makes me sick to think about that.
I wonder how they found out about this and how come CPS was not called right then and there? Maybe Sky would still be here now.

BBM. I believe this was all discovered after Sky's disappearance. MSM indicated mom admitted to leaving the children alone often and for extended periods of time during her interrogation with LE the Sunday Sky disappeared.

I think dad tried his best to demonstrate how and why this was likely to happen, but he was unfortunately not taken seriously in his battle to help his children prior to this tragic 'disappearance'.

jmo

 

[Janeumayer]

I think we have a major contender here for possibly beating Casey Anthony out as the mother from hell. I think Julia might actually take that title away from her with everything that is coming to light.

Meanwhile - Julia Biryukova - where is Sky?


~jmo~

I respectfully disagree. I think the Prize Winner is Lena Lunsford. Have you checked Aliayah Lunsford's new missing poster? Evil wouldn't even begin to describe her (Lena).

 

[HRCODEPINK]

I can think of a few off the top of my head, but they are all unhealthly.

$$ and get her daughter out of her house and hair for starters. Actually, the way it sounds, the wedding sounded more like a business deal than anything. IMO

I have been thinking about that for a couple days. Even before the "dating site" came up. I don't see a woman like this being okay with a simple wedding, much less one in a kitchen. I have been afraid to post it, but I wonder if that is part of the reason why he just did whatever she said and I can't help but wonder if it wasn't her idea to leave little Sky in the Target parking lot. This in no way means that I think that this is an excuse for that behavior, but I wonder if she held his ability to stay in this country over his head and if they were shopping for Ms birthday and she wanted (read: demanded) help in the store and said that she needed a break from little Sky? Everyone Justified it with the fact that they were in a luxury vehicle and he would be fine and would just sleep. I started wondering about this when in the middle of his interview he started talking about how he loved this country and his state. Does anyone know if there is a certain amount of time that you would have to be married before getting divorced without the foreign parent being deported?

Again, it in no way excuses leaving the child alone and is all pure speculation, but I can't help but wonder, because it sure seems like she wore the pants.

ETA: I also find her statements about his abuse and suggesting her be a prostitute on the street ironic, since it appears she may not mind being a prostitute online and wonder if this isn't the first time and set off his statement, if it was ever said.

 

[Janeumayer]

I can think of a few off the top of my head, but they are all unhealthly.

$$ and get her daughter out of her house and hair for starters. Actually, the way it sounds, the wedding sounded more like a business deal than anything. IMO

It is very common for Russians to get into "arranged marriages" with american men. So it is very possible in my opinion that she may have married for money and a visa, and not for love.

 

[kiwijayne]

I respectfully disagree. I think the Prize Winner is Lena Lunsford. Have you checked Aliayah Lunsford new missing poster? Evil wouldn't even begin to describe her.

Agrees it is devastating to see the flagrant disregard that some parents have for their children. To some parents they are just disposable it is like you lose one you can just have another. Sadly noone is there to really put their foot down and stop it.