I get that, completely. As an autism mom, I am very particular about who watches my son when I cannot, who can drive him somewhere, who can pick him up from school and so on.
I completely understand the struggle, and we don’t know all of the facts, maybe this was a one time emergency pick up thing- and grandpa was doing the best he can with what he has.
Whatever the reason I hope this story can serve to shine light on areas where resources are lacking and families need help. Because so many do their best to deal with these issues on their own because there just isn’t enough supports available.
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This is sadly, the truth! There are not enough resources for families to learn how to cope with some behaviors that autistic children have- some on a daily basis, some just when their routines are disrupted. Each autistic child is different- so one may run off several times a day, while some may not for weeks at a time or learn from early intervention how to cope with moments when they feel like running.
I have several friends with autistic children. One of them, when he gets stressed out, plays the drums for an hour until he releases whatever it is that is bothering him- it could simply be that my friend bought a different brand of his favorite flavor of yogurt- even though it's still blueberry, it has to be Dannon, or he gets upset and runs to his drum set. He's in his 20's now- great kid, very warm and kind young man, but in the early years, it was tough going until my friend and her husband learned coping skills- sometimes they had to try two or three different things when he was younger to calm him down.
Another one of my friend's son is another great kid. While he didn't take off running, he would scream like someone was trying to hurt him or go down on the floor and rock back and forth, muttering to himself. She had to leave him on the floor, sometimes in the middle of a store or a restaurant, and let him rock back and forth until he was ready to get up and leave with her. The mean comments people would make to her about not being able to control her son, why did she bother bringing him to the store with a behavioral problem, blah blah- so hurtful to her, it just breaks my heart with all that she's gone through. She would try to explain he was autistic to people, and still, the mean comments from adults kept coming.
A relative of mine had to put her autistic son in a group home- he was taller and much stronger than her, and she just couldn't control him physically anymore. He would knock her down to run off, and she was devastated to have to put him in the group home, but for his own safety, she had to.
All three women are now divorced, the first friend in this post just recently got divorced, but not because of their son.
The other two women- both husbands left, because they couldn't cope with having an autistic child. So these poor ladies had the worry and concern to deal with daily all by themselves. All good kids, and two out of three are drummers.
My hat is off to anyone who has an autistic child that tries so hard to give them a happy and great home, only to have strangers and even family and friends make rude comments.