Wheelerguy
Active Member
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2019
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I take these writings to be somewhat clear, although it is just an interpretation.yikes, these journals of Alex's are a bit dark eh?
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Her love for JM was her priority, and I’m guessing she asked AW to “distract” her from the issues she was having disentangling from JM, even as she eventually showed she still was in love with JM.
In a very dramatic way, AW was saying that she couldn’t love two people. That loving JM CC inevitably meant she couldn’t love AW (my annihilation). Pursuing JM with the hope it would work out meant she no longer intended the same with AW.
The cannibalism part is almost certainly philosophical. He refers to cannibalism in a metaphorical way elsewhere in his writings, it is only EM (and her defense team) that suggested his use of the word “cannibalism” was literal. It’s sick, but it helps their case.
A lot of his writings to her had a reciprocal cause and effect idea. If you want to use me then you must also want to be used. If you fully love me then you must want to be fully loved in return.
This makes it easier, to me, to understand some of the more fantastic ideas he conveys in his writings.
He doesn’t want to literally eat her any more than he wants to be eaten.
In short, he is dramatically describing his unrequited love, and the bitterness that has caused.
EM testified that AW considered himself to be a revenant, or someone that has returned from the dead. In some cases with a purpose to accomplish (I think this last part was suggested by the defense, perhaps to embellish the idea that he was on some kind of mission to do something to her?).
It’s pretty clear, at least to me, that is not at all what he was saying. He implied that he was left with a revenant IN HER, when she died to him romantically.
The line, “a person, who spoke of a warm caress while offering a vampire’s touch” is just BRUTAL. He was in love with her and realized she was just using him.
Again, all just my opinion from what writings of AW I’ve read juxtaposed with EM’s testimony.