Yes, I do agree she should have just left him and made arrangements with her family/relatives to help look after the two children growing up, but that can't be changed now unfortunately.
What arrangements?
Let's say I'm 20yo with 2 little kids, married since 15. My husband attacked me and threatened me. Possibly it was just one time thing, possibly he has no plans of hurting me - but I don't know that, I can't be sure of it, Im afraid for my safety and my family agreed for me to wed at 15, I'm not close to my family, and it's 1962. So likely I have no support.
What arrangements can I make to make sure I'll be safe, that we will get a peaceful divorce and I'll be able to co-parent with my ex?
Some people got married pretty young and loved each other for long long years but more often than not such marriage was just an attempt to get out of a bad family situation. There could be not much of an option for her to make any arrangements without being constantly abused.
<modsnip - quoted post was removed (not victim friendly)>
Somehow neither her family or her husband were able to say when exactly was she seen last time. That's pretty good indicator that they either didn't knew the person well or didn't care, or with some reason weren't able to know what was going on - one way or another: not the most reliable sources of info about the reality of what she was struggling with (not even implying any ill will or neglect, just lack of ability to tell with honest confidence of knowing).
<modsnip - quoted post was removed (not victim friendly)>
There was a whitness of her leaving and being far away from home and rather quick conclusion from the investigators that she left on her own accord.
<modsnip - quoted post was removed (not victim friendly>
She didn't left "her" kids with him, they were their kids, his kids as well.
Plenty of people are abusive towards partners but never towards their kids.
Plenty of grandparents dont have much of a connection with their kids but they adore grandchildren and act completely different towards them.
He could have strong family bond with parents and siblings while she didn't.
And he could be not the main/only reason why she feared for her safety.
She fiIed a formal claim. I don't believe a 20-year-old, married at only 15, would file a made-up claim of domestic violence. It all fits with grooming and abuse. She didn't want custody of her children nor have a motive to make a false claim. She just wanted to get away from him. I do think she was "fleeing for her life." JMO.
Maybe not neccessarily grooming - could be but could be not, cause he wasnt much older but for me it doesnt feel like they fell in love, got married and grew apart while growing up. Maybe she or even both of them were pressured to marry, then expected to stay together no matter what. Ive heard about some pretty horrible marriages from back in the day where there was no "baby on the way" kind of pressure but kids were forced to marry with other "reasons" and getting a divorce wasnt an option.
We dont know how it really was but that would be some seriously rare situation if it was like he never acted violently once, but she was such a villain princess she made up that claim, filed false report and disappeared to make it look like he murdered her so he'd suffer from endless suspicions. Such things doesnt come out of the blue, most made-up claims are made by people who are mentally ill (and its unavoidably getting worse and worse with age) or by pathological liars who are no evil masterminds and bit of decent investigation makes it clear that there is quite big of a chance that claim may be made-up.
Really no need for the husband to be some kind of sadistic abusive monster. It could be even one time thing with nothing more than an anger talk. Lets say it was like that, its still a loveless marriage at that point. With no strong family bond, with the past of being wed at 15 in the community (i checked out some more random Graves at the local cemetery and most people were marrying around the age of 20, as in the family of her SIL). She was much younger than other brides, he was much younger than basically all the grooms as well. Whatever led to such an early marriage i cant image the tensions around it were anywhere close to light and i dont mean that her husband caused them. It didn't have to be all on him that she feared for her life. Starting a new life with nothing its far from an easy task and nobody does that without a good reason.
And i probably shouldnt say that, but young princess of evil mastermind, who does not see any serious threat in her family/community/social circle with a husband who wasnt violent towards her once and never threatened her with anything, having cops eating up her fake abuse stories most likely would not leave. Why leave? Itd be perfect environment to thrive and manipulate her way to whatever she wished to get. Even if her wish would be leaving everything and everone behind, taking divorce papers, all her legal documments, clothes and her other stuff, money, car and kids on the back seat. Or without the kids if she wouldnt feel like it. Cause thats what people with ill will and no threats do, or at least are trying to do.
Most of average folks who are not in any sort of extreme situation are just getting a divorce, some support from family, friends or/and the community, often even from their soon-to-be-ex-spouse and then they work their way into another chapter of their lives, co-parenting with their exes as much and as good as they can. Cause thats the easy way out of a failed marriage. If thats possible nobody makes it harder for themselves just to have it harder or make somebody elses life harder in a weird way - that could happen if some mental issues are coming into play, but then again: it doesnt come away without treatment, it unvoidably keeps repeating and escalating. It doesnt sound like it did in her case.
www.wkow.com
