Witnessed DV - What Can I Do?

[Catmommy]

Awaiting and watching for delivery two days ago, from my kitchen window, I saw who I believe to be my brand-new neighbor across the street, throw a punch that connected with a girl he was yelling at. I opened the window and yelled out that I was calling the police and immediately dialed 911. I don't know that they heard me but I suspect they did because they both back tracked behind a privacy fence as my delivery car arrived, then jumped in a car and drove away. When asked, I was able to give a description over the phone of what he was wearing and what she looked like. I could tell them the color of the car but not the make, model or license number. Police came by about 10-15 minutes later and rode by the house twice, but they were gone. Now it looks like the guy (rumored to be an around the corner neighbor's son who moved out because they were "not getting along") is actively moving in across the street, there's a U-Haul backed in and the same black car there. Does anybody have any recommendations on what to do (if anything) or how to handle this going forward? I've been pretty shaken up about this.

 

[Warwick1991]

If the victim is not willing to talk to law enforcement, it is a problem. Some victims of DV take the side of the abuser, and won't press charges. In this situation, both could turn on someone who is attempting to interfere. A friend who was a police officer had responded to situations where the victim joined with the perpetrator, and both were arrested. This is why people often give people involved in DV a wide berth. It can be dangerous for anyone reporting, and first responders as well. I'm not sure what advice to give, but I wouldn't confront them directly and I would avoid interacting with them. At some point, the situation will probably worsen, and LE will be involved.

If it were me, and it was bad enough to report to LE, I would do it anonymously or not at all. People who perpetrate DV have impulse control problems, and can be just as dangerous to outsiders. If you are in an area that allows it, I'd consider owning a pistol for self defense. The new neighbors could pose a threat to others regardless of whether they called 911.

 

[Catmommy]

Thank you, Warwick1991, for your response and advice. That's along the lines of what I've felt and feared but I just couldn't watch him beat up on her without doing something.

 

[Eli9]

Do you have a security camera?

You did the right thing by calling in the assault. Moving forward it's possible that you may never witness another event but if you do I think you have a responsibility to call it in.

Do not befriend these neighbors.

 

[Warwick1991]

I would add that since @Eli9 made note of using a security camera, adding one may helpful if you don't already have one.

 

[Catmommy]

Do you have a security camera?

You did the right thing by calling in the assault. Moving forward it's possible that you may never witness another event but if you do I think you have a responsibility to call it in.

Do not befriend these neighbors.

Ring camera at front and side doors. Security cameras back and side yards. If this is the neighbor's son (and I'm pretty certain it is, he threw out his tenants to move in), he's done tree removal for us before but he's in no form or fashion a friend. And will NEVER be. Thank you for your response, it is much appreciated.

 

[Warwick1991]

People like this can have a negative impact on an entire neighborhood, as neighbors feel uncomfortable on their own street. It's intimidating living near violent people with explosive tempers.

 

[Jaming114]

I will be honest if you ever witnessed a DV situation. Always report them anonymously. DV cases are the bane of LE, its the most hated calls because the moment the suspect is taken into custody the victim will always side with the suspect and will active fight LE even if she called 911.

Also you don't know how angry the suspect can get. They can even actively target outsiders as well as their feel of control is affected.

I would suggest the same as the above poster do. Ensure your home defense is buffed up. If the guy approaches you or your property and if you feel threaten get a trespassing order or restraining should he try to intimidate you. I would suggest the Trepassing order first in case he comes to your property, because you don't need to go to court and police would have a file as well.

This is JMO.

 

[Catmommy]

Thank you, Jaming114, this is good advice. I did not give my name or address on the 911 call (I knew the one across the street and gave that one) but if the abuser heard my yell, he knows where it came from. I don't want to feel like I have a target on my back now, but I sort of do. That's why I've reached out here.

 

[Eli9]

Thank you, Jaming114, this is good advice. I did not give my name or address on the 911 call (I knew the one across the street and gave that one) but if the abuser heard my yell, he knows where it came from. I don't want to feel like I have a target on my back now, but I sort of do. That's why I've reached out here.

Ugh, I have a lot of compassion for the way you are feeling.
If it were me I'd kind of lay low for a while and maybe get familiar with their regular routine after they move in. Hopefully they both work outside the home - you said this guy is a tree trimmer so most likely he has a work truck - and you can get a good idea of their regular schedules. I would then set out with a plan to avoid them hard for a couple of months. Let things die down on your end if you know what I mean.

Moving can be super stressful, let's hope this isn't a regular occurrence.

 

[Sweetluv]

@Catmommy ..you did the right thing by calling! Sorry your feeling anxious about it.

 

[Catmommy]

Ugh, I have a lot of compassion for the way you are feeling.
If it were me I'd kind of lay low for a while and maybe get familiar with their regular routine after they move in. Hopefully they both work outside the home - you said this guy is a tree trimmer so most likely he has a work truck - and you can get a good idea of their regular schedules. I would then set out with a plan to avoid them hard for a couple of months. Let things die down on your end if you know what I mean.

Moving can be super stressful, let's hope this isn't a regular occurrence.

Thank you, Eli9, this will be the path I'm taking for now, lying low. I do have a very BIG dog I walk around the property 3-4 times a day, and our regular route will take us the length of the front of our property at least once daily. We may be able to avoid any interaction. I doubt they'd be eager to talk to me at any rate. Sad, really, our little neighborhood is a circle with only 18 houses and all the neighbors know each other. Heck, we've welcomed all the new ones with flowers or a house plant. Not this time. If I never lay eyes on them again, it'll be just fine with me, frankly.