Amraann said:
In essence this translates to those that cannot plan and be responsible should be protected at the expense of the rest of us? WHY?
I agree its not about fairness.. however the statement that ton's of people could not afford children otherwise indicates to me that it is about fairness.
The flipside would be "its not fair that those people cannot afford to have children don't have them" In otherwords these laws are very fair to people who want children but maybe can't afford them.
I do not see a downside if those unable to afford to do not have children.
The stress involved in parenting can be enourmous ...couple that with financial issues? Why should everyone else suffer because those not financially able want children and without better planning have them?
If I want a corvette or a big house... No one is crying me a river that I cannot afford it. Yet a child? ... and equal expense and certainly a much more precious thing can just be had without.... say.. the same planning as buying a corvette??
IMO if I cannot afford the corvette it gets repo'd .. the child? IF the child is lucky I struggle hard to afford them.. I think we read here often enough the worst results of lack of planning.
What I meant by "cannot otherwise afford to get pregnant" is not that I'm looking for support when I haven't planned well enough to have kids - it's that a pregnancy is unpredictable. It may go well, no problems, you work right up until the day you deliver - and that's what you plan for - she was well enough planned for that - she had a job, and all was fine. But you can't predict if you will have twins, a weak cervix, or any number of abnormal issues. Your child may have a defective heart, or any number of birth defects. It's just the same as any other health problem.
Your friend's employee was not irresponsible, nor was this woman necessarily in getting pregnant. There's every reason to think that you'll be able to work through in both of those jobs, and that's it. But when something goes wrong, when there's an abnormal pregnancy, it should be treated like any other disease - a sudden back problem could also limit your ability to lift for a few months; but you don't hear about irresponsible lack of planning when that employee expects their employer to absorb that cost. A case of cancer can put you out on bedrest during chemo for a few months - again, where's the upset about a lack of planning there?
How many women could afford to get pregnant if that 'planning' standard was held? It'd mean women would be given a choice - for all jobs that are incompatible with pregnancy, you either cannot work there, or you must remain childless for as long as you want the job. For all other jobs (most of them), you have to only become pregnant if you can afford not only to have a child and take whatever maternity leave is necessary, but also you must be able to afford to lose the job and take at least 4 months unpaid with no job, and the ability to have someone on hand to fetch and carry for you during bedrest.
How many people can actually afford this? Maybe at most 30% of all current mothers? I've got a great job and a supportive husband, and we couldn't afford that - I couldn't get pregnant at that standard. We've got savings, but if I had to accept that I would lose my job by getting pregnant, and would have to find a new one after birth (hopefully) - we couldn't afford that!
Both cases - your friends and this woman - the issue wasn't the pregnancy - the issue was a not standard pregnancy problem, and a business not wanting to deal with the limitations from this temporary disability. Twins is a pregnancy complication. So is anything that requires bedrest. So I don't think it's about a lack of planning in either case - it's about dealling with a medical complication in an employee's life - sure, spawned by the choice to become pregnant, just as so many other temporary disabilities are spawned by other choices we make (to overeat a little, to play sports, to smoke, etc.) - but it's just a medical problem, a temporary disability.
It may not be fair to the employer that they have to hold the job, make accomodations - but I just can't see the alternative as being a world most of us would do well in. Planning only goes so far - I don't think people should have to lose their jobs for such issues - because they got pregnant and didn't plan on having twins or being put on bedrest; because they smoked and didn't plan on needing time off to get chemo; because they were a few pounds overweight and got any one of the multitude of medical problems that are linked to your weight (that's a huge list - practically all of them); because they played a game of soccer, threw out their back, and couldn't lift boxes for a few months. I don't see a difference between pregnancy and these - other than one difference - society has an interest in making sure that pregnancy happens - we have no such interest in smoking, sports, or overeating. If pregnancy disabilities aren't to be respected, none of these others should be either. Anyone who throws their back out doing anything voluntary should not expect any accomodation at all from their employer during their temporary disability.