"In her 2008 book
Girls Like Us, author Sheila Weller includes a detailed account of Simon's love affair with musician
Dan Armstrong, and suggests that he was the inspiration for "You're So Vain." Simon and Armstrong crossed paths while performing in nightclubs, and formally met in 1968, when she brought her guitar in to be fixed in Armstrong's Guitar Repair Shop. Initially, Simon seemed to have little in common with Danny Armstrong. The married, father of five, was ten years her senior. And his working class roots were several levels below her on the social scale. Although Simon described him as an arrogant, opinionated Neanderthal, she found him to be overwhelmingly handsome and very gifted musically. Armstrong found her attractive and sufficiently talented but always played it cool and didn't come on too much. This of course only made Simon only more intrigued. After a few months of flirting, and a final separation from his wife, the couple started dating.
"In his 2012 biography,
More Room in a Broken Heart, author and music journalist
Stephen Davis claims that Carly Simon and Danny Armstrong, had sexual chemistry so intense that Carly, who called herself, "naive" at the time, became experimental, having sex on dares, in cars, parks and in other public places.[SUP]
[18][/SUP] Although both were busy with their new careers, Simon made herself more available in the relationship. And Armstrong, like many others in their circle, harbored a bit of resentment for Simon's air of privilege. Despite, their differences, the couple dated for nearly two years, until Simon began growing distant. She started spending a lot of time with her friend, songwriter,
Jacob Brackman and moved into her own apartment. Dan, who was used to having the upper hand for most of their relationship, was surprised when Carly broke things off. But he handled it well and moved to L.A. to start up a new business. Carly did not handle the breakup well at all. She felt immediate regret and tried to make up with Dan, but was unsuccessful. Her heartbreak over losing him inspired the song, "Dan, My Fling," which appears on her first album. For the next year, Simon tried to reconnect with Armstrong but got no response. Simon even flew out to L.A. a few times while Armstrong was there, making it possible that he was, as the song lyrics go, the man who "walked into the party." Over the years, Carly continued reaching out to Dan at different points and places, but Armstrong had moved on. Carly claimed to have unrequited love for Danny Armstrong for many years. Weller writes that Armstrong had a cocky, boastful personality, once claiming to be the first and only electric guitar specialist in the world. He was also quoted as saying that he,"just plain owned New York at the time."[SUP]
[19][/SUP] Dan's full name, Daniel Kent Armstrong, contains all three letters of Carly's clue."
The following lyrics give us some insight into the interplay between Carly and Danny Armstrong. This (Dan, My Fling) was a song that preceded You're So Vain (this one was on a 1971 album, and You're So Vain was written in 1971). I'm intrigued with the idea that YSV was a continued shot in an attempt to get him back, and/or express frustration at not having been able to do so, and/or simply vent some emotional something-or-other in the aftermath of a white-hot romance that had ended for a romantic.
Also intrigues that DMF was not written by her, but rather by her close friend Jacob Brackman, who apparently was her emotional crutch when she and DA split ways. He saw the whole aftermath play out (and presumably the last throes of good times as well, plus the split itself, if not more), and apparently penned his observer's impression of her emotions, for her to sing. YSV would then be her own expression, more sassy and aloof, less needy - but again, with a bit of the undercurrent of "no hell like a woman scorned" flowing below its surface.
Lyrics to "Dan My Fling"
I said that I felt jailed up
As if our doors were nailed up
I said I needed separate places,
Parties, room to move around in.
I said I needed my fling
Had to get out and do some other thing.
It took me months to calculate
That I had nothing left without you-
(Chorus) Dan, my fling is all flung out
Now I've got to fall back on dreams
I thought I'd try and write you
I thought I'd try and phone you
I thought I'd try to tell you
That I smell your hair still on my pillow
But you'd just smile to please me
You'd shake your head, you'd tease me -
Remind me it was I who first claimed
That we both required freedom
(Chorus) Dan, my fling is all flung out
Now I've got to fall back on dreams
I'd dream up schemes to meet you,
I'd nonchalantly greet you,
I'd ask you up for coffee
Anytime you had an hour open.
You say you like my hair long,
You ask me if I've written any new songs,
You'd laugh, you'd turn and cross the street
And leave me dizzy with your laughter -
(Chorus) Dan, my fling is all flung out
Now I've got to fall back on dreams
I hear you're leaving this town,
You and some girl gonna travel around,
You bought a car with foldback seats,
you'll camp out by the lakes and forests.
I lie alone in our old bed,
Your laughter it's echoin' inside my head.
I close my eyes, I smell your hair
It's like I haven't slept in years -
(Chorus) Dan, my fling is all flung out
Now I've got to fall back on dreams
