Zahra Baker's Biological Mother

[Fyrecat]

Really? Emily and if she's truthful or REALLY searched hard enough for Zahra and what if and why not....REALLY? I KNEW she should have stayed silent. Her grief is questioned....her motives questioned....her honesty questioned....her love of Zahra questioned....God Bless her.

Agreed. Unless someone walks a mile in someone's shoes, they can't know how it feels. I truly believe this woman did her absolute best. Sadly, I see cases that are similar all the time....they just don't end in murder. But with people passing judgement on others that did their best, and are at their most fragile...

isn't there some saying that says 'judge not 'lest ye be judged' or somthing?

 

[Ilovecheese]

I've never posted before, but I feel very strongly on this point. Yes, you DO have an obligation to make sure a child has contact with the other biological parent, unless a court of law says otherwise. It is not up to either parent, and certainly not a grandparent, to decide that for the child. If a parent is not fit, a judge decides the visitation or lack thereof. And just for the record, I am a single mother with primary custody of one son. I don't particularly care for my son's father, but it is his inherent right to see his son, and although he was an illegal from Australia at the time of our son's birth, it was not my place to deny my son his father whether I liked him or not!

 

[Ilovecheese]

Aaaargh! Sorry, my last posting was in response to bellyup's posting #131. I'm totally new at this, and just got so mad. Apologies...

 

[tehcloser]

Welcome to WS Ilovecheese.

 

[Kat]

There are Father's of children that are not in those children's lifes. For a variety of reasons. Some don't keep contact, some even don't pay support, some don't have a relationship with their children until that child is grown if at all.

There are Mother's of children that are not in those children's lifes too.

I don't conclude that if a Mother or a Father who may have limited access to their child, or have no access to their child (for any reason, by their own choice or not) doesn't feel profound grief when that child is murdered.

I don't know this Mother of Zahra and I don't know her circumstances either. To be bluntly honest, I don't care either way about her circumstances. She is Zahra's Mother and she will always be Zahra's Mother. And she did not have a direct hand in what happened to Zahra. JMHO.

That's just me and my opinion though.

For Zahra's Mom:

Prayers for you Emily. From reading other Mom's and Dad's speak of losing a child to murder I understand that nothing will ever be the same for you. Nothing will ever be normal again. That there is no closure in losing a child or a child to murder. I wish you the best should you ever read this. Sincerely.

 

[sarx]

Did anyone besides me see an uncanny resemblance between biomum and EB? Eerily creepy for me.

 

[tehcloser]

Did anyone besides me see an uncanny resemblance between biomum and EB? Eerily creepy for me.

Sarx, I wasn't going to say anything, but yesss....I noticed.

 

[sarx]

Statistically, I don't know how it's even possible, being that the met in a virtual world. I would get it if he was using match.com or some site, looking for someone that looked like biomum (many people do), but wow....

 

[everyoneneedsavoice]

I commend Emily for having the maturity and foresight to step up to the plate and admit that she wasn't able to care for Zahra at that time...for whatever reason she might have had..right or wrong. IMO, that was very courageous of her to do so and regardless of how she felt later / feels now; I hope that she can find it within herself to see that she did what she felt was best for Zahra at that time. If AB and EB had been courageous enough to do the same thing, maybe Zahra would still be here...because it's obvious that AB failed to properly care for her; as is supported by the multiple articles:

He climbed into the Dodge Dakota he’d arrived in. A missing child poster was taped to the truck’s rear window. The poster is identical to others posted around Hickory and gives Zahra’s physical description. It states, “Zahra has been abused daily by her mother; who is now in jail and is a suspect in her disappearance.”
http://www2.morganton.com/news/2010/nov/03/crowd-taunts-baker-evicted-ar-505700/


Another family friend, Brandy Stapleton, said she took a picture of Zahra more than two months ago in which the child clearly has a bruise under her eye.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/zahra-baker-case-frustration-alleged-abuse-boils/story?id=11877535

And there are more where those came from...

So...I certainly can't fault her for doing what she thought was best for Zahra...that's more than her BIODAD did, so personally, for me...I don't think she failed Zahra...HE did! Even if she didn't look for her until today...if Zahra were safe and still here, she would've found her and one thing is for certain, we wouldn't be sitting here trying to find this angel because of something EB and AB did...allowed to happen...whatever. Emily is as much a victim as the rest of Zahra's family who love her, IMO and I cannot judge her for making the best decision she knew to, at the time, to provide security for Zahra.

Now, if she were hopping into a vehicle with a poster of her missing daughter on it, which states she was abused daily by her father...and she didn't do anything about it...then that would flip the script for me!

All IMO, IHMO and all that!

 

[Paintr]

I have talked to people who have lost a child. They never stop loving or missing their child. No matter how long you are lucky enough to hold your child...five minutes, five days or fifty years...it is never enough time.

My sympathies to Emily. :rose:

 

[MandyLeigh]

Thank you for saying what ( I ) and others are thinking. There is no way mum didn't know where daughter was all these years. I am SURE she loves her daughter and is heart broken and for that i send my prayers to her.

bbm

She did find out where they where located but Adam would pick up and move with no warning and no clue as to where he was going. Which seems no different then what he did here in the states. He was constantly moving.

Unless ED was the kind of person EB was, AB bears a huge portion of the responsibility for not making sure Zahra had contact with her own mother. It is something a parent is obligated to do out of love and caring for the child. (Look at the lengths Kyron's parents went to to make sure he had contact with both of his parents and that he wasn't exposed to negative comments about them.)

Yes, I am sure that there is another side of the story, but ED should not have HAD to search and fight and scrape up funds to find her daughter, because AB had an obligation to keep them in contact.

It's just so ironic to me that he would keep Zahra away from her biomum, then turn her over into the hands of EB. :furious::furious::banghead:

JMO

I agree with you. Why should this woman be forced to search for her child? IMO Adam should not be running and robbing Z of any contact with the mother she cared for. I remember the sweet things Zahra said about her mom and how kindly she spoke of her.

I do not trust or believe he was doing it because he felt it was best for Zahra. Look at the life he did choose for her. He took away her family and medical care to plop her into another country with the worst mother imaginable. She had a horrible life, was abused, neglected and now she is dead. This didn't happen over night. What was best for Z didn't seem to matter.

Dealing with an ex and having shared custody is not always pleasant. It takes work and the ability to give up some control. It's clear to me Adam wasn't doing any of it. He brushed her off and lived his own selfish life. In fact it seems he was no different in Australia as he was here. Moving all over, ducking responsibility, cutting Zahra off from the people she cared for and neglecting her needs. If he did it here, how is it hard to believe he did it back in Australia too? Sounds like a trend Zahra had to deal with most of her life. I believe bio mom was up against a brick wall with Adam.

I won't say what I think of grandma at this time. Just that Adam was the father and it was his responsibility to keep in touch with Zahra's mom. What his own mother says doesn't move me right now.

 

[rbrnmw2]

My ex married a woman who looked just like me so I started bleaching my hair

I have 5 kids my 19 year daughter was given to her dad when I was pregnant and hospitalized the night before the hearing I was on bedrest and they refused a continuous I didn't even have an attorney I was told I didn't need one it was mediation He moved my daughter and she was told I didn't want her when I finally found them I would show up for my visitations and they wouldn't be there I hired an attorney but he still wouldn't comply I don't know how many tears I cried but I am sure if I could count them it would be in the millions. She now knows the truth and I never get tired of telling her how much she means to me It is so sad that Zahra will not ever hear Emily's side of the story. This hits so close to home. I just feel so Angry that Emily is being condemned I have walked in similar shoes chasing down an ex.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

Hi folks! I hope things are going along alright in the forum today, and everyone is enjoying the increased options in topics, etc. Also, welcome to all the new folks - please don't hesitate to contact a mod or a member who's been here a while if things ever get confusing!

Just a note that, even when discussions get heated, try not to express anger towards fellow posters - attack the post's ideas, yes, but not the poster. That way, we hope everyone will feel comfortable posting their ideas. I know that can be difficult when we care so much, but all effort at being calm, friendly and/or respectful is very much appreciated by everyone here!

This post falls at random - please, carry on!

 

[darnudes]

Is there another interview on Sunday?

Not that we know of so far. I guess it depends on how many interviews Emily wishes to give. I know everyone will keep an eye out and if there are we will give you guys notice.

 

[passionflower]

Reminds me of how Ron Cummings isolated the children away from their mom, Crystal.
Yet chose young live in adict to care for his children and now Haleigh is dead also.
EVIL MEN! (AB/RC)

 

[Pondering Mind]

I have talked to people who have lost a child. They never stop loving or missing their child. No matter how long you are lucky enough to hold your child...five minutes, five days or fifty years...it is never enough time.

My sympathies to Emily. :rose:

Thank You Paintr! I watched the video..and I have no idea if she is being truthful..it sounded truthful to me. Maybe she should have done things differently, maybe not..we have absolutely no way of knowing. Most likely she did the best she knew to do at that time. But..in the end it doesn't matter ..(to me anyway) as she was not the person(s) that was responsible for Zahra's death..She will most likely spend the rest of her life thinking of the 'what ifs' and I'll be the first to tell you the 'what if's' are enough to drive one insane. 3 decades later, I still teeter on the edge everyday...

 

[Pondering Mind]

Did anyone besides me see an uncanny resemblance between biomum and EB? Eerily creepy for me.

I didn't find it creepy sarx..but it left no doubt that she is Zahra's bio-mum..

 

[Curious Me]

Zahra Baker's birth mother Emily Deitrich

Great interview she said a lot of the same things she said on the Hinky Meter about how she lost contact with Zahra, and how Adam kept them apart. At the end she says she knows Zahra never called Elisa Baker mum because she has enough of herself in her to never do that.

Strong interview, she cried the whole way through heartbreaking.

Thank You for posting these pics. Trying to catch up, and know others are, too.

 

[Curious Me]

Here's a good copy of the interview with Zahra's bio mom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_m9t6r1QHI

Here's the video of Zahra's bio mom! Thank You for posting it.

 

[LCoastMom]

to be completely fair ... we also do not what if any lies she is telling, no ?

Note ....about her finding zahra when she was so sick. she claims that they had a court order for join custody but the hospital would only release her records to her and not tell her where zahra was. i'm not sure how things work in Oz, but here if you had a court order with joint custody they would certainly release all records to you AND let you see her in the hospital.

I sincerely believe that ED had likely had other options (aside from spending money) to explore had she been searching very hard.

Have you ever asked a hospital to allow you to see someone - if you are on the No Info/ No visits list?

When a parent checks a child into the hospital (in the US) they are asked who is allowed to visit/get telephone updates - if the "custodial parent" (meaning the one who arrives with the child) puts "A,B,C" on the visitor list, if you are "E", you are not going to get in to visit - hospitals are places of healing - not in the business of policing their patients/patients families (the hospitals words, not mine) anything that could cause their patient stress is anti-healing and not in the interest of their patient - it is not their job to get into a custody dispute.

The exception would be if the Bakers were found to have kidnapped Zahra and Emily showed up with court orders and a LEO to arrest them - she would also most likely need her lawyer to get the Bakers off the list and her name put on. Hospitals are known for their red tape for a reason...

anything is possible, but the wonderful thing about the interent is most things dont just vanish. From what i saw there was nothing major on any of those sites, normal everyday chit chat that you would find on anyone elses sites, only thing that was missing from what i saw was anything pertaining to Zahra, there was not a single photo, post, status ect of Zahra on them from what i saw.

Biomom is in my heart regardless and i can feel her pain and i hope that she is able to come to some kind of peace over Zahra but it will be a uphill battle for her i am sure.

I didn't have the impression Emily was using social networks to advertise her search - as she herself said, she found the mother of one of her closest friends on KB's FB - the mother knew her story and knew KB was raising a granddaughter but never put 2 and 2 together.

Only her closest friends knew of her loss and because every time she got close, AB & clan disappeared, this was a private quest for Emily - something many people had no idea she was waging.

I admit I have no idea what caused the Bakers to cut Emily out of Zahra's life - but since they did so allegedly by illegal means, while she attempted to do things by the book - according to her (all information that can be verified) I have the tendency to believe her, until proven differently.

The bottom line for me still, I don't care what she did 10 years ago - she is not the one who disappeared and allowed her child to be abused and murdered. I hope she finds whatever peace she can and those responsible for the torture and death of Zahra - rot for all eternity.