Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Judge Sherry Stephens (JSS):
Please be seated. The record will show the presence of the jury, the defendant, and all counsel.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Arias had intended to present the testimony of Patrisha Womack. Miss Womack was supposed to testify regarding the abusive environment Ms. Arias grew up in as well as the abuse she suffered as an adult. Miss Womack is unavailable to testify.
Ladies and gentlemen, the defendant will now speak to you. This statement is not made under oath and is not subject to cross examination.
Ms. Arias, you may proceed.
Ms. Arias, please wait to begin. One of the jurors needs to have a new headset.
You may proceed.
02:18
Jodi Arias (JA):
Some months back while the first days of this trial was ongoing, my mom visited me just like she had been doing since trial began. She told me that after leaving the courthouse she was idling at a stoplight and she happened to look over at the car next to her, and Travis’s siblings were in that car. My mom and I were silent for a few moments when she finally voiced exactly what I was thinking. She said, “I know they’re going through hell.” Yet, nothing drove that point home for me more than when I heard them speak last week. I never meant to cause them so much pain.
When Steven said he read on Travis’s 3 x 5 card that it said, “Call Steven” and that he never got that call, I know that’s because of me, and when Samantha showed us the last picture that she took with Travis, I know it’s because of me that that will always be the last picture that she’ll ever take with Travis.
Throughout this trial I’ve avoided looking at Travis’s family for a variety of reasons that I won’t go into, but I wondered, “Where is his Grandma? Is she here?” I didn’t learn until last week what happened to her. Samantha said that Travis was the glue to their family. Around Thanks last year, not last year in 2007, Travis called me. He was really upset. He said his grand was ill and frail and that he didn’t know if she was going to make it. He said he didn’t know what his family would do if she didn’t make it because she was the glue to their family. To know now that both are gone and that I may have also inadvertently induced her passing destroys me.
Every time I’ve had the thought or desire to commit suicide, there’s one element that is always, almost always caused me to waver. They’re sitting right over there. They’re my family.
At times, I’ve lost track of that element. For example, the incident I testified to when I took my razor apart at the Siskiyou County jail, I convinced myself that they would get over the pain with time and that in the long run I was doing them a favor by unburdening them of my presence in their lives. I wrote a bunch of them goodbye letters, addressed specifically to each person, and in the letters I didn’t focus so much on explanations but on how much and why I loved each of them. Then I wrote a general explanatory letter to help them understand my decision. At that time I saw it as taking myself off of life support. I didn’t know a lot of anything about prison at that time, and I didn’t think it was fair to expect my family to support me for the rest of my life. I didn’t know then that if I got life instead of death I could become employed and self reliant. I didn’t know that if I got life there are many things I can do to effect positive change and contribute in a meaningful way. In prison there are programs I can start and people I can help and programs that I can continue to participate in. I’ll share a few examples that I thought of.
A few months before trial, and by that I mean jury selection, my hair was past my waist and I donated it to Locks of Love, a nonprofit that creates wigs for cancer patients who have lost their hair. In fact, that was my third donation t that organization since I was arrested. If I’m allowed to live in prison, I will continue to donate to that organization for the rest of my life.
Over the years I’ve spent in incarceration, I’ve received many requests from women to teach them Spanish or American Sign Language. Because my case was pending, I just didn’t have the time. In prison, I will.
If I’m sentenced to life, I will live among the general population of women, and I’ll be able to share my knowledge of those subjects with them, the ones who have the desire to learn also. I may even be able to start classes.
If I get permission, I’d like to implement a recycling program. The women’s prison in Goodyear houses thousands of women, and each week huge loads of waste are hauled off to a landfill. A substantial portion of that could be kept out of the landfill and be recycled instead. It may even create new jobs for the people there. This is one small thing that could have a far reaching and positive impact on the community and on the planet.
There is a higher rate of illiteracy in prison than in everyday society. I know that reading has enriched my life by expanding my knowledge base and opening my eyes to new worlds and different cultures. I can help other women become literate so that they, too, can add that dimension to their lives.
Along the lines of literacy, I’d like to start a Book Club or a reading group, something that brings people together in a positive and constructive way so that we can share and recommend other good books and stimulate discussions of a higher nature.
08:07
Additionally, I’ve designed a T-shirt.
(Jodi picks up a sample T-shirt and holds it up in front of the jury. It is a white, short-sleeved T-shirt with the word Survivor across the chest).
This is the t-shirt, which 100% of the proceeds go to support non-profit organizations which also assists other victims of domestic violence.
Some people may not believe that I am a survivor of domestic violence. They’re entitled to their opinion. I’m supporting this cause because it’s very, very important to me.
These are only a handful of examples. I’ve never been to prison. I don’t know from personal experience what it’s like there, but I’m certain that after I arrive, I’ll likely find many other ways in which I can contribute to the women there.
08:50
I’d like to share with you now a few things about me and a few things about my family.
(Jodi begins to display photographs
(The first photograph displayed is Jodi as a very little girl and is labeled: Jodi Arias 1982).
(The second photograph displayed is another photograph of Jodi as a little girl with pigtails and is just labeled: Jodi Arias).
09:06
JA:
When I was little, my mom took a lot of pictures of me. I’m the first child. She had her camera everywhere, and she would take a lot of pictures of me when I was first born.
(The next photo is Jodi as a little girl in a bathing suit and is labeled: Jodi Playing with the sprinklers 1982)
09:16
JA:
Salinas is near the coast and so it seemed there were a lot of overcast days, but when it was sunny, she would take me out to the backyard and turn on the sprinkler so I could play.
(The next photo is Jodi as a very little girl trying to dress herself and is titled: Jodi dressing herself).
09:22
JA:
That’s me attempting to dress myself.
(The next photo is Jodi as a young girl with her younger brother, Carl, and is titled: Jodi and Carl).
09:27
JA:
A few years later, Carl came along, my little brother, and we became inseparable. When we were little, my parents took us everywhere including Sea World here and Hawaii.
(Another photo is shown of Jodi & her brother at Sea World).
(Another photo is shown of Jodi & her brother).
My fondest memories with him are of us goofing off on a lazy Saturday just making a mess of the living room in our pajamas.
(Another photo is shown of Jodi & her brother).
When I was eleven years old, and this slide is backwards, I apologize. When I was eleven years old, my little sister, Angela, was born four weeks early.
10:00
JA: (Unintelligible).
10:03
I was so excited to have a baby sister. I watched my mom’s stomach grow. I watched Angela come into this world, and after the doctor swaddled her, he turned to me and my mom and said, “Do you want to hold her first?”
These are various school pictures, and on occasion, my family and I would get together for family portraits such as these.
(A family photograph is shown of the Arias family to include mom, dad, Jodi as a teenager, Carl, Angela and Joseph).
(A photograph of Jodi in ninth grade is shown).
10:27
JA:
In ninth grade my family and I moved back to Yreka but I still went back to Santa Maria periodically to visit friends.
(A photograph is shown of Jodi and her friend, Patty, titled: Jodi and Patty).
10:36
JA:
This is Patty. She was my best friend for years. She was here last week to testify on my behalf as you heard Mr. Nurmi tell you in opening statements, but she didn’t return today because she and her nine-year old daughter were threatened and harassed if she came back to this state.
I’m 21-years-old here.
(Photo of Jodi and her father).
After I moved out of my parents’ house at 17, my relationship with my dad improved a little.
(Photo of Jodi’s grandma).
This is a photo of my grandma and her twins. My aunt is on the left and my mom is on the right.
These are my parents when they were just a little bit younger. (Photo shown of Jodi’s mom & dad).
11:16
(Photo shown of Jodi & her boyfriend, Bobby, labeled: Jodi & Bobby Juarez).
This is Bobby and I. It’s a little out of order chronologically. We’re hanging out in our dirty, little run-down house in Montague that I had mentioned previously. At times we lived there without power and phone. The winters were freezing. We could see our breath inside the house. My parents did not support this relationship and we were young and just trying to figure out life on our own. When this picture, when I see this picture I’m reminded of that quote by Charles Dickens when he says, “they were the best of times; they were the worst of times.”
We’re smiling here in this picture and it exemplifies that. It was a difficult relationship but Bobby will always be special to me.
12:00
(A photo of Jodi at age 21 is shown very quickly – blink and you miss it).
12:01
JA:
I’m twenty one here.
12:01
(Photo of Jodi & Matt labeled: Jodi and Matt McCartney).
12:02
This is a photo of Matt McCartney and I taken a few months after we broke up. A few months after, he moved down to Big Sur where I was working at Ventana. As you know, we remained friends, and on this day we utilized some company passes to tour Monterey aquarium.
(A photo of Jodi and Darryl is shown titled, Darryl and Jodi).
12:21
JA:
Darryl and I began seeing each other a little over a year after that. In this photo I’m coming out of a red-headed stage that I went through for a few years. This is one of my favorite pictures of Darryl. We were at Shiva’s (?), a restaurant in Monterey where our friend, Tony, was playing blues and reggae live. He dedicated songs to us and we danced. Darryl was a good dancer.
When we began dating we started a yearly tradition.
12:48
(Photo of Darryl and Jodi camping, entitled: Camping at Kurk Creek).
12:48
JA:
We’d go camping every summer at this remote little campground. It’s called Kurk Creek. It’s south of Big Sur in an area that the locals call the South Coast.
13:03
(Photograph of Darryl, his son, Jack, and Jodi).
13:04
JA:
This is Darryl, Jack and I at Ventana. It’s hard to see in this photo but the ocean is in the background. It’s on the terrace.
After we bought our house in Palm Desert, we sought out some snow in the nearby mountains that first winter. We settled in and made a little life for ourselves for that time. Jack was always with us on the weekends.
13:22
(Photo of a blonde-haired Jodi labeled: Jodi Arias).
13:23
JA:
He took that picture of me.
13:26
(Photograph of Jodi with three girlfriends).
13:27
JA:
I made friends with my co-workers and sometimes we’d go out after a shift just to chill and hang out.
13:32
(Photo of Darryl, his son and Jodi).
13:33
JA:
Darryl, Jack and I did a lot of things together. Here we rode the aerial tram in Palm Springs from the top of the San Jacinto mountains.
13:42
(Photograph of Darryl, Jodi & Darryl’s son).
13:42
JA:Darryl’s ex-wife took this picture. We were all at Chuckie Cheese’s celebrating Jack’s seventh birthday. Jack and I bonded. He was a great kid. I haven’t seen him since June 3rd, 2008. I hear he’s much bigger now, taller than me.
14:02
(Photo of the four Arias siblings).
14:03
JA:
My family and I still got together periodically for group portraits. These were taking at a park in Yreka.
14:12
(Photograph of the Arias family including Jodi’s parents and all four kids).
14:13
JA:
In 2010, my little sister gave birth to this beautiful little girl on the right.
14:21
(Photograph of Jodi’s niece, Zora and her new sister).
14:23
JA:
The tiny premature baby that I witnessed come into this world now has a baby of her own. She is a mature, responsible, dedicated mother. She is also engaged to a wonderful man, and his daughter, this gorgeous girl on the left, is my niece’s new big sister. I’ve met these girls only through a thick pane of glass. They get along like they’ve always known each other.
I won’t be at my sister’s wedding when she ties the knot next year, and I won’t be her wedding photographer like we had always talked about.
15:04
JA:
The same is true for my brother, Carl.
(Photograph of Carl holding a little girl, titled: Carl and Kaia).
The boy I grew up with became a family man. He and his wife married in 2010. I wasn’t there to celebrate with them, and I wasn’t there to take their pictures, and I have no one to blame but myself. A few weeks before trial they welcomed this precious little baby into the world. I haven’t met her yet.
Until a few weeks ago I had huge hopes of becoming a part of these girls lives someday. My nieces are the closest I’ll ever come to motherhood because I’m not going to have children of my own. I’m not going to become a mother because of my own terrible choices. I’ve had to lay that dream to rest.
You’ve heard before that I’m an artist. As it stands now, I’ll never create another oil painting, but these are some of my drawings.
16:00
(Photograph entitled: Teacher).
(Photograph entitled: Protected).
16:01
JA:
I’m pretty good with hands, and nature. My best three portraits…
(Drawing of Frank Sinatra)
There’s Frank Sinatra.
(Drawing of Elvis)
Elvis Pressley
16:11
(Drawing of Elizabeth Taylor).
JA:
Elizabeth Taylor.
16:13
(Drawing of Jodi’s niece playing the piano).
This picture is a little distorted. This is my niece when she was a bit younger playing the piano, well, attempting to play the piano.
16:23
(Photo of Jodi and her siblings).
16:23
JA:
My family and I have a lot of memories, especially ones like this at Christmas. We won’t be creating any more of these kinds of memories together. This is how I used to spend the holidays with my family.
16:36
(Photo of Jodi’s family holding up a photo of Jodi).
16:38
JA:
It was Carl’s idea to hold my portrait in this Christmas family photo taken a few years ago. My parents were there, my siblings were there, my brother’s wife was there. From now on, this is how my family is going to spend the holidays with me.
17:01
Following my arrest, I wanted so much to avoid trial, not necessarily the outcome, although that’s not naturally something I was looking forward to, the trial, all of the graphic, mortifying, horrific details paraded out into a public arena. Instead, I was hoping to go quietly into the night whether off to prison or the next life, but with the amount of attention my case received early on, I felt in my ignorance that it was necessary to speak out. I got on T.V. and I lied. I lied about what I did, and I lied about the nature of my relationship with Travis.
It’s never been my intention to malign his name or character. In fact, it was a goal of mine to preserve his reputation. I didn’t want to drag out Travis’s skeletons or mine and explain my experiences with him. I didn’t want to unveil all of those ugly text messages and e-mails and that awful tape, all these things which now stand a public and permanent testimony of the darker aspects of our relationship, to eighteen strangers, in front of Travis’s family, in front of my family, in front of what feels like the whole world. It’s never been my intention to throw mud on Travis’s name.
When I took the stand, I was obligated to answer the questions posed to me, and if you’ll remember, many times I was quick to defend him in the same breath. I loved Travis, and I looked up to him. At one point, he was the world to me.
18:35
This is the worst mistake of my life. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. It’s the worst thing I could have ever seen myself doing. In fact, I couldn’t have seen myself doing it. Before that day, I wouldn’t even want to harm a spider. I’d gather them up in cups and put them outside. To this day, I can hardly believe I was capable of such violence, but I know that I was, and for that I’m going to be sorry for the rest of my life, probably longer. I was horrified at what I had done, and I’m horrified still.
In many ways my family has also suffered a great loss. Their pain is fresh, because they only learned about it two weeks ago, the moment the verdict was read, the moment their hopes of ever welcoming me home someday were dashed. My dad who is here today was in California waiting anxiously in front of the T.V. My mom came to visit me after court that dark day. She had spoken to my dad on the way over, and she told me that in 34 years that they’ve been together, she’s never heard him cry the way he did that day. I caused that pain. I caused them to hurt that way, and I will concede that with Travis’s family, theirs is a much greater loss, and I can never make up for it.
It’s my hope that with the verdict you’ve rendered thus far, that they will finally gain a sense of closure. Steven said he doesn’t want to look at his brother’s murderer any more. If I get life, he won’t have to.
I’ve made many public statements that I would prefer the death penalty to life in prison. Each time I said that, though I meant it, I lacked perspective. Until very recently, I could not have imagined standing before you all and asking you to give me life. To me, life in prison was the most unappealing outcome I could possibly be given. I thought I’d rather die. But as I stand here now, I can’t in good conscience ask you to sentence me to death...because of them. (Jodi points to her family).
20:50
Asking for death was tantamount to suicide. Either way, I’m going to spend the rest of my life in prison. It’ll either be shortened or not. If it’s shortened, the people who will hurt the most are my family. I’m asking you please, please don’t do that to them. I’ve already hurt them so badly along with so many other people. I want everyone’s healing to begin and I want everyone’s pain to stop.
Thank you.
Jodi Arias Penalty Phase - Day 3 - Part 1 (Jodi Arias Allocution) - YouTube