8 Die in Crash on Taconic State Parkway #2

[Jmoose]

cawfee, I do exactly the same thing--on line and in real life! And I swear I didn't mean to pick on you or your posts (or anyone else in particular). While I'm at it, I guess I should also make it clear I am NOT a moderator. My opinions carry no special weight at WS.

I can understand why many believe Dan should have realized Diane was in trouble and done more to help her: that morning, the night before and in life in general. And perhaps he has lied to the press in the time since the accident, though if I may damn him with faint praise, he doesn't strike me as smart enough to do much conniving. I'd be more apt to believe he had been deluding himself for some time.

Either way, however, he still lost a wife and daughter, and his son is impaired. Maybe it was just frustration that led to the "Diane wanted the children" remark. After all, if they hadn't had children, maybe he'd still have a wife.

I still wish he hadn't said it (and I bet he does, too). I was just thinking out loud that if it's true victims get special treatment here, then Dan fits the definition, even if he did something unknowingly to contribute to the tragedy.

For some men, this is too much like work-and maybe he left her alone with her vices, because she left him alone with his. He appears to be a lazy man who just wanted to go to work and then play when he wasn't at work. I'll bet he never did any home maintenance, either, leaving it to Diane. This is probably why she blew a gasket.

I know a woman who was married with one child-he wanted no more children, but she became pregnant, so he left her to raise both children on her own. He now takes full credit for the younger child's professional success in the military, even though he never resided in the same home with this boy, and barely saw him subsequent to his birth, let alone taught him anything. What's wrong with these guys? Why don't they marry women who don't want children?

 

[Jmoose]

You may be right, but documentaries are edited--just like any film--and tend to give added emphasis to even the most innocuous or spur-of-the-moment remark. Who wouldn't be angry with a spouse who killed your daughter and left your son with a permanent disabiiity? And in that anger, who among us wouldn't say something unfortunate such as "I never wanted children anyway"?

I suppose you're right re: Daniel Schuler's statement that he never wanted children anyway-If I felt that way, I might say it to somebody, but I 'd never say it to someone making a documentary. I'd also do some soul-searching for my own part, however big or small, in this tragedy-and at least when the documentary was made, Daniel Schuler didn't appear to be doing that. It looked a lot like the life we imagine Diane and Daniel Schuler were living-he worked bcause he had to, and only when he had to, and Diane did everything else, including make more money. Making less money than your wife is certainly no crime-but it appears (in my own humble opinion), that Diane was really responsible for everything important in that household. This doesn't absolve her from full responsibility for the tragedy-but, come on! There is more going on here than just Diane being a heavy, habitual drinker. He did something that knocked her trolley off the track that weekend-and we will never know what that was.

 

[Jmoose]

I am actually wondering if Diane Schuler was prone to panic/anxiety attacks when driving, and tried to self-medicate with alcohol and pot. After my mother died 2 years ago, I suddenly and without warning started experiencing anxiety attacks while driving on the highway, and I've always loved driving. It appears to get worse when life is particularly stressful. Since this started happening to me, I've discovered that it's actually quite a common thing. When it first started happening to me, I had no idea what it was-I thought I was having a stroke, and had a very difficult time seeing and managing the car. But I never drank or smoked anything in order to manage the driving-I called my husband. She likely was accustomed to self medicating to deal with her stressful times. I guess we'll never know; she probably never told anyone if she did have anxiety attacks.

 

[nrdsb4]

I suppose you're right re: Daniel Schuler's statement that he never wanted children anyway-If I felt that way, I might say it to somebody, but I 'd never say it to someone making a documentary. I'd also do some soul-searching for my own part, however big or small, in this tragedy-and at least when the documentary was made, Daniel Schuler didn't appear to be doing that. It looked a lot like the life we imagine Diane and Daniel Schuler were living-he worked bcause he had to, and only when he had to, and Diane did everything else, including make more money. Making less money than your wife is certainly no crime-but it appears (in my own humble opinion), that Diane was really responsible for everything important in that household. This doesn't absolve her from full responsibility for the tragedy-but, come on! There is more going on here than just Diane being a heavy, habitual drinker. He did something that knocked her trolley off the track that weekend-and we will never know what that was.

It's been a long time since I saw the documentary, but wasn't it Jay who actually made that allegation? Isn't she venting frustrations about Daniel to someone off camera when that information is given?

I could be wrong, I may well be mis-remembering, but if it's true, it may be that Daniel said that at a bad time and even if he meant it, it's very possible that he never had any intention of his son knowing that he said it.

If I've got it wrong, as Emily Litella from SNL would say: "Never mind."

 

[MyBelle]

I suppose you're right re: Daniel Schuler's statement that he never wanted children anyway-If I felt that way, I might say it to somebody, but I 'd never say it to someone making a documentary. I'd also do some soul-searching for my own part, however big or small, in this tragedy-and at least when the documentary was made, Daniel Schuler didn't appear to be doing that. It looked a lot like the life we imagine Diane and Daniel Schuler were living-he worked bcause he had to, and only when he had to, and Diane did everything else, including make more money. Making less money than your wife is certainly no crime-but it appears (in my own humble opinion), that Diane was really responsible for everything important in that household. This doesn't absolve her from full responsibility for the tragedy-but, come on! There is more going on here than just Diane being a heavy, habitual drinker. He did something that knocked her trolley off the track that weekend-and we will never know what that was.

I find no fault with the husband. He was Diane's choice as a husband just as the decision to drink and drive was Diane's choice. It has absolutely nothing to do with how much money she made or he made. I have nothing but utter compassion for the guy.

JMO

 

[MyBelle]

For some men, this is too much like work-and maybe he left her alone with her vices, because she left him alone with his. He appears to be a lazy man who just wanted to go to work and then play when he wasn't at work. I'll bet he never did any home maintenance, either, leaving it to Diane. This is probably why she blew a gasket.

I know a woman who was married with one child-he wanted no more children, but she became pregnant, so he left her to raise both children on her own. He now takes full credit for the younger child's professional success in the military, even though he never resided in the same home with this boy, and barely saw him subsequent to his birth, let alone taught him anything. What's wrong with these guys? Why don't they marry women who don't want children?

There's nothing wrong with anyone who doesn't want children. I have a female friend who doesn't want children. Why would any woman who wants children marry someone who doesn't want children or vice versa?

JMO

 

[Cymbaline]

I haven't seen the HBO doc but will try to find it online. I am also curious in reading the Bastardi's book and just ordered it. Thanks for bumping this case up and igniting my new obsession.

RS and BBM

Link to HBO Documentary.. (it says movie in the title but it is the HBO Documentary, I am watching it right NOW!!)

There's Something Wrong With Aunt Diane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oy5CRexmfyA

:fishy:

 

[Nova]

There's nothing wrong with anyone who doesn't want children. I have a female friend who doesn't want children. Why would any woman who wants children marry someone who doesn't want children or vice versa?

JMO

It's amazing how many couples marry without really exploring their feelings on the subject of children. Also, some people change their minds over time. I can think of several sets of friends where it became a huge issue later.

 

[Nova]

I suppose you're right re: Daniel Schuler's statement that he never wanted children anyway-If I felt that way, I might say it to somebody, but I 'd never say it to someone making a documentary. I'd also do some soul-searching for my own part, however big or small, in this tragedy-and at least when the documentary was made, Daniel Schuler didn't appear to be doing that. It looked a lot like the life we imagine Diane and Daniel Schuler were living-he worked bcause he had to, and only when he had to, and Diane did everything else, including make more money. Making less money than your wife is certainly no crime-but it appears (in my own humble opinion), that Diane was really responsible for everything important in that household. This doesn't absolve her from full responsibility for the tragedy-but, come on! There is more going on here than just Diane being a heavy, habitual drinker. He did something that knocked her trolley off the track that weekend-and we will never know what that was.

That's my impression, too, except I don't think we can know what "knocked her off her trolley" that weekend. There are several reports (camp owner, McDonald's employees) that Diane was fine when they spoke with her early that morning.

But as for the basic family dynamic, I tend to agree.

As for the unfortunate remark in front of the camera, I find it as shocking as anyone. But lots of people on reality shows report that they quickly forget the cameras are there, recording.

 

[GinaSeikwa]

That's my impression, too, except I don't think we can know what "knocked her off her trolley" that weekend. There are several reports (camp owner, McDonald's employees) that Diane was fine when they spoke with her early that morning.

But as for the basic family dynamic, I tend to agree.

As for the unfortunate remark in front of the camera, I find it as shocking as anyone. But lots of people on reality shows report that they quickly forget the cameras are there, recording.

I actually agree with the "something knocked her off her trolley that morning". By many eyewitness accounts she was driving very aggressively at the beginning of her trip. I can't help but wonder if she was driving while yelling and cursing at other drivers; her husband; her problems;..life. Also Diane's brother stated that either when Emma called him at 12:58pm or when he called her back at 1:08pm he could hear the children crying in the background. Other than the oldest child I really question whether they would have any situational awareness of the vehicular danger. Especially since at that point in time they were not in any grave danger ie. driving the wrong way on the Taconic. I tend to think they were crying and upset because Auntie Diane was yelling and screaming and railing about something in the car and they were scared of her. She was out of control and not silently confused or disoriented.
Thanks for the HBO link! Guess what I'm doing once I get the littles to bed

 

[Jmoose]

It's been a long time since I saw the documentary, but wasn't it Jay who actually made that allegation? Isn't she venting frustrations about Daniel to someone off camera when that information is given?

I could be wrong, I may well be mis-remembering, but if it's true, it may be that Daniel said that at a bad time and even if he meant it, it's very possible that he never had any intention of his son knowing that he said it.

If I've got it wrong, as Emily Litella from SNL would say: "Never mind."

You know, I actually don't remember now if he said it in the documentary, or if his S-I-L was the only one who said it. I'll have to go back and watch it again

 

[Jmoose]

There's nothing wrong with anyone who doesn't want children. I have a female friend who doesn't want children. Why would any woman who wants children marry someone who doesn't want children or vice versa?

JMO

I have nothing whatsoever against people who don't want children-if they don't, they shouldn't have them. It's just as possible that he never said so to her, as it is that she never told him that she did want them. But if he never wanted any, why did they have not one, but two?

She's the one who committed the act, but his own actions appear to be contributing factors. Like every one of us, he has to live with the hand he drew-it would be nice if he wasn't complaining about how hard her decision to drink and drive made his life. Maybe he should have helped her with the kids a little, and we wouldn't be talking about this.

 

[MyBelle]

I have nothing whatsoever against people who don't want children-if they don't, they shouldn't have them. It's just as possible that he never said so to her, as it is that she never told him that she did want them. But if he never wanted any, why did they have not one, but two?

She's the one who committed the act, but his own actions appear to be contributing factors. Like every one of us, he has to live with the hand he drew-it would be nice if he wasn't complaining about how hard her decision to drink and drive made his life. Maybe he should have helped her with the kids a little, and we wouldn't be talking about this.

I don't believe how much a parent helps the other with the kids has any bearing whether one becomes a closet alcoholic. Nobody forced the woman to stay married to him. She was an adult and she made a choice to drink and drive. I guess I'm not seeing why he doesn't have the right to complain about how her bad decision have affected his life and that of her son.

JMO

 

[Davereid]

First off I agree Danny's words and behavior toward his son in the documentary were unusual and harsh. But the documentary was filmed not too long after the tragedy. I do not know if there is appropriate behavior for anyone going through that and would he feel and act the same today. Even if he was a cheating lazy man-child it still does not excuse what she did. I am not implying I think anyone in here believes that either. I just wanted to say if he was a total jerk and she did this because she was angry with him that is her being selfish and horribly vindictive. Perhaps she knew he could not handle parenting and wanted to take out her own children which is bad enough but taking her brother's kids in the process was unconscionable. I think so many look for a medical reason because it is so hard to accept the reality she was that selfish and horrid. But even if he was a total douche the blame falls on her. Women are married to total dirtbags who treat them terribly but they do not get plastered and drive their car head on in to oncoming traffic. This is on her and I do not think her being married to the world's best dad/husband would change the fact she had freaking issues and was a ticking time bomb. Maybe this tragedy wouldn't have happened but she would have had some kind of breakdown when something else set her off. JMHO

 

[MzOpinion8d]

I don't believe how much a parent helps the other with the kids has any bearing whether one becomes a closet alcoholic. Nobody forced the woman to stay married to him. She was an adult and she made a choice to drink and drive. I guess I'm not seeing why he doesn't have the right to complain about how her bad decision have affected his life and that of her son.

JMO

My interpretation is that he is complaining because he still HAS a son. That's why I have a problem with it.

 

[Jmoose]

First off I agree Danny's words and behavior toward his son in the documentary were unusual and harsh. But the documentary was filmed not too long after the tragedy. I do not know if there is appropriate behavior for anyone going through that and would he feel and act the same today. Even if he was a cheating lazy man-child it still does not excuse what she did. I am not implying I think anyone in here believes that either. I just wanted to say if he was a total jerk and she did this because she was angry with him that is her being selfish and horribly vindictive. Perhaps she knew he could not handle parenting and wanted to take out her own children which is bad enough but taking her brother's kids in the process was unconscionable. I think so many look for a medical reason because it is so hard to accept the reality she was that selfish and horrid. But even if he was a total douche the blame falls on her. Women are married to total dirtbags who treat them terribly but they do not get plastered and drive their car head on in to oncoming traffic. This is on her and I do not think her being married to the world's best dad/husband would change the fact she had freaking issues and was a ticking time bomb. Maybe this tragedy wouldn't have happened but she would have had some kind of breakdown when something else set her off. JMHO

I also believe this-I was reacting to someone suggesting that he didn't want children, as an explanation for why he wasn't responsible for anything but his own job. Yes, it was her decision to stay with him; she could have left-but as anyone with children who's gone through divorce could tell you, it's a hard choice to make. My own opinion is that, while I do think she was a habitual drinker at home, I really doubt she regularly drove drunk with her kids in the car. People who do stuff like that run into trouble at work, on the road, with cops, and their neighbors gossip about them. None of this happened with her. I think she made a terrible and deliberate choice that day to do what she did, but we don't know why. I think Daniel does, though, and I think this is why the family of the father and son who were killed, are so angry.

 

[GinaSeikwa]

I also believe this-I was reacting to someone suggesting that he didn't want children, as an explanation for why he wasn't responsible for anything but his own job. Yes, it was her decision to stay with him; she could have left-but as anyone with children who's gone through divorce could tell you, it's a hard choice to make. My own opinion is that, while I do think she was a habitual drinker at home, I really doubt she regularly drove drunk with her kids in the car. People who do stuff like that run into trouble at work, on the road, with cops, and their neighbors gossip about them. None of this happened with her. I think she made a terrible and deliberate choice that day to do what she did, but we don't know why. I think Daniel does, though, and I think this is why the family of the father and son who were killed, are so angry.

Yes this exactly ^. She absolutely wasn't a habitual drunk. She held done a good job and was a responsible mother but Danny definitely knows what went down that weekend ( and Thursday night had everything to do with it IMO). He can say what he wants now. Dead women don't talk. But he knows.

 

[nrdsb4]

Yes this exactly ^. She absolutely wasn't a habitual drunk. She held done a good job and was a responsible mother but Danny definitely knows what went down that weekend ( and Thursday night had everything to do with it IMO). He can say what he wants now. Dead women don't talk. But he knows.

There are people who are drunk every night. They are called functional alcoholics and they are able to hold down jobs, be responsible, and yet still manage to get lit every night after they have put the kids to bed. Many of them are able to hide it from even their closest contacts.

 

[Jmoose]

There are people who are drunk every night. They are called functional alcoholics and they are able to hold down jobs, be responsible, and yet still manage to get lit every night after they have put the kids to bed. Many of them are able to hide it from even their closest contacts.

I think it's likely that she was a regular drinker-my parents were alcoholics, and both got up each day and navigated their responsibilities; but they didn't regularly drive us around during the day, drunk. I don't believe Daniel was stunned to find out that she drank and smoked pot-not for a minute. If he worked 4-midnight, he would know when he got home, because he would smell the alcohol. He didn't care, because he never thought it was going to become a problem for HIM, in my opinion.

 

[GinaSeikwa]

Oh she definitely drank regularly I'm sure of that. They probably both did actually. And so what? They drank. That's ok. Admit it. But I also don't she she made a regular habit out of picking her kids up and driving around sloshed or getting through a presentation at work by hitting the bottle etc. But she did on July 26, 2009. So why? What made her go to that extreme? I really think the family could help others by talking openly about it. But they probably never will.
She did what she did that day with determination. Will we ever get the real story? It's too easy to dismiss her as a drunk bi#&h with no regard for others but there certainly is a back story there that we are not getting.