A Mother's Unconditional Love

[Mendara]

I think, that after watching her at the memorial that, Cindy has finally come to a conscious acceptance of what she has known all long, but long denied...that her daughter killed her granddaughter. I think, now she is communicating to Casey that she will still love her. I even got the feeling (I am the only one?) that with this acceptance, Cindy is going to now try and "fix" and/or "cure" her daughter of whatever it was that made her murder. I think she still looks at Casey as a victim...but this time of whatever psychological malady that caused her to kill.

See I just can't accept that a woman like Cindy who was often angry enough to call her daughter names and an emotional man like George would be so cold as to not show some anger toward their daughter if they thought she killed their granddaughter. I just don't think if they thought she was guilty that they would talk about her as beautiful and good. I think they would be much more reserved in their Casey speech.

I think they believe someone else did this.

 

[Chemaster]

OK... I have had a hard time today... I am completely conflicted about all my emotions in this case. I have had a difficult time with A's behavior throughout it all.

But... Cindy is my age...with kids my age... and her message to Casey today blew me away. It was raw, it was beautiful, it was a call of love to her daughter, whom she so obviously loves, despite what she has done. I imagine myself in her shoes and doing the same thing. Or at least I hope I would.

.... I haven't been in the situation but believe that a "grandmother's unconditional love" would supercede a "mother's unconditional love".

The daughter was at a age to make choices / decisions in life concerning right and wrong. Sadly, Caylee never had this opportunity. Regardless, of if she murdered this poor child or not, her response lacks any sense of compassion.

Ego's run rapid within the family tree.

IMO

 

[songline]

I have been on this forum for alittle while now and for the most part I have bitten my tongue I havent said anything because quiet honestly it isnt something Im proud of and its something I usually keep hidden because its painful to talk about. But after reading your post and reading through other post on this thread I felt the need to shed some light on how my family handle their lost and their love for my brother.I think thats one of the biggest reason I was drawn to this case because I look at KC and see glimpes of my brother all over again. Little over ten years ago my brother murdered my 2yr old niece in a fit of rage.My parents loved my brother and there grandchild and were totally heart broken.Our family will always love my brother but we dont love what he has become. We did not lie for him and we didnt cover for him. It was hard for me but it was even harder for my parents.But as much as my parents loved my brother they still wanted justice for my niece. Mind you that my brothers case never got the news this one did but even if it would of the end result would of been the same.That justice for my niece was always first in our minds and in are hearts.I asked my parents after my brother was sentenced to life in prison how they felt. And this is what they said.We love our children and our grandchildren more then anything is this world but sometimes life isnt fair and we are thrown into to horrible nightmares where we must make a choice on where we stand with this world and with the lord.Sometimes tough love is the only way.Our grandchild didnt have a choice on how her life was ended but our son did.And even though we love him more then life itself he chose his path in life and now he must be punished by the law and our lord.Im not saying what the A's have done is wrong or that the way my family handle it was better but I thought i would shed some light on a family that been through the same nightmare as the A's. My heart aches for the A's because I do know what it feels like to be in this nightmare and I never stopped loving my brother but I personally never stopped wanting justice for my niece because she deserved that much for what she went though to leave this world.Sorry for the long rant and I hope no one looks at me any different then before but I just felt I need to say it.

:blowkiss: cuppy -Bless your heart for spilling that out. That was a good thing to do.
While I do not know about murder, I have known about jail.
I think it takes a sick person to take a life, as well as doing some other things that do not involve taking a life;
But it is a hardship to cope, to live with and support family members in the best way we can when they are ill and refuse to be healed.
While they may do things that make our hair stand up, or our heart fall out, or our knees get weak. WE still DO love them and want to help them get better.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and so is your family.
I never thought this (mental illness or jail) would ever touch my life, in fact I never had that sort of conversation early on because I always thought I was from a better class of people that do not know of JAIL or Mental illness.
Boy was I wrong and that was many years ago. But like yourself there are many places I do not speak because I do not need them to think less of me.
I understand you well. God bless your family. RIP to your niece.

 

[songline]

See I just can't accept that a woman like Cindy who was often angry enough to call her daughter names and an emotional man like George would be so cold as to not show some anger toward their daughter if they thought she killed their granddaughter. I just don't think if they thought she was guilty that they would talk about her as beautiful and good. I think they would be much more reserved in their Casey speech.

I think they believe someone else did this.

Not all sensitive people know how to show feelings;
Shock and Frozen are conditions that have happened to me n the past.
Not unusual in high stress situations.
I think there were many times I should have cried, but I was in shock and forzen.

Not all people react the sme way - Even with the emotion of joy we are not all the same;
some smile, some laugh, some cry.
WHO are we to judge how the anthony's should react?

I agree they do not belive that Casey Killed Caylee.

I think something happened where Casey gave the baby to someone in a bordello
and then Casey got scared and frozen when Caylee did not turn up.
while other sits have talked about the bordello; it may not be acceptable here,
and the MODS are welcome to delete that.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Originally Posted by OneLostGrl
I have brought this up before too but- my mom is the type who would cover and lie and destroy evidence for me.

But it would not be to "help" you really, would it? In your case, and knowing some of your history-wouldn't it be a control issue? Like, boy do you owe me NOW! That is what my own mother would do, but with another twist, later, years down the road, she would throw me to the wolves after she had me firmly under her control...

Been missing you!

Yep, that and because she refuses to admit that I could ever do anything wrong.. even if I did it in front of her face she'd come up with excuses and someone else to blame... anyone but me.

 

[Zoe Bogart]

Loving your children unconditionally doesn't mean you should turn the other way when one of them kills someone, anyone, especially her own innocent baby.

In my city, we've had several parents lately who have unconditionally loved their children enough to call the police and tell them, "I think my son is the killer". Just last night, a woman threw her newborn infant into the lake. When her family heard the description of the car on the news, they convinced her to turn herself in. Now THAT's unconditional love at its best, a love who can DO THE RIGHT THING for the sake of the victims.

If I had killed my child, you can be sure my mother would have loved me unconditionally while she was beating me to death and continued to love me when she sat in her prison cell. Cover for me? Blame others? No way. I would have paid dearly.

Unconditional love doesn't allow anyone to blame the innocent for a crime our child has done and we know that child has done it. Certain As haven't learned that lesson yet. Instead, they banned some of those innocents from a PUBLIC memorial service. For shame.

 

[Zoe Bogart]

I have been on this forum for alittle while now and for the most part I have bitten my tongue I havent said anything because quiet honestly it isnt something Im proud of and its something I usually keep hidden because its painful to talk about. But after reading your post and reading through other post on this thread I felt the need to shed some light on how my family handle their lost and their love for my brother.I think thats one of the biggest reason I was drawn to this case because I look at KC and see glimpes of my brother all over again. Little over ten years ago my brother murdered my 2yr old niece in a fit of rage.My parents loved my brother and there grandchild and were totally heart broken.Our family will always love my brother but we dont love what he has become. We did not lie for him and we didnt cover for him. It was hard for me but it was even harder for my parents.But as much as my parents loved my brother they still wanted justice for my niece. Mind you that my brothers case never got the news this one did but even if it would of the end result would of been the same.That justice for my niece was always first in our minds and in are hearts.I asked my parents after my brother was sentenced to life in prison how they felt. And this is what they said.We love our children and our grandchildren more then anything is this world but sometimes life isnt fair and we are thrown into to horrible nightmares where we must make a choice on where we stand with this world and with the lord.Sometimes tough love is the only way.Our grandchild didnt have a choice on how her life was ended but our son did.And even though we love him more then life itself he chose his path in life and now he must be punished by the law and our lord.Im not saying what the A's have done is wrong or that the way my family handle it was better but I thought i would shed some light on a family that been through the same nightmare as the A's. My heart aches for the A's because I do know what it feels like to be in this nightmare and I never stopped loving my brother but I personally never stopped wanting justice for my niece because she deserved that much for what she went though to leave this world.Sorry for the long rant and I hope no one looks at me any different then before but I just felt I need to say it.

Sweetie, I'm sure your niece loves you and your parents for taking up for her, especially since it would be such a difficult choice for anyone. Doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing, but if we don't stand up for the children, our own children in our families, who will?

I'm sure God has a special place in Heaven for your family. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your loved ones.

 

[Egoslayer]

Well I know for sure I would not BASH my child, which I feel people are expecting. I would mention her at the memorial. Casey is still a human being - something went wrong and something clicked in her mind that caused this most unfortunate event to happen. Justice and counseling is necessary. One to keep her isolated and one to help her one day realize the gravity of her choices. But would I still love her? Yes. I might be a bit more silent than Cindy has been but I would never bash my own family publicly.

 

[SewingDeb]

Cuppy, I'm so sorry your family had to go through the tragic loss of your niece. I think the way your family handled it is the way most would handle it.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Well I know for sure I would not BASH my child, which I feel people are expecting. I would mention her at the memorial. Casey is still a human being - something went wrong and something clicked in her mind that caused this most unfortunate event to happen. Justice and counseling is necessary. One to keep her isolated and one to help her one day realize the gravity of her choices. But would I still love her? Yes. I might be a bit more silent than Cindy has been but I would never bash my own family publicly.

I'm not interested in them bashing her.. my only issue is their constant lying and apparent attempt to cover up for a crime she committed... against her child, their granddaughter.

 

[elementary]

I think, that after watching her at the memorial that, Cindy has finally come to a conscious acceptance of what she has known all long, but long denied...that her daughter killed her granddaughter. I think, now she is communicating to Casey that she will still love her. I even got the feeling (I am the only one?) that with this acceptance, Cindy is going to now try and "fix" and/or "cure" her daughter of whatever it was that made her murder. I think she still looks at Casey as a victim...but this time of whatever psychological malady that caused her to kill.

I would be interested in knowing how you came to your conclusions- what evidence to support the idea that Cindy has accepted that the perp is a murderess. Yes, she's communicating that she still loves her but that's pretty well the only thing I can state has factually happened. And she's been communicationg that all along anyway, so why is it different this time?

Re: my bolded part: Why did Cindy not "fix" the perp all the years before? Given her pattern of behaviour in the past, there is nothing to lead me to believe that that behaviour would change in the present. In all those years that the perp lied, cheated and stole, when did Cindy ever do anything but cover up for her? Meanwhile, Cindy believes the perp is "normal" and has stated as such in a court of law. Oh, and of course the perp is the perfect mother- At the memorial Cindy even likened Caylee to the perp- calling her compassionate, which suggests she doesn't need fixing.

I also think that not only does she believe that the perp is a victim, but that the entire A family are victims. Everything is everyone else's fault and the world is against them. From that perspective, she is more likely to circle the wagons than to want to fix anyone in the family.

 

[Mendara]

Well I know for sure I would not BASH my child, which I feel people are expecting. I would mention her at the memorial. Casey is still a human being - something went wrong and something clicked in her mind that caused this most unfortunate event to happen. Justice and counseling is necessary. One to keep her isolated and one to help her one day realize the gravity of her choices. But would I still love her? Yes. I might be a bit more silent than Cindy has been but I would never bash my own family publicly.

Exactly how I feel. I believe honestly if Cindy thought Caseyw as guilty she would talk about her less, but since she thinks she is innocent she talks more.

 

[mimimama5]

Ok for me unconditional love is a hard term. I love my children ( all 5 of them ) beyond anything or anyone else. I would lay down my life for any of them, and I cannot say I would do that for anyone else in my life. I do agree that for my parents, the grandkids come first. I was raised by great people who taught me so many valuable life lessons. We are very close as adults, and I know damn well that if for any reason my mother thought ANY of her daughters ( there are 6 of us) had harmed any of her grandchildren in ANY way we'd better find a darn good hiding place! I'm a grown woman, marrried with 5 children of my own, but I still respect and fear my mothers opinion. And I know that she would be the first one to call the authoritites if she thought something had happened to one of the grands! For me, I know if god forbid my children were to grow up and do something horrendous like KC has, I could not support them. Love them yes, mourn for them absolutley, but NOT support them.

 

[txsvicki]

IMO, unconditional love is also being able to humanize loved ones into separate individuals with their own lives and basic rights. The Anthony's don't seem to be able to do this with Caylee and Casey. It's like Caylee was a possession of or a little extension of her mom. Her birth, her little short life, her disappearance, the search, the interviews, and the memorial are all connected to Casey and mostly all about her characteristic and her problems. Caylee wasn't a gift, someone to be missed along with missing Casey, two bracelets on a wrist, or dependent on anyone's personality. She was a separate person who would have wanted to live and be happy. Love isn't unconditional if it's limited or dependant on what another person does with his life.

 

[songline]

Loving your children unconditionally doesn't mean you should turn the other way when one of them kills someone, anyone, especially her own innocent baby.

In my city, we've had several parents lately who have unconditionally loved their children enough to call the police and tell them, "I think my son is the killer". Just last night, a woman threw her newborn infant into the lake. When her family heard the description of the car on the news, they convinced her to turn herself in. Now That's unconditional love at its best, a love who can DO THE RIGHT THING for the sake of the victims.

If I had killed my child, you can be sure my mother would have loved me unconditionally while she was beating me to death and continued to love me when she sat in her prison cell. Cover for me? Blame others? No way. I would have paid dearly.

Unconditional love doesn't allow anyone to blame the innocent for a crime our child has done and we know that child has done it. Certain As haven't learned that lesson yet. Instead, they banned some of those innocents from a PUBLIC memorial service. For shame.

CMA = Cindy; Casey; Caylee it seems he is talking to all of them.

The saga you are comparing this too is not a comparable saga and this is why.
In Your Saga it is clear to everyone that the woman is mentally ill and the family is trying really hard to save her and anyone else concerned because obviously she is dangerous.

while I think Casey had not been diagnosed she exhibits mental illness.
The Anthony's may not have known she is ill; and now they want to get her mental help, I do not know that; but it is very obvious they are trying to help her. Maybe they are hoping that at best Casey will not be in the general population in prison.

My daughter was not properly diagnosed till she was 40.
My internal instincts told Doctors to test her, but they all said all she needs is to get to the root of her anger and she will be fine.
I do not think they knew how messed up Casey was, even Doctors don't always know till something happens. Mine dried suicide twice in one year, and then she was kept for lengthy evaluations.

 

[mikeysmommom]

Oh, and I want to add also.... It is a lot easier to believe that someone you don't know is guilty when presented with facts, than it is to believe when that someone is your own child, or someone close to you. When it's a member of your family, specifically your own child, it tends to skew the vision quite a bit. You don't see things the way others will see it... your perception is slanted by your love for your child. Does that make sense?

I agree with you on both posts.......It makes sense to me,I feel the same way.

 

[Oakley]

You will love having grandbabies. I can't tell you how strong a bond is with a grandchild. I more protective of my grandson than I ever was with my kids.

SuziQ, I read of an Egyptian proverb that goes something like this: dearer than our children are our children's children. How true!

 

[OneLostGrl]

IMO, unconditional love is also being able to humanize loved ones into separate individuals with their own lives and basic rights. The Anthony's don't seem to be able to do this with Caylee and Casey. It's like Caylee was a possession of or a little extension of her mom. Her birth, her little short life, her disappearance, the search, the interviews, and the memorial are all connected to Casey and mostly all about her characteristic and her problems. Caylee wasn't a gift, someone to be missed along with missing Casey, two bracelets on a wrist, or dependent on anyone's personality. She was a separate person who would have wanted to live and be happy. Love isn't unconditional if it's limited or dependant on what another person does with his life.

Great post!

 

[OneLostGrl]

CMA = Cindy; Casey; Caylee it seems he is talking to all of them.

The saga you are comparing this too is not a comparable saga and this is why.
In Your Saga it is clear to everyone that the woman is mentally ill and the family is trying really hard to save her and anyone else concerned because obviously she is dangerous.

while I think Casey had not been diagnosed she exhibits mental illness.
The Anthony's may not have known she is ill; and now they want to get her mental help, I do not know that; but it is very obvious they are trying to help her. Maybe they are hoping that at best Casey will not be in the general population in prison.

My daughter was not properly diagnosed till she was 40.
My internal instincts told Doctors to test her, but they all said all she needs is to get to the root of her anger and she will be fine.
I do not think they knew how messed up Casey was, even Doctors don't always know till something happens. Mine dried suicide twice in one year, and then she was kept for lengthy evaluations.

Thing is, when the mother is sicker than the daughter it gets complicated. Constant dramaaaaa..

ETA- and ya know looking back now, as sick as I ever got- I knew something was wrong with me.. I knew I didn't fit. and so did my loved ones. We just didn't talk about it.
I don't believe that the people who spent their days with this girl did not see that something was very wrong with her thinking.
Although, when everyone around you has the same thought process, of course they don't see it as flawed.

 

[Ripley007]

Well, I can stretch my mind into possibly understanding spoiling a child, being more concerned about appearances than taking the time to give a child real love -- which equates to giving them the tools and guidance so they can have a chance to become actualized and functioning adults. I can maybe even understand refusing to believe they're guilty of anything. HOWEVER, I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams going on national television and lying, flat out lying, in your face lying -- or witholding evidence from the police, accusing innocent people of a hideous crime when all the evidence points to only one person or obstructing a search for a beloved baby. That's beyond the beyond. I don't expect parents to hate their children for wrongdoing. It's not up to me to give anyone a timeline for acknowledging the truth. Each in his own time. But...

I just keep going back to the fact that if not for Kronk we'd still be in the bizarre Caylee is alive world and seeing photos of little mall children plastered on the nightly news over and over again. And having to hear them scream that the SA and LE is on a witch hunt. Can you imagine if the body hadn't been found what kind of Orwellian PR blitz we'd still be under?

I think every person in this country should send Kronk a dollar for his public service. He's spared us a load of b.s.

:clap::clap::clap:

While searching for another original post I wanted to quote, I found your's. I agree with you 100%!

This post deserves a bump and a re-read!