AL - Karen Shahan, 53, murdered, Homewood, 23 July 2013 #1

[txsvicki]

I hope the elderly members are also being followed up with and visited. They have probably never been through anything this fearful.

 

[LambChop]

Yes, I set it up as soon as I found out about the nightmares. We told them that if they had any questions that they could come to us no matter what it was and that we would answer their questions the best we could and if we didn't know the answer that we would find someone who could help. They have always been very open with us. The dreams started 2 nights ago, so I guess I shouldn't feel like a horrible parent. That being said...there are things that kids should know at that age...and things they shouldn't. Ya know what I mean?

This is true. But if they ask the questions they want an honest answer otherwise it increases their fear instead of decreasing it. That is why sometimes a professional is better at getting them the answers that will satisfy what they need to know so they feel safe. I certainly hope you all hear something soon so your children can feel safe again. jmo

 

[TravelingBug]

Yes, I set it up as soon as I found out about the nightmares. We told them that if they had any questions that they could come to us no matter what it was and that we would answer their questions the best we could and if we didn't know the answer that we would find someone who could help. They have always been very open with us. The dreams started 2 nights ago, so I guess I shouldn't feel like a horrible parent. That being said...there are things that kids should know at that age...and things they shouldn't. Ya know what I mean?

Even years later, since the church I was working at when the Chelsea King case happened was in the neighborhood of where Amber DuBois was taken, and since I work with kids, the CK abduction/murder resurfaced the fears that were very much still underlying b/c of the questions still going on as there were no answers as to what happened to Amber.

Was she alive somewhere being held? Had she left voluntarily (not many thought that at all)? Was she dead as well?

The kids were (understandably) freaked out!

And not knowing made it SO much worse in so many ways, I think, because minds go even more directions. As much as people tried to protect their kids from hearing it, it was everywhere. Signs on street corners, ribbons, choppers, news and radio even during "kid safe" hours/shows, and the topic of conversation unless you pretty much kept to your own little house.

We stepped up security and took a lot of other steps, while trying not to let the kids really be aware of how much more was going on behind the scenes.

We dealt with the fears of the peers of Chelsea and Amber and the younger kids, some of whom didn't really (thankfully) understand what was going on, while trying to reassure the parents that additional measures were taken to keep kids/youth safe on campus.

But you guys are dealing with it on an entirely different level. Not only do you have an unexplained death, the people at the center of it were influential and visible and significant parts of the lives of many of them. I can't imagine how difficult it's been for your church, and especially, for all of you as parents.

I'm glad your kids feel safe in sharing their fears with you and that you're helping to walk through this with them, and I pray the other kids are getting the same support. And I pray for the staff, too...losing a pastor or their spouse, for any reason, is never easy. I can't imagine the feelings when so much is unknown and you love and care about the people involved and there still aren't any answers.

Though I had been referring to Karen's kids being (in my mind, surprisingly) quiet, I'm glad you posted what you did. I'm glad you realized that the last thing (I'm quite sure all of us here) want is the kids/youth of your church who care about Karen/family to be dealing with more than they are already!

As someone else said, if it were my parents, there's no way I wouldn't want every person in the country to know something had happened to my mom and we needed to find out who had done it...and even just sharing about who she was - but everyone does handle things differently.

In some ways this reminds me of the Susan Jacobsen (son?) case in NoCal right now. Although no one is sure of Susan's 'fate' (not a fan of that word but can't come up with another at the moment) we've heard nothing from her husband and very, very little from one son.

But again, everyone does handle things differently.

And do know that I mean I'm praying for you all - it's an incredibly difficult situation and I pray for God's nearness to you in all in a really powerful way as you all continue to walk through this. And I pray especially for wisdom for all of you who are trying to navigate this with your kids and as having friendships with the Shahans.

 

[kahne9]

I want thank all of you for your kindness and prayers. It means alot to my family.

 

[singers]

I just read your post again when I was reading all the new posts....when I read it before and saw where you said something about not hearing anything from the "kids" for some odd reason I thought you were talking about the kids in the church. I guess I jumped to that conclusion because Richard and Karen worked with my kids. Then Iwhen I read my post again, I decided that I should explain my post and apologize for my reply. I'm sure all of you were thinking...why did she post that??? Anyway, I was only thinking about my kids. It's just really hard on everybody.

Yes, must be scary for kids knowing someone they knew was murdered. It's absolutely frightening. Especially the thought that it may have been random.

As you already worked out, I was more thinking of kids or husband being on the news begging for information, asking people if they had seen anyone etc. Or even the police asking about cars in the area, or customers in hobby lobby. There just seems to be silence from all.

 

[SapphireSteel]

Yes, must be scary for kids knowing someone they knew was murdered. It's absolutely frightening. Especially the thought that it may have been random.

As you already worked out, I was more thinking of kids or husband being on the news begging for information, asking people if they had seen anyone etc. Or even the police asking about cars in the area, or customers in hobby lobby. There just seems to be silence from all.

When I was a kid, I would have been absolutely delighted if someone I knew (loved ones excluded) got murdered by a mystery assailant.

Murder In The Dark, Cluedo and all that. Kids don't understand the horror and depravity. I would not have understood the horror, but been thrilled to the mystery of it all and agog to hear the adults talking about it.*

I kind of know this because when I was a kid (eons ago), the family dentist's wife went crazy and killed all their kids.

Although we felt horribly horribly sorry for him, (he was a lovely man) it was still not a profoundly awful thing to know. You just feel sad for the ones left behind for 5 minutes, and then get on to the next childhood drama, unlike adults who can struggle to move on. Kids do have a natural coping mechanisim that shields them from the worst knowledge. It's called innocence.

*But then, I always was kinda "different". :blush:

 

[MissJ]

May I ask how large this church is? When a child and growing up in my baptist church we had a few deaths of members. One a child hit by a car and three brothers killed in a mine explosion. All our families were close and the deaths had a terrible impact on all of us. I had nightmares for months about what these members went through when dying. Maybe I'm just strange. But we were a close congregation.

 

[TREBLE]

I grew up on the Southside and in Vestavia....so I am very familiar with Homewood. I frequent the area regularly because I have friends and family there.
Homewood actually has a rather high crime rate due solely to that rat's nest area around Valley Ave and Green Springs....so HPD may be more experienced than you think. They can also get assistance from State and Federal agencies if they need it. They may already be consulting with one of those groups. I certainly hope so.

I guess we will have to wait and see. Obviously I wouldn't have posted a comment such as this on a whim. Respectfully, I disagree. Of course HPD has some crime and valley and greensprings aren't great areas. However, they aren't the brightest bunch of criminals either. I do not believe LE has the experience to bring this case to fruition. Also, PD's don't like to ask for help...very territorial. As we all know, the more time that goes by, the colder the case gets. I hope I'm wrong, but if this case is ever solved, prosecuted and justice served, I believe it will be on a mere chance at this point. It doesn't appear that it will be because of the "expertise" of the LE. Time will tell though. Have a nice day!

 

[txsvicki]

When I looked up Birmingham crime it was kind of shocking how many people were found shot in their cars, and they all seemed to be solved. Them all being solved seemed a little off to me. They sure need to get the right person that did this. Being such a brutal murder should point away from many potential suspects, imo. But, we don't know why it was so brutal, or if there was a struggle or sneak attack.

 

[singers]

I guess we will have to wait and see. Obviously I wouldn't have posted a comment such as this on a whim. Respectfully, I disagree. Of course HPD has some crime and valley and greensprings aren't great areas. However, they aren't the brightest bunch of criminals either. I do not believe LE has the experience to bring this case to fruition. Also, PD's don't like to ask for help...very territorial. As we all know, the more time that goes by, the colder the case gets. I hope I'm wrong, but if this case is ever solved, prosecuted and justice served, I believe it will be on a mere chance at this point. It doesn't appear that it will be because of the "expertise" of the LE. Time will tell though. Have a nice day!

Well I hope they asked for help from the NSA. It could help determine a motive by looking at all email and Skype calls. If the govt wants to hack everyone's email this is the kind of case it would be helpful in.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

Well I hope they asked for help from the NSA. It could help determine a motive by looking at all email and Skype calls. If the govt wants to hack everyone's email this is the kind of case it would be helpful in.

:thumb:

 

[LambChop]

DO NOT SLEUTH FAMILY -

Don't go there- zip - nada - don't even think about it.

 

[AlwaysShocked]

I would think that one of the reasons people are not talking is because they are anxious and fearful. A horrendously violent murder has taken place. No one knows who did it.

If you allow yourself to think the perpetrator was a stranger, that is very scary. If you allow your mind to wonder if it was someone who knew her, that is even worse! Two very bad, anxiety-producing choices.

And yes, I agree that parents may be having more problems with this situation than younger children. But teenagers are old enough to be disturbed by the "What ifs".

 

[Sulamith]

I would think that one of the reasons people are not talking is because they are anxious and fearful. A horrendously violent murder has taken place. No one knows who did it.

If you allow yourself to think the perpetrator was a stranger, that is very scary. If you allow your mind to wonder if it was someone who knew her, that is even worse! Two very bad, anxiety-producing choices.

And yes, I agree that parents may be having more problems with this situation than younger children. But teenagers are old enough to be disturbed by the "What ifs".

Why do you think that the people that knew the preacher and his wife are anxious and fearful? What do you suppose they fear? Why, are they not talking? Sorry, I do not understand what you posted.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

:bump:

Bumping for Karen...

May there be justice soon...

:scale:

 

[Breazy]

Thinking of Karen... I pray justice comes for you! lease:

 

[MissJ]

Justice for Karen.

 

[mom23boys]

Checking in daily, hoping there will be justice for Karen soon.

 

[AlwaysShocked]

Sulasmith: Friends or close associates of the couple would be anxious and/or fearful either way is what I meant. Fearful if some unknown stranger who murdered their friend may be still lurking around and may harm someone else. Fearful and anxious about the thought even entering their head that this was NOT a murder by a stranger, but rather by someone who deliberately targeted her.

 

[ClemiFern]

Justice for Karen...

Hoping we hear something soon.