I can't believe I forgot this, an I KNOW family law, DUH!
North Carolina, and I believe South Carolina, is one the few, if not ONLY states that have POST Separation ADULTERY. So if it was proven she slept with JP, she got NOTHING...Wow.
Zen, I don't want to be rude and I am sure you mean well, but just about everything you have provided in your posts is an incorrect statement of North Carolina divorce law.
While we're on the topic, I think it would be prudent to point out that any discussion of "divorce" law needs to be broken down into two parts. The dissolution of the marriage and the disposition of the other aspects that are a result of the marriage -- custody, child support, alimony, equitable distrubtion, etc.
As to the dissolution of the marriage, the parties must live separate and apart for one year prior to the filing of a petition for absolute divorce. That is, either party can file for "divorce" no sooner than one year and one day from when they first began living separate and apart and the party filing the petition must have been a residence for at least the 6 months preceding the filing.
As to the other aspects of the marriage, again the parties must have separated prior to any filing for custody, support or equitable distribution (there are rare circumstances where such actions can be filed while the parties are still cohabiting if they are tied to an action for divorce from bed and board).
Custody: North Carolina determines child custody looking solely at the best interests of the child. While the statistics may show that mothers are granted primary custody more than fathers, the statistics also show that mothers are still overwhelmingly the primary caregivers in the family. However, I have never been involved in a situation where the court gave primary custody to the mother simply because she was the mother. (I will agree, however, that the custody order in this case was complete and utter abomination at the time, but that had more to do with politics than anything else.)
Child Support: North Carolina uses an incomes-shared model to determine a base child support amount. That is, the mother's and father's incomes are factored into the determination. It is not a discretionary number. There is a formula that it used to determine child support and from what I've seen the amount suggested in the proposed separation agreement is probably pretty close to what it should have been. Child support should be one of the easiest things to determine.
Alimony: Upon determining that there is a supporting spouse and a dependent spouse, the court in it's discretion can award alimony and the amount is discretionary taking into account a wide number of factors, not the least of which is the ability to pay. As for adultery (illicit sexual behavior), if the supporting spouse alone is found to have committed such, the judge must order alimony. If the dependent spouse alone is found to have committed such he/she is barred from receiving alimony. If both are found to have engaged in such, the court may in its discretion award alimony. You must know, however that North Carolina has condonation and recrimination. That is, if the other spouse either condoned the behavior or upon discovering it forgave the behavior and went on with the marriage, then those acts may not be used to bar/award alimony. ZEN mentioned post separation adultery and I have no idea what that is. The closest thing is that acts of post-separation sexual contact may be used to prove pre-separation acts of sexual conduct, but since the parties were not separated this is a non-starter.
ED: Equal is presumed equitable. There are factors to be considered for an unequal split of property, but in my experience it is very rare to do anything other than 50/50.
Sorry that was long. I could go on further but I need to watch House on my DVR now. I can answer questions if you have them...