MOO, I can't stop wondering how far back CS was shoplifting cases of beer--the whole pattern of going into the bathroom with it feels like such a calculated ruse. How many times has this guy drove drunk, and with the kids in the back no less? I know we'll never get the real details of his relationship with ES, but I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship troubles were a real slow-burn gaslit situation where she didn't realize until too late what a mess she was in with him and by then, she'd put all her eggs in one basket with no way to back out. I don't think she made good decisions by any means with this guy, but I can maybe empathize with how things got where they are.
Continuing to endanger the 2 in the home with his presence and trying to force the little girls into toeing the family cult like line with emotional pressure is difficult to fathom.pointing out that she knew what she knew and yet continued to allow her children to be endangered and questioning WHY that decision was made daily is in no way burning her at the stake. It is an effort to understand the motivation behind the WHY of it all. JMO
Her own texts would suggest there were lots of big red flags, like 138 that she did not miss. She also paid for his legal expenses re: DUI, criminal charges to be sealed, and had a child REMOVED from their home by the state. Yet she kept having more victims for him. It is a psych issue on some profound level for her JMOOO.I am just thinking, maybe she was just too busy to notice, you know? Medical school is hard, residency is hard, and she also had three children - carrying them to term, giving birth, taking care of. I wonder if because he stayed with her, and she stayed long hours on call, she though he was reliable, and was missing tiny red flags?
He has a history of having a child removed from the home for safety and of failing to appear for court hearings such that several civil arrest orders were issued. Neither is common. JMOOO. His repeated DUI also make him a danger to the community. He has been indicted for 1st degree MURDER and has witness tampered re: children.Judge's reasoning as to why she released him.
ORIGINAL BOND HEARING
JUDGE - Cases like this are very difficult and I want to make a record about what I'm ruling and why I'm ruling. So first of all, the Arizona law requires me to set the least onerous release conditions that will assure that the defendant appears for court and that he is not a danger to the community. It is not appropriate at a initial appearance for me to punish someone or to think about what they deserve or anything like that, that may very well... likely will come into play later in his case, but at the initial appearance, the only things that I am to consider are the least.. I have to impose the least onerous release conditions that will assure that he appears in court and that he is not a risk to the community. Mr. Scholtes scores in the absolute lowest risk category possible on every assessment that was done by pretrial services. Pretrial services did recommend that I hold him on a bond; their current system of making recommendations basically says that if a person is charged with a homicide, that overrides any other risk assessment and any other recommendation, and that results in our hold on bond recommendation. The head of pretrial services gave a presentation today where he explained that that will no longer be true beginning on July 22 so 10 days from today, if this exact same person appeared, they would not make that recommendation. They are getting rid of that if the charge is a certain thing, we automatically recommend the person be held.
Mr. Scholtes has significant ties to the community, no criminal history whatsoever. This is the kind of offense that is extremely unlikely to reoccur. I don't believe that he poses a danger to the community now, although his actions on that day may have. For all of those reasons, I am actually going to release him to pre trial services, supervision. I don't believe that a money bond is appropriate at this time, however, sir, I am ordering that you do not possess or consume any alcohol or illegal drugs. Do not possess any firearms or submit to any [inaudible] or treatment that's directed by pretrial services.
Also, sir and ma'am, I'd like you to hear this as well. I am ordering that you are not to have any unsupervised contact with minors. You are not to be alone with children. They cannot be alone in your care while this case is pending. So your wife mentioned that she works a lot of hours, you're going to have to find a different child care scenario. If she's at work, you cannot be home alone with children. That being said, I'm not, I'm not prohibiting contact, just unsupervised contact. Your next court date on this is a preliminary hearing, it's set on August 1, at 1.30 in the afternoon, sir, that court date may change. You need to stay in touch with pretrial and with your attorney so that you know if your court date changes, if you miss court, you will get a warrant. Mr. Scholtes, do you have any questions about your release conditions? and I don't want you to say anything else, anything you say can be used against you. I just want to make sure that you understand the conditions I've given you.
SHOLTES - No your honor thank you.
JUDGE - And Miss Scholtes, do you have any questions?
WIFE - I don't, and one thing I didn't mention is that I have taken an extended leave from work so that I will be home with the kids. I just wanted to make that known.
Usually because they were raised by alcoholics/addicts and were stuck. Kids can't leave their alcoholic parents, so they learn how to cope. MOO ES grew up in a dysfunctional household where one or both parents had substance use issues, and learned to cope by adapting, fawning, minimizing, and believing she could change them if only she tried hard enough.Just to remind you, it is very hard to live with someone who's an alcoholic or an addict. The diseases never go away, but if we don't have it in the family, we think things are fine. People relapse and no one knows, people drink when they can get away with it, people say they go to AA and never do. At least there is a certain fear between a person and modern hard drugs because we all know the risks, but nothing stands between a human and his alcohol because both are so acceptable socially. So, I am weighing in my opinion on ES because I suspect we don't know the whole story. I just see women staying with alcoholics and ask myself, why?
She knew. She was not missing tiny red flags.I am just thinking, maybe she was just too busy to notice, you know? Medical school is hard, residency is hard, and she also had three children - carrying them to term, giving birth, taking care of. I wonder if because he stayed with her, and she stayed long hours on call, she though he was reliable, and was missing tiny red flags?
Usually because they were raised by alcoholics/addicts and were stuck. Kids can't leave their alcoholic parents, so they learn how to cope. MOO ES grew up in a dysfunctional household where one or both parents had substance use issues, and learned to cope by adapting, fawning, minimizing, and believing she could change them if only she tried hard enough.
I am sure she loves her kids, and she probably also believes she's doing the right thing by having CS home. She is sure she can change him and make things okay if she just tries a little harder...
And no, it doesn't make sense because it's not conscious. It's a trauma response that she's not aware of and hasn't addressed.
All MOO and I'm not a mental health professional.
Judge is female .Wow, CS and his wife sure could sweet talk him.
We stay for many reasons. I can only speak for myself:Just to remind you, it is very hard to live with someone who's an alcoholic or an addict. The diseases never go away, but if we don't have it in the family, we think things are fine. People relapse and no one knows, people drink when they can get away with it, people say they go to AA and never do. At least there is a certain fear between a person and modern hard drugs because we all know the risks, but nothing stands between a human and his alcohol because both are so acceptable socially. So, I am weighing in my opinion on ES because I suspect we don't know the whole story. I just see women staying with alcoholics and ask myself, why?
I feel it is possible that she would have some income protection if she was deemed 'sick" which she may well be from dealing with this. One would have to know about their disability benefits to know for sure.Your comments make a lot of sense.
In her professional education and career, she is a scientific person who fixes things. I have to think she thought she could fix him, too.
I do have great concern for her, too. She is not currently working while he is home. They (she) will have large legal bills to pay that just keep rolling in. If there are any charges of child abuse by negligence against her, she would also have to get another lawyer. This could imperil her ability work or at least decrease her hours and therefore her income. They could also imperil her medical license.
The remaining two children will be in school very soon. One way or another she will need to find a childcare person and person who will do the home and family maintenance activities that CS was supposed to be doing. More expenses.
She also really needs to have time with some kind of mental health counselling.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Often people who haven't been in a similar situation (like myself) can't always fully comprehend the dynamics in this sort of relationship and believe it's easy to walk away when there is so much more to it.We stay for many reasons. I can only speak for myself:
1) He had total control over me by the time I realized I was in too deep
2) If I kicked him out, he, and his children, would have been homeless, literally. (They are currently all homeless and sleep wherever)
3) I had loved him so long, it was hard for me to see who he had become, that he wasn't the same person
4) I had no idea until later how much he was drinking. Or abut the coke that has now turned into a full blown meth addiction. I had no idea he was getting drunk while I was at work and he was home with the kids. He didn't even have any money, I was baffled. But every day I would come home and he would be drunk. It has been three years and I still find mini bottles
5) he promised to go for alimony and half my house if I left him -and he was disabled on ssdi, he would have gotten it.
6) The people who knew it was devolving into chaos and abuse did nothing more than whisper behind my back, instead of speaking up - to him, not me, that he had a problem
Now I think I kinda sound like I am yelling at you, I promise I am not. But I have been with someone who placed me and his kids in danger on a regular basis, and the whole time, I knew it was wrong. I knew it had to stop. I lived with constant fear and anxiety at all times that he was going to do something he could not come back from. This PTSD kept me in a messed up mind frame until the situation exploded and I was finally able to wake up and ciut ties.
What sucks is that my exs kids had no choice but to be homeless with him and they are now engaging in dangerous drug activity too. Sometimes we are just....stuck.
No excuses, but I wanted to try and explain a little on why we stay
People may well be wary of her judgement as an anesthesiologist given all that has come out and avoid her practice.
I fear other families will give a wide berth to this level of dysfunction, even if he is jailed. It's clear she knew and enabled and even witness tampered after a toddler was murdered. Who would invite her to the carpool, want to socialize, be a source of release and normal model behavior to the kids?
@IDKI have noticed in many pictures CS has what appears to be a growth on his right lower lip? Now I’m thinking it may be a piercing? Just curious as to what it could be:
View attachment 522542
Harrowing autopsy update after girl, 2, was left to die in hot car
Parker Scholtes was found dead in the blue 2023 Honda Acura SUV after about 4.15pm on July 9 outside the family home in Marana, north of Tucson, Arizona .www.dailymail.co.uk
I wish there was a “hug” emoji so I could send one your way.We stay for many reasons. I can only speak for myself:
1) He had total control over me by the time I realized I was in too deep
2) If I kicked him out, he, and his children, would have been homeless, literally. (They are currently all homeless and sleep wherever)
3) I had loved him so long, it was hard for me to see who he had become, that he wasn't the same person
4) I had no idea until later how much he was drinking. Or abut the coke that has now turned into a full blown meth addiction. I had no idea he was getting drunk while I was at work and he was home with the kids. He didn't even have any money, I was baffled. But every day I would come home and he would be drunk. It has been three years and I still find mini bottles
5) he promised to go for alimony and half my house if I left him -and he was disabled on ssdi, he would have gotten it.
6) The people who knew it was devolving into chaos and abuse did nothing more than whisper behind my back, instead of speaking up - to him, not me, that he had a problem
Now I think I kinda sound like I am yelling at you, I promise I am not. But I have been with someone who placed me and his kids in danger on a regular basis, and the whole time, I knew it was wrong. I knew it had to stop. I lived with constant fear and anxiety at all times that he was going to do something he could not come back from. This PTSD kept me in a messed up mind frame until the situation exploded and I was finally able to wake up and ciut ties.
What sucks is that my exs kids had no choice but to be homeless with him and they are now engaging in dangerous drug activity too. Sometimes we are just....stuck.
No excuses, but I wanted to try and explain a little on why we stay