Can you recognise OP?
The Peter Pan Syndrome (PPS) describes men, who are childlike in their relationships, their ability to handle responsibilities, and their pursuit of pleasure. Hes a man because of his age; a child because of his acts. The man wants your love, the child your pity. The man yearns to be close, the child is afraid to be touched. If you look past his pride, youll see his vulnerability. If you defy his boldness, youll feel his fear .
PPS victims appear to be emotionally stunted at an adolescent level. Their impulses take priority over any internalized sense of right and wrong. They cope with their problems by engaging in a great deal of primitive denial, e.g. If I dont think about it, the problem will disappear.
They excel at blaming others for their shortcomings, and are often extremely sensitive to rejection from others. The PPS sufferer desperately needs to belong, as he feels very, very lonely. There seems to be an immense vacuum in his life unless he is around people, preferably the center of attention.
The older PPS victim tends to be a workaholic with very unrealistic expectations of himself and others. He develops this constant desire to be doing something as a coping mechanism for dealing with the hollow emptiness of his life. Alcohol and drugs are other unhealthy coping mechanisms..
Emotions are the most difficult areas for a PPS client. Older victims say they love or care for you, but cant seem to remember to express their love. Ironically, although they started out as extremely sensitive children, these men often appear to be self-centered to the point of cruelty. At times they appear warm and caring; however, these sentiments can be rapidly replaced with cold indifference, a change that greatly confuses the women with whom they are involved. There is emotional numbness as that they have lost touch with their emotions and simply do not know what they feel.
PPS victims experienced a great deal of
permissiveness in their upbringing. This led to a lack of self-discipline, demonstrated by irresponsibility, along with the inability to learn how to control their emotions. Because of
problems stemming back to disturbed relationships with their mother, PPS victims have a great deal of difficulty relating to women. They strive to prove their male potency, manifesting it in macho and chauvinistic talk and attitudes. They often collect notches on their bedposts, having sexual intercourse with any and every available woman. They feel potent because of their power to seduce women with their superficially good social manners, which includes an ability to put out an almost irresistible line of romantic blarney.
PPS clients have a long and repeated history of
taking lovers for granted feeling that the love of a mate should be like the love of a mother unconditionally positive.
A lover is never supposed to expect more of him than he chooses to give at the time he chooses to give it. He doesnt understand that adult love is conditional,
it involves give and take. Rather he is the taker and his lover is the giver.
If a woman challenges this inequity, she is seen as a ***** who doesnt know how good she has it. He is very concerned about the opinions of others, especially males.
When reality is pushed upon him hard enough so the emotional insulation or denial is broken through, the PPS sufferer
will often call upon rage to intimidate whoever is pushing reality upon him. This anger keeps people away from the PPS sufferers fragile self-esteem. Unfortunately, it also keeps love, concern, and warmth away. Rage is the wall that keeps the PPS victim isolated from close contact with others
http://www.beaumontpsych.com/peter-pan-syndrome.htm
