If true about the swinger allegations, I think it lends credence to the BPD theory for LT. We've seen she lost gobs of weight at some point and opened a Facebook profile in her maiden name. Despite her "stable" marriage, she seems to have reinvented herself multiple times.
First at 16 as a new bride to her smart, older, handsome husband. Then at 20 with a baby. Later a homesteading homemaker in TX then a ritzy housewife in CA.
She probably adored that baby at first and maybe couldn't imagine another. Maybe she even dreamt of escape at that point. Especially once baby #1 got tedious (terrible 2s and 3s and all). But then controlling & narcissistic husband makes demands on sex and she feels trapped by #2. Only to find that pregnancy & baby is exciting the 2nd time too. And after exerting his control, he's doting on her again. She tires more quickly of #2 and with pregnancy #3, #1 & #2 are neglected more and more. He's losing control and starts insisting on better "discipline" & budgeting. She discovers quiverfull thinking which allows her to keep having kids and be ok with both the fundamentalist patriarchy and Disney. They get the farm, but she doesn't magically become a good homemaker. More babies, more neglect and continued abuse of older kids. He's losing control and requires more discipline. Somewhere the budgeting goes out the window. Right around the 10 year gap in kids. Did the novelty finally wear off? Did DT put his foot down, no more kids?
Another reinvention. A move to CA. Weight loss. Maybe she cheated on him and to keep control she manipulates him to believe they'd benefit from an open marriage. Only after he goes through with it he has to exert control by recreating this scene to right the wrong. Do we know if the alleged Alabama trip is during the 2011-2015 timeframe?
I do see many self destructive behaviors from LT, even if she wasn't a "cutter". I bet she did split and rage and then apologize and put the kids on a pedestal. Oh, honey, I'm so sorry, I bought you this toy while I was out, too bad I'm crazy as $#@& and have decided you've now done something to not deserve it again.
I do see volatility in her relationships, even though she's remained married (hoarding, moving, bankruptcy). I see magical thinking (Disney, Elvis, the staged pics, running away from trashed houses). I see emotional disregulation. And I see him putting up and/or going along until he has reached his own delusional or psychotic breaking point. Where a more normal person would end the relationship, he exerts abusive control.
I'm not an expert. I should probably step away from this for awhile. All my opinion.
