Found Deceased CA - Blaze Bernstein, 19, Lake Forest, 2 Jan 2018 #2

[Seajay]

General question here for experienced websluethers or anyone that knows:

If a person decides to run away is it a crime? For example in the Blaze case, if he decided he wanted a fresh start and no association with family can he run away without legal repercussion? If the LE determine there is no evidence of foul play then what happens to the privacy of the person? If Blaze decided to run away being a legal adult would his parents be able to access his information? I guess kind of like where is the line between search and rescue and privacy when it comes to these situations?

In a perfect world a person should have the decency to inform their loved ones if they want to part with them and their loved ones should accept that choice but we don't live in a perfect world so I am curious how this works.

Years ago, there was a Runaway Bride. She disappeared and an expensive search was performed to find her. When she was found, she made up some cockamamie story about being abducted, which cost more resources. Come to find out, she got cold feet and split. She was ordered to pay restitution for all the costs it took to locate her. That was the crime.

Had she notified her family she didn't want to get married, there was no crime committed.

In Blaze's case, if he left on his own, he had a right to. Once he saw what a big deal it became, he should have contacted his family or LE, to let him know he was safe and he left on his own.

 

[stlrfninca]

I'd like to address the HS friend and his seemingly multiple stores of what happened in the park. I don't think it's the friend changing stories, I think it's media changing the stories for whatever reason.

Remember, all three versions of the events in the park are coming to us from media sources, not LE or Blaze's parents. What has LE and/or Blaze's parents said about the park? What version of events is LE giving? I think that is the version we should be sticking too, not what the media is reporting. Just throwing in my two-cents.

Totally agree... the media in general are more unreliable than witnesses. They are often in too much of a hurry or too lazy to get the details accurate, or worse, they manipulate them to fit whatever narrative they are trying to create.

It never ceases to amaze me how careless they are with the facts, often completely oblivious or indifferent to the impact their inaccuracies have on the people involved in the story.

 

[DAnthrplgst]

Remember tha his mother was very concerned that he needed his medications; it has been a week. The leave from school, medical / psychological issues... so worried abiut BB!....he may be very ill now, bring him home. He did not look strong.


QUOTE=misshestermoffet;13855462]Yes! Absolutely. I'm just wondering:

Was he home from a six month leave of absence?

Or was he home for a midwinter break and was there first semester?

I've seen conflicting reports. It's a difference of his location of, say, three weeks, to six/seven months.

[/QUOTE]

To be truthful, I'm kinda taking his mother's comments about the medication as nothing overly important, at least in the context of trying to find Blaze. I have exercise induced asthma and use one of those corny Ventolin inhalers. I don't really need the inhaler, if I just sit and relax for a few minutes the weezing stops and I'm good. If you asked my mother about the inhaler she would tell you I'll die without it, even though I rarely use it and leave it at home 90% of the time. Just to toss this out there, I'm a 44yo man who still gets yelled at by his mother for leaving his inhaler at home.

 

[NancyDrew0728]

My daughter went to high school with Blaze. The high school they attended is a commuter high school in which kids from all over the county or other counties attend. Most of my daughter's high school friends did not know her home address, as they mostly saw each other at school since they lived too far apart to see each other after school or on the weekends. Also, I didn't know some of my daughter's high school friends, and except for one of her friends, I did not have their contact info, and they did not have mine.

Knowing this, it completely makes sense to me that the guy (high school friend from what I have read) who picked Blaze up did not know his home address. It also makes sense to me that the parents did not know who this guy was or had any contact info for him.

Personally, I think this guy did what Blaze asked him to do which was drop him off at this park, and after Blaze disappeared and did not most likely respond to this guy's texts, he became worried and eventually returned to the park at 4am to see if he could find Blaze. My theory is that Blaze is a victim of a Grindr hook up gone bad with whomever he was meeting at this park.

My only question about this theory is... why wouldn’t he have just called Lyft or Uber to drop him off? Does anyone know if they’re readily available in the area?

Other than that, I’m thinking along the same lines...

 

['Ailina]

Totally agree... the media in general are more unreliable than witnesses. They are often in too much of a hurry or too lazy to get the details accurate, or worse, they manipulate them to fit whatever narrative they are trying to create.

It never ceases to amaze me how careless they are with the facts, often completely oblivious or indifferent to the impact their inaccuracies have on the people involved in the story.

And the mayhem it creates here at WS. [emoji6] -- Only half-joking.

 

['Ailina]

To be truthful, I'm kinda taking his mother's comments about the medication as nothing overly important, at least in the context of trying to find Blaze. I have exercise induced asthma and use one of those corny Ventolin inhalers. I don't really need the inhaler, if I just sit and relax for a few minutes the weezing stops and I'm good. If you asked my mother about the inhaler she would tell you I'll die without it, even though I rarely use it and leave it at home 90% of the time. Just to toss this out there, I'm a 44yo man who still gets yelled at by his mother for leaving his inhaler at home.

Heh. There's a club for that -- Welcome.

 

[Elainera]

Something just occurred to me: Blaze supposedly did not answer texts from his driver friend after "running off" but did send a text to the female friend at 11.30pm.

If driver friend is telling the truth, why did Blaze not answer his attempts to communicate with him? Was he not able to, or not willing to? Was he deceased by that point, or did he and driver friend have a falling out and he was upset?

If he was deceased, who sent the text to the female friend later? If a third person sent it - why would they do that?

I actually think that driver friend is telling the truth because he would know that LE could look at his phone records and see if he really sent Blaze texts or is lying. Would he risk that?

So if he's telling the truth, again, why did Blaze not answer him? I think they had a spat, he was the reason Blaze was upset. Maybe upset enough to take his own life?

This scenario might also explain why driver friend returned at 4am - he was feeling remorseful, might have regretted something he said, might have tried again to call Blaze and found out the phone had by now been switched off. Might have hoped to find Blaze back in the parking lot or close by. He surely knew that Blaze was due to return to college very soon. Wanted to see him before he leaves.

The lengthy conversation before Blaze left home, the meeting at night at a park, Blaze "running off", then not answering his phone, friend returning later ... This all smells of relationship drama.

All just my speculation.

 

[KaliChick]

My only question about this theory is... why wouldn’t he have just called Lyft or Uber to drop him off? Does anyone know if they’re readily available in the area?

Other than that, I’m thinking along the same lines...

Fairly accessible but not on every corner if that makes sense. If he wasn't planning on being a long time a friend makes more sense. Also, this was pretty close to his home .. like would have only been a couple minute drive so I don't see why uber/lyft would make sense

 

[stlrfninca]

In Blaze's case, if he left on his own, he had a right to. Once he saw what a big deal it became, he should have contacted his family or LE, to let him know he was safe and he left on his own.

This is an excellent point! Taking this into consideration tends to tip the scale towards foul play unfortunately.

Let's just hope it's one of those cases where he's just scared right now, didn't realize how much attention would be paid to this, and he's trying to figure out what do do and how and when to let everyone know that he's OK.

 

[JerseyGirl]

I have forgotten if it was reported whether the parents personally knew or knew of the driver friend.

Do we know only from the driver that he was an old HS friend? Is it a fact he was a real friend, or could he and Blaze have met only recently, or only online for that matter? The guy didn't know where Blaze lived.

This is what BB's father had to say about the driver friend:

Gideon said he did not know his son’s friend, but learned they had known each other “for a while.”

“We talked to this person after the fact and they were helpful,” he said.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...ft-parents-home-meet-friend-article-1.3741871

 

[HoveringWombats]

My only question about this theory is... why wouldn’t he have just called Lyft or Uber to drop him off? Does anyone know if they’re readily available in the area?

I live a little further out, but I don’t find Uber or Lyft to always be available. Especially late at night on a weeknight. When they are available, it takes anywhere from 15-30 minutes for them to show up unless I get really lucky. Foothill Ranch is probably a bit better than that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if late night availability was still poor.

 

[DizzyB]

Uber and Lyft are tied to a credit card-if Blaze had a credit card that his parents supplied (more than likely), they can see the expenditure. Maybe he didn't want that.

 

['Ailina]

Something just occurred to me: Blaze supposedly did not answer texts from his driver friend after "running off" but did send a text to the female friend at 11.30pm.

If driver friend is telling the truth, why did Blaze not answer his attempts to communicate with him? Was he not able to, or not willing to? Was he deceased by that point, or did he and driver friend have a falling out and he was upset?

If he was deceased, who sent the text to the female friend later? If a third person sent it - why would they do that?

I actually think that driver friend is telling the truth because he would know that LE could look at his phone records and see if he really sent Blaze texts or is lying. Would he risk that?

So if he's telling the truth, again, why did Blaze not answer him? I think they had a spat, he was the reason Blaze was upset. Maybe upset enough to take his own life?

This scenario might also explain why driver friend returned at 4am - he was feeling remorseful, might have regretted something he said, might have tried again to call Blaze and found out the phone had by now been switched off. Might have hoped to find Blaze back in the parking lot or close by. He surely knew that Blaze was due to return to college very soon. Wanted to see him before he leaves.

The lengthy conversation before Blaze left home, the meeting at night at a park, Blaze "running off", then not answering his phone, friend returning later ... This all smells of relationship drama.

All just my speculation.

Your questions and descriptions here gave me a visual:

In the time UP TO walking out of the house, BB's communications and actions were directed toward the driver, in particular.

AFTER that point in time, maybe even starting as early as BB's driveway -- we just don't know -- BB's communications and actions were directed away from the driver, in particular.

Why, how, & exactly when, we don't know. But thinking of it in terms of flow...there was a 180° change-of-direction that happened, and it happened when BB and the driver crossed physical paths.

Edited to add: I think if you throw out everything we've been told (2nd friend, park, bathroom) but keep the confirmed facts, this visual is significant.

 

[katydid23]

General question here for experienced websluethers or anyone that knows:

If a person decides to run away is it a crime? For example in the Blaze case, if he decided he wanted a fresh start and no association with family can he run away without legal repercussion? If the LE determine there is no evidence of foul play then what happens to the privacy of the person? If Blaze decided to run away being a legal adult would his parents be able to access his information? I guess kind of like where is the line between search and rescue and privacy when it comes to these situations?

In a perfect world a person should have the decency to inform their loved ones if they want to part with them and their loved ones should accept that choice but we don't live in a perfect world so I am curious how this works.

In my experience with other cases, where an adult ran away, and family was searching---I have seen where the person has reached out to LE, and they need to verify themselves, and that they are OK. Usually in person.

But then the cops usually make a short brief PRIVATE statement to the parents---subject has been located, they are OK, but do not want contact at this time.

Not that satisfying I am sure, but better than not knowing and just searching endlessly.

 

[Elainera]

Hopefully someone knows the answers to these questions I have floating around and I can't put together.

1) are we sure the park started off as the destination. Meaning, he is chatting with a friend and they made a plan to go to ??? to catch up. Meanwhile, BB gets a message to meet someone at the park. The driver thinks it's only going to be a minute and decides 'hey, I'm gonna run to the restroom while you meet ??. The driver planned to meet back up and continue on their adventure.

2) further back on this thread, someone thought the bff who recieved the last text message was in PA. Well, if you were in danger wouldn't you call the person who dropped you off. And honestly, if it was a borrowed phone then the last person you spoke with would be at the top of your contacts or messages. At least on my phone it does. Would you have loaded contacts in a borrowed phone? I don't. I have had to do that before and I just messaged people I contact most and say, "I misplaced my phone but this is where you can reach me until ???" Otherwise, he would need his SIM card to have his contacts.

I also don't think he was suicidal at this point. And he is methodical according to his parents. Meticulous thinking, I have a feeling he did not set out to meet someone for sex. I think this is something he couldn't control. MOO of course.

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk

bbm Very good point. If this was a 'Help me' message it would have made much more sense to text or call the friend who is waiting in his car close by.

 

[LadeeDi]

Uber and Lyft are connected to your phone. Blaze was borrowing this phone. It could be that the Uber and Lyft Apps were not on this phone or if they were Blaze didn't want the charge going to the credit card associated with this phone.

 

[misshestermoffet]

I think it's important to note that we have not seen any confirmed indication of the gender of the drop off friend.

Even the parents have not specifically used he or she. If I am not mistaken, direct quotes list the father saying "this person," "buddy." Even media are reporting it as "friend." I think our brains assume that "high school buddy" means male because BB is male and "buddy" could imply the same, but I also think it's important not to address by a specific gender because we just simply don't know.

 

[TMAN2014]

Your questions and descriptions here gave me a visual:

In the time UP TO walking out of the house, BB's communications and actions were directed toward the driver, in particular.

AFTER that point in time, maybe even starting as early as BB's driveway -- we just don't know -- BB's communications and actions were directed away from the driver, in particular.

Why, how, & exactly when, we don't know. But thinking of it in terms of flow...there was a 180° change-of-direction that happened, and it happened when BB and the driver crossed physical paths.

Edited to add: I think if you throw out everything we've been told (2nd friend, park, bathroom) but keep the confirmed facts, this visual is significant.

Yeah, it's kind of convenient and strange, isn't it. The friend was only good for the quick ride, and it's like he becomes a stranger with little information, at the key time of disappearance.

 

[katydid23]

I would like to make one clarification about SnapChat. While it indeed usually does not save chats, there is the option to do so. If I receive a message from someone, I can save it in our chat thread. Additionally, you can also set your phone to save all of your chats. I know a number of my friends who do this because, especially if you use the app a lot, you tend to forget what you were discussing (literally happens to me like every other day).

To add my own personal experience, I have met people from dating apps before and usually use SnapChat as the initial mode of communication outside the dating app since it seems less personal, more of a social media platform, and I can usually "hide" my true identity (they can only identify me via my username, which is an alias). Using this platform allows me to block people if they turn out to be sketchy (and I never have to hear from them again) and leaves essentially no trace (unless I/they choose to save conversations).

I hope this helps!

THANK YOU. I was wanting to say a similar thing. My daughter has shown me 'saved' snap chats from a long conversation she has been having with a 'frenemy' -coworker of hers. So I knew there was a way to save previous chats somehow because when I go visit she has pulled them up for me.

 

[Dancer1983always]

To use uber, lyft, etc. you need to use a credit card. It's likely his parents pay or monitor his credit card.

I think it's likely the "buddy" drove him to a meet up spot with a stranger to build in a level of safety in case whomever he met up with was a total whack. It could have been as something as casual as if I don't come back in a few minutes, everything went well. That assumes a level of control on BB's behalf, which maybe was indicative of past experiences with meeting men online for hook ups.