Okay, understood. As you can see, I am not as familiar with how to post here as you might be. They weren't exactly private conversations, but rather in adoption support type groups, so pretty extensive and plentiful over a lot of years - far from a one-off. Regardless, I get your point and acknowledge there is truth in it. Mine is simply that it is not always an optimal situation for the adoptee and, in some case, much less than optimal. It is a complex issue and there is no easy answer. This sad situation appears to be an especially bad example.
Ive been on here for a couple years and am still learning so no worries, you are doing just fine. And welcome. Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts.
Sadly, I think that bad people are bad people. Adopters are not excluded from that. Hell, look at all the bio parents on this site who do terrible things to their children.
I think my best friends mom, who is truly an amazing woman and mother, would be very sad to read the first link you posted in your other thread. She tried so hard to be the best mom she could be, and she did/does a damn good job. I would not try to invalidate anyones feelings, especially in such a sensitive and personal situation, but I would imagine that bloggers parents would be upset to read that post. JMO
JMO again, but I feel like being in the foster care system can be way less than optimal compared to being adopted by another race. Strictly my opinion.