CA CA - Sydney “Syd” West, 19, University of CA student, San Francisco, 30 Sept 2020

[overworkedcollegestudent]

Hi Clue!
Such a sad story here. Hoping and hoping that Syd is laying on a beach in Mexico, and doing yoga at a retreat. Oblivious to all the fuss that is happening around her case.

Do you believe she ran away? I thought about that but than realized there wasn’t really anywhere else to run to. She is already across the country from her parents, not in school, I don’t know why I just am really beginning to doubt that theory even more although I really want to believe it.

 

[SouthAussie]

Do you believe she ran away? I thought about that but than realized there wasn’t really anywhere else to run to. She is already across the country from her parents, not in school, I don’t know why I just am really beginning to doubt that theory even more although I really want to believe it.

I like to think that there is as good of a chance of that as any other.

This is a well travelled girl. She has been to a few places. Worked with the under-privileged overseas. Done some really good things in her life. She is not a sheltered homebody. She knows how to get from place to place.

Why would she stay in San Fran/CA where she might be found? If being found is not on her agenda.
Why would she turn to known friends if hiding out is her aim? Why would she stick around to perhaps be judged when she chose to withdraw from her studies, be compared to others who are still studying, be 'encouraged' to resume 'normal' life? A life she seems to have no longer wanted.

She didn't have to withdraw from studies, if she wanted to end her life. There is a reason for her withdrawal. Perhaps it was to get a chunk of money?

 

[overworkedcollegestudent]

I like to think that there is as good of a chance of that as any other.

This is a well travelled girl. She has been to a few places. Worked with the under-privileged overseas. Done some really good things in her life. She is not a sheltered homebody. She knows how to get from place to place.

Why would she stay in San Fran/CA where she might be found? If being found is not on her agenda.
Why would she turn to known friends if hiding out is her aim? Why would she stick around to perhaps be judged when she chose to withdraw from her studies, be compared to others who are still studying, be 'encouraged' to resume 'normal' life? A life she seems to have no longer wanted.

She didn't have to withdraw from studies, if she wanted to end her life. There is a reason for her withdrawal. Perhaps it was to get a chunk of money?

I hope you’re right. That’s very possible, I just find it odd that there have been no sightings (anywhere). Also, I thought maybe she jumped because she thought her life was ruined after withdrawing from school (a choice she may or may not have thoroughly thought about before it was made).

<modsnipped> Whole situation is so sad. Do we know if she got any money from Berkeley?

 

[SouthAussie]

I hope you’re right. That’s very possible, I just find it odd that there have been no sightings (anywhere). Also, I thought maybe she jumped because she thought her life was ruined after withdrawing from school (a choice she may or may not have thoroughly thought about before it was made).

When I listen to Syd in the posted video, she is a well thought out woman. She has taken on board things that many people far older than she do not understand. She has coping mechanisms for her anxiety. She reminds herself that things are not important, to take a deep breath.

I have been trying hard to understand why Syd withdrew from University. In the book I recently read - a 19 year old in a similar situation to Syd - he never once thought about withdrawing. He many times wanted to (and almost did) end his life.
The college people that I have read about, who have ended their lives, did not withdraw prior.

Withdrawing from University is not a prerequisite to ending your life.
Syd waited around until a refund for tuition should have been issued.

And we no longer know that there have been no sightings. Syd's parents recently stated that there have been tips - tips that have been/are being followed up.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

When I listen to Syd in the posted video, she is a well thought out woman. She has taken on board things that many people far older than she do not understand. She has coping mechanisms for her anxiety. She reminds herself that things are not important, to take a deep breath.

I have been trying hard to understand why Syd withdrew from University. In the book I recently read - a 19 year old in a similar situation to Syd - he never once thought about withdrawing. He many times wanted to (and almost did) end his life.
The college people that I have read about, who have ended their lives, did not withdraw prior.

Withdrawing from University is not a prerequisite to ending your life.
Syd waited around until a refund for tuition should have been issued.

And we no longer know that there have been no sightings. Syd's parents recently stated that there have been tips - tips that have been/are being followed up.

The uncle was quoted in the N&O from Raleigh regarding difficulties after arriving in the dorm.

Many U.S. colleges have students withdraw or revoke their housing contract if the student is having a mental health crisis. It depends on the university. Stanford recently revised their push-out policies due to a lawsuit and a settlement agreement - Stanford changes leave policies on mental illness If this link does not work, this one might In 'historic' settlement, Stanford agrees to revise leave of absence policies for students in mental health crisis

Here is the lawsuit filing and it is worth reading because it explains how the students are told to leave campus with a bar so high and invasive in returning to college there that they are basically likely shut out for ever returning again.....
https://dralegal.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/AmendedComplaint_Final.pdf

and the settlement agreement
https://dralegal.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Stanford_Settlement_Accessible.pdf

 

[SouthAussie]

The uncle was quoted in the N&O from Raleigh regarding difficulties after arriving in the dorm.

Many U.S. colleges have students withdraw or revoke their housing contract if the student is having a mental health crisis. It depends on the university. Stanford recently revised their push-out policies due to a lawsuit and a settlement agreement - Stanford changes leave policies on mental illness If this link does not work, this one might In 'historic' settlement, Stanford agrees to revise leave of absence policies for students in mental health crisis

Here is the lawsuit filing
https://dralegal.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/AmendedComplaint_Final.pdf

and the settlement agreement
https://dralegal.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Stanford_Settlement_Accessible.pdf

I don't think people would be still following this thread if they are 100% certain that Syd has ended her life.

I am focusing on reasons and methodology of why Syd is still with us, rather than keep looking at reasons why she might not be.

The book I just read has widened my views on this ... a lot.
These kids keep pumping and pumping at it. They know they are unwell. And they keep on trying. They may like to get away from their parents, who have cheerful expectations for them, who think they know what will help. But it is a learning curve for all.
They may drink too much, smoke too much pot, trying to dull their empty feeling. They may skip lectures, hole up in their rooms ... but they still have days/nights where they join with their friends.
If they are lucky, their world can turn from grey to colours again. If they do what they must do to relieve the pressure. Like withdraw from University.

 

[Mind your biscuits]

A very sad read.
One thing it does highlight is how determined a person must be to jump from the bridge. And how women do it less than men. (Studies show that overdose is the most common way for females.)

I have to say that I choked up reading about people tossing their kid or their dog off the bridge first, before jumping. How desperately sad. Moo.

 

[Stripehaven]

The uncle was quoted in the N&O from Raleigh regarding difficulties after arriving in the dorm.

Many U.S. colleges have students withdraw or revoke their housing contract if the student is having a mental health crisis. It depends on the university. Stanford recently revised their push-out policies due to a lawsuit and a settlement agreement - Stanford changes leave policies on mental illness If this link does not work, this one might In 'historic' settlement, Stanford agrees to revise leave of absence policies for students in mental health crisis

Here is the lawsuit filing and it is worth reading because it explains how the students are told to leave campus with a bar so high and invasive in returning to college there that they are basically likely shut out for ever returning again.....
https://dralegal.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/AmendedComplaint_Final.pdf

and the settlement agreement
https://dralegal.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Stanford_Settlement_Accessible.pdf

This is heartbreaking. So much pressure on kids today.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

This is heartbreaking. So much pressure on kids today.

Yes, the push out policy leaves the college students with no place to go. If they go for help to the counseling center, then they can be put on the street with nowhere to go. The New York Times article is here Feeling Suicidal, Students Turned to Their College. They Were Told to Go Home. (Published 2018)

Here is a quote: "The Stanford lawsuit says that students who were placed on leave were effectively banished from the university and stripped of their privacy and autonomy. Their own doctors were second-guessed by the university’s, the suit says, and the students were required to immediately withdraw from all classes, programs and housing. To return to campus, they had to write personal statements “accepting blame” for their behavior."

 

[anneg]

I just can't get past Syd being seen on the bridge that morning. It's hard for me to imagine that instead of jumping, she managed to leave the bridge unseen and went into hiding somewhere. JMO

 

[Seni]

I like to think that there is as good of a chance of that as any other.

This is a well travelled girl. She has been to a few places. Worked with the under-privileged overseas. Done some really good things in her life. She is not a sheltered homebody. She knows how to get from place to place.

Why would she stay in San Fran/CA where she might be found? If being found is not on her agenda.
Why would she turn to known friends if hiding out is her aim? Why would she stick around to perhaps be judged when she chose to withdraw from her studies, be compared to others who are still studying, be 'encouraged' to resume 'normal' life? A life she seems to have no longer wanted.

She didn't have to withdraw from studies, if she wanted to end her life. There is a reason for her withdrawal. Perhaps it was to get a chunk of money?

Bolded excerpt. What money and how could she access it?

 

[SouthAussie]

Bolded excerpt. What money and how could she access it?

There is a discussion further back in the thread about tuition money. Maybe do a thread search on 'tuition' and you should find it.

 

[Birdie1212]

If anyone wants to join me, I will be taking a quiet moment at 8pm EST on Sunday, November 1 (tomorrow) to visualize Sydney being brought back to and reuniting with her family. When many people visualize together it can be quite powerful. Join me.

 

[elisimo]

She didn't have to withdraw from studies, if she wanted to end her life. There is a reason for her withdrawal. Perhaps it was to get a chunk of money?

This is one detail that has me thinking, too. I wonder how much time elapsed between the withdrawal and her disappearance. If it was a relatively short timeframe, that could make the case for a quick getaway. If more time had elapsed, she would have had longer to ruminate/obsess over the decision, which could have fed the depression, and led to suicidal thoughts/actions.

 

[Kaligirl]

I think if she decided to take her life it was a sudden decision and that is why she had to get rid of her backpack, to be more nimble. I do not think it would have been days in planning. In reverse, I do think she could have walked over the bridge into Sausalito. I live near this area and have had my radar up, but so many people have the same description and with masks on it'snear impossible unless you were within a foot or two. So let's hope she is somewhere of the radar. I also don't think it's fair you all assume that her parents put pressure on her, they may have been quite the opposite, urging her to take a gap year to gain better tools to cope like mindfulness and yoga.

 

[owleye]

At this point, it is clear the parents want to keep most all information private, except for last known location and physical description. The reasons must be personal in nature, there has certainly never been a missing persons case that I can recall where this kind of privacy was evoked. Whatever is going on, it seems all that is wanted from the public is to keep an eye out for her - they don't want the public "boots on the ground" searching or trying to help solve anything. It seems the family views this as a mainly private matter. For that reason, I guess there is no reason to keep trying to help, beyond keeping a look out - too much information is being withheld. For people who want to actively help, because they have experience with this kind of thing, or have natural talents, this can be frustrating. I pray for peace for the family.

 

[Stripehaven]

Yes, the push out policy leaves the college students with no place to go. If they go for help to the counseling center, then they can be put on the street with nowhere to go. The New York Times article is here Feeling Suicidal, Students Turned to Their College. They Were Told to Go Home. (Published 2018)

Here is a quote: "The Stanford lawsuit says that students who were placed on leave were effectively banished from the university and stripped of their privacy and autonomy. Their own doctors were second-guessed by the university’s, the suit says, and the students were required to immediately withdraw from all classes, programs and housing. To return to campus, they had to write personal statements “accepting blame” for their behavior."

This is horrifying! I had no idea. I’m angry.

 

[kelsie]

Find Sydney West: Hopeful friends, family gather in Pleasanton | KRON4
No news. Last thing is this from a week ago.

 

[SouthAussie]

This is one detail that has me thinking, too. I wonder how much time elapsed between the withdrawal and her disappearance. If it was a relatively short timeframe, that could make the case for a quick getaway. If more time had elapsed, she would have had longer to ruminate/obsess over the decision, which could have fed the depression, and led to suicidal thoughts/actions.

Or ... Syd could have used that time to make other plans. Perhaps the friends that she was living with were the type to mentally help her along, give her strength to make a new start. Help her concoct a plan to disappear without anyone else being blamed for her disappearance.

 

[NSamuelle]

Find Sydney West: Hopeful friends, family gather in Pleasanton | KRON4
No news. Last thing is this from a week ago.

Media are barely reporting that she was last seen on the bridge. It’s baffling. When a teen girl disappeared in that area (later found to have jumped), a support group of 11,000 members popped up on the first day of her disappearance. I’ve gone to Syd’s Instagram and barely anyone is commenting; the Find Sydney social media sites don’t have much support. I know the parents are in an awful position and are trying to protect her privacy or theirs, but I have truly never seen a case like this with so little information or transparency.