CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #15

[ICUDOUCME]

Jumping off your post and this may not even be allowed if not mods delete. I saw the post that said DR's grandmother was sick and that is why he didn't want to go away on Thanksgiving. Pictures being taken, etc. My question is have there been anymore posts from this person that I have missed? Just curious and maybe that post was not even factual. jmo

I haven't seen any more.

 

[shefner]

I think its very difficult for LE to meet the high standard of proof when they feel a family has done something to a victim. Without a body, finding fingerprints of the victim in the home won't mean anything. I have seen some cases where the victim's blood is found in the home or car and the family member says, "Well, they cut their finger one time so yeah, their blood is there."
I am not saying we must have a body but if, IF, a family member did something to Dylan, it's going to be tough to prove.
I hate thinking this way but its all we have.

 

[Confusion]

It might never be too late

but forcing a child to spend time with someone if they don't want to causes a lot of anger and resentment. So much resentment that the child takes it out on the parent forcing them to go, physically hitting out at them and verbally abusing them. it can also cause the child to rebel against authority.

it can traumatise and leave long lasting trust issues, dealing with those is a hard thing to do

Do you have any links to this happening with Dylan and Mark? TIA

 

[tamild]

It might never be too late

but forcing a child to spend time with someone if they don't want to causes a lot of anger and resentment. So much resentment that the child takes it out on the parent forcing them to go, physically hitting out at them and verbally abusing them. it can also cause the child to rebel against authority.

it can traumatise and leave long lasting trust issues, dealing with those is a hard thing to do

I don't know if this is a blanket statement or a personal experience, but if it's the latter, I'm very sorry :cry:

 

[oceanblueeyes]

It might never be too late

but forcing a child to spend time with someone if they don't want to causes a lot of anger and resentment. So much resentment that the child takes it out on the parent forcing them to go, physically hitting out at them and verbally abusing them. it can also cause the child to rebel against authority.

it can traumatise and leave long lasting trust issues, dealing with those is a hard thing to do

I have no evidence he was forced to do anything.

In fact I think 'court ordered' has been blown way out of proportion just like the 'sole custody' has been when it doesnt even exist in Colorado law.

He always had a right to see his child but since Elaine moved 5.5 hours away from him she was given physical responsibility with MR still having his visitation rights.

Dylan was just there in September on the Labor Day break. The Judge probably set up a schedule that would be during holiday breaks.

Ive heard no one say Dylan was miserable when he went to his dad's in September or he didnt want to be there. This is the area he grew up in since he was a young child and the area where all of his best friends are that he had been to school with throughout his school years.

IMO

 

[oceanblueeyes]

No mention of Dylan wanting to spend time with his father tho , all about him wanting to see his old friends . That says a lot when he is barely sees his dad !

That shows me he is a typical thirteen year old of today that would rather be anywhere else in the world with their cool closest friends than hanging out at home with a parent. Hanging out with parents are no longer seen as cool and even some children can be heckled for it by their teen peers.

IMO

 

[ICUDOUCME]

My children ages 13, and 15 have a father that has not be a part of there life for 10 years, not phone calls, no contact, not even a card, and not because he doesn't have rights, it's just that he doesn't choose to use them. This being said when he recently called this last year, neither one of them wanted anything to do with him. I told him he had alot to make up for, and that I would not force them to see him, but I do however make them to tell him if they don't want to talk to him on the phone, or want to see him. It is there choice, and if they really didn't want to go, and could say it to his face then they need to do that. If however they don't then by all means he(being there father)has the right to take them, would I let him, probably not without going to court first! I do not believe they would lash out at me if they had to go, but I do believe they would lash out at him.

 

[ThePhantom]

Ever feel like there's something big you're missing -- right under your nose; obvious, but not --

 

[aust amateur slueth]

Do you have any links to this happening with Dylan and Mark? TIA

I didn't use any names as it was a general comment, if I had been meaning Dylan and Mark then I would have used their names.

IMO we don't have enough information to know one way or the other what the dynamics of their relationship was and I doubt they will unseal the court records and tell us.

 

[mck16]

It might never be too late

but forcing a child to spend time with someone if they don't want to causes a lot of anger and resentment. So much resentment that the child takes it out on the parent forcing them to go, physically hitting out at them and verbally abusing them. it can also cause the child to rebel against authority.

it can traumatise and leave long lasting trust issues, dealing with those is a hard thing to do

But, as I have been told many times, It was a court ordered visit and she (ER) had to make him go. I personally don't think she should have if she had these feelings about MR and what she has accused him of. Course this observation is in hindsight. jmo

 

[Abby Normal Again]

The kind of parent that loves his child, and is a bit selfish about wanting to spend the holiday with him....he probably wasn't even aware about the sick grandparent(ER and MR appear not to be able to even have a civil conversation now even when DR is missing this speeks volumes).

This is in general regarding a sick grandparent, not to you.
ETA
Made a mistake, it was a rumor of a sick grandma.

But it was a RUMOR. Someone made an account here, said they were kin, and said they read on the internet that there was a sick grandma. It must be distant kin because they had no more information than us. And they read it on the internet.
Not sure if the link works, it was the start of thread 5. User find dylan.
[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?p=8593466#post8593466"]CO CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #5 - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]

I just got an account and wanted to share that Dylan wanted to spend Thanksgiving with his mom and other family as his Grandma has cancer. It was going to be a big get togeather with pictures being taken.

I am related. I found this when doing a search. I don't know much more then you all do though.

 

[aust amateur slueth]

I have no evidence he was forced to do anything.

In fact I think 'court ordered' has been blown way out of proportion just like the 'sole custody' has been when it doesnt even exist in Colorado law.

He always had a right to see his child but since Elaine moved 5.5 hours away from him she was given physical responsibility with MR still having his visitation rights.

Dylan was just there in September on the Labor Day break. The Judge probably set up a schedule that would be during holiday breaks.

Ive heard no one say Dylan was miserable when he went to his dad's in September or he didnt want to be there. This is the area he grew up in since he was a young child and the area where all of his best friends are that he had been to school with throughout his school years.

IMO

It was a general comment, had my comment been specifically about Dylan then I would have used his name.

 

[The Cheese]

Several possible sightings of Dylan were reported early on, but those have been discounted.

Read more: With Dylan Redwine missing for almost two weeks, dad clings to hope - The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_22108222/dad-its-wait-wonder#ixzz2EwXTSdIy


does that clarify it?

Not for me. That doesn't cite a source for the statement.

I haven't seen anything yet from police saying that the postal worker sighting of Dylan was ruled not to be Dylan. I don't think it was Dylan personally, but I can't rule it out without hearing from police that they figured out who it was.

 

[Confusion]

I have no evidence he was forced to do anything.

In fact I think 'court ordered' has been blown way out of proportion just like the 'sole custody' has been when it doesnt even exist in Colorado law.

He always had a right to see his child but since Elaine moved 5.5 hours away from him she was given physical responsibility with MR still having his visitation rights.

Dylan was just there in September on the Labor Day break. The Judge probably set up a schedule that would be during holiday breaks.

Ive heard no one say Dylan was miserable when he went to his dad's in September or he didnt want to be there. This is the area he grew up in since he was a young child and the area where all of his best friends are that he had been to school with throughout his school years.

IMO

ITA I thought it was rather telling when being asked directly that Elaine basically said that the reason he didn't exercise his parental rights much the past 3 years is that he was working on the road a lot of the time. She also changed her statement from saying that Dylan didn't want to go/be there to saying that Mark really didn't know him well.

I've seen the press change the wording of things that Mark has said, and add to them once they become aware of more, but I haven't heard or seen a direct quote of anything he has changed his story about. MOO

 

[oceanblueeyes]

Not for me. That doesn't cite a source for the statement.

I haven't seen anything yet from police saying that the postal worker sighting of Dylan was ruled not to be Dylan. I don't think it was Dylan personally, but I can't rule it out without hearing from police that they figured out who it was.

I sure hope they arent ruling out credible sightings. That would be devastating.

IMO

 

[Donjeta]

It might never be too late

but forcing a child to spend time with someone if they don't want to causes a lot of anger and resentment. So much resentment that the child takes it out on the parent forcing them to go, physically hitting out at them and verbally abusing them. it can also cause the child to rebel against authority.

it can traumatise and leave long lasting trust issues, dealing with those is a hard thing to do

But not spending time with the parent may traumatise and leave issues as well.

I would not advise any non-custodial parent in a bitter divorce situation to give up their rights to visitation easily because even if it is the teen's own choice initially, or the other parent's preference, it gets very easily turned into, "well, you know, their dad never cared anything about them anyway, he hasn't seen them in X months/years..." and that can be harmful for the child as well.

 

[Confusion]

Not for me. That doesn't cite a source for the statement.

I haven't seen anything yet from police saying that the postal worker sighting of Dylan was ruled not to be Dylan. I don't think it was Dylan personally, but I can't rule it out without hearing from police that they figured out who it was.

Maybe I'm confused about which one they did say, or maybe LE never ruled out either of them. :waitasec:

 

[oceanblueeyes]

ITA I thought it was rather telling when being asked directly that Elaine basically said that the reason he didn't exercise his parental rights much the past 3 years is that he was working on the road a lot of the time. She also changed her statement from saying that Dylan didn't want to go/be there to saying that Mark really didn't know him well.

I've seen the press change the wording of things that Mark has said, and add to them once they become aware of more, but I haven't heard or seen a direct quote of anything he has changed his story about. MOO

She does seem to change her statements quite a bit. That would be as absurd as saying a military father didnt want to see his kids because he is deployed overseas.

That is one thing I have noticed about MR....if he is asked any question ...he answers it except when the reporter wants to talk about the divorce and what Elaine has accused him of......

IMO

 

[windrower]

Hate to say it but yeah, people do.

My Mom had a little girl come to her door the other day asking if she had any "snacks" that she could share. She asked the girl if she was hungry (as opposed to just looking for candy or something) and the girl said yes, then had her slightly younger brother come to the door also asking for "snacks." My Mom asked if they were lost, alone, etc. and the kids said no, mom was asleep and they were locked out. Turned out to be 3 or 4 (my Mom wasn't sure, some seemed to be hiding) kids between ages 4 and 9 or 10, going door to door begging for food while 'mommy' took her 'nap.' After they talked for a bit my Mom figured out that the kids are normally locked outside on their own in a relatively busy neighborhood for 4-5 hours/day. It made me physically shake when my Mom told me this story and I thought of the horrible things that could happen to these children. My Mom called LE and they did come out so hopefully the kids are in a better situation... I really, really hope.

Related to Dylan's case I am not implicating the family or neighbors in any way whatsoever, just saying, as hard as it is for us to believe, yes there are families/parents who don't give a crap about their kids or their safety. I realize opinions vary on being protective vs. over-protective but IMO there's a definite area called "neglect."

Okay. The situation with Dylan was nothing like what is described above, I don't think.

I'm not sure where all of you live who think leaving a 13-year-old to his own devices is irresponsible--maybe you haven't said it directly, but that seems to be the message.

For those of us who live in rural areas--small towns, farming and ranching communities, etc.--the rules are probably a little more relaxed than if you live in the middle of a big city or busy suburbs. Our children would walk to their elementary school, and later the fishing pond, the property we owned that was not adjacent to our house, to friends' houses, to Grandma's, down to the ice cream shop, all over. I would venture to say that those of you who cannot imagine allowing your child to do such things did not raise them in a rural community where others besides the parents helped look out for kids.

Yes, we parents were and are aware of the dangers in the world, and didn't allow kids to run wild with no accountability (and for the record, I never locked my kids out of the house). But if I came home to find my 13-year-old son gone from the house, I certainly would not immediately think he was missing. And while it was a rule in our house to always leave a note, if you think that the rule is always followed, I have some prime beachfront property in Wyoming I'll sell ya.

Hadn't Dylan lived in the house that is now MR's? He may not have had friends really close by, but Dylan was not in an unfamiliar place, he knew his way around that area.

Of course, any conjecture about what happened Monday is moot if it isn't proven Dylan arrived at MR's Sunday night.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

But not spending time with the parent may traumatise and leave issues as well.

I would not advise any non-custodial parent in a bitter divorce situation to give up their rights to visitation easily because even if it is the teen's own choice initially, or the other parent's preference, it gets very easily turned into, "well, you know, their dad never cared anything about them anyway, he hasn't seen them in X months/years..." and that can be harmful for the child as well.

I have seen children very conflicted over one parent when they are children but when they grow up the relationship with the estranged parent can become close and I think its because the child grows up and now has a mind of their own to think for themselves and all was not what they had been lead to believe sometimes.

IMO