CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #23

[Monroe12]

Still catching up but had to address this. My kids are 9 and 12. They don't wear jammies to bed. They typically wear shorts/tshirt or underwear depending on the season. My boys don't wear jeans. They wear athletic shorts and tshirts to school, no matter the temperature outside. Athletic shorts and tshirts are comfortable. I run the show and I know how to pick my battles. Clothes is not a battle I'm going to pick.

Ok well being that Dylan lives in Colorado I am gonna guess he doesn't wear summer athletic shorts n tees year round. Why should it be a battle what you go to bed in? Boys can and do sleep in their tighty whities or boxers... I know all my brothers did. And my son. It simply is a non -issue.....no battles necessary.

 

[PaulR]

It didn't to me either. All the arrangements were made for the morning. I think Dylan just fell asleep like his Dad said, was tired and didn't bother texting back "OK".

and are you of the opinion that Dylan just didn't bother calling or texting anyone at all the next morning either?

I fail to see the link between these two. Can you explain, MrsPC?

 

[MrsPC]

my teenaged granddaughters literally sleep with their phones. they text all during the night even though they aren't supposed to. and the first thing when they wake up...they're checking those phones...looking at texts, playing games, whatever.

I imagine Dylan was a typical teenager too and did the same.

 

[PaulR]

Please allow me to say I don't believe a person is a bad parent to allow it.

Has anyone here made any judgment on a parent who allows their kids to sleep in street clothes?

Because I sure as :furious: haven't seen any.

 

[dlc]

It wasn't meant to be disrespectful AT ALL. Please feel free to mince and dice my words all you want and come to your own conclusion. That's what I get for trying to be helpful to WS with providing documents. I think it's someone else's turn.

Hope you all find Dylan.

TxJan1971 - You've done a _ton_ of work, and, as I said the other night, been unfailingly gracious. Thank you.

 

[PaulR]

my teenaged granddaughters literally sleep with their phones. they text all during the night even though they aren't supposed to. and the first thing when they wake up...they're checking those phones...looking at texts, playing games, whatever.

I imagine Dylan was a typical teenager too and did the same.

Wait, if they are texting the whole night, then they never went to sleep, how could they be texting when they wake up if they never went to sleep? :waitasec:

On a more serious note: I've mentioned before, I have a 13 year old niece who is tech saavy enough to have installed a dozen apps on the Kindle she got for Christmas by next morning, and I never saw her text once over the holidays. I also saw my very tech saavy 18 year old nephew on Christmas Eve and he didn't text at all, too busy playing with his iPad. All kids are different.

 

[cluciano63]

So your saying that Dylan stopped texting in the middle of a conversation and he would have plugged his phone in a charger immediately to finish his talk?

I think I need to find a good timeline to study.

No, what i was saying is that IF his phone had died, when he was able to get to his charger and plug it in, he would have wanted to see the texts he would have missed right away. So he would have known if the outlet did not work, as the poster suggested.

 

[The Cheese]

yep, "no activity whatsoever since Sunday"

I really don't understand all the nit-picking about Dylan's phone being turned off Sunday evening. The family facebook says it. Law enforcement says no activity whatsoever since Sunday night. Other news outlets say it was turned off.

I'm thinking....it was turned off.

I'm sorry you feel it's nitpicking. It's important to me, because the point when a missing person's phone is turned off can indicate they were alive at that point, or that something happened at that point. If his phone wasn't shut off until the end of the week (several days before November 26th), it might indicate something about what was going on with Dylan.

 

[MrsPC]

"Can I come over at 6:30am?"
"Sure, I will let you in."

What more is there to say? One doesn't need to perform the twenty minute farewell ritual that my parents seem to employ whenever I am leaving to communicate that there's nothing more to say.

except that Ryan texted more after that which Dylan did not respond to...

Ryan: Just come around to were the sliding door is were that room is and knock on it and i will wake up

Ryan: (Time 9:27 p.m. Nov. 18) Call me when you get here too

 

[Darcyline]

I still say no activity does not mean turned off. My phone has no activity for the last two hours, but it is still turned on. I know that does seem picky, but to me a phone that is on, but he isn't using it is very different from one that is off, dead, or broken. Very small details can matter.

 

[Confusion]

except that Ryan texted more after that which Dylan did not respond to...

Ryan: Just come around to were the sliding door is were that room is and knock on it and i will wake up

Ryan: (Time 9:27 p.m. Nov. 18) Call me when you get here too

Neither of those was a question, why would he be obligated to respond?

 

[The Cheese]

and are you of the opinion that Dylan just didn't bother calling or texting anyone at all the next morning either?

I don't see how that relates to what I posted, but that's one of several things I think may have happened in the morning. Dylan didn't bother calling or texting his mom to let her know he had gotten in safely and his dad had picked him up. Dylan didn't call or text his mom to ask her permission to go places during the day, or to tell her where he was or what he was doing. He just texted her in the evening to tell her where he would be sleeping that night. Dylan's friends said he would show up randomly. So yes, I think it's a possibility that Dylan just didn't bother calling or texting anyone in the morning.

 

[mijamawi]

Not for me, because even if the battery was dead, once he plugged it in, he would have wanted to see R's response, IMO, and so he would have noticed it was not charging if he could not. And on my part, this is assuming his phone happened to go dead in the middle of his talk with R., something I find bordering on too coincidental for my comfort, JMO.

There was enough gap in the texts that would make me believe he wasn't waiting on bated breath for R's response. JMO

One of my heavy sleepers is a 6'3" 225 llb. Freshman tackle. Believe me I know about picking battles, 10 years of therapy taught me to pick my battles well indeed. I stand by my comment....never knew any child that was put to bed in tomorrows clothing. Whatever.

I don't "put my children to bed." I give them a hug and kiss, and they brush and get in bed. There's no tucking in at this age.

I'm going to post my thoughts on why the phone wasn't used after the last text to R. If you like the idea, that's great; if you hate the idea, that's great too. I'm not going to defend it or argue about how feasible it is.

Looking at the record of DR's texts to R, there seems to be quite a gap in the times. That tells me that both boys were probably somewhat distracted, and just sending a message when they saw fit. If DR and MR were discussing what was supposed to happen the next morning, what they'd do for Thanksgiving, etc., he may not have gotten around to responding to the last message in the 8:00 group. If he got home sometime between 8:00 and 9:00, after being up most of the night, having a rather busy day, and spending an hour or more listening to dad talk, he could have easily been sleeping by 9:27 or whatever the time was of the next text.

I didn't think it was so strange that he didn't respond, and R must not have either if he didn't send another one until the next morning. I know a lot of people have told me that one of the best things about using texts rather than voice is that you can just ignore it until you feel like responding. One of the worst things is that you sometimes forget to respond to something you maybe should have. If he was tired enough to fall asleep very quickly, he probably didn't take the time to dig out the charger, plug it in and start charging the phone. In an area with such lousy coverage there, I have no doubt that the phone would be totally dead by morning.

I like this idea. Too much gap in the other texts.

It didn't seem to me at all like Dylan stopped talking in the middle of a conversation.

Yep, I agree.

Please allow me to say I don't believe a person is a bad parent to allow it. It makes my skin crawl too. I just am having difficulty with changing a lifelong habit to that. It simply wouldn't have occurred to them. How in gods name can you sleep in binding street clothes? Even my huge son sleeps in his boxers. As PaulR said it takes no more than a minit or two to shinny into your daywear.

It doesn't make my skin crawl at all. My kids shower the night before. They slip on their clothes before school. My 12 year old has athletics in the morning and HAS to shower before going to his next class. Plus, "street clothes" can mean so many different things. My street clothes are yoga pants and a t-shirt. My sleep clothes are yoga pants and t-shirt.

 

[MrsPC]

what's most troubling to me is that Dylan did not respond to Ryan's first two texts Monday morning...

Ryan: (Tme: 6:46 a.m. Nov. 19) Where are you

Ryan: (Time: 10 a.m. Nov. 19) Come to nandos.

(I know...it's a rehash of stuff that's been posted over & over again...)

that's all we've got.

 

[PaulR]

except that Ryan texted more after that which Dylan did not respond to...

Ryan: Just come around to were the sliding door is were that room is and knock on it and i will wake up

Ryan: (Time 9:27 p.m. Nov. 18) Call me when you get here too

Right. OK, I'm Dylan. I now know:
* when to come around (~6:30am, from the earlier text)
* where to go (I think his friend's grandmother's house? again from earlier text)
* where *at* the house to show up (sliding door that Dylan knows about, R seems to think that Dylan would know exactly which door he'd be referring to), and
* to call when I get there.

Nothing more to say. R doesn't seem worried at the time that Dylan didn't respond with an acknowledgement which makes me think that this is the normal "protocol" so to speak.

 

[The Cheese]

"Can I come over at 6:30am?"
"Sure, I will let you in."

What more is there to say? One doesn't need to perform the twenty minute farewell ritual that my parents seem to employ whenever I am leaving to communicate that there's nothing more to say.

Agreed. Somebody has to be last one to send a text in a conversation, otherwise the conversation would never end. All arrangements were made. There was nothing else to say. And kids who were up to 4am then traveled for hours fall asleep because they're tired.

 

[dlc]

I'm sorry you feel it's nitpicking. It's important to me, because the point when a missing person's phone is turned off can indicate they were alive at that point, or that something happened at that point. If his phone wasn't shut off until the end of the week (several days before November 26th), it might indicate something about what was going on with Dylan.

To me, when they said _no activity_ on the phone after approximately 8 p.m. that Sunday, that was worrisome. The phone being turned off or on could have been done by anyone, so it really doesn't provide any definitive evidence that I can see.

Whether his phone was turned off, powered down, smashed against the road, or left on but unused by Dylan, can be debated forever. The problem is, as far as we know, after that key time point, no one has heard from Dylan: not by that cell phone, his father's cell phone, landline, computer, iPod, note, letter....

IMO

 

[Darcyline]

MrsPC-I agree the morning texts are more concerning to me. There are multiple conclusions to draw from that. One is a scenario that I am sure we all have on our minds. If we go in another direction...phone dead and he didn't know it? Sleeping hard and didn't hear it? Not sure.

 

[dlc]

I don't see how that relates to what I posted, but that's one of several things I think may have happened in the morning. Dylan didn't bother calling or texting his mom to let her know he had gotten in safely and his dad had picked him up. Dylan didn't call or text his mom to ask her permission to go places during the day, or to tell her where he was or what he was doing. He just texted her in the evening to tell her where he would be sleeping that night. Dylan's friends said he would show up randomly. So yes, I think it's a possibility that Dylan just didn't bother calling or texting anyone in the morning.

Actually, the two did communicate (I believe ER texted DR, and DR responded) that he had landed and been picked up by his dad.

 

[Confusion]

MrsPC-I agree the morning texts are more concerning to me. There are multiple conclusions to draw from that. One is a scenario that I am sure we all have on our minds. If we go in another direction...phone dead and he didn't know it? Sleeping hard and didn't hear it? Not sure.

I tend to think the phone was already dead or MR would have heard the first one that morning. MOO