CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #37

[katydid23]

I can get away with it because I work from home, so every now and then the sweats or pj's stay on all day. :what:

Now, when I worked in the office, I don't think sleeping in a suit would have been a possibility.

True. But ER was saying D used to do that BRIEFLY when he was in 5th or 6th grade. Most 11 or 12 yr old boys wear clothes that don't wrinkle. They are wearing sweats or basketball shorts and tshirts and jerseys or hoodies.

I think it is unfair of some that have made a bigger thing of it than it is. Calling it 'way off' or indicative of something 'wrong.'

 

[asyousay]

:cow:

There are alarms bells ringing for me when I hear Dylan slept in , he then never contacted his friends to let them know . He supposedly decideds to hike miles upon miles to get to his friends when he has no idea where they are at that stage as he has not arrived on time and has not contacted them . Elaine his mum has also said he was simply not that energetic to go off hiking when he had a ride there when his dad got home .

Until proven otherwise the buck stops at Mark for me !
:moo:

 

[YidArmyRach]

I'm in no way trying to get anyone to think the way that I am thinking and I absolutely appreciate all the different possibilities that are put out there. What I can't take any longer is the blame on Dylan. Dylan is a little boy that wanted to go visit his father and visit his friends. He had no agenda, like any little boy. He wasn't reckless, wasn't a dare devil and would most certainly contacted his mom if he was able to.

I know that everyone is trying to figure it out, I get it. I appreciate it. I have learned so many different angles from being here. I just can't tolerate blaming the victim. I can't. I won't.

I'm a big girl, I have my big girl panties pulled all the way up to my heart. I can take it. Trust me when I say that anything anyone says about me is nothing I wasn't either expecting or hadn't said to myself. I am my own worse enemy and toughest critic.

I'm also a mother and I see what this is doing to my children. I see what this is doing to everyone. I personally would much rather opinions be given without the personal attacks. It's one thing to say Dylan may have runaway. It's another to day that Dylan's life at home because his mom was doing xyz and all the termoil in the family is why he ran away. Can you imagine being mom and reading that?!

As I said, it's been a rough day, my patience is worn and old memories have been brought to the surface.

BIB: That's interesting.

I'd read a lot of opinions that Dylan didn't want to go see his dad, and people had assumed the scowly face on the text to his mum was meant to suggest he was unhappy about being with his dad. A lot of people have suggested that maybe him and his dad argued as soon as Dylan landed, because Dylan didn't want to be there, and that may have led to his disappearance.

I haven't come to those conclusions myself. I'm still rather open-minded, due to lack of hard fact, lack of LE information and lack of proof as to what did happen.

But, reading what you put there does put a whole new perspective on things, seeing as you are family. It does kind of rule out some of the scenarios being put forward, based on the opinion that Dylan traveled to visit MR against his will.

Thank you for your input and for always answering our questions. Please know I'm thinking of you all, and hoping for a miracle.

 

[BeginnersLuck]

True. But ER was saying D used to do that BRIEFLY when he was in 5th or 6th grade. Most 11 or 12 yr old boys wear clothes that don't wrinkle. They are wearing sweats or basketball shorts and tshirts and jerseys or hoodies.

I think it is unfair of some that have made a bigger thing of it than it is. Calling it 'way off' or indicative of something 'wrong.'

I was quoting NIKB post about them sleeping in their close to save time and stating how I did it also. I didn't even get into the whole conversation that was going on before on that subject as it was related to Dylan. I could care less whether he slept in his clothing. Apparently it's more common than most people realize and what some may find ok, others may gasp at.

I think there are to many more important issues to worry about with our kids these days.

 

[katydid23]

I was quoting NIKB post about them sleeping in their close to save time and stating how I did it also. I didn't even get into the whole conversation that was going on before on that subject as it was related to Dylan. I could care less whether he slept in his clothing. Apparently it's more common than most people realize and what some may find ok, others may gasp at.

I think there are to many more important issues to worry about with our kids these days.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was disagreeing with anything you said. I was just jumping off your post, and pretty much agreeing with you, and going off from there. :wave:

eta: And I agree there are more important things to worry about with our kids.

 

[Confusion]

Originally Posted by katydid23
True. But ER was saying D used to do that BRIEFLY when he was in 5th or 6th grade. Most 11 or 12 yr old boys wear clothes that don't wrinkle. They are wearing sweats or basketball shorts and tshirts and jerseys or hoodies.

I think it is unfair of some that have made a bigger thing of it than it is. Calling it 'way off' or indicative of something 'wrong.'

I'm not going to get into the right or wrong of sleeping in your clothes, but you missed an important point. Most 11-12 year old boys haven't gone through puberty yet, and their sweat glands (too tired to think of the official name) haven't developed yet to where they cause BO. MOO

 

[asyousay]

I'm not going to get into the right or wrong of sleeping in your clothes, but you missed an important point. Most 11-12 year old boys haven't gone through puberty yet, and their sweat glands (too tired to think of the official name) haven't developed yet to where they cause BO. MOO

But he was 13 and going on 14 , so one would think he had entered puberty when he vanished . Now a lot of boys at that age have poor hygiene so I don't think it's strange he slept in the clothes he traveled in and then wore them the next day .. I shudder as it sounds vile (personally speaking) but boys are boys and a lot would do the same . Cory has said he was just starting to teach Dylan about deodorant and that stuff .

 

[Confusion]

But he was 13 and going on 14 , so one would think he had entered puberty when he vanished . Now a lot of boys at that age have poor hygiene so I don't think it's strange he slept in the clothes he traveled in and then wore them the next day .. I shudder as it sounds vile (personally speaking) but boys are boys and a lot would do the same . Cory has said he was just starting to teach Dylan about deodorant and that stuff .

So, are you saying that katydid23 was wrong when she said that ER said he'd done it during 5th and 6th grade (11-12 years old)?
BBM - I hadn't heard that Cory said that, but I know their mother did. MOO

 

[katydid23]

So, are you saying that katydid23 was wrong when she said that ER said he'd done it during 5th and 6th grade (11-12 years old)?
BBM - I hadn't heard that Cory said that, but I know their mother did. MOO

IIRC, she said he USED TO do that, for a brief time. So since he was 13 when she said that, I assumed she meant he 'used to' do that at 12 or so.

 

[Confusion]

IIRC, she said he USED TO do that, for a brief time. So since he was 13 when she said that, I assumed she meant he 'used to' do that at 12 or so.

That's what I thought. I just wasn't sure why she quoted my post and then said that.

 

[asyousay]

So, are you saying that katydid23 was wrong when she said that ER said he'd done it during 5th and 6th grade (11-12 years old)?
BBM - I hadn't heard that Cory said that, but I know their mother did. MOO

Well he did it the day he vanished if the story is to believed . I had never read that it was a thing of the past . All I have read is that Elaine used to say he would shower the night before and get dressed and role out of bed the following morning for school .

I could be wrong but I thought Dylan was in the exact same outfit he vanished in as the night he arrived in Durango ? - so it was not a thing of the past :cow:

 

[YidArmyRach]

But he was 13 and going on 14 , so one would think he had entered puberty when he vanished . Now a lot of boys at that age have poor hygiene so I don't think it's strange he slept in the clothes he traveled in and then wore them the next day .. I shudder as it sounds vile (personally speaking) but boys are boys and a lot would do the same . Cory has said he was just starting to teach Dylan about deodorant and that stuff .

I work at a large secondary school and I can tell you that plenty of 13 year old boys will sleep in their clothes, don't always change their underwear on a dialy basis, and I've even known kids keep their pyjamas on under their school uniform to save time later!!

Right up to the age of 16, a lot of them are happy to do sports in their school shirt (to lazy to bring a change of kit), and then keep it on for the rest of the school day .... the girls, however, are not so keen on this!

 

[Confusion]

I work at a large secondary school and I can tell you that plenty of 13 year old boys will sleep in their clothes, don't always change their underwear on a dialy basis, and I've even known kids keep their pyjamas on under their school uniform to save time later!!

Right up to the age of 16, a lot of them are happy to do sports in their school shirt (to lazy to bring a change of kit), and then keep it on for the rest of the school day .... the girls, however, are not so keen on this!

Here girls only seem to put on their pajama pants when they're going to Walmart. MOO

 

[MissJ]

:moo:<modsnip> There is no evidence that he planned to hitch hike or that he was anything but a normal young boy who liked to spend time with his friends when he could. DR had moved and had not seen his friends in Bayfield for awhile. JMO but he seemed pretty excited about seeing his friends the next morning at 6:30. The time was set and I can't see him backing out or being unable to get up during 45 mins. of MR trying to wake him. Nor can I see him not knowing how to use a landline or being unable to remember his friends phone numbers. He had lived in the area before and had not always had a cell phone. If not for the fact of no communication after sunday evening I might not be suspicious of MR. If not for MR's inconsistent stories about sunday night and monday morning, I might not be suspicious of him. If not for all the bs theories he has thrown out there regarding what "might" have happened, I might not be suspicious of MR. Fathers do disappear their children all the time. Read about the Skelton boys who disappeared after a court ordered Thanksgiving visit with their non custodial father. Sadly fathers do hurt their children.:moo:

 

[asyousay]

For me its not just the lack of sleeping in as yes that could of happened but its then the lack of contacting R to let him know what was going on . Dylan is not a moron or a alien from outta space and logic would suggest that when he woke up the first thing he would of done was contact R!!

The story we have been fed does not add up IMO

:cow:

 

[marlywings]

Folks just a reminder to please use the alert button if you have a problem with a post

 

[SCHMAE]

My experience is that teenage boys, at about the age of 12 or 13, need a big extra reminder every day about hygiene ... and eventually it sinks in.

I'm just listening to the dad's interview and he says that Dylan was known to be a hitch hiker - but that dad didn't know this before the visit.

Truer words were never spoken. 13 is on the fence between boy and adult and it's also when hormones make them the smelliest creatures on earth and it seems to take a while for them to realize ' hey i dont smell too good' and also ' hey i'd like to smell good before i talk to suzy q at school today' . There is a definite grey area where their olfactory senses do not seem to recognize their own stench ! Love this post !
Once they do get the hint, they begin showering twice a day sometimes, but was Dylan ahead or behind the hygiene curve?

 

[nikb]

I can get away with it because I work from home, so every now and then the sweats or pj's stay on all day. :what:

Now, when I worked in the office, I don't think sleeping in a suit would have been a possibility.

haha true, the suit probably wouldn't have worked so well. I was thinking more weekends or work from home days. Or in the case of Dylan... probably the things he wears most of the time would be just fine to sleep in.

 

[nikb]

For me its not just the lack of sleeping in as yes that could of happened but its then the lack of contacting R to let him know what was going on . Dylan is not a moron or a alien from outta space and logic would suggest that when he woke up the first thing he would of done was contact R!!

The story we have been fed does not add up IMO

:cow:

Totally agree wth you here. The lack of contact troubles me a lot especially since it seems he had multiple options on how to do so.

 

[SCHMAE]

It's in NG 12/3 -

GRACE: So Elaine, let me get this straight. You`re telling me that it would be unusual for him to go to sleep at the end of the day, if he were spending the night somewhere else, and not say, Good night, I`m going to sleep?

REDWINE: Well, not necessarily going to sleep, but he would let me know where he landed for the night. So like, if he was hanging around with his friends in Bayfield, you know, he would let me know what friend he was sleeping with that night or whatever the case may be.

You know, he often did stay up later, so he didn`t always text me, but he would always generally text me in the morning when he woke up.

You know this comment by ER has always made me think DR just was given LOTS of slack about his comings and goings. " where he landed for the night' sounds like a kid who may have been gone days at a time with various friends and tonight was at john does', tomorrow at bob doe's and it was probably ok because he'd known all these kids for so long from living there. It just seems like a really 'loosely' governed situation as far as him off running with his friends. It actually sounds pretty nice for a boy !