CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #45

[mijamawi]

Why would she pointedly say this to a mother who suspects her ex harmed her son? She knows (as we all know) that mr has supporters; people who are on the fence until it has been absolutely proven that he did something. (and there's nothing wrong with that)

I do fail to see the point of throwing that in the face of Dylan's mom, who cannot help to be very well aware of that.

The only thing I can say to this is those that refuse to point the finger at Mark do still love Dylan, and we do want him home more than anything.

I don't see it as throwing it in the face of Elaine. I would hope she's blissfully unaware of the hatred going on around her, although I doubt it. Regardless, while I personally am not to the point I'm ready to blame Mark Redwine, my hope is that Dylan is safe and that he comes home where he belongs.

It's not a one way street. If someone isn't willing to point the finger at Mark, it doesn't mean we don't care about Dylan and it sure as hell doesn't mean we are against Elaine. Good grief already.

 

[rosesfromangels]

The son who is supposed to be an adult, is still very young. He has had to grow up quickly. I think he shows more maturity than his father.

I just feel badly for these boys period. In my opinion and just as a casual t.v. observer, it appeared that the family was highly dysfunctional and that this tragedy just pushed them over the edge. While it certainly seems as if the dad won't get nominated for father of the year, it didn't appear the mother had done much to encourage any kind of relationship between the boys and the dad. It appears she has very much involved the boys in the fracas between her and her ex, or certainly not helped it. It was apparent the one boy sitting in the audience was attempting to be diplomatic, but the poor kid on stage had obviously taken over the "man of the household" role protecting his mother. This is just so unhealthy at so many levels, and so unfair to the boy. Not an expert, just an opinion. So while I agree this dad seems like a real horse's rump, I think the mom has played her part in this too. As I said in an early post, I'm sure they have both had time to think about their actions, and would most likely want to retract many of them.
God Bless Dylan - let's find him!

 

[KateNY]

That sounds like my house! I know where I put it!!! Question is which one of you kids put your grubby paws on it!!!

It was just the insistence in the knowing part that really got me. Mark seems to be a good ol' country boy and it wouldn't surprise me if he fished during down time. It's not something I know for fact, but being the country gal I am, if I lived on the river I would be fishing every spare moment the weather was nice. I must also note that in MO Vallecito is absolutely beautiful, a total sportsman's(or woman) dream!

BBM

welcome!

Don't mean to pry...are you local? Know the family?

If you prefer not to answer, certainly understood..:seeya:

 

[Emma Ems]

I can't find the post now for some reason, maybe it was further back than I thought, but someone said Elaine has every right to be mad at Mark. I do agree that it's only natural to be angry, but anger is an emotion that should be pushed aside at some point, especially when you need to have a clear head in your decision making processes. At this time Dylan needs all members of his family to be clear headed. People often do or say stupid things in anger, it really prevents them from thinking things through. I personally find it disturbing that after all these months that she hasn't put that anger on the back burner where Mark is concerned. If he is responsible, the anger and lashing out is just dragging it out longer, IMO. If he didn't do anything, again her anger is on the level of him harming Dylan. You know, if Mark didn't do this, that this could have happened on her watch too. It could happen to anyone if the circumstances were right. You don't want it to happen, and a lot of times people don't think things like this will ever happen to them, then you see them on the TV saying, you know this stuff happens but you don't think it could ever happen to you.

In case it wasn't clear, this is MOO.

 

[Emma Ems]

I just feel badly for these boys period. In my opinion and just as a casual t.v. observer, it appeared that the family was highly dysfunctional and that this tragedy just pushed them over the edge. While it certainly seems as if the dad won't get nominated for father of the year, it didn't appear the mother had done much to encourage any kind of relationship between the boys and the dad. It appears she has very much involved the boys in the fracas between her and her ex, or certainly not helped it. It was apparent the one boy sitting in the audience was attempting to be diplomatic, but the poor kid on stage had obviously taken over the "man of the household" role protecting his mother. This is just so unhealthy at so many levels, and so unfair to the boy. Not an expert, just an opinion. So while I agree this dad seems like a real horse's rump, I think the mom has played her part in this too. As I said in an early post, I'm sure they have both had time to think about their actions, and would most likely want to retract many of them.
God Bless Dylan - let's find him!

....but share this sentiment with you.

 

[Emma Ems]

BBM

welcome!

Don't mean to pry...are you local? Know the family?

If you prefer not to answer, certainly understood..:seeya:

...Not local, nor do I know the family.

 

[mmmagique]

The only thing I can say to this is those that refuse to point the finger at Mark do still love Dylan, and we do want him home more than anything.

I don't see it as throwing it in the face of Elaine. I would hope she's blissfully unaware of the hatred going on around her, although I doubt it. Regardless, while I personally am not to the point I'm ready to blame Mark Redwine, my hope is that Dylan is safe and that he comes home where he belongs.

It's not a one way street. If someone isn't willing to point the finger at Mark, it doesn't mean we don't care about Dylan and it sure as hell doesn't mean we are against Elaine. Good grief already.

of course not! I didn't mean to (nor did I, I don't think) imply that at all.

I was answering someone who wanted Tricia to make it clear that there are those who support ALL of Dylan's family unless it's proven that someone did something to him. I'm quite sure she knows that, and it's a rather antagonistic way of speaking to a mother who's child has been missing for 3 months.

 

[Tennlyn]

of course not! I didn't mean to (or did I, I don't think) imply that at all.

I was answering someone who wanted Tricia to make it clear that there are those who support ALL of Dylan's family unless it's proven that someone did something to him. I'm quite sure she knows that, and it's a rather antagonistic way of speaking to a mother who's child has been missing for 3 months.

I wouldn't support an abusive man any day. Period. :moo:

 

[Emma Ems]

BBM

welcome!

Don't mean to pry...are you local? Know the family?

If you prefer not to answer, certainly understood..:seeya:

I just realized that maybe my comment about Vallecito made you think I lived near there. When I was in my thinking process I wanted to look into the area a bit more because of that story about the renter. I wanted to see if it was a popular camping spot and also I looked at a cabin rental place online to see how busy they were during holidays, to try to get a feel of how many strangers may have been in the area at the time. Where I live a lot of times during the winter holidays like TG(I know not technically winter) and Christmas people like to go up to Gatlinburg, TN to rent cabins, in fact I see more people doing that in the winter than the summer. During the summer most people I know prefer to hit the Gulf. During my search I couldn't help but admire the beauty of Vallecito in all the pictures that were posted. While I was looking I couldn't help but think, how come I have never heard of this place before, this looks like a place I would love.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

of course not! I didn't mean to (nor did I, I don't think) imply that at all.

I was answering someone who wanted Tricia to make it clear that there are those who support ALL of Dylan's family unless it's proven that someone did something to him. I'm quite sure she knows that, and it's a rather antagonistic way of speaking to a mother who's child has been missing for 3 months.

Actually, I wasn't speaking to the mother of a missing child. I was making a statement here. Mark Redwine is the father of a missing child and we all say things here that (hopefully) wouldn't be said where one believed they would see it. Perhaps though I could have been clearer. I have only listened to the radio show once, and so I have little to compare this to. Rather than being antagonistic to a mother, I should have expressed my concern that Elaine not be given yet another platform to participate in blaming that really doesn't further efforts to find her son. I'm full up of the blame speech that has few specifics.

 

[raine1212]

JMO, I have read the bashing between the families just like everyone here.it's sad.
I have watched this case from the beginning and it is full of twist and turns. I have also watched the bickering between us has a family. We all want Dylan back and we all love Dylan. We must not let our frustrations get to us. I know we all have hashed out everything LE has given us. But I feel if we become a family for Dylan and put our great minds together we might figure out where Dylan is or who may be responsible. My greatest hope is we can bring Dylan home his family needs him.

 

[mijamawi]

I wouldn't support an abusive man any day. Period. :moo:

Kudos.

Since it obviously hasn't been made clear over the last 45 threads....

I, as in me personally, do not support Mark. I, as in me personally support Dylan and bringing Dylan home. There doesn't have to be sides. In fact, that's the most ridiculous thing ever. If everyone was truly focused on Dylan, there wouldn't be sides. The main thing here is getting this boy home to his family.

Just because someone doesn't want to accuse Mark of killing his son doesn't mean they support abusive men. Good gravy. I don't know how to make it any more clear. It's not about supporting Mark. It's not about backing Elaine. It's about finding a 14 year old boy who is missing.

This whole thing has gotten so out of hand, I'm embarrassed to be a part of it. Family members and friends who I've gotten on board to spread the word are telling me how they are over the drama and think it's a family issue, and they're wondering why I'm so obsessed. I try to explain and then realize how incredibly ridiculous it all sounds. Find Dylan. Focus on Dylan. Bring this kid home. Quit spending so much damn time trying to find a "legit" facebook page to bash MR. Cheese and ricecakes, just stop. Find Dylan.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

Kudos.

Since it obviously hasn't been made clear over the last 45 threads....

I, as in me personally, do not support Mark. I, as in me personally support Dylan and bringing Dylan home. There doesn't have to be sides. In fact, that's the most ridiculous thing ever. If everyone was truly focused on Dylan, there wouldn't be sides. The main thing here is getting this boy home to his family.

Just because someone doesn't want to accuse Mark of killing his son doesn't mean they support abusive men. Good gravy. I don't know how to make it any more clear. It's not about supporting Mark. It's not about backing Elaine. It's about finding a 14 year old boy who is missing.

This whole thing has gotten so out of hand, I'm embarrassed to be a part of it. Family members and friends who I've gotten on board to spread the word are telling me how they are over the drama and think it's a family issue, and they're wondering why I'm so obsessed. I try to explain and then realize how incredibly ridiculous it all sounds. Find Dylan. Focus on Dylan. Bring this kid home. Quit spending so much damn time trying to find a "legit" facebook page to bash MR. Cheese and ricecakes, just stop. Find Dylan.

:yourock:

 

[Emma Ems]

Kudos.



This whole thing has gotten so out of hand, I'm embarrassed to be a part of it. Family members and friends who I've gotten on board to spread the word are telling me how they are over the drama and think it's a family issue, and they're wondering why I'm so obsessed. I try to explain and then realize how incredibly ridiculous it all sounds. Find Dylan. Focus on Dylan. Bring this kid home. Quit spending so much damn time trying to find a "legit" facebook page to bash MR. Cheese and ricecakes, just stop. Find Dylan.

Absolutely. The drama does discourage people from any action, especially on, am I allowed to say it, Facebook-which should be a tool that could be used very productively to spread awareness for Dylan if used properly.

Find Dylan! Find him! Sometimes I read in other places and think, it's the Mark bashing show and I see them saying that Mark thinks it's all about him. A part of me wants to scream from the roof tops, "Don't you see, you all are the ones making it about Mark, or at least more about Mark and less about Dylan." More time is spent talking about other posters than is actually spent talking about Dylan. Who cares who is who? Does it really matter, especially if they are concerned about finding Dylan and are discussing it in a way that is productive to at least helping bring Dylan home.

I am sorry for that rant and I understand if it may be deleted, as I am not intentionally trying to veer off track here but I can't help but echo these sentiments. I do feel that the just out and out blaming often causes this. This is one of the reasons I am glad I did join WS because there is some moderation here that does allow discussion to happen and the topics do stay on track here. I completely understand discussing the possibility that Mark did something, but it would also be very nice to discuss other possibilities as it doesn't seem the Mark did it scenario has gotten anyone any closer as of yet and that it's very prudent not to get stuck just on one scenario. I personally think that it's ok if you think Mark did something, but I also ask that you at least be open to stepping outside that box and discussing other scenarios so that we won't just be limited to the one.

Just my :twocents:

 

[Tennlyn]

My #1 priority is finding Dylan. And right after that I want justice. Whoever has hurt him needs to rot in :jail:.

:cow:

 

[Emma Ems]

For the record, I too am not a Mark supporter, so to speak. I just think it the terms of that if I were in his shoes and I wasn't guilty of harming my child, how much it would hurt me for people to be not only accusing me, but outright hating on me. At the very moment I may not really care that much, except for the interference it caused in the search efforts for my child. Later, after, and if, my child was found I may really be bothered by it, just simply as how I felt my rights as an American were violated. One such right is that everyone in innocent until proven guilty. The most basic human rights of all are the rights of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. I feel that the outright accusations have led to downright hatred to extreme points at times where it's very possible that Mark can't do as much for Dylan as he would like for fear of leaving his home and what might happen to him if he does.

I ask this, if some person takes this matter into their own hands feeling that justice isn't coming swiftly enough, where would that leave the search for Dylan? Would everyone just give up because they were so convinced Mark was the only one who knew where he might be and how would that cause further harm to Dylan, especially if he was taken by a stranger?

 

[Emma Ems]

My #1 priority is finding Dylan. And right after that I want justice. Whoever has hurt him needs to rot in :jail:.

:cow:

If he has been harmed in anyway!!! I completely agree. Though I really hope no one has harmed him.

 

[cluciano63]

I do not think ER chose to believe that MR was responsible. I think she has reasons to feel that way. I believe 100% that her greatest desire is to find Dylan and that she is not some pig-headed woman who would rather blame MR than find the truth that leads to Dylan.

If any one of you honestly, deep down, felt that your ex hurt your child, would you "set aside" that belief for one second, if nothing he said made sense to you or led in another direction? I think it is easy to say that she should do this or that, but if she truly believes he is responsible, how can she "change" how she feels?

It does not appear, IMO, that LE is saying anything to her to encourage her to remove her focus from MR. She may be getting vibes we don't know about that her gut feelings match theirs.

 

[Tennlyn]

If he has been harmed in anyway!!! I completely agree. Though I really hope no one has harmed him.

He's been gone almost 4 months. Kept from his family and his friends. That's harmed. :moo:

That's the best case scenario. We all know what the stats are.

LPSCO said this is criminal: abduction or foul play. Harm has been done. The question is how much and what type.

Dylan is not frolicking under a rainbow with a blessing of unicorns.

:cow:

 

[Emma Ems]

If any one of you honestly, deep down, felt that your ex hurt your child, would you "set aside" that belief for one second, if nothing he said made sense to you or led in another direction? I think it is easy to say that she should do this or that, but if she truly believes he is responsible, how can she "change" how she feels?

If it would help me find my child, I would have to. My child is more important than how I feel, or even what I believe. I can believe all day long that my ex may have harmed my child, but just because I believe that doesn't mean it's really what happened or it's exactly true. I have believed quite a few times I knew something had happened for fact, based on suspicion alone. Sometimes I was right, and sometimes I was wrong. In this case, being wrong and all the things done and said can't be done over or taken back. If he is innocent then her blaming and anger has set into motion a lot more than just her being mad at him and there are some crazy people out there and well anger and hatred are like infectious diseases, they spread rapidly. Once the outbreak has gotten too out of hand, it's hard to reign back in.