Found Deceased CO - Suzanne Morphew, 49, did not return from bike ride, Chaffee County, 10 May 2020 #21

[Ashildir]

Murder of One's Wife?
@Ashildir No, not boring us at all; and you may be a fence sitter but not pesky. In seeing bbm ^, I thought, yeah, uroxicide, that looks right, then googled to try to reassure myself about my oh-so-flawless sense of spelling.
All the right letters but w two re-arranged. It's uxoricide.* Fwiw, I like OP ^ spelling better.
Glad you're posting on this forum @Ashildir.

...........................................................................................................
* "Uxoricide is the murder of one's wife or girlfriend. It can refer to the act itself or the person who carries it out." Not a new thing. Reaching back to Babylonian times, we can find cases of uxoricide, where a doomed relationship is not a surprise ending from our 21st Century pt of view. For ex, in 500's BC: "Cambyses II of Persia married two of his sisters and installed the younger as queen consort of Egypt. During his insanity, he murdered her for weeping for their brother Smerdis, whom Cambyses had murdered." I'm no marriage counselor, but that couple/trio was not destined to "live happily ever after." my2cts
^ blue text from Uxoricide - Wikipedia

Thanks for the correction, much appreciated. after reading about it I have a leg and butt cheek more on the side of the fence where there is a guilty BM

 

[JnRyan]

But you are the patient. Barry Morphew was not. I would react as you. But, My husband would have been there being strong and supportive and likely a bit funny.

If you disagree with me sit with a loved one in one of those settings. If you still think so, so be it. And if you go back and reread, you'll notice I am NOT a chemo patient in those settings. I am a person trying to get to the remission point in my life. In over dozen times in a room 20-30 chemo patients, there were few there with a loved one. In every single case rarely were there even words exchanged and then only very quietly and very brief. There never was at any time any indication of jokes or humor.
I'm not doubting your husband's demeanor while you were undergoing chemo. But if he did he is different than all of the others I saw. Hang onto him because he is truly a rare one percent of the population.

 

[JnRyan]

Thank you for sharing these intimate details about your experience and I hope you are doing well. I am very moved by the testimonies given by SM’s friends and family members and I think Lauren did an excellent job. But I am not about to judge BM regarding the quote of a fellow cancer survivor that “ he seemed uncomfortable and not friendly “ at the one chemo session she saw him at.

I took my Mom to all her treatments at M.D. Anderson when she had breast cancer and 10 years later I took my big brother there for his many chemotherapy treatments for pancreatic cancer. They were the dearest people in my life. And it was the hardest, most surreal experiences I’ve ever had. One appointment would mean an entire day at the Medical Center, meeting with a team of doctors. Every now and then there would be a wonderful moment of humor, like when my Mom’s giant 6 foot 5 tall teddy bear of a man introduced himself as her pain management doctor, Dr. Payne. It was really his name! It certainly broke the tension. There is just no way you can judge a person by how they appear when they are with a loved one going through cancer treatments. Don’t know if this
makes any sense. Just my own personal experience and thoughts.
I just remember being totally freaked out and trying to appear strong for my Mom and brother while taking in what the white coats were telling us. I was in my 30’s but had never had to grow up so fast and take charge like that before. Just driving in Houston traffic traffic gave me anxiety attacks, so I’m sure I appeared very uncomfortable.

The person quoted also says that SM usually had one or both daughters with her at her treatments makes me think that Suzanne probably felt more comfortable WITHOUT BM there and maybe wanted to “ spare” him from seeing her vulnerable. IMO that’s the kind of woman she was.
He gets a pass from me on “ looking uncomfortable “.

M. D. Anderson is one of the best. I have two friends who have been there and have nothing but good things to say about it. One who is on her third battle with cancer - two different kinds - and she took leave from work here in VA to go down there and live temporarily while receiving treatment for breast cancer. I hope your brother got better as pancreatic cancer is a frightening experience just for the friends and family of the patient, let alone the patient.

It sounds like you made it out the other side and I hope your mother and brother did as well. I've had cancer and yet I still have difficulty fully seeing what the cancer patients go through and how it changes them afterwards. All the best and my prayers.

 

[oviedo]

This is a great post, well said @10ofRods.

If Bethlamb16 is around, she/he needs to know most of us don’t hate BM. We don’t even know him. The trial will determine how much hate, if any, is thrown his way. We don’t like his actions, or his inaction in finding Suzanne. He won’t help. He won’t speak up on her behalf. Nothing after more than two months. It is really quite sad.

I learned in following the many cases how sharp the posters are and the experience many of them have in their own lives. I call it a sixth sense. I believe they have this one pegged one hundred percent.

excellent points - I've often found that when following a case on WS when you have opposing positions (some think X did it, and some think X is innocent - think Frazee, Watts, etc.) it seems "hate" creeps into the conversation as a way to describe the opposing view - in this case - the husband - for me, I don't hate - I just don't like what I think they may have done. It may come across that I "hate" the particular person in a case but I don't. if that makes any sense.
JMO

 

[JnRyan]

Appointments don’t rule anything out. However... Much as no one is safeguarded from depression or suicide, two factors serve as protective here.

One, SM’s strong faith, and two, her love of children. I would not view suicide on Mother’s Day as a valid possibility in SM’s case. MOO.

I agree. I can vision a few scenarios, but suicide to me is very unlikely. On a prioritized list, it is below mountain lion attack and just above abduction by aliens. Just my opinion, though, as I'm not a big believer in aliens visiting our planet.

 

[JnRyan]

IMO

This is an example of using one's own life and deciding that's the way others should be.

Reality is some people are not a bit funny. Some people are very uncomfortable around doctors, hospitals, and medical procedures and freak out somewhat. Some people (even spouses) get scared and close down and don't act in ways someone else would.

Personally I think it's not a valid way to judge someone--i.e. using one's own life as the template for anyone else's. And, as I mentioned a week or 2 before, my friend who recently retired from the Sheriff's Dept after 25 yrs of service, told me about their training and how they are taught to not imprint their own lives, beliefs, religion, customs onto someone they are investigating.

/IMO

Thanks for that. You put it into words better than I could.

 

[Brubon]

Friends Say Missing Colo. Mom Suzanne Morphew and Husband Barry Seemed Like ‘Good, Model Family’

SABBM:

Before Colorado mom Suzanne Morphew disappeared during a bike ride on Mother's Day, everything in her life seemed to be going well.

"That [family structure] where the husband loves being the provider and the wife loves being the homemaker— they fit that to a T," longtime friend Jeff Isles tells PEOPLE in this week's issue.

But now Morphew, a mom-of-two, is missing, having vanished on a bike ride on May 10.
_______________

Quick!
Somebody call H.G. Wells.
Tell him somebody's stolen his Time Machine.

What century is this again?

Because I could swear that the last time I consulted my calendar, it was 2020.
Not 1920.

And why do I get the feeling that by "provider" here, he means, "controller?"

JMO.

ITA.
My former boss was raised in Alexandria, IN.
He is/was the kindest man ever, to children and teachers.
But as time ticked by it became apparent that his wife was under his thumb. When she voiced wanting her own computer, he let her know, "She didn't need a computer."
As a childcare worker she made her own money, but he dictated where she spent it.
Great boss.....nightmare of a controlling husband.
Patriarchal homes/marriages are alive and "well" in 2020 midwest USA.
Not my cup of tea....but then he was my boss, not husband...thank goodness.
MOO

 

[Boxer]

You know what, though? If I thought a human-eating mountain lion lived near my house and was stalking about and had eaten my spouse, I'd be out there tracking it every day until I found its den. I'd be collecting its scat. I'd lead police to its den. Nearby, there should be at least some signs of eating a human (lions cannot eat human skulls nor the big leg bones and they typically only gnaw on the ends of the bones, all of which is diagnostic for being eaten by a lion).

No way a lion completely disappeared Suzanne and while they have fairly large ranges, they typically stick to one territory that they know well.

Evidence of said lion would not be found in the creek (so what the heck was BM doing in the creek in that TD exposé?) Why is BM repeatedly going back to the scene of the bike abandonment? Why does he not organize a lion search?

In fact, if he did come out in public and firmly declare he believes his wife was taken by a lion (he should have done this much sooner), he would get help in finding said lion. He could do this through a friend, if he's that shy about publicity. But he has only put forward two theories (lion and abduction) and one of them requires looking for a lion.

Trail cams, etc. Find the lion. Find proof Lion snags/eats humans. Get someone with a good bloodhound to help. Find all the local lion dens (there can't be many and the geology would dictate where the lairs would be). There are expert trackers to call in, using that donated money of course.

Good post.
He is the hunter that can't find a lion. He is the husband that can't mount a decent flyer campaign or hire a private detective (that we known of) in case of abduction.

 

[GordianKnot]

I agree. I can vision a few scenarios, but suicide to me is very unlikely. On a prioritized list, it is below mountain lion attack and just above abduction by aliens.

Suicide actually falls below alien abduction on my list of possible scenarios.

You think I'm joking.

By my rough calculations, there's zero probability that SM committed suicide.

Spoiler

And our little buddy ET here didn't snatch her, either.

JMO.

 

[MassGuy]

excellent points - I've often found that when following a case on WS when you have opposing positions (some think X did it, and some think X is innocent - think Frazee, Watts, etc.) it seems "hate" creeps into the conversation as a way to describe the opposing view - in this case - the husband - for me, I don't hate - I just don't like what I think they may have done. It may come across that I "hate" the particular person in a case but I don't. if that makes any sense.
JMO

Exactly. Most people don’t think he’s responsible because they hate him, rather, they dislike him because they think he’s responsible.

Personally, I feel nothing. But that doesn’t mean I won’t criticize the fact that he hasn’t done a damn thing that matters in regards to helping find Suzanne.

 

[10ofRods]

Receiving chemo can be a very dangerous time for cancer patients. My own mother died 15 minutes into receiving her very first chemo treatment. I couldn’t imagine not wanting the support of my life partner there by my side. MOO

I just want to say, I'm so sorry - and that I appreciate your kindness and courage in sharing with the rest of us. Truthfully, I would never have even considered that someone could literally die 15 minutes into their first chemo (and yet, it should have occurred to me).

It's a reminder that all kinds of things happen.

What strikes me is that Suzanne had a serious disease, and that she went into remission - but then relapsed and had full on chemo until October 2019 - and was still doing maintenance. So many worries for her (plus CoVid worries after February). She must have had so many thoughts and worries while sitting for chemo. Her daughters provided the support that BM, apparently, could not or did not want to.

It's an unspoken rule of most marriages that when it comes to things like cancer, you stick it out and tough it out and repair what ever needed to be repairing in the relationship to get that done. My dad stood by my mom through 4 different kinds of cancer, starting in 1966 and ending with her death in 2006. He was a bit exceptional, truly, but over the years we naturally watched many other couples and friends deal with cancer. Most people step up to the plate and do their best to be supportive, even if the marriage is otherwise moribund.

 

[JnRyan]

Who is this person TD? I know he’s the one who recorded BM, but there’s very little info about him anywhere. MOO

I haven't been entirely comfortable with TD like I have with Lauren Scharf, but I couldn't quite see what it was I was not comfortable with. Your point makes me realize what it was I was not seeing. TD may have years of experience on YouTube and maybe podcasts, but I haven't bothered to research this guy and his background and experience. Good point.

 

[Error505]

For those in the U.K. here’s Lauren’s video from July 22

 

[Error505]

I just want to say, I'm so sorry - and that I appreciate your kindness and courage in sharing with the rest of us. Truthfully, I would never have even considered that someone could literally die 15 minutes into their first chemo (and yet, it should have occurred to me).

It's a reminder that all kinds of things happen.

What strikes me is that Suzanne had a serious disease, and that she went into remission - but then relapsed and had full on chemo until October 2019 - and was still doing maintenance. So many worries for her (plus CoVid worries after February). She must have had so many thoughts and worries while sitting for chemo. Her daughters provided the support that BM, apparently, could not or did not want to.

It's an unspoken rule of most marriages that when it comes to things like cancer, you stick it out and tough it out and repair what ever needed to be repairing in the relationship to get that done. My dad stood by my mom through 4 different kinds of cancer, starting in 1966 and ending with her death in 2006. He was a bit exceptional, truly, but over the years we naturally watched many other couples and friends deal with cancer. Most people step up to the plate and do their best to be supportive, even if the marriage is otherwise moribund.

Thank you sincerely @10ofRods I don’t share very many personal details in my life, usually they aren’t relative to our discussions. Chemo drugs are made of many toxins, most causing blood pressure to shoot sky high without a second’s notice. My mother suffered a major heart attack and was gone in seconds at the age of 58. I just wanted to emphasize my thoughts on why BM should have been by his wife’s side being supportive (if he wasn’t )
All my opinion.

 

[Error505]

I haven't been entirely comfortable with TD like I have with Lauren Scharf, but I couldn't quite see what it was I was not comfortable with. Your point makes me realize what it was I was not seeing. TD may have years of experience on YouTube and maybe podcasts, but I haven't bothered to research this guy and his background and experience. Good point.

Yep, I’m with you. TD isn’t an investigative journalist like Lauren is. I’m way more comfortable relying on info from her.

 

[Love Never Fails]

If you disagree with me sit with a loved one in one of those settings. If you still think so, so be it. And if you go back and reread, you'll notice I am NOT a chemo patient in those settings. I am a person trying to get to the remission point in my life. In over dozen times in a room 20-30 chemo patients, there were few there with a loved one. In every single case rarely were there even words exchanged and then only very quietly and very brief. There never was at any time any indication of jokes or humor.
I'm not doubting your husband's demeanor while you were undergoing chemo. But if he did he is different than all of the others I saw. Hang onto him because he is truly a rare one percent of the population.

I am so sorry and you misunderstood my post. Only you or Suzanne or someone who has had cancer can speak of what it is like.

I have never had cancer and never said I went through chemo. But I have certainly been with friends who did. It isn’t pleasant at all! And the worst part is the pain after all the treatment, IMO.

What I was referring to was that Suzanne was the patient and Barry should have been with her during her chemo (and maybe he was). We know that one time, per the interview, he was not.

However, I have been through life changing illness and surgeries and my husband was ALWAYS by my side, as I am with him. And yes, he is a rare gem. I love him.

When I said he is there for me and strong and can even be funny, I didn’t mean he jokes or laughs at me. I am a serious person, too serious sometimes. He is sensitive to my feelings but he tries to lift my spirits because I can be quite negative.

I am truly sorry for all you have been through and if we could talk in person, you would understand that I am compassionate. Maybe a lot gets lost in translation through these posts.

 

[TxGidget]

You know what, though? If I thought a human-eating mountain lion lived near my house and was stalking about and had eaten my spouse, I'd be out there tracking it every day until I found its den. I'd be collecting its scat. I'd lead police to its den. Nearby, there should be at least some signs of eating a human (lions cannot eat human skulls nor the big leg bones and they typically only gnaw on the ends of the bones, all of which is diagnostic for being eaten by a lion).

No way a lion completely disappeared Suzanne and while they have fairly large ranges, they typically stick to one territory that they know well.

Evidence of said lion would not be found in the creek (so what the heck was BM doing in the creek in that TD exposé?) Why is BM repeatedly going back to the scene of the bike abandonment? Why does he not organize a lion search?

In fact, if he did come out in public and firmly declare he believes his wife was taken by a lion (he should have done this much sooner), he would get help in finding said lion. He could do this through a friend, if he's that shy about publicity. But he has only put forward two theories (lion and abduction) and one of them requires looking for a lion.

Trail cams, etc. Find the lion. Find proof Lion snags/eats humans. Get someone with a good bloodhound to help. Find all the local lion dens (there can't be many and the geology would dictate where the lairs would be). There are expert trackers to call in, using that donated money of course.

Respectfully, in the TD video, BM said that searches were conducted up the hill, in the event a lion had taken her. He seemed pretty comfortable that, since they found no evidence, SM wasn’t attacked/mauled by a cat. Does anyone have any evidence that BM still believes it’s a cat? If not, we can probably retire the cat as one of his theories. MOO

 

[Charlot123]

Suicide is actually below alien abduction on my list of possible scenarios.

You think I'm joking.

By my rough calculations, there's zero probability that SM committed suicide.

Spoiler

ET here didn't snatch her, either.

JMO.

So that people understand me correctly. Suicide is a serious problem we as the society face, and I don't want to compare it with lions or aliens.

I assume that anyone can get depressed and suicidal. The point prevalence of depression is about 13%, meaning, as I am typing it, about 13% people in the world are depressed. (In some countries, it is clearly underreported). So I don't discount the possibility of SM not being in a good mood, especially after her battle with cancer.

Protective factors are something very different. Religion is a strong protective factor, with some extra protection, it seems, among Catholics and people of Jewish faith, and, if we are to believe muslim statistics, Islam conferring ultra protection. It is not only the belief system, it is the community that is supportive that plays such an important role.

Children are a huge protective factor. Sometimes the only thing that may keep a person from suicide is the thought, "I can not do it to my children". (Sometimes a pet is enough, btw).

 

[24Brix]

Suicide is actually below alien abduction on my list of possible scenarios.

You think I'm joking.

By my rough calculations, there's zero probability that SM committed suicide.

Spoiler

ET here didn't snatch her, either.

JMO.

In the early days, a suicide scenario was very high on my list, second only to IPV. The struggle to beat cancer twice, to move away from many long time friends and family, to face the isolation of a COVID world, to be on the verge of empty-nesting, even the evening news — those are a lot of major life events and stressors that can have a dramatic impact on one’s mental health. I’ve seen it. I’ve even felt it at times.

But that quickly changed as the searches progressed, as LE locked down the house, as we learned more about the location of the bike, etc. The few facts we have, coupled with the recent anecdotal stories that reveal SM as a person rather than just a name and a few photos, make the idea of suicide ridiculous now, IMO.

 

[Minordetails]

These are my odds:
98% chance that BM is responsible for SM’s disappearance and death
1% chance SM staged her own disappearance (only scenario I can think of where BM is innocent that might explain his odd behaviour)
1% chance of some other wild scenario not involving BM
MOO