crhedBngr
Justice for Danielle Stislicki
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2015
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I think that a lot of times, sociopaths who are pretending do not realize that's what they are doing. They have fundamental mental problems. Freud called them "lacanuae of the ego," meaning "Big Holes in their Mental Processes," holes that they either fill with their own thoughts - sometimes delusional - or that they cannot see.
I say this because I have many very religious family members and over decades, I was pretty much surprised and sometimes alarmed by their ability to compartmentalize their view of themselves as Good Christian Men (I had one uncle who absolutely jonesed to be the only Praying Person at any family gatherings - to the point where my grandma, who also liked to pray, threw up her hands and said, "Just have him do it!") This same uncle also did a few things that are seriously wrong - but that didn't stop him from getting "pastoral education" from a random non-accredited "seminary," so that he could have a doctorate and lead a church.
No church ever found him to be a reasonable choice as a pastor, so instead, he signed up to be a pastor at every nursing home, longterm care facility and jail within driving distance. So that he could tell everyone and their brother he was a Pastor and then launch into his Pastor-speech.
He once told me that since his own father was an evil man and abusive, he needed to be a pastor to avoid going down that path.
He was never physically violent with my aunt (my mom's sister), but he was physically violent repeatedly with other males that he didn't like. He also cheated on my aunt, but throughout the entire event, was so lovey-dovey to my aunt and so solicitous of her health, that unless you knew the situation (straight from the woman's mouth, btw) you would never have thought of him as anything but a Good Christian Man. Which is how he styled himself. Lots of abusers and pedophiles do this; there are tons of "Good Christian" drug abusers and alcoholics (a good friend of mind, a Christian therapist, has a whole clinic of such people - and has written a number of self-help books for them, as well as juried academic articles on the topic).
In my own experience, having to live with a man who "goes off" on others (even if only other men - and even if somewhat justified), is scary. You just never know when they'll turn that anger and physical power against you.
Well put, as always!
JMVHO.