Conflict between Kaine/Desiree statements re: red flags/crying

[Mamietwo]

I don't think any of their statements are at odds. I think the differences relate to their different frame of references.

I totally agree. Nothing seemed out of place to me. Maybe not the exact words I'd use if I were in either of their places but the end result would be the same.

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

Re: the "unmade" bed. Quite frankly, I think that life, in general, in the Young household was more relaxed than Kyron's experiences in his father's home. Desiree seems like a laid-back, artistic, creative sort of person who didn't make incessant demands on Kyron during his visits to his mother's home. I'm not suggesting that it was a free-for-all, but I think that Desiree was more in tune to Kyron's emotional needs and didn't have the same expectations for perfection that her son might have experienced in Dad's home.

While I feel that Kaine is quite intelligent, he seems very regimented to me, and I get the impression that he demands a lot from himself and, therefore, probably had very high expectations of Kyron. I believe that Kaine was very strict with Kyron and wanted his son to follow specific rules that were set forth in his household. I also feel that Kaine had specific expectations for Kyron's academic achievements as evidenced by the intricacy of his science fair entry that greatly exceeded the typical efforts of a second-grader.

Making his bed each morning was probably part of the expected routine in the Horman home; Kyron might have balked at this chore because he felt that it was beyond his abilities - something that he could not do well. Things were less stressful at his mother's home, so Desiree let this chore slide because she didn't see it as a necessary task for her son at this stage of his life. jmo

 

[cluciano63]

I always took that about the bed to mean that she had turned it down for Kyron's arrival that night and has not made able to make it up again...they would have been arrving late and he might be ready for bed, or even asleep...

 

[BlOnDe_GuRrL]

The whole thing has me shaking my head and wondering how much more dirt is going to be dug up before this is all over with. I just don't see where any of it is helping to find Kyron, and could possibly be hurting the investigation. Slamming someone in the public is not going to make them develop a conscience... if anything, it's making Terri withdraw more and more into her shell and refuse to cooperate.
If she's innocent, she knows she's been unfairly targeted, so she clams up.
If she's guilty, she knows they'll get her at some point anyway.
Why would she suddenly open up? The woman who she has probably resented for years is calling her a liar on national t.v. and openly accusing her of disappearing her son. The man she loved at one time and who is the father of her daughter, has stripped her of her child, her home, and her dignity.
I don't think I would talk to them, either. And if what I suspect is true... she doesn't know where Kyron is now, and there is nothing she can do to bring him back.

Thanks x 10000

 

[Aedrys]

I don't see conflict, but crisis and this family is experiencing a horrific one. There will many statements/behaviors associated with this crisis and their grief such as disbelief, anger, confusion, shock, sadness, despair, guilt, humiliation, anxiety, fatigue, obsessional thoughts, and denial They may also begin to show physical symptoms that occur with acute grief. Eventually this crisis will affect all aspects of their lives including their personal finances, marriage, social support systems, the relationship with their previous spouse, and their long-term mental and physical health.

(Please, Lord, let Kyron be found. Send comfort and support to his family.)

Thank you, Pensfan. It's beyond me why people think that these grieving parents, and I mean real grieving parents, are expected to have full cognition and mental health, no wear and tear, and are supposed to think through everything they've said or done. Oh, and they were supposed to be psychic and know that something was going to happen to Kyron before hand and get him out of a bad situation. Desiree was supposed to rip Kyron out of his father's home that he had known for years just because of suspicion she couldn't prove. Kaine was supposed to be an anti - man, intuitive as a woman and know all the warning signs and get rid of Terri before this could happen.

Yes, they were supposed to be perfect parents with perfect attention to everything, and only say perfect words and phrases that didn't bash or paint poor Terri in in a bad light in any way - after all she hasn't done anything to make herself look bad, or acted in a way that has made herself look bad. She's just a poor victim of evil people bent on destroying her and should be left alone. It's the other parents that are evil, it's other parents that made Kyron disappear and she's just their fall guy in all of this.

And people seriously expect this when their world has been ripped apart, their beloved child taken from them? Who among us would be capable of rational thought, capable of watching ourselves at all times, of seeing all the signs beforehand and not looking back afterwards and seeing all of the signs, of considering the feelings of the one woman who has done nothing but act suspicious and bring down suspicion on herself? I wouldn't remember to take showers or have a thought that resembled something coherent if my child, yes, I'm talking about my stepchild, were taken. Yet here KH, DY, and TY are held to impossible standards. They are to be perfect and do and say no wrong in a most imperfect, horrid time in their lives. And if they're not praising Terri, not supporting her, not saying nice things about, then they're bad, evil people?

I know we don't know much. I know we don't know what the police have or how much of it. I know all we do know has come from interviews and Terri's actions and that's still not enough to have a good decision about anybody in this case. And yes, I do suspect Terri. But I also feel a lot more for the parents actually grieving for Kyron, the one's whose lives have really been ripped apart, the ones who actually act and talk like they GIVE A DAMN about Kyron. Because after following the Anthony case, where no one in that whole damn family acts like a murdered child ever meant anything to them, I am all for people who are actually grieving, who are actually still trying to come to terms with what happened and who did it, and who are not acting crazy and bringing suspicion down on themselves every step of the way while not appearing to care Kyron or the rest of her kids at all.

Those who expect perfection from loving parents who lost their children have obviously never been through a situation like this. I haven't either, but I know that they aren't themselves, they aren't fully capable of really being themselves or censoring themselves very much at this point, and to expect them to shower Terri with love and concern when she clearly doesn't deserve it and may have been involved with happened to Kyron is unbelievable.

I applaud them for stopping the press conferences because I think it was wearing on them, and tearing them up. Imagine having to directly confront the situation twice a week like that in front of national media. We don't know what they were like once the cameras were turned off. I think they held up long enough to get off camera and almost fall apart.

I know there's no solid of evidence of Terri's involvement, but I'm not willing to blindly say she has to be innocent and tear apart every word of the other parents to garner more sympathy for Terri. She hasn't given anyone one solid reason to have sympathy for her. She shows she cares, she shows she's more human than someone who's totally selfish and hiding something, then she'll get my sympathy.

And if for some reason it turns she didn't have anything to do with this, I will feel bad for suspecting her, but I still won't like her. She's still a messed up woman who never left high school and thinks she can go through life behaving they way she does. That is not a person I would ever trust or want to know. And sooner or later, if she didn't hurt Kyron, she'll hurt someone else, I'm sure of it. All IMO, of course.

 

[goatman]

I think one of the main theories about if TH did have a hand in Kyron's disappearance why she did it was because she wanted him "out of the way" or didn't like him.

I want to put forth a new (or at least I haven't read it here) theory. What if she did it because DY was hinting at wanting full custody and she A. either saw her "meal ticket" possibly disappearing or B. it was a case of "if I can't have him, no one can". She raised Kyron from infancy, and while DY was apart of his life from what I have read TH was the primary caregiver, and now seven years later (after the terrible twos, teething, potty training...ect) she wants custody? That would be a blow to anyone I think, but if TH was already teetering on the edge (PPD?) it might have been enough to toss her over the edge. That's B. Now A. going again with the theory that DY was hinting at custody if TH only thought about herself, she could have thought that without custody of Kyron KH wouldn't have a reason to marry her. Yes she had Baby K, but it was because (supposedly) of Kyron and his needs that she moved in with KH in the first place. Suddenly, DY is hinting at custody and TH wants to do everything in her power to still retain a place in the family if that happens. So, she concocts an "elaborate" plan to do something with (I refuse to speculate-my heart can't take it) Kyron so that KH needs her. his whole world has just been shattered by the disappearance of his son-who better to lean on than the love of your life-your wife . She has thus ensured her continued place in the house-as long as no one suspects her.

Moo, only MOO, nothing but MOO

 

[RoughlyCollie]

Well, the problem some people have with her statement is that the last time Kyron slept in the bed would have been 2 weeks prior to him going missing. So that means she didn't make the bed for 2 weeks before making the conscious decision to leave it unmade.

And their world didn't cave in because of that.

Who cares if DY makes the beds in her house or when she does it? It is not important.

 

[xin]

And their world didn't cave in because of that.

Who cares if DY makes the beds in her house or when she does it? It is not important.

Exactly, and at the very least we can cut this mom some slack. It's not dangerous or crazy to have a messy bed in one's home. Do me a favor and don't look around too closely when you come to visit unexpectedly. It's awful. SRSLY.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

Exactly, and at the very least we can cut this mom some slack. It's not dangerous or crazy to have a messy bed in one's home. Do me a favor and don't look around too closely when you come to visit unexpectedly. It's awful. SRSLY.

My house is never, ever a mess. In fact, Martha Stewart came by one day and told me to loosen up. True story. Honest! :angel:

 

[Emma Peel]

My house is never, ever a mess. In fact, Martha Stewart came by one day and told me to loosen up. True story. Honest! :angel:

:rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling:

 

[txsvicki]

Nurses work their rears off, usually long stressful hours, and Kyron probably had his own room that wasn't used for anything until he came back. Maybe Desiree was more worried about his increasing unhappiness and sobbing about having to go back home than about rushing home and making his bed. If it was a comforter, then it could have been pulled up but not actually smoothed and pillows straightened, until he was set to return to his other home again. Also, I think Desiree is the one who's had her child snatched away, twice at that.

 

[TrY]

Kaine doesn't want to discuss how or when he met Terri -- my impression is that is because it would reflect badly on him if he was still married to Desiree at the time he met Terri.

Desiree would certainly have a different impression of Terri especially if Terri were "the other woman" in her marriage. And that would carry through of her impression of Terri as a stepmom.

I've always thought that both Kaine and Desiree have competing interests in this case of their missing child Kyron and so for now while they may be putting on a united front perhaps that may not be the case in the future.