Cox Family Press Conference - 15 Feb 2010

[omegagal]

Apparently she was sincere in wanting to "save their marriage". Naively, it turns out.



Just because JP was a jerk, no. But how about her mentioning that if she ever was found dead, it was not a suicide because she wouldn't leave her kids? Her parents provided her a cell phone just in case something should happen. Not sure what something they were thinking about, but on whatever occasion there was physical abuse it was enough for them to believe it, or something worse, could happen later. Certainly she would not want to spill the beans to everyone at work and church, so maybe noone had enuf info to know the seriousness, but did she confide in a few people?. I wonder how many of those things she told to the marriage counselor? Was the counselor trained to put two-and-two together? Do they interview the husband and wife in private, separately? Are such controlling behaviors so common, and the violence escalation so rare that it was worth the risk to OK a plan to have her give him 1.5 years to change?

I believe you have hit the nail on the head...

I wonder how many of those things she told to the marriage counselor? Was the counselor trained to put two-and-two together? Do they interview the husband and wife in private, separately? Are such controlling behaviors so common, and the violence escalation so rare that it was worth the risk to OK a plan to have her give him 1.5 years to change?

If she didn't confide in her friends, a professional counselor should have known what was going on... it only took us (as a group) a couple of days to figure it out. A professional absolutely should have known. Now, I believe the question is, Was she seeing a professional counselor (licensed) or did she only think she was in the care of a professional (a grad student with no experience in abuse)?

 

[hollyblue]

Dom - I think the greatest leverage he had with Susan was the children.... if you haven't already, look at the history of Josh's mom and dad and their child custody battle. Statistically dads that fight, win.

I don't believe Josh is a "knucklehead". IMHO he is a narcissistic psychopath.

This is something that has alway left me with a big question mark....how in the world did the father get custody of the children in their divorce? Also reports she had to pay child support???? Wouldn't he had to prove she was unfit?
I think the whole family needs counseling. JMO.

 

[hollyblue]

I believe you have hit the nail on the head...

I wonder how many of those things she told to the marriage counselor? Was the counselor trained to put two-and-two together? Do they interview the husband and wife in private, separately? Are such controlling behaviors so common, and the violence escalation so rare that it was worth the risk to OK a plan to have her give him 1.5 years to change?

If she didn't confide in her friends, a professional counselor should have known what was going on... it only took us (as a group) a couple of days to figure it out. A professional absolutely should have known. Now, I believe the question is, Was she seeing a professional counselor (licensed) or did she only think she was in the care of a professional (a grad student with no experience in abuse)?

She went to counceling through the church. I don't know if they would have been required to have a license??? Josh had apparently quit going.
I'm not a therapist, but why didn't they have her "set goals" for herself. She couldn't change his behavior...only he could if he wanted to and help save the marriage. If he were to change, he would have to lose the whole controlling thought pattern. JMO But I think Josh quit going to church when Susan started realizing her worth as a person, he felt ganged upon and needed dad for reinforcement. He didn't want to change. He wanted the "new" Susan to go away.

 

[gwenabob]

This is something that has alway left me with a big question mark....how in the world did the father get custody of the children in their divorce? Also reports she had to pay child support???? Wouldn't he had to prove she was unfit?
I think the whole family needs counseling. JMO.

I am no expert on these matters, but my parents were divorced and a couple of my siblings went with dad, and some with mom.

I suspect what happened is the kids were old enough (usually over 12 years old) to have some input as to where they wanted to live. Probably Steve Powell doggedly dissed mom and spent all his time "programming" the kids to believe she was a bad mom and they were better off without her and he was the "good guy" and got the kids to all say they wanted to live with him. (Except the eldest, Jennifer, who knew better).

Now, put that with Josh getting the boys out of bed, undermining Susan's authority, saying "mommy is so mean." Sounds like an intergenerational pattern.

 

[Dr.Fessel]

Moved-posted to wrong thread.


The company Josh worked for is no small business. What I find fascinating, is the fact it is run by a savvy woman.


http://www.supplychaindigital.com/As...eel_31976.aspx

http://www.examiner.com/x-34328-Seat...n-she-realized

Neither of those links worked for me. You must have copied them from the original post and WS shortens the links. You will have to go back to the originals and get them.

 

[PickieChickie]

Neither of those links worked for me. You must have copied them from the original post and WS shortens the links. You will have to go back to the originals and get them.

That's interesting. The first link worked for me immediately after it was posted now it says "Bad request".

I did not click on the second link to the blog.

 

[hollyblue]

Neither of those links worked for me. You must have copied them from the original post and WS shortens the links. You will have to go back to the originals and get them.

ARRRGH!

Let's try this again. Sorry and TY for the heads up.

Josh's employer.


http://www.supplychaindigital.com/Aspen-Logistics--Family-culture--small-company-feel_31976.aspx


http://www.examiner.com/x-34328-Sea...roblems-were-bigger-scarier-than-she-realized

 

[sunnydee]

The most recent information I heard about the marriage counseling is that Susan was going to the counselor by herself most recently. Josh and she went together in the beginning, but I guess he stopped going. If they were going to LDSSS (Latter Day Saint Social Services) the agency does have licensed therapists, either LCSWs, MFTs, or LPCs. They also do have graduate students who are working under the supervision of a licensed therapist for their practicums.

(For those who are unfamiliar with the term "LDS" it is the preferred name for Mormons. They identify as being LDS rather than Mormons; but most non-Mormons usually call them Mormons)

 

[sunnydee]

I have a daughter who was residing in WA state. She says the laws for moving out of the state with children after a divorce is really strict. If a couple were living together in WA, then later got divorced in WA, the custodial parent is unable to move out of state with the children without the consent of the non custodial parent. If the custodial parent insists on moving out of state, then the other parent who remains in WA would get custody of the children. She says that the state takes visitation rights very seriously, and does not feel it is right for a parent to move out of the state and force the other parent to have limited time with the children or to pay a lot of money to visit. This makes it really difficult for people who would like to move because of employment opportunities.

My daughter says this is how the law is currently, I don't know if it was the same back when Josh's parents divorced. It could be the mother lost custodial rights because she moved out of state.

 

[sunnydee]

It seems to me that their foundation is expecting to cover a large range of expenses - I wonder if they started up with a grant of any kind. To do all that they say they will, would require a LOT of money. It is a lot of work to raise money, and to keep it replenish year after year.

http://susancoxfoundation.org/Donations.aspx

Funds received will be used in these 3 general areas:

Direct Services to families of missing loved ones, including
costs associated with the search expenses
consulting expenses
legal expenses
To provide educational materials in the community and school based settings
Cover costs associated with the day-to-day expenses of running the foundation

 

[PickieChickie]

It seems to me that their foundation is expecting to cover a large range of expenses - I wonder if they started up with a grant of any kind. To do all that they say they will, would require a LOT of money. It is a lot of work to raise money, and to keep it replenish year after year.

http://susancoxfoundation.org/Donations.aspx

Funds received will be used in these 3 general areas:

Direct Services to families of missing loved ones, including
costs associated with the search expenses
consulting expenses
legal expenses
To provide educational materials in the community and school based settings
Cover costs associated with the day-to-day expenses of running the foundation

They can pay themselves per hour spent providing the services, for one thing. So, they've created jobs for themselves if this plan works.

 

[rd_jfc]

You could expect salaries rather than per hour.

rd

 

[PickieChickie]

You could expect salaries rather than per hour.

rd

Wow! This isn't looking too good.

 

[rd_jfc]

She went to counceling through the church. I don't know if they would have been required to have a license??? Josh had apparently quit going.
I'm not a therapist, but why didn't they have her "set goals" for herself....

She said she was going through with the divorce unless JP was <insert some Mormon term here> by just about now.

That sounds like a pretty firm goal to me. And it's why she has disappeared.

She became inconvenient.

rd

 

[grayjay]

It's never a good idea to set goals for someone else, even if they are your employee, it's best if they're by agreement.

 

[RayO]

I am no expert on these matters, but my parents were divorced and a couple of my siblings went with dad, and some with mom.

I suspect what happened is the kids were old enough (usually over 12 years old) to have some input as to where they wanted to live. Probably Steve Powell doggedly dissed mom and spent all his time "programming" the kids to believe she was a bad mom and they were better off without her and he was the "good guy" and got the kids to all say they wanted to live with him. (Except the eldest, Jennifer, who knew better).
.

There may be something to that, but JP's mom is the one that "ran away" to Utah from Washington, taking the eldest daughter. So not such a cut-n-dried parallel to SP's life.

 

[RayO]

The most recent information I heard about the marriage counseling is that Susan was going to the counselor by herself most recently. Josh and she went together in the beginning, but I guess he stopped going. If they were going to LDSSS (Latter Day Saint Social Services) the agency does have licensed therapists, either LCSWs, MFTs, or LPCs. They also do have graduate students who are working under the supervision of a licensed therapist for their practicums.

(For those who are unfamiliar with the term "LDS" it is the preferred name for Mormons. They identify as being LDS rather than Mormons; but most non-Mormons usually call them Mormons)

So are the LDS counselors required to do their job "within the faith"?? That is, can they encourage a couple to find a common ground in their own faith, even if it means losing the family from active participation in the LDS Church? Given the amount of time, effort and money the LDS Church puts into proselytizing, and their stance that they are the "one true church", I don't think so.

 

[RayO]

JMO But I think Josh quit going to church when Susan started realizing her worth as a person, he felt ganged upon and needed dad for reinforcement. He didn't want to change. He wanted the "new" Susan to go away.

Actually, there was an interview with a neighbor (Tim) that said Josh had some concerns about the Joseph Smith story (after hearing of the multiple and changing versions of Smith's first vision, if I recall correctly), that caused him to stop believing in the LDS Church teachings several years prior.

 

[PickieChickie]

It's never a good idea to set goals for someone else, even if they are your employee, it's best if they're by agreement.

I am sure JP felt ganged up on and, as each day passed, became more and more resentful as he realized he had no desire to accomplish all that was demanded of him, that he viewed the "goals" as ultimatums. After all, JP had grown accustom to his supreme, self appointed role of authority over Susan and who was she to tell him what to do?

 

[PickieChickie]

Actually, there was an interview with a neighbor (Tim) that said Josh had some concerns about the Joseph Smith story (after hearing of the multiple and changing versions of Smith's first vision, if I recall correctly), that caused him to stop believing in the LDS Church teachings several years prior.

I wonder if it was the story about the golden plates JP was having trouble with:

From http://wikipedia.com

The Smith family supplemented its meager farm income by treasure-digging,[18] likewise relatively common in contemporary New England.[19] Joseph claimed an ability to use seer stones for locating lost items and buried treasure.[20]

To do so, Smith would put a stone in a white stovepipe hat and would then see the required information in reflections given off by the stone.[21]

In 1823, while praying for forgiveness from his "gratification of many appetites",[22] Smith said he was visited at night by an angel named Moroni, who revealed the location of a buried book of golden plates as well as other artifacts, including a breastplate and a set of silver spectacles with lenses composed of seer stones, which had been hidden in a hill named Cumorah near his home.[23]

Smith said he attempted to remove the plates the next morning but was unsuccessful because the angel struck him down with supernatural force.[24]

During the next four years, Smith made annual visits to Cumorah, only to return without the plates because he claimed that he had not brought with him the "right person" required by the angel.[25]

At one of his jobs, he met Emma Hale and eloped with her on January 18, 1827, because her parents disapproved of the match.[28] Claiming his stone told him that Emma was the key to obtaining the plates,[29] Smith went with her to the hill on September 22, 1827.

This time, he said he retrieved the plates and placed them in a locked chest.[30] He said the angel commanded him not to show the plates to anyone else but to publish their translation, reputed to be the religious record of indigenous Americans.[31]

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Smith_Jr[/ame].