Great post back! J
Yes, I agree. “The Art of War” appears to be a well-known and well-respected book and I can see how it would be helpful when one is involved in military strategy or even strategizing business dealings, but FD just took the knowledge he gained in a terrible direction. I have not read the book, but I am 100% certain that the book was not written to be applied to individual interpersonal relationships. I agree that the quotes speak to FD and how his mind works. The quotes could definitely be interpreted in a way where they recommend to do what you need to do in order to achieve a goal. And yes, poor JD… She suffered the worst kind of emotional abuse. Emotional terrorism is actually a great description… She knew he was dangerous, but would she have known to what extent he would go to achieve his goal? I don’t know, someone like FD has the ability to hide this pretty well, I think. I also completely agree with you that he broke her down mentally in the worst kind of way. There is no way that this would not have affected her self-esteem and self-confidence. JD was never weak, but he surely made every effort to break her down.
Another chilling quote…. “Engage people with what they expect; it is what they are able to discern and confirms their projections. It settles them into predictable patterns of response, occupying their minds while you wait for the extraordinary moment — that which they cannot anticipate.” I fear that these very difficult/hostile divorce proceedings would have occupied JD’s mind, like it would everybody. She continued to be a great mother and functioned well in all of her roles. I am in awe of JD! This is not an easy thing to do…
And last quote… “When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move.” Yes, emotional terrorism… I cannot think of a better description!
MOO