Some say there are always red flags. That's not always true. Mine was the most loving and affectionate of anybody I had ever been with. He received the stamp of approval from mutual friends I had known and who had known him for many years. These guys toe the line for a while, sometimes a long while until they get what they want or just can't hide their true nature anymore. I did criminal backgrounds on him in 2 different states and there was a DUI from about 25 years prior and a couple traffic tickets. Which he had told me about. He had a decently high clearance at a place where shuttles and rockets are launched. I found out many things after he left. Financial infidelity started to happen even prior to marriage. I tracked down one of the women he had told me about who he said robbed him of his business. It was the opposite. He robbed her. She had already heard about what happened to me before we ever spoke. There was a secret 2nd cell phone I knew nothing about. To summarize, yes, there can be red flags, but not always. These men/women are con artists, prolific liars and thieves. A person often doesn't know until you are in too deep.
Absolutely, they hide themselves til eh they just don't feel like it anymore..like my friends ex, he just got messy, messy....and being that messy was his OUT to get her to file and divorce him. Like FD saying, hey listen Jennifer, lets me, you our children, my mistress and her child live in the house your dad pays for .. its a way to get so so messy you are just OUT as the monster you have been hiding.