Kamille
Shine bright like a diamond
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ty Kamille for your thoughtful post. This is also my struggle with AB. My husband is self employed construction contractor. This work is physical and sometimes, like now, he works daytime on one job and then evenings on another, the competion out there is tough right now because of the economy. Every Tom Dick and Harry who has found himself unemployed has suddenly become a "contractor" and is out there underbidding the actual carpenters etc. So when an opportunity to work arises, despite the fact that you may just break even, you gotta take it.
Many blue collar guys that I know, including DH, are gone before the kids rise and are home after their chirldren are abed. DH does not peek in on them when he arrives after a long day. He is dirty, smelly, and heads for the shower, and then bed. He relies heavily on me to handle the kids, homework, school contact, etc. My DH loves our children, but he could not name our kids teachers. That falls under my job description.
It is the division of roles in my home and many others.
I am angry at AB for putting Zahra in this position. I am angry over reports that he "let" EB handle the discipline of Zahra according to some witnesses even so far as abuse. This makes me very upset with him and I want him held accountable.
I have a hard time figuring out what I feel was AB's level of involvement. I can find nothing to make 100% genuinely certain that he knew beforehand or was part of some plan.
The thing that prevents me from being able to commit to the stance that AB knew nothing is the multiple dumpsites and the dog hits on BOTH vehicles. I find it hard to imagine two seperate trips in two vehicles by one person at separate times to dump dismembered body parts. That just doesn't fit for me. In the words of Judge Judy - If it doesn't makes sense, it isn't true.
Some have suggested that perhpas AB's company vehicle was used to haul and dump the matress, thereby explaining the hit on it by the dogs. This makes no sense to me as I believe, based on LE interest in and removal of the dumpster from the business right near Baker home, that the matress was hand carried/dragged to that dumpster and no vehicle was needed to accomplish that.
SO there you have it. I do not want to jump on any bandwagons perematurely and I want to afford a grieving father some dignity if that is indeed what he is but while I have no facts to base AB's possible guilt on, his behavior, statements, etc. after the case broke trouble me immensely.
ME ----> stymied.
We all look at these cases with our own life experiences in the back of our mind tl, thank you for sharing yours. It's not surprising at all that everyone can come to different conclusions and I would imagine it's those life experiences that prosecutors and defense lawyers are honing in on when trying to choose jury members.
Thank goodness for your DH that he has you to "hold the fort" so to speak while he is out working hard to make a living. If he knows anything about this case, I hope he realizes just how lucky he is. The stay at home wife and mother's job is just as tough, many would say tougher, but it gives one parent a lot of leeway with regards to how the children are being treated and cared for. That's why marriages are built on love and trust. Without the trust, it just doesn't work. Imagine being married to a lying sociopath. The fallout from realizing that everything is/was a lie must be devastating.
I know that in hindsight a few people have come out publicly to speak about what they witnessed regarding abuse, but other than BB, I don't believe anyone has mentioned AB being around when these incidents supposedly took place. And I'm not sure what the timeframe is for BB claims. Was this supposedly before and after AB had a job or just after. Once AB was working, EB sure would have had a lot more leeway with Zahra and if any resentment had been building, a lot more opportunity to take it out on her.
Again you have to understand the abilities of a true sociopath to understand how someone might not be able to see what is right there, under their nose, so to speak. I believe I've read accounts from at least three different people who claim that one aspect that makes this so tragic is that Zahra really loved EB. That's the perception that Zahra herself may have been putting forward to the public, including her own father, but for the life of me I can't understand why. From what we have seen, there is nothing lovable about EB but obviously from her many marriages and other adult relationships that somehow she's been able to maintain over the years, there's a side of her that we're just not hearing about. She likely had Zahra believing that she deserved the "punishment" when it was dished out but the rest of the time she may have seemed like a good mother and maybe even friend. Hard to say or even imagine really.
Regarding multiple dumpsites, to my knowledge there are only two that LE has made us aware of. And both of them would have been very familiar to EB. AB did not live in that area but we don't know if he knew of the area from his work. Either way, EB was likely directing that part of the disposal, no matter whoever actually did it.
The articles regarding the search at the landfill seemed to point out that the landfill that was searched was not the landfill that the trash from Catawba county was sent to. There was a reason for that IMO. The media likely knew from inside sources that LE were aware that the dumpster was not in the county they were living in. EB claims to have lead LE to the dumpster that the mattress was placed in. I don't think LE needed anyone to lead them to the one right next to the house. But taking it made perfect sense because there could have been a lot of other smaller evidence dumped there.
MOO