Does parenthood and age effect our judgement?

[Linda7NJ]

Over 40 w/ kid I voted no charges

 

[LCoastMom]

Thank you for the kind words. It might have been brave I suppose, but I went to a cyber advice site and they told me flat out I was an enabler and though I thought I was helping my daughter, I was actually hurting her, and that gave me the courage to do the right thing.
They weren't the first ones who gave me similiar advice, but they were the first strangers to do so. When I asked for input from trusted others, they completely agreed. I was also given hope that in a year or two, she would be standing on her own feet, and even thankful. So I set my eyes on the prize to endure the extreme insults and accusations in the present.
I have learned much with what has happend to Caylee. I don't think CA could have saved Caylee no matter what she tried, and honestly her incredible patience with Casey was what kept her from her ultimate acting out sooner. I personally believe that. CA has incredible love for her family. Casey simply abused that love.
That's just my opinion.
I understand LE has done a good job in this case.
They have been extremely patient with CA.

Yosande, I think we all start out enabling them. Early on we are still parenting the child they were. Later, some continue to enable out of guilt, some do because they won't learn how to parent effectively, some get caught in a struggle and don't know how to get out. Many times it seems there is a young child involved and they are trying to protect the child. Whatever the reason, until the parent takes back control, it makes for a very volatile, unpleasant home life.

My oldest has BoarderLine Personality, I suppose it could be be said she is not at the severe end of the spectrum. That means little to me, as she is not the incredible child I raised and I miss her. I miss who she was everyday.

In the 8 years since my daughter was diagnosed there has not been much improvement in her situation. What has changed is the way I react to her. I will not allow her to pull me in, she gets that tone in her voice and it's the end of the conversation. Period. It makes me really sad to think about the adult relationship we're missing out on, but until she wants to make some changes, it's the best I can do. And I think as parents, when we love our kids that's what we strive for everyday.

I'm sorry for Cindy, I think I know what she has been through with KC. I've heard that tone KC gets in her voice and I've seen the way it effects Cindy. I don't think Cindy has ever learned to effectively parent KC, I think what we saw on the "lost video" was something that happened on a regular basis. And I don't think a fight on 6/15 per se is what caused KC to end Caylee's life. If you notice in "the lost video", KC was as close to a total melt down as anyone I've ever seen, yet before the visit was over KC was almost back to her normal self.

 

[LCoastMom]

Let's see, I'm 44 with 6 (yes six) kids, Daughters are 25, 19, 16 and 8, Son's are 18 and 12 and one grandson (7months).

Since it's public record, I'll spill, Oldest Daughter 25, just got out of prison, we thought while she was going to college (btw she was actually going, she got her A.S. in the mail after her sentencing hearing), that she was working as a waitress at a well known chain resteraunt. We had no clue that she WASN'T, she was using this place as her "cover" to sell drugs (trafficking), everyone there knew her and I could call up anytime and if she wasn't there, the employees would let her know that I had called as soon as she came in and she would call me from their phone. I can't even begin to tell you how I felt when DEA and all that goes along with it, show up at my house in the middle of the night to execute a search warrent and a warrent for my daughters arrest. I was mortified, humiliated, angry (actually seeing red), and pretty much screaming at the cops "your wrong" "My daughter wouldn't do that" blah blah blah.

Needless to say, if I had been caught on tape, it would not have been one of my finer moments :crazy:

But (big but here), when they pulled the liner out of her trunk, and the proof was there for me to see, I shut up and handed the cops my copy of the key to her car.

I visited her in jail while she was awaiting trial, I visited her in her 3 year stay in prison, I bought her a bike when she went to Work Release so she could go to and from work.

The point to this? I feel so sorry for Cindy, but I don't feel that it gives her a get out of jail free card, if she has done anything to cover up what KC has done.

You can love and support, without enabling.

I had no choice but to believe, the truth was in the trunk (unlike CA, I shut up as soon as as I saw it).

I couldn't believe this was happening to our family! I was a to say the least "mad".

You know the worst of the whole thing? I went to high school with the cop that arrested my daughter, he was so apologetic (in hindsight it's funny).

The point to all of this, is once your children are adults, the decisions they make have nothing to do with how they were raised, it's all about them at that point.

My daughters bail was 5000, not once did she ask me to bail her out (I wouldn't have btw), she was more worried about how it had affected the younger kids.

I talked to her about this a couple of times, she told me "Mom if I lost a kid, I would sit in jail even if you had bailed me out, I'm more afraid of you than the cops"

She knows me well

Your reaction to both LE and your daughter was admirable.

I'm sure LE appreciated your cooperation in light of the way so many parents insist their child would never do what the evidence so clearly says they did.

But the thing that really stands out to me is your daughter and the way she
accepted responsibility for her actions. Her concern for her siblings, sitting in jail, knowing better than to expect you to bail her out speaks very highly of the way she was raised.

We all make mistakes, some are just bigger than others. Accepting responsibility for and moving past them is the important thing. Your daughter was a very young adult at the time of her mistake, but it sounds like she has behaved in a very mature way. I'm sure knowing she had your love and support at that time in her life was everything to her.

BTW Congratulations on your 6 kids and your new grandbaby.

 

[LCoastMom]

-------------------------
Hi, I am a grandmom and grt.grandmom.I agree with you.I feel the same way.They (the A's) have had more than their share but they know right from wrong.They need to learn truthfulness.KC. made her mistakes and must pay,so do they need to own up.

Gotta wonder how much of KC's trouble with the truth was learned at mama C's knee...

 

[mistressammie]

I am 60, hubby 62, 2 children and 5 grandchildren.......we say CHARGE THEM!
Happy tonight to have the 2 smallest with us for the STEELER game, such a joy to
be grandparents!!!!

To The Superbowl! Woot!

I am a 25 year old mother of 2 - and I feel that as of RIGHT NOW, with the evidence we know of, the A's shouldn't be charged. However, if there are things we don't know of which implicate the A's - let them be charged.

I guess it's difficult to say...I will definitely say that I feel as if the A's knew (were not involved in covering up) but knew in their hearts and still stood by Casey - which is disgusting.

 

[mankato64]

I am under 40, no kids, no grandkids. I do have nieces though and with that my question is why do people when questioning specific presumed killers of children seem to only agree with someone who has kids(is a parent or even grandparent)...just because you are a parent does not make you a good parent. Also just because you have not had a child does not make you a bad nurturing adult.

 

[Searchfortruth]

Over 40, two adult daughters, no Grandchildren. I believe if they committed a crime and there is evidence of that, they should be charged. There should be no free ride. In my opinion they have provided false statements, obstructed justice and tampered with evidence. There could possibly be other charges, Cindy's get together with Casey's friends right after Casey was arrested does not pass the common sense test. Lee picking up Casey's purse, luggage, computer and taking two hours to bring these items back to the house was clearly uncalled for. I can't imagine, if in the same situation, doing ANY of these things, it is no gray area, IMO.

 

[lisalei321]

Your reaction to both LE and your daughter was admirable.

I'm sure LE appreciated your cooperation in light of the way so many parents insist their child would never do what the evidence so clearly says they did.

But the thing that really stands out to me is your daughter and the way she
accepted responsibility for her actions. Her concern for her siblings, sitting in jail, knowing better than to expect you to bail her out speaks very highly of the way she was raised.

We all make mistakes, some are just bigger than others. Accepting responsibility for and moving past them is the important thing. Your daughter was a very young adult at the time of her mistake, but it sounds like she has behaved in a very mature way. I'm sure knowing she had your love and support at that time in her life was everything to her.

BTW Congratulations on your 6 kids and your new grandbaby.

Thank you!

I would hope at some point that the Anthony's realize that they aren't doing KC any good at all.

Their behavior has been appalling with what's came out, if it would have been me in the "lost video", I wouldn't have cared if I was being taped, I would have told her to tell me the truth, or she could sit her butt right were it was.

The lost opportunity to get her out would have stayed just that.

 

[LCoastMom]

I am under 40, no kids, no grandkids. I do have nieces though and with that my question is why do people when questioning specific presumed killers of children seem to only agree with someone who has kids(is a parent or even grandparent)...just because you are a parent does not make you a good parent. Also just because you have not had a child does not make you a bad nurturing adult.

Thank you for answering the poll.

I'm not sure where your question is directed, but my interest was to see if those who had kids or grand kids were going to be more sympathetic to the A's than those who don't. As it turned out, (imperfectly because too many people only answered 1 of 2 choices) it seems the people with children have a much harsher take on this than those who don't.

For me personally, when I married my husband I had 3 children. Their biological father hadn't been in their lives for years. A man who had no children of his own before we married, has been a wonderful father to them. So believe me I am well aware it doesn't take biology to be parent.

 

[MeenaMom]

I voted Charges but did not vote on the age thing..Because I am not over 40 I am 4o and I have 3 children and no grandchildren since my oldest is 19 I DO NOT WANT grandchildren yet. Because of this case I hope all three of my children wait until they are 30 for kids.
Cindy should be charged while she is grandma and a victim she has done WAY to much to interfere with this case and she is Protecting KC and Not Caylee or Caylee's memory...
MOO

 

[surini59]

Over 40, have 2 kids and 2 grands and 2 stepgrands....voted charges. I believe all 3 family members had knowledge of Caylee's death or location, and anyone who purposely conceals or lies or destroys evidence needs to be charged.

 

[LCoastMom]

Thank you!

I would hope at some point that the Anthony's realize that they aren't doing KC any good at all.

Their behavior has been appalling with what's came out, if it would have been me in the "lost video", I wouldn't have cared if I was being taped, I would have told her to tell me the truth, or she could sit her butt right were it was.

The lost opportunity to get her out would have stayed just that.

I guess if KC never see's them again, it's no longer an issue. If found guilty they'll never really be in a position to parent her again so it won't matter. If she where my daughter I would have given her the ultimatum long ago, "when you're ready to be honest, give me a call" and left it at that. Maybe at some point they can get there. They need to accept the reality of what happened to Caylee first tho.

I think C&G missed that opportunity in the first visits, it needed to happen before they got this far into the game. Cindy couldn't put a complete sentence together in front of KC that day. Geo was either so caught up in being the favored parent or still playing good cop, that he didn't do the right thing, I'm not sure which.

I think if KC had said; "go down Hopesprings, turn towards the school on Suburban and find the bag under the tree." It would have gone right over Cindy's head during this visit. She was consumed in grief over what was sitting right in front of her and KC laughed about it.

Geo saying, "now that you know you can trust me", then he added "you can trust Lee, you can trust your mom..." WTH was that about? When did non-trust issues ever come into play and what did they do to prove to her she could trust them? That little comment has been making me nuts.

 

[Dejablue]

Over 40 with Kids/GrandKids - I believe that the A's should be charged. I cannot believe that they dont hold KC responsible for what happened to Caylee. If it were me, my daughter and granddaughter, my daughter would be held accountable for her actions.

 

[nursebeeme]

(barely) under 40 with a birthday in a few weeks lol.... with one child... a son... who is 10.

I voted charge 'em!

I cannot wait to see what wftv has to report on later this week in terms of the evidence from the home! After it is released purhaps re run this poll...??

 

[newsjunkie]

i am a 29 year old single mother of 2, i say charge them all

I'm an under 40 mother of 2 and I concur. CHARGE!!!

 

[Zoe Bogart]

Let's see, I'm 44 with 6 (yes six) kids, Daughters are 25, 19, 16 and 8, Son's are 18 and 12 and one grandson (7months).

Since it's public record, I'll spill, Oldest Daughter 25, just got out of prison, we thought while she was going to college (btw she was actually going, she got her A.S. in the mail after her sentencing hearing), that she was working as a waitress at a well known chain resteraunt. We had no clue that she WASN'T, she was using this place as her "cover" to sell drugs (trafficking), everyone there knew her and I could call up anytime and if she wasn't there, the employees would let her know that I had called as soon as she came in and she would call me from their phone. I can't even begin to tell you how I felt when DEA and all that goes along with it, show up at my house in the middle of the night to execute a search warrent and a warrent for my daughters arrest. I was mortified, humiliated, angry (actually seeing red), and pretty much screaming at the cops "your wrong" "My daughter wouldn't do that" blah blah blah.

Needless to say, if I had been caught on tape, it would not have been one of my finer moments :crazy:

But (big but here), when they pulled the liner out of her trunk, and the proof was there for me to see, I shut up and handed the cops my copy of the key to her car.

I visited her in jail while she was awaiting trial, I visited her in her 3 year stay in prison, I bought her a bike when she went to Work Release so she could go to and from work.

The point to this? I feel so sorry for Cindy, but I don't feel that it gives her a get out of jail free card, if she has done anything to cover up what KC has done.

You can love and support, without enabling.

You are a brave woman. I've met others like you and I have met enablers. Trust me, those like you are the ones who are more able to accept that their wayward children's actions aren't a reflection on themselves. Good parents sometimes have children who do bad things. Once our kids are adults, their actions are THEIR OWN responsibility, not that of their parents'. I have a friend who's an enabler and she has suffered mightily for it, including the violent death of one of her children.

This weekend, a woman was murdered on the street. Today, we're told two of the three criminals are behind bars. Why? Because their mothers (separately) saw the sketches of the culprits on TV and telephoned police, saying, "I think it's my son". Both teens confessed. Those two mothers were strong and brave and it's evident they know right from wrong. Can you imagine how difficult it was for them?

Not all parents act like Cindy and George. It was their responsibility to speak for Caylee since her mother refused to, but instead, they sided with Casey, deliberately. I believe those grandparents should be charged with obstruction of justice.

 

[LCoastMom]

You are a brave woman. I've met others like you and I have met enablers. Trust me, those like you are the ones who are more able to accept that their wayward children's actions aren't a reflection on themselves. Good parents sometimes have children who do bad things. Once our kids are adults, their actions are THEIR OWN responsibility, not that of their parents'. I have a friend who's an enabler and she has suffered mightily for it, including the violent death of one of her children.

This weekend, a woman was murdered on the street. Today, we're told two of the three criminals are behind bars. Why? Because their mothers (separately) saw the sketches of the culprits on TV and telephoned police, saying, "I think it's my son". Both teens confessed. Those two mothers were strong and brave and it's evident they know right from wrong. Can you imagine how difficult it was for them?

Not all parents act like Cindy and George. It was their responsibility to speak for Caylee since her mother refused to, but instead, they sided with Casey, deliberately. I believe those grandparents should be charged with obstruction of justice.

OMG Can you imagine turning on the news and seeing a sketch that looked like your child, being sought for questioning in a woman's murder? How heart breaking for all the families involved. How brave of those women to call the PD.

I can't imagine being in that spot, but honestly I believe I would do the same thing. Either to clear my child or to make him accept the responsibility of his actions. That is what being a parent is all about.

 

[*~Aimee~*]

I do not quite understand this question....I hope it does not mean anything bad about teenage pregnancy because that just gripes at me BIG time when I hear about how bad teen mother's are.

I was 13 when I got pregnant and had Jess when I was 14. I have 3 kids all with same daddy (only man I have ever been with) and I am a RN. So I completed college. I would like to think my children are raised to the best of my abilities and I do take pride in knowing they can all survive in this world (esp now days)

So please if this is not how this question is aimed do tell me what you mean,:waitasec:​

 

[elfie]

I do not quite understand this question....I hope it does not mean anything bad about teenage pregnancy because that just gripes at me BIG time when I hear about how bad teen mother's are.

I was 13 when I got pregnant and had Jess when I was 14. I have 3 kids all with same daddy (only man I have ever been with) and I am a RN. So I completed college. I would like to think my children are raised to the best of my abilities and I do take pride in knowing they can all survive in this world (esp now days)

So please if this is not how this question is aimed do tell me what you mean,:waitasec:​

Congratulations and great work! That is truly an accomplishment and you should be very proud.

My understanding of the poll question was to determine which age group would be more or less sympathetic based on people's ages & their own experience with having children or children and grandchildren. (If this was not the question you were referencing please disregard).

I'm over 40 with grown children. I voted for No charges.

 

[NancyT]

I really wasn't sure how to vote, so I opted for no charges based on what I know right at this very minute. If it can be shown that they knew Caylee was dead, where her body was, and that they helped in a cover-up to protect their daughter, I wouldn't hesitate to change my mind.

If however, they just turned over the wrong hairbrush, didn't tell everything they knew, etc... along these lines, I wouldn't want them prosecuted. I would want them to tell all they knew in some sort of immunity deal.

I am 42 with a 17 and 18 year old.