Emotions regarding case...

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I think the reason I am here is because I need someone else's drama in my life atm...

Watching this unfold helps me with my own grief somehow.

This makes complete sense to me. I'm so very sorry for what happened in your life. I'm also so glad you're here. Welcome to WS and thank you for joining in the discussions.

Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[Lady Loves Lurking]

As I sit here typing and breastfeeding my 3 month old son, I wonder myself why I am *sucked in* to this case. I heard about it on NG weeks ago. I personally hate NG and was just channel surfing when I heard about the case. Caylee looks ever so much like my own precious 3 & 1/2 year old daughter. I have always been interested in forensic science, and this case has struck a chord with me.

I think the reason I am here is because I need someone else's drama in my life atm. I lost my 1st son last year to sids, he wasn't even 6 weeks old yet. My b-day was 4 days after he died. I turned 31 in 2007. but the way my brain worked, I just turned 31 this year, if that makes sense. I lost a birthin Galveston. I was terribly moved by Riley, but didn't join any sites I just kept reading about her wherever I could. First post here, I joined like others to say something, then backed off because someone else posted my thoughts already.

Watching this unfold helps me with my own grief somehow.

i have no idea how to "sniP."

I'm sorry if i'm clumsy. i'm still breastfeeding my son. he's fixing to turn six months and we're planning a ceremony here in our natural spring. i feed him and watch nancy grace and i am a card-carrying NG_Hater.

still.
i read here. i make this clucking sound as i perfect his latch.

and i pray for her.

 

[soyesterday]

I've never followed any cases before. This is new to me. I'm sucked in and emotionally attached.

Like I said...my daughters birthday is the same as Caylees. My friends/family thought I was crazy, but I put an extra candle on my daughters cake and let a cinderalla balloon go "for" Caylee.

Awww that is so sweet.
It seems that most people think it's easier to not think about a story like this unless you are directly involved with it.
I'm not sure that i'm right when i say this, but i usually tell them that we can ignore it all if we want, but this is someone's reality, and they need our help...our thoughts, our prayers, etc....
I think they are worth thinking about and praying about.
How can we not get emotionally involved.
Especially being moms.
If anything, it makes you appreciate the things and the people you have.
It's so hard not to get emotionally attached.
I think my first major one was Denise Amber Lee.
That story is unbelievably sad and i honestly don't know how they go on.....
Come home sweet Caylee...
we all want you home....

 

[Reannan]

Watching this unfold helps me with my own grief somehow.

Welcome to WS's xdaten! You are definitely welcome, and I am sorry for your loss. I do hope that being involved here with us will continue to help you find closure in your own situation. For me, personaly, it is helpful to know that there is still goodness in the world, and WS's is one of the best examples of that I have ever encountered. :blowkiss:

 

[SimplyComplicated]

I find myself on this board more than I can admit. I have always followed true crime stories. Never ever to this extent. I cried when I read Small Sacrifices and watched the movie. I hurt when I thought of S. Smith's two young boys and how terrified they were. So many.

Nothing has captured my heart and mind like Caylee. I found this board and I felt like I was in a place where finally someone would understand. I feel like I am going through withdrawals and need to soak up every piece of information I can. I look at her pictures, watch the videos and I cry. I have had more sleepless nights than I can count, reading some but mostly thinking of Caylee. Wondering how a "mother" can do this to their child.

Nothing you can say can convince me this was an accident. There are two many facts screaming otherwise. IMO this is murder, maybe a crime of passion, maybe thought out. Murder non the less.

Oh I know the "facts" My mind tells me she is gone, no longer with us. My heart sees that little girl and it screams and begs for a miracle to occur. For them to find a living breathing Caylee. I would give so much.

I'm a single mother. Two wonderful children. A daughter almost 11 and a son almost 12. My pride and joy in life. Sure I get frustrated, stressed. EVERY parent does. I don't have the support of my family KC did. I had my son when I was 19 and my daughter a year later.

I catch myself now, realizing how precious every single minute of their lives are. I have always been a bit of an overprotective mother. I know it's worse now. I wouldn't be able to sit quiet for one minute, let alone 31 DAYS, if one of my children were missing. I would go to the ends of the earth screaming EVERYTHING I knew to get them back. THAT is how a parent reacts. They protect their children.

I think of the 20/20 interview. One of KC's "defense team" said something along the lines of "it will all be played out in court, where it counts" OMG I wanted to smash the TV. IT COUNTS RIGHT NOW. It counts THIS SECOND for Caylee.

His words, displayed KC's attitude. KC 1st and only here. Selfish to the end.

Tonight I read about the search being called off, possibly because of something found. I am fighting now to not get my hopes up. I have been crying for hours. I hope and pray that Caylee feels the love of everyone on WS. I know that I have never seen so much hope and love for a child, as I have here. I respect each of you and admire your tireless dedication. Your ability to be open, and even have a laugh or two when it feels like you will crumble.

I am sorry for the rambling post, and hope it's not in the wrong place. I want to thank you for making me feel at home, finally with people who understand what it's like to just open your heart and care.

Caylee, we will never stop hoping and praying and loving you. There is enough love for you across this nation and across the world to keep you safe and warm forever. You are not alone Caylee. You will have your justice.

 

[Ocean Lover]

I am new at following cases like this online and I'm finding it more and more difficult to read and post tonight after spending the day with my grandaughter at our family reunion. I found myself looking at pictures of Caylee and they remind me of my grandaughter and before I knew it I had tears and a lump in my throat. I have to get off of here for tonight. I think about this case day and night. I hope she comes home soon.

 

[RasGirl26]

Since day one of Caylees disappearence it has consumed my life. I check the computer dozens of times a day I think about her constantly and can't wait to see any breaking news. I can't help but wonder if she is found and laid to rest how life could be normal again. No more web cam camping, or news channel hopping. It seems as though a resolution is just days or even hours away and as the clock ticks the butterflies in my stomach multiply. I will be happy but also at a loss for how to resume life as normal, and what was life as normal. It is amazing how this has affected me but really what will you do when this is all over??????

 

[Nedthan Johns]

The same thing I did after the van Dam case, Runion and Smart case, go back to discussing the Ramsey case. The case that started all this on line discussions on murdered and missing children. Anything to keep cases alive and the discussion going. You never know when one person is going to hold the key to helping to put someone away for murder. I was very proud the vanDam case was the first of it's kind where the prosecutors actually thanked forum members. That is what websleuths is all about.

 

[Diamond]

In response to "What Will We Do" (merged thread)

There is always missing children and adults who could use our help. Many cases don't get the news and attention this case got. Just a thought...

One thing is for sure, it will be bittersweet for me. It will be nice to have closure...but that's also when it will completely sink in for me. (I don't think it's fully hit me yet.)

 

[cacnotcam]

I am attached to this case. For sure. Why? Well, I have a three year old daughter, first of all...Second, I do not like the general role as a "mom." I love my kids but at the same time I like to "go out" and do my thing. Based on that, and past experiences, I cannot fathom EVER hurting my children for person gain. I am not the most emotionally stable person....BUT I would never put my children at risk. I feel odd saying it.....(The part about me being emotionally unstable) but from my eyes...I hate being at home. I hate being a "stay ay home mom." BUT I have a "real" babysitter and cannot even come to grips with doing anything to my kids just to have mu "old life" back." Yeah. I miss it, but you can bet that I would also lay my life on the line for my kids.

 

[SmileyAmy]

Thanks everyone for your responses...good to know I'm not alone in my emotions.

 

[Misfit76]

I have some things to get out and I guess this would be the place to do it.

I feel that my life has been put on hold for the last month and a half, or however long its been. (started following this case a few days after it broke the news) I feel that I have sunk into a deep depression over this and I feel...almost rediculous, guilty and basically confused. Ive never been so emotionally attached to someone I did not know in real life, and I feel silly when I stop to think about it.

Im a mom of a (almost)2 year old boy. He is my life, my breath, my purpose, he is my world. Having him changed me, I never got into cases like this before I was a mom. Its like a switch was flipped once I gave birth, that automatically connected my heart to every child out there in the world that is suffering in any way. Very hard to explain so forgive me if I am not making sense. Hopefully someone out there knows what Im trying to say. There was a case recently local to me where a boy my sons age was being physically and sexually abused by his own father. Thankfully he was taken out of that situation and his father is going to prison. But for weeks after I heard of this, I would read the paper everyday looking for updates to the case and would sob everytime I changed my sons diapers and everytime I hugged him close because I would think of that little boy. I still think about him every few days or so and wonder if hes in a good home and if hes recovered, and if hes being loved and taken good care of.

Anyhow, I wish I could understand why I have become so obsessed with Caylee's story. Its completely unhealthy and not normal and I wish I could get some relief. I am so embarassed to admit this but I need to get it out since its eating away at me. I have no one else to talk to that would understand. I found this site because we were discussing this case on my mom site that I frequent and someone had this site linked so I checked it, started reading and eventually signed up.

What I want to say is... every day for the last several weeks I have felt like a shell, just drudging thru the days and nights, sort of in a fog of despair. My life literally revolves around this case. I lay awake not being able to sleep and just think about Caylee and begging God to bring her 'home', trying to make sense of something that doesnt. I get up, shower, take care of my son till its time for his nap, and I dont get on the pc at all when hes awake so I think about her all day long. Then once he takes his nap, I immediately get on the pc and come here and read or watch tv for news. After he gets up, I spend my time with him till he goes to bed, then I got right back on this website. (all while also having the cam pages or Florida news sites up) Everything I used to do as hobbies or things that interest me have completely been pushed to the wayside, Ive lost all interest in them and have no motivation to participate. (I make sigs for people at a sig design site, do photo editing, belong to an online mommy group and also am a world of warcraft gamer) I havent been able to do any of these things because I cant take myself away from this site. I know I have neglected my husband and rarely spend anytime with him since this story came out. I look at my son and feel like I cant breathe if I even think about something happening to him, I cant fathom being away from him for one day, let alone months as Casey has been away from her daughter. My stomach is sick all day long, and theres times I think Im going to throw up. Its hard for me to see pics of Caylee because it makes me want to cry. There is so much pain in my heart for her and for what she mustve went thru that I cant bear it. It doesnt help that my husband thinks its strange and has made comments to me about it and doesnt understand why I am so obsessed with this case or why I come here so much. I do have mild OCD so that could play a part, but I almost feel like a freak, or weird, for caring so much. I cant begin to tell you how much I want her to be found, I want her to be at rest, and I want this to end, I want my life back and I want to feel normal again but I dont know how to make that happen.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and thank you for letting me get this out. I am so consumed by this and feel so embarassed by that.

 

[Reannan]

I have some things to get out and I guess this would be the place to do it.

I feel that my life has been put on hold for the last month and a half, or however long its been. (started following this case a few days after it broke the news) ......Very hard to explain so forgive me if I am not making sense. Hopefully someone out there knows what Im trying to say.

Hey Misfit - guess what? You are NOT a Misfit, and those of us here know EXACTLY what you are trying to say. :blowkiss: There have been numerous cases in the past where I have felt the way you do. Heck, I even obsess on cold cases! :crazy: My family thinks I am odd, and they just don't understand it. I don't try to explain it anymore to them, because you either get it, or you don't. Here is what I do when I get too caught up in a case: 1). Do something special with your family. Maybe a weekend trip somewhere - or at least an afternoon picnic or trip to the arcade. It sounds like you are already making the effort to stay in touch with your family, so you are already doing the right thing. 2). Just take a deep breath - in fact, take several - listen to some relaxing music, go outside by yourself and look at the stars, the sunset, the sunrise. 3) Remember it is OK to cry and feel sad - that is NOT a bad thing, but you also have to remember that your anguish will not help Caylee. I DO believe that our prayers, efforts, thoughts, and sheer determination to keep a case alive has an impact on the outcome of cases. You can lose focus when you are overcome with emotion, however. In other words, you have to be strong enough to fight this battle. You already have demonstrated that you have what it takes, and you have us for support. There is nothing wrong with you - you are a good person with a good heart, who is watching a tragic event unfold. You did not cause it and you cannot undo it. You CAN continue helping us, but only if you have taken care of yourself. Get some rest, say your prayers, watch the sunet and know that the world goes on, and it is as it should be. I believe Caylee is "on the other side" now, and is not suffering. I also believe she understands the purpose for what has happened and we will probably not understand the purpose until we are also "on the other side". There is a battle between good and evil in this world.....thanks for being a soldier with us.

 

[AliVada]

Emotions are what bring me here.

In 1980 I lost a friend to murder in Orange County NY. After attending her trial and knowing the pain from a loss like this ... there is really no turning back ever. There is no logic, there is no closure. I feel a kinship towards most of the families we discuss, sleuth and care about here.

I wish I had known then what changes were coming in forensics. My friend was treated very much like Tim Miller's case ... "oh its the age, she'll show up soon mom and dad, she's probably out with a new boyfriend". We will catagorize her as a missing person, but we won't be wasting our man power looking for her. It was horrible. I remember our searching almost alone armed only with a golf club, against evil we couldn't understand.

So since that time, I have always been a supporter of families who have lost loved ones. Always been a big victims advocate. I am one who really wants to see justice and our system of punishment work to protect us and criminals pay for their crimes.

When courttv came about, I was a watcher and have followed most national cases and many local since that time. It is a tragedy that so many do not get the attention that could help find them and prosecute the responsible party. We continue to get better, though so do many of the criminals.

This case is especially sad as more than likely it was the person who was supposed to love and nurtur this child the most who has done something to cause her harm. Once everything shakes out, if she is gone and her mother had some hand in it .. let her fry. I am glad God is final judge as I would not be so kind. He only knows what horrows or mental illness could cause someone to do such things, and hopefully he will heal this whole family as they are hurting and so very lost.

Kathy

 

[Misfit76]

Reannan, thank you so much for your post, it means alot. You are right, I do need to step back a bit and try to do something relaxing and get my mind off it for awhile, that would be nice. I have been holding back tears for quite some time now, almost saving a good cry for the 'right' time, whenever that will be. And also whenever I do start to cry I hold it back because I start to feel silly and worry that my husband is going to make a comment to make me feel even stupider. Maybe I need to let go and get it out, in private. I cant help this sadness so why do I keep fighting it and holding it in, ya know? Anyways, just wanted to say thank you.

 

[tiredofthis]

My first son was born when I was 21. I was sad, because I couldn't go out and party with my friends, but I never considered drugging or harming my child just so I could go out and have fun.

That is why I am so frustrated with this case. It doesn't even begin to make sense. No normal parent would wait 31 days to report their child missing and then tell a bunch of lies about what had happened to her.

I am the mother of four sons now and I love them all dearly. I can't imagine what my life would be like without them in it and my heart breaks when I read about this case. Casey's lack of emotion has me in tears on a daily basis.

 

[CiCi]

Last night, I woke up several times at night thinking about this tragedy. I have even dreamt about it several times. I find myself on various sites during the day catching up on the latest news about this precious baby girl Caylee. In the evenings, I tune in to Nancy Grace to be updated on anything I may have missed during the day.

It's obvious I'm not the only one emotionally invested in this tragedy. We are all seeking answers, justice and closure.

I ask myself what can be accomplished by all of this? So much of my energy goes into this, and yet there is little that I can do to help. The facts show that this baby girl may no longer be alive and they point to her mother as the responsible party, but my heart does not want to accept this as truth. I think of theories and follow blogs about what others are suspecting, and try to piece it all together in my head. But what good will this do? None, I certainly don’t think that I can stumble upon some piece of evidence.

Some have even went as far as protesting the Anthonys, although I am not exactly sure what can be accomplished by this other than venting. Maybe they think they can actually make some type of change. I don’t know. I watch the clips on TV of the woman yelling at Cindy about why she said certain things and I ponder what this will accomplish, does she honestly think that she will provide her an answer?

This tragedy has caused a huge reaction in so many people. WHY can’t we let go of this? Do we fear that justice may not be served in this case? Maybe we, our society as a whole, no longer trusts our justice system to make things right. Maybe we have been smacked in the face too many times by media reports of its failures. Of course, the only things worth reporting, it seems are always negative. So we build our opinion of the whole based on these reports. On the other hand, maybe we are looking for assurance that our justice system is working as it should. We believe that the guilty will be punished. In fact, we long to see this happen in this particular case. What will happen if LE fails to find Caylee or our courts fail to convict a guilty party of a crime that may have occurred to this baby. Will that be an acceptable end for you?

What are your thoughts as to why you/we are emotionally invested in this case as an individual, and as a society?

 

[Betty Boop]

I am a strong advocate for abused children and adults who were abused as children. Murder of a child is the ultimate form of abuse. Silenced forever by their perpetrators. It hits at the core of me.

 

[Baznme]

I had a friend specifially say that me doing that stuff was "over the top".

That's no friend in my estimation. It was a kind compassionate thing to do and I commend you for remembering this little girl.

 

[passionflower]

This is the most bizarre case I've ever followed. As a mother and grandma, I can't even imagine this happening in my family. I would be in jail for beating my daughter til she talked! And I don't believe in any violence or abuse at all. My grandchildren are my life, I would be on the streets BEGGING for help to find one of mine. I'd be asking the protesters to help me 'find CAYLEE'...........put Casey back in jail til she sings! I love my kids but would never lie for them in a crime. IMO, the truth has to come out.......LE and the town should charge Casey with the time and money spent in this run around she caused!!! IMO, her parents also, hendering the search and cove up. IMO