Family wants to keep life support for girl brain dead after tonsil surgery #2

[seattlechiquita]

Donations have now surpassed 25K.

 

[SophieRose]

Someone earlier posted a site on brain death and there were a few comments by readers at the end. One poster said that it took about 45 minutes before their loved one's heart finally stopped after being taken off the ventilator.

 

[Elley Mae]

Dolan also noted that the family is very grateful for the efforts of hospital staff, and that they are angry only with the decisions being made by top hospital administrators.


12/20/2013 05:51:07 AM PST
http://www.insidebayarea.com/news/ci_24761285/oakland-family-brain-dead-13-year-old-girl

 

[Sonya610]

Honestly I don't think the donated funds should even BE an issue. It isn't like they made up the story about a sick child, folks that donated could have weighed the situation themselves.

I don't think anyone should complain about them doing whatever they want with the money.

 

[K_Z]

You are correct. My post should have said " disconnected her ETT from the ventilator and disconnected IV fluids and any other tubes connected to devices".

I am so sorry for this lapse in wording on my part. I've stayed with families and the body until the funeral home or coroner has come for the body. In some ways, it was very healing for me to be able to give them a measure of final comfort and to say my final good-byes to them as well. Due to the fact that she has probably not had her hair washed ( not sure because of the EEG pad gel) the family may wait until the body has been released by the M.E. and prepared at the funeral home before they take a lock of hair. I hope the M.E.'s office is respectful of the family with the act of removing the body from the hospital.
This makes me cry, it breaks my heart, the whole situation is and has been so very sad from the beginning.

BBM. I hope so, too. I guess I'm really worried that there could be a demonstration outside the hospital, like the ones that gather for executions. Or interference with the body removal from the hospital. I really hope all is quiet.

My heart breaks for Jahi's siblings, who have to deal with the confusion of all of the differing opinions about what their family is doing, and the media involvement. Those kids will need access to some good counselors over the next year or so, to process what has happened. And regain some trust in the medical profession-- can you imagine how terrified those kids might be if they needed emergency surgery? Or elective surgery?

 

[Elley Mae]

Dolan and family members met with hospital officials Thursday evening to request that Jahi be kept on the ventilator at least until after the holidays, a request administrators would not agree to honor. Jahi was declared brain dead on Dec. 12, after complications from a Dec. 9 tonsil surgery.


bbm, this is snipped from the above link I posted. (63)

By this I am thinking there will not be a disturbance if you will.

 

[Softail]

BBM. I hope so, too. I guess I'm really worried that there could be a demonstration outside the hospital, like the ones that gather for executions. Or interference with the body removal from the hospital. I really hope all is quiet.
My heart breaks for Jahi's siblings, who have to deal with the confusion of all of the differing opinions about what their family is doing, and the media involvement. Those kids will need access to some good counselors over the next year or so, to process what has happened. And regain some trust in the medical profession-- can you imagine how terrified those kids might be if they needed emergency surgery? Or elective surgery?

I hope all is quiet too. I've seen some pretty sick and ugly things on twitter today about this. I hope those people all stay home. Let this be peaceful for everyone.

 

[Indianagirl]

Honestly I don't think the donated funds should even BE an issue. It isn't like they made up the story about a sick child, folks that donated could have weighed the situation themselves.

I don't think anyone should complain about them doing whatever they want with the money.

Thank you for saying this, I couldn't agree more! This family is going through so much, who cares what they do with the money to get through their time of grief. Obviously the family hasn't been working lately and there are other children.....IMO, everyone that has donated is well aware of the progressing situation, as all of us here are, and I seriously doubt any of them feel taken advantage of.

 

[princesspjs]

Honestly I don't think the donated funds should even BE an issue. It isn't like they made up the story about a sick child, folks that donated could have weighed the situation themselves.

I don't think anyone should complain about them doing whatever they want with the money.

In all likelihood there will be a funeral and burial in the near future and I am sure those funds will be needed for that expense.

 

[seattlechiquita]

Honestly I don't think the donated funds should even BE an issue. It isn't like they made up the story about a sick child, folks that donated could have weighed the situation themselves.

I don't think anyone should complain about them doing whatever they want with the money.

I am not complaining, but I am curious. And that is perfectly ok.

 

[Herding Cats]

My heartfelt prayers are with everyone - family, friends, Drs and RNs and techs...everyone has been affected by this situation, everyone. Even for us...as I know we will grieve her final death.

From 4 pm to 5 pm, PST (7-8 pm EST), I will be doing a prayer hour. I will recite a rosary without ceasing for that entire hour, asking for God's mercy to be with this family as they approach the Valley of the Shadow of Death...and for God to make it clear He walks with them, and with all those who are there.

I invite you all to say a prayer for Jahi during that hour, or at any time; I'm a firm believer in prayer, and in singing someone to their final destination with prayer. This is a site I go to when I feel the need to pray with "others", and it's free with no subscriptions or anything:
http://www.comepraytherosary.org/

And I will also say a Divine Mercy Chaplet, as well. For Jahi, for her family and for everyone.

Hugs to all of us, and hugs to everyone who is experiencing grief right now.

Be blessed, everyone. Your hearts are gloriously huge, and that's why this hurts.

:hug:

Best-
Herding Cats

 

[K_Z]

I'd like to share a story that might be comforting to some.

When I was a young ICU nurse, on a number of occasions we had DNR patients on ventilators. One of the docs early in my career (he was a fabulous teacher) told me to watch the cardiac monitor carefully as the patient's hearts began to enter their terminal rhythms.

We had several indigent patients, with no family to sit with them as they died. The gift those patients gave to me was the gift of the knowledge of what the heart does as it dies-- the rhythms it goes thru, until the electrical activity stops. Usually, we are rushing around coding these patients who enter terminal rhythms. In this circumstance, I was privileged to watch and learn, and that knowledge has benefitted hundreds, if not thousands of the patients I have care for since then. The gift of watching their hearts finish has made me a better professional, and taught me signs to look for in my living patients BEFORE they coded.

Every so often I mentally thank those souls for that gift to me, the privilege of helping them and being with them thru the end of their existence, and the gift of knowledge they gave to me for my future patients, in their last moments.

 

[fruity]

Simply curious here too. I am in no way suggesting that the family knowingly misappropriated funds. Not at all. They truly believe in their fight. My problem lies with the legal advice they have received. I have seen a few things where I believe they haven't been fully informed by their lawyer and the fundraising issue is one of them.

 

[Nana46]

I'd like to share a story that might be comforting to some.

When I was a young ICU nurse, on a number of occasions we had DNR patients on ventilators. One of the docs early in my career (he was a fabulous teacher) told me to watch the cardiac monitor carefully as the patient's hearts began to enter their terminal rhythms.

We had several indigent patients, with no family to sit with them as they died. The gift those patients gave to me was the gift of the knowledge of what the heart does as it dies-- the rhythms it goes thru, until the electrical activity stops. Usually, we are rushing around coding these patients who enter terminal rhythms. In this circumstance, I was privileged to watch and learn, and that knowledge has benefitted hundreds, if not thousands of the patients I have care for since then. The gift of watching their hearts finish has made me a better professional, and taught me signs to look for in my living patients BEFORE they coded.

Every so often I mentally thank those souls for that gift to me, the privilege of helping them and being with them thru the end of their existence, and the gift of knowledge they gave to me for my future patients, in their last moments.

Thank you for such a beautiful post!

 

[fruity]

Honestly I don't think the donated funds should even BE an issue. It isn't like they made up the story about a sick child, folks that donated could have weighed the situation themselves.

I don't think anyone should complain about them doing whatever they want with the money.

I disagree here. I believe that it sets a really slippery slope if someone asks for donations for a specific cause but is then allowed to use the funds for something different. Moo.

 

[SeekingJana]

My heartfelt prayers are with everyone - family, friends, Drs and RNs and techs...everyone has been affected by this situation, everyone. Even for us...as I know we will grieve her final death.

From 4 pm to 5 pm, PST (7-8 pm EST), I will be doing a prayer hour. I will recite a rosary without ceasing for that entire hour, asking for God's mercy to be with this family as they approach the Valley of the Shadow of Death...and for God to make it clear He walks with them, and with all those who are there.

I invite you all to say a prayer for Jahi during that hour, or at any time; I'm a firm believer in prayer, and in singing someone to their final destination with prayer. This is a site I go to when I feel the need to pray with "others", and it's free with no subscriptions or anything:
http://www.comepraytherosary.org/

And I will also say a Divine Mercy Chaplet, as well. For Jahi, for her family and for everyone.

Hugs to all of us, and hugs to everyone who is experiencing grief right now.

Be blessed, everyone. Your hearts are gloriously huge, and that's why this hurts.

:hug:

Best-
Herding Cats

Herding Cats, thank you for this link. I am not Catholic but will join you since there are online prayers for those of us who do not know the liturgy.

This is the least, and probably also the most we can do for Jahi and her family and little friends, the hospital staff, especially the nurses who have provided bedside care for her amidst great emotions.
I hope you get to be a nurse soon.

 

[Kaliste]

It's just about 3pm here PST. Only a few more hours now. I'll be sitting here and reading along with you all this afternoon. It's so comforting to be surrounded by so many "e-friends" during this time.

My thoughts and prayers are with Jahis caretakers, family and school friends. I wish them all peace.

 

[seattlechiquita]

It's just about 3pm here PST. Only a few more hours now. I'll be sitting here and reading along with you all this afternoon. It's so comforting to be surrounded by so many "e-friends" during this time.

My thoughts and prayers are with Jahis caretakers, family and school friends. I wish them all peace.

I might be in transit at that time, but my love and prayers will be with you all.

 

[Cubby]

I don't think the staff at the hospital would ever use forceful means to do anything. They aren't " thugs", they are health care professionals.

If anything unusual happens, I wonder if there will be L.E. intervention to permit the ventilator to be turned off and the ETT tube and all other lines and tubes removed? I have never seen a situation which required the police's presence for intervention to be undertaken at a hospital bedside, but this could be the exception. I don't know, none of us do.

I also do not know who, among the hospital staff, would be the designated person to stop the life support. I personally would refuse, being aware of the family's wishes. Maybe the Chief of Surgery or another doctor in administrative capacity would be designated to minimize the liability to other staff members.

This is a very tragic outcome for Jahi, and has been for some time. I've never known of another situation such as this is all my life. Maybe there have been and I wasn't paying attention, but the photos of her make it so easy to connect with the type of girl I imagine she was. Smiling, happy, maybe a bit shy.. with hopes and dreams, now gone with her. I can't look at her photos without tears. Her life was hers, not her family's, and it's gone.

why would there be any liability for hospital staff with the removal of the ventilator when the removal has been court ordered?

 

[Sonya610]

I disagree here. I believe that it sets a really slippery slope if someone asks for donations for a specific cause but is then allowed to use the funds for something different. Moo.

Hate to break it to you but those "" type sites are more than slippery already.