. oceanblueeyes a 'thanks' was not enough, I totally understand what you have been through, maybe to a lesser degree but been there done that wore the teeshirt . IF I knew how to do a group hug I would but not been on long enough to work everything out, however completely agree about its what you become afterwards I just cannot and don't think I want to understand what happens in these sick peoples minds. And like you my heart goes out to all abused children out there, wish I could save all of them.I honestly think it isn't totally understandable to others who have not suffered for sexual abuse as a child. It is one of those horrible things in life where to fully understand it a person has to live it and I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone. It is not a club that anyone wants to ever be in yet millions are.
There are so many complexities to it and each is different for each child who has been abused and suffered through it.....sometimes for many agonizing years.
I lived in the home with my abuser who had total control over the household. I hated every moment of it but I was helpless to do anything about it and I was constantly fearful of what would happen to me if his dirty little secret became known. So I protected it for I felt that was the only way I could survive. I felt 'I' was the one who would be in more danger if his secret came out............not him. He had brainwashed me from the age of 5 that no one would believe me nor would they help me even if they knew. I believed everything he said even when he told me he would kill me if I told. This torment lasted until I was almost 16. At times he would be very caring even buying me something special but in the end it was to silently tell me he was pleased how I had protected his secret. There is constant manipulation being played by the adult.
However; not all pedophiles rule by instilling paralyzing fear in their victim. Many, especially who aren't living with the victim or is no kin to them will slowly manipulate the victim by giving them special attention or showering them with gifts. Contrary to belief pedophiles don't act like monsters but to snare their prey they can be exceedingly kind giving special attention to the child. It reminds me of how a fly gets caught in the web of a spider. They don't immediately rush to kill the fly. They wait patiently for the fly to become completely trapped in their web before they react. That is what JG did to Diana.
Every child wants to feel loved and special so due to their naïve immaturity they begin to think the person genuinely cares about them. The grooming of someone like Diana is done slowly for the goal is to have the victim to fully trust them. Once that happens the child is confused but thinks by then if the predator says they 'love them' (gag) then what they are doing to the victim must be right in the child's very immature mind. Small children Diana's age are still very trusting of adults. Some simply don't question because they feel the adult knows what is right and wrong and they accept that. Of course they are right, the adult knows this is wrong, but they convince the child what is happening is right.
As I said it is such a complex issue its hard to explain for every child who has been abused was in their own situation at the time. There is no 'box' to put all children who have been abused to come out with one answer fits all. Children can even love their abuser if they are a parent because they have been taught no matter what they are to love their parents. Its such a mental puzzle for the children to go through while never quite understanding what is happening to them fully until they are away from their abuser once they become grown. Like I have said many times here, I never told a soul about the horrors I suffered at the hands of my father until I was 38 years old.
An abused child will often want to blame themselves somehow as if it was their fault. It is humiliating and they feel such shame Its only when they become adult survivors that they fully understand why everything happened the way it did and it was no fault of the abused child whatsoever. Until then they wrestle with so many emotions. That is why many who have been sexually abused as a child turns to alcohol or drugs to numb the pain inside especially if they have held this dark secret inside for years and never told anyone. I was one of the fortunate and didn't turn to either. I was determined to overcome the childhood of my past and made sure the journey I traveled since then was a much different life than the one I had once lived. I was not going to let it define who I became when I reach adulthood and thank God with His help I was able to achieve those goals beyond my greatest expectations.
It isn't the past which defines a person no matter how horrible that past may have been. It is the journey walked through life after then that defines who we will become and are.
God bless all of the little abused children still out there dealing with their own abusive nightmare. May help come to all of them who cries out in the night.
FL FL - AMBER ALERT: Diana Alvares, 9, Fort Myers, 29 May 2016 #3
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Jo in Calif
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Someone needs to bring over latest article from wink news, on my phone, scarie intresting from JG ex.
Paulas88
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Lava
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And she broke up with him a year ago? This has been going on longer than I thought
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steelman
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http://www.winknews.com/2016/06/10/...issing-9-year-old-person-of-interest-in-case/
Nothing disturbing about this.......right ? Maybe this is part of the reason I was so surprised she wasn't found with him.
Jo in Calif
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I think that might be wrong, more like she started going with him a year ago and just broke up around Feb.
oceanblueeyes
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I really hate to read articles that infers Diana was a grownup who can make such decisions.
If she was this way about JG and if he did not want her to be this way around him he could have 1) moved out or 2) gone directly to her mother to tell her she needed to talk to Diana about her inappropriate feelings for him. He did NEITHER!!!!!! He did not go to her mom who certainly would have done something about it then and there nor did he move out. He was forced to leave and HE IS THE ONE who came back, and abducted little Diana who is now missing and cant be found. So HE was the obsessive one.
If Diana felt this way this is the way he groomed her to feel about him.
B@%*#!IMO
Lava
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That's what I thought from FB but that isn't what the article said
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That little girl was infatuated with him, and instead of doing the "adult" thing and being a little amused by it, he took complete advantage of her.
I have little doubt she went willingly with him early that morning. What I don't understand is why he felt it was necessary to make her "disappear", for lack of a better word at this point.
I have little doubt she went willingly with him early that morning. What I don't understand is why he felt it was necessary to make her "disappear", for lack of a better word at this point.
Jo in Calif
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I know it's not what the article said but we all know how that goes.
I really hate to read articles that infers Diana was a grownup who can make such decisions.
If she was this way about JG and if he did not want her to be this way around him he could have 1) moved out or 2) gone directly to her mother to tell her she needed to talk to Diana about her inappropriate feelings for him. He did NEITHER!!!!!! He did not go to her mom who certainly would have done something about it then and there nor did he move out. He was forced to leave and HE IS THE ONE who came back, and abducted little Diana who is now missing and cant be found.
If Diana felt this way this is the way he groomed her to feel about him.
IMO
I agree, Diana is neither an adolescent or an adult, just a child. She can't be held responsible for what a grown man might have done to her. I say "might", because no evidence has come out yet that JG has done anything to Diana yet. He is being held on charges of having child *advertiser censored* on his phone for which he is yet to be indicted for.
I don't know if i necessarily believe what JG's ex g/friend says about the biting incident, maybe just getting her 5 minutes worth, who knows?
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With the passage of time I do believe they will charge him with abduction and murder especially if they cant locate her body. They knew much more than we thought they knew even before they arrested him and by now I believe they have amassed even more evidence against him concerning little Diana. They can already place him in the area of her home during the hours she was taken.
I am wondering if his girlfriend already knew this then why in the world didn't she tell at least Diana's mom or even go to the police after they broke up. I cant comprehend someone knowing an adult 28 year old man is having an inappropriate relationship with a 8 or 9 year old and does nothing about it.
IMO
oceanblueeyes
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That is why I feel he hadn't raped her up to that point. Once she felt insurmountable pain things could change very quickly and her attitude against him very likely could change. Rape of a little 9 year old would be far different than fondling or molesting. The only way he could complete what he all along had wanted to do was to abduct her where he had her alone, and defenseless if she put up a fight, and decided she wanted to go home back to her mother.
I think once he abducted her he did rape her and she may have even told him then she was going to tell her mother so he silenced her so she couldn't tell anyone. That is often the case when the pedophile abducts their victim. He knew he couldn't bring her back alive and he also knew they would be looking for her. I think once he raped her he then murdered her within a few short hours of taking her.
JMO though
Yes they probably will if there is more incriminating evidence against him. I don't know if they will charge him with murder yet, but they could probably charge him with abduction of Diana. Time will tell.
As to the girlfriend not telling anyone maybe she thought it was just a one sided thing on Diana's part that she had a crush on JG, and they could of even thought it was funny, of course with the girlfriend not knowing about the child *advertiser censored* pics on JG's phone and that side of him.
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I was thinking maybe the infatuation didn't begin until the "potential" or "alleged" physical contact took place. Her infatuation may not have begun until she gave in (I don't know what other word to use, because I will not say permit or allow) to his desires....which I am not saying took place because although we are pretty sure....we don't know that as a fact.
My boys used to say, "Mommy, I'm going to marry you when I grow up" when they didn't know better. I think it is normal for kids to feel that way about an adult in their life.
It is not normal for a grown man to infer to a child that the possibility exists and I assume he probably did. It makes me nauseated to think what he may have been telling her....
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So maybe he handed her off to someone promising to come back for her when the "heat" was off. Could that be why the parents also think she could be on AZ? Maybe he was going to just kidnap her and keep her away from her family.
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BBM, Yes children can come out with things like that about adults and it is cute because they are so innocent about it all. But no adult should ever take advantage of a child's innocent remarks and groom them for something abhorrent.
I think there is a possibility that he took and left Diana with someone else, but LE seem to be searching for remains, so i don't know?
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