For All The Mothers

[Mendara]

I have two children, a 15 year old boy who I had when I myself was 15, this boy is my mother's life line and mine as well, if I ever did anything to hurt him, she would beat the hell out of me and maybe never speak to me again. I have another son who is 13 months and my mother can't even stand to hear me utter the word "NO" to him.

So would my mother stand by me if I killed one of these boys - NO - she would die of a broken heart and take me with her.

 

[6thcents]

I have 3 grown girls and I would do anything for them, except protect from the perils of
a hell that they designed.My sister was murdered and now we are raising her children. I
don't think that a mother's bond is what we should be questioning,isn't it about
what is right?Children need to be protected,no matter what.Everyone is hurting but the one that deserves justice is the victims.

 

[awakewriter]

Part of good parenting, in my opinion, is letting your children accept responsibility for their actions.

 

[MAMABEAR]

I helped raise many kids and seen many different personalities.
Have thought about all this and decided to answer this way:

I gave birth to 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. I will tell you a couple of stories about my baby boy who is 37yo now. What a guy. He was the most hyper child I have ever seen. He was the one who got into the most trouble. When the school called I knew it was about my baby bear. No matter what he did----I still loved him. He was the type of kid that outsiders either loved to death or hated.

We had a teacher in the Elementary School who was charged with child molestation. Bear was 16 at this time and in High School but rode home on the bus with the Elementary kids. Lulu (17yo daughter) kept him in line when I wasn't around----she was his self-appointed Mother. LOL

The teacher had been in jail for a week and Bear decided to "MOON" the other teens when he got off the bus. WOW! Lulu ran home and told me. When Bear walked in I told him that I didn't think that was a very wise move and we sat down at the kitchen table. We talked and talked. Well, mostly it was me talking. LOL and Lulu "had" to sit in on it. We didn't have secrets in our family. We were big on "family meetings".

When all was said and done I added------"Now, if a daddy of any of these lil kids knocks on the door-----guess what????????" You will walk out and talk to him---he might bring the cops------he may want to kick your A$$." The phone rang and it was the Principle of the High School. He ask if I knew (because he knew me and my reactions)-----told him yup. he ask if I could come in the next morning and I said yes. Bear was ask to quit school. He got his GED and has a wonderful wife and kids. She is the perfect woman for him.

I took up for my kids if they were done wrongly and I made them face the consequences when they did wrong.

Once I jumped on the bus and made a male bus driver get off his butt and go to the back and get Bear's belt a kid jerked out of Bear's lap. He told me that it wasn't his job. HA! I ask him if he was the adult on the bus? "YES". Are you the driver of this bus--"yes". Then get off your butt and go get that belt or I will pull you off before I go get the belt. He did get up and got the belt. The Principle tore up the "pink slip" that the bus driver turned in. I also took up for my kids.

These are 2 stories. There are many, many more-----some not so bad and some way worse. I have a Bio-daughter I no longer lay eyes on. Never will. All I will say about that is that I feared for my life (in my sleep) and the lives of the 2 g/k I was raising from a different child. That is why we moved from Tex to Pa. Do I love her? Well! I guess I have to say no. If she knocked on my door------I wouldn't open it and would call the cops. If she called----I would hang up the phone. She stole my "unconditional love".

The A's should have "NEVER" let this get out of hand. I am "NOT" "The Mother Of The Year". I do consider myself the B!tch some think I am. Have been called that many times and answer----"Yes, and don't forgit it". But if you don't teach kids to face their consequences then you are doing them a huge injustice. God gave us precious babies to mold and to me the A's didn't "mold". They have to be taught about "choices". To me, if you don't teach them---who will?

I do treasure my babies. Me lil ole bald headed Bear still sits in he ole mama's lap. Didn't mean to write a book. Sorry!

 

[Marina2]

I have two children, a 15 year old boy who I had when I myself was 15, this boy is my mother's life line and mine as well, if I ever did anything to hurt him, she would beat the hell out of me and maybe never speak to me again. I have another son who is 13 months and my mother can't even stand to hear me utter the word "NO" to him.

So would my mother stand by me if I killed one of these boys - NO - she would die of a broken heart and take me with her.

Bold is mine.
But, your mother would have to accept that you were to blame for the child's death first. I don't think CA has done this. I think she places much of the blame on herself. It's wrong of her to think that way but I think that's her mindset right now. She doesn't want to see her daughter go down for something she feels partly to blame for. IMO

 

[MAMABEAR]

Oh----if I was in this mess------I would be the one in jail. Because I would have finished the chocking scene. LMFFAO

Grand Babies are the fruits from the seeds we plant.

 

[tfrohning]

I think from Shirley (cindy mother) that Cindy is very close to her mother and shirley loves Cindy. I myself have two daughter that I love deeply, My youngest daughter got a Casey personility after her son was born at that time she was 20 and we went round and round, I kicked her out and kept my grandson and than my son in law got custody. I stood by my son in law, because that what was best for my grandson, I felt my daughter was old enough to take care of herself but she was not going to put my grandson through her crazy life. that was four years ago and my daughter is growing up and regrets the pass. We talk alot and we seem to be closer, I would not stand by Casey if she killed my grandson, No Way, When Shirley told Casey that I love you but I don't like you, that I how felt with my daughter. MAybe if Casey came up with true accounts of what happen and it was true than maybe. Nobody will ever know the truth about that beautiful little girl.

 

[Short_Stuff]

Im a mom of 2 wonderful children and a grandmother of 3 wonderful girls. Sorry if KC was my daughter, she would have been questioned immediately no matter who heard me.
If she kept lying and would not fess up, and did what KC did to Caylee, she would be disowned and I would only be there (at court etc) for my granddaughters justice.
Well thats why my daughter and son wouldnt do this to begin with. My kids while like most kids were no angels. But when they did something wrong, they had reprocussions for their actions, and I did not enable them. And they were taught moral values.
KC was enabled and still is being enabled.
JMHO as always

 

[Mendara]

Bold is mine.
But, your mother would have to accept that you were to blame for the child's death first. I don't think CA has done this. I think she places much of the blame on herself. It's wrong of her to think that way but I think that's her mindset right now. She doesn't want to see her daughter go down for something she feels partly to blame for. IMO

CA feels like she herself failed as mother to KC and therefore KC killed her child because of this? See I don't see Cindy as the type of person that would say SHE herself was a bad mother. No one that has been interviewed ever said that Cindy told them she felt like she was making mistakes with KC or failed her. Cindy to me is not the type to put herself down. I think Cindy doesn't want to GIVE IN to the public pressure of having to ADMIT that her daughter is a murderer and a liar and SHE was her enabler.

I think that day will never come, because pride is a spiteful b8tch.

IMO

 

[Mendara]

Im a mom of 2 wonderful children and a grandmother of 3 wonderful girls. Sorry if KC was my daughter, she would have been questioned immediately no matter who heard me.
If she kept lying and would not fess up, and did what KC did to Caylee, she would be disowned and I would only be there (at court etc) for my granddaughters justice.
Well thats why my daughter and son wouldnt do this to begin with. My kids while like most kids were no angels. But when they did something wrong, they had reprocussions for their actions, and I did not enable them. And they were taught moral values.
KC was enabled and still is being enabled.
JMHO as always

You hit it right on the head. KC never had consequences, she never had learned lessons, she was never held responsible. Instead CA put bandages on and ESPECIALLY if the incidents were made known, she went to lengths to convince people her daughter's lies were true - as in with her mother SP - when KC stole from them, she was embarrassed and tried to convince SP that Casey was sorry and blah blah - and gave reasons.

Even when she became pregnant - CA told a room full of mourners that she took her with open arms and it was a happy day.

There is the CA you see in public and then there is the one in private who wants her family to SEEM perfect - to the point where she will cover up a crime. IMHO

 

[Woe.be.gone]

I pray to God in earnest that I will never have to find out how I would react if I were facing a similar situation.

My young teenage son has been asking me some weird questions lately like "If I were a Nazi, would you disown me?" So far I've answered him by saying things like "Are you being a shock jock? Why?" I asked him if he knows what he is saying and to explain what being a Nazi means to him. Then, of course, I tell him he'd be better off not finding out. By the way, he likes to ask me this stuff in front of his friends for their reaction (he thinks he's funny - ha, ha). He'll test me about race, gay issues, sexual diseases, etc. I tell him the facts - how you get herpes for instance, and say that if he does not do that, he will not "get" that. If he does do that and gets that, then he made that choice - he took that risk. What else can I do. I won't be with him when he makes his decisions. He yanks my chain and I try to turn it into a verbal lesson and not react to the shock factor.

With that said, I'm thinking were do kids get this stuff these days? The boys play war video games all the time. Not my cup of tea but I want him to be aware and skilled if he should ever have to face an enemy. Protecting kids from realty, imo, is not a service. Sweeping things under the rug is not a service. You do this (unprotected sex) and take your pick a, b, or c could happen. You do this (steal) and a, b, or c could happen. Are you willing that to your life, son? Why would you do that, son?

If he makes choices that are criminal, he has been advised that he will pay the piper. Momma cannot and will not be able to save him. So, son, realize your choices are yours alone and please, I beg of you, choose to make your mamma proud.

After reading the remarks on this thread, I thought of the perfect answer the next time I'm asked a questions such as "Mom will you still love me if I become a drug dealer?" My answer will be, "The question is, son, will you still love yourself."

 

[debbie0604]

I have two children (almost grown) and I am very close to them. I also do not believe in secrets in the family. I also feel that I know my children. I also know that my children don't "as a rule" lie, but that's not to say that they would "never lie", because all kids at some point will lie... but my kids have never had a problem with lying. So when my kids have gotten into trouble in the past, I've always known about it and taught them to take the consequences of their actions. I believe in teaching one to do that, however, once a child is grown they have already learned what a parent has taught and will do what they want. My philosophy is that if they decide to do something that they know is wrong, I'm not going to take up for them in any way. I will always love my children, no matter what... but I cannot condone their actions of a bad choice or decision that they have made that is wrong. My kids know this of me too because I have taught that to them. They know I have never made excuses for them when they were little and I won't start it now when they are almost grown.

I don't like to judge other parents even if it seems that their parenting skills were bad and that is why their child may have turned out the way they did. I will just say that from what I have seen from the way that CA talks and acts with KC - that definitely WOULD NOT be me with my child. NO WAY.

 

[Oakley]

I think the bond to my child would be stronger than any other bond to anyone (I apologize, I have no grand children, just what I think, I am SO close to my children) I would think that closeness would still be there in 20 years. I would like to say I would care more for their tiny baby, but I have honestly no clue if I would.I have never experienced it, and I won't lie. I love babies, and children, but how on earth would I know what I would do... I THINK I would care more for the unprotected tiny one, but I really do not know for sure. My love for my children are just endless.

I can say from my own experience, my love for my grand children is at least as strong as my love for my children. An analogy that comes to mind is compounded interest, if that makes sense. I read once of an old proverb that says "Sweeter than your children are your children's children." It is so true, for me anyway. I will defend my children with my life but will not lie for them. People I have known who have lied and defended their children whatever they have done have created children that grow into adults with a pathological sense of entitlement. That is what I see in Casey, and in all the Anthony's frankly. MOO.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I think the bond to my child would be stronger than any other bond to anyone (I apologize, I have no grand children, just what I think, I am SO close to my children) I would think that closeness would still be there in 20 years. I would like to say I would care more for their tiny baby, but I have honestly no clue if I would.I have never experienced it, and I won't lie. I love babies, and children, but how on earth would I know what I would do... I THINK I would care more for the unprotected tiny one, but I really do not know for sure. My love for my children are just endless.

Part of loving your children is teaching them right from wrong and holding them accountable. Preparing them for the world and then backing up and letting them live their life. Because after all, they are not children for very long and it is one day going to be their life. Prepare them for THAT, give them the tools they are going to need.

IMO, Some rules should never have exceptions.. if for no other reason then some of us need to train ourselves to follow them no matter how "dumb" they may seem to us. Life is not fair. You are going to have to deal with a$$holes your entire life.. teachers, employers, spouses, LE.. the sooner you learn you can't flip out on them and if you do you will pay for it, the better. cause and effect..

Had I been punished or had something taken away from me, something other than watching my mom yell at the police, trying to defend my idiodic (not to mention, criminal!) behavior when I got arrested at 15 perhaps I would have thought about it a bit more the next time (or the next or the next) I was about to commit a crime. Our job, our responsibility as parents is to teach our children and part of that HAS to be accountability. That is love, IMO

 

[OneLostGrl]

I can say from my own experience, my love for my grand children is at least as strong as my love for my children. An analogy that comes to mind is compounded interest, if that makes sense. I read once of an old proverb that says "Sweeter than your children are your children's children." It is so true, for me anyway. I will defend my children with my life but will not lie for them. People I have known who have lied and defended their children whatever they have done have created children that grow into adults with a pathological sense of entitlement. That is what I see in Casey, and in all the Anthony's frankly. MOO.

It shouldn't even be about who you love more- it's about right and wrong IMO.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I pray to God in earnest that I will never have to find out how I would react if I were facing a similar situation.

My young teenage son has been asking me some weird questions lately like "If I were a Nazi, would you disown me?" So far I've answered him by saying things like "Are you being a shock jock? Why?" I asked him if he knows what he is saying and to explain what being a Nazi means to him. Then, of course, I tell him he'd be better off not finding out. By the way, he likes to ask me this stuff in front of his friends for their reaction (he thinks he's funny - ha, ha). He'll test me about race, gay issues, sexual diseases, etc. I tell him the facts - how you get herpes for instance, and say that if he does not do that, he will not "get" that. If he does do that and gets that, then he made that choice - he took that risk. What else can I do. I won't be with him when he makes his decisions. He yanks my chain and I try to turn it into a verbal lesson and not react to the shock factor.

With that said, I'm thinking were do kids get this stuff these days? The boys play war video games all the time. Not my cup of tea but I want him to be aware and skilled if he should ever have to face an enemy. Protecting kids from realty, imo, is not a service. Sweeping things under the rug is not a service. You do this (unprotected sex) and take your pick a, b, or c could happen. You do this (steal) and a, b, or c could happen. Are you willing that to your life, son? Why would you do that, son?

If he makes choices that are criminal, he has been advised that he will pay the piper. Momma cannot and will not be able to save him. So, son, realize your choices are yours alone and please, I beg of you, choose to make your mamma proud.

After reading the remarks on this thread, I thought of the perfect answer the next time I'm asked a questions such as "Mom will you still love me if I become a drug dealer?" My answer will be, "The question is, son, will you still love yourself."

He!! yeah! Great post!!

I will love my son no matter what. Though I would never cover for him if he commited a crime.. THAT is not love! That is dysfunction!

 

[OneLostGrl]

CA feels like she herself failed as mother to KC and therefore KC killed her child because of this? See I don't see Cindy as the type of person that would say SHE herself was a bad mother. No one that has been interviewed ever said that Cindy told them she felt like she was making mistakes with KC or failed her. Cindy to me is not the type to put herself down. I think Cindy doesn't want to GIVE IN to the public pressure of having to ADMIT that her daughter is a murderer and a liar and SHE was her enabler.

I think that day will never come, because pride is a spiteful b8tch.

IMO

There is certainly no doubt, IMO, how Casey was created!

 

[Misfitdolly]

Your child is your child always and forever. I honestly believe that if my sons were ever in this situation that I would love them, support them, and be there for them. That does not mean that I would cover up for them, lie for them, and tell them they did nothing wrong. I believe the Cindy Anthony's of this world are few and far between. For every mother like her, there is a mother that would step up to the plate and turn her child in for a crime they commited. Why? Because they love their children and would rather they sit in jail than to self destruct.

I agree with this post. I think if i were in this situation with one of my kids (I have 4) I would do what I could to be there for them but I would not lie for them.

 

[Bobbisangel]

If I were in Cindy and George Anthony's shoes I know that I could not go visit my child in jail and I'm not certain that I could even have any type of communication with that child. I would still love my child but I would not like them and it would just cut me to the core to think that a child that I had given birth to and raised could end up doing something so horrible.

I think I have such strong feelings about this and other murders because of the murder of my youngest daughter. I just could not be supportive of a child of mine who committed murder and put so many people through hell.

If Caylee had been my grandchild I would never have allowed Casey into my home from jail on bond unless she told me where my grandbaby was. Things would have gotten physical I know if she refused to tell me. Unconditional love probably would have flown out the window if my child murdered my grandchild. I don't think I could even survive losing one of my grandchildren or great grandbabies. I would never have let 31 days go by without seeing my grandbaby either or accepted the excuses that Casey gave her mother.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I have two children, a 15 year old boy who I had when I myself was 15, this boy is my mother's life line and mine as well, if I ever did anything to hurt him, she would beat the hell out of me and maybe never speak to me again. I have another son who is 13 months and my mother can't even stand to hear me utter the word "NO" to him.

So would my mother stand by me if I killed one of these boys - NO - she would die of a broken heart and take me with her.

I have a 14 year old.. my mother adores him, would throw herself in front of a train for him. When I told her I was pregnant with him she started crying and said "She's having my baby". (?!)

She had been like a second mother to my son since he was born.. came to his doctors appointments with me, was there when he took his first step.. She knows him about as well as I do- health issues, allergies, dates of previous surgeries, was on contact lists at school, day care etc. She has been his only babysitter, ever! She would call and ask to have him over night and then call again and ask to have him stay another night and i'd have to get pi$$y sometimes and say "Ma, that's my son, I know ya love him but he needs to come home".

She told me that she loves my son more than she ever loved her own children and I believe her.. she really does adores him. However..

If I ended up in a situation like Casey's? My mom would instinctively split and defend me.. she could shut off the other part, her love for my son. I would become her focus.. a "victim" in her eyes. She is my mother and she has to take care of me, no matter what- it's her job! She would do whatever she could to "help me" (in her head). I have seen all of these same behaviors (and then some!) in Cindy.. It's a gift those with personality disorders have, it's called splitting . IMO Cindy's splitting has been obvious since "day 1".

I think she really did love Caylee she is just a sick woman.. she needs help. mo